The Fallout Continues
For the next few months Craig and Carl maintained a semi-peaceful truce. Despite the very drastic contrast in their temperaments, they were drawn towards each other. They had more in common than an outside observer would have imagined.
So they spent the Spring months together carefully ignoring any painful issues between them . They introduced each other to different music (Festivals in Carl's case - Classical concerts in Craig's and while openly deriding each other's taste in music, both for the main part enjoyed themselves.) They saw films and Craig even coaxed his man to the theatre once or twice (The second time, Carl stalked out before the end of the First Act, proclaiming it "a pile of crap"). Carl The IT expert updated Craig's rather dismal computer skills while he in turn taught him something of his own hobby, photography.
And so it was with no little perplexity that Craig returned from a successful shift one afternoon in May to find a fully packed bag at the door and Carl pacing the lounge, his most insouciant expression fixed on his face.
Knowing of Carl's love for the provocative gesture and his need for a reaction, Craig merely raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Going somewhere?" he enquired.
He was rewarded with a venemous look. "Spot on copper," said Carl. "I'm going home."
Craig sighed. "Why, what's wrong?"
"Isn't it obvious? It's just not working out this semi living together thing is it? Nice while it lasted n' all but, I think I've had enough."
For the first time Craig felt a stirring of alarm, the reason for which he could not exactly pinpoint.
"Carl, what's the problem here? We've been OK haven't we? We've been having good times."
"Oh yeah baby, some good times" drawled Carl, as usual retreating behind his lasciviously indifferent façade, the overdone Estuary accent that always grated on Craig's nerves slightly coming into play as well.
"Trouble is, it aint enough for me baby. I'm starting to feel like a mug and I don't like it."
"Look Carl, if you're hinting that you want to put things on a more permanent basis, then that's something we can talk about, there's no need for the amateur dramatics. You've never even mentioned to me that any such thing was in your mind."
Carl gave him a pitying look this time. "I know I might not be up to your intellectual level Craig, but I'm not as stupid as I look . There's going to be nothing permanent or semi permanent for us until you've sorted yourself out Vis a Vis LukieBoy," his lip curled as he employed the old sobriquet in his most withering tone. "And I'm not talking about living arrangements."
As usual, Craig felt his entire being stiffen involuntarily. He kept his voice even. "Carl what are you talking about? You know very well I haven't seen hide nor hair of Luke for months. Nor do I want to" he added.
Carl snorted with derision. "My God you are so transparent. How the Hell do you ever manage to trick all those suspects of yours into confession?
Craig looked confused.
"Look at it. Luke and I did a terrible thing to you…"
"I've never reproached you, I've never said a single word about the whole bloody business since that night," protested Craig.
"Exactly. It was all my fault yet you forgive me at the drop of a hat. Not the luscious Luke though. You're still consumed with bloody rage and jealousy about HIM" - once again Carl infused maximum contempt into the word.
"You've refused to speak a word to him since, you've blocked his messages, deleted him from your phone, you avoid going anywhere near where he might turn up. Come on Babe it doesn't take a genius to work out you're as obsessed with him as ever. Well, I'm sorry, I've had my fill of it." And Carl stalked to the door and grabbed up his bag.
Craig suddenly realised he was in deadly earnest and was flooded with genuine panic. He was not a man who could face being alone.
"Carl, don't go" he said. "I'm sorry if I haven't made you happy, I 'm sorry if I haven't…
"Haven't what? Been here half the time? Even when you're right next to me - or even closer." Craig recoiled at Carl's characteristic coarseness. "You got that right lover, and you never will be until you get your precious Luke out of your system. Why don't you just go to him? Eh?"
Craig's mouth hardened. "You know that's never going to happen," he said.
"Well you know what. I wish it would. Because I can tell you,once you've got the heart's desire, this THING you've been yearning for all this time, you'll be sick of the sight of him within six months'. Then maybe you could call me. But in the meantime babe, no more three in a bed so to speak for me. The novelty was nice for a while but it's worn well off."
Carl slung his bag onto his shoulder . Leant forward and kissed Craig firmly the mouth.
"See you lover… Maybe" he said.
And Craig was left alone once again.
ends
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