Chapter 1 The Jewish Narrorator

Rated M for language and thoughts of sex

Disclaimer I don't own south park

A/N well hello everybody and welcome to my new story called girl trouble I really hope you like it cause its different then what I normally write the summery probably won't give much info but it will explain the premise I hope you enjoy

KYLES P.O.V

You know the downside of being a male. Its that when you reach a certain age you have urges so much that you need too relieve them in certain ways. You know what sucks about being single with these urges...you have to fix it by hand. My name is Kyle Brofloski and I live in a tiny mountain town south or Denver. Most things that happen around here are so fucked up that you can't go five steps without blowing up. A few examples are visitors kidnapping and using anal probs, Tom cruise refusing to come out of my best friends closet only to return and lead an army of celebrities to destroy our town and hell even Jesus lives here and he owns his own talk show and is part of a justice league. So yeah this town is weird.

I live with my mom and dad who at first were going at it like a dog and a cat but after some marriage counseling they found the sparks in there marriage. Also I have an adopted Canadian brother named Ike. (which is weird cause I swear I remember him having dots for eyes but now he has normal eyes...spooky) Ike is a genius who is now a freshmen and has a IQ over Stephen Hawkings but he refused to skip after 6th grade...hell he waited 2 years for his friend Karen to catch up and now is in his freshmen year instead of a junior like me. I have 2 friends and 1 rival. Stan Marsh the best friend any guy could have in the world we have been friends sense preschool and that hasn't changed Yeah we fight but that's normal. My other friend is Karen's brother Kenny he's poor but really cool and a ladies man I swear he has gotten with every girl in the school at least once except maybe a few girls only cause they have we come to the last guy Eric fucking Cartman he is the biggest asshole in the world he is a dick a racist a homophobic and is pure evil. After middle school he became the school bully and terrorized us...for a bout a week then he was decked by butters. 2 things changed that day butters was no longer picked on and Cartman was no longer an ass...well he's still an ass but not too everyone else.

Ok enough of my past let's go into the present where things changed for the better.

"Kyle earth too Kyle HELLO" yelled Stan. we were in Lunch for an extra hour sense we were being sent home later. "oh shit sorry man focusing on uhh" I studdered. "Red ass again yeah I have too admit its nice" said Stan. Stan then got a nice wack on the back of his head by his girlfriend Wendy testaburger the smartest girl in the school. "Yeah its not smart to compliment a girls ass when your girlfriend is right next to you" said Wendy. "What I was just agreeing with my best friend we all know your ass is better" said Stan. Not the smartest thing too say I must admit. "OH WELL THAT MAKES EVERYTHING FUCKING OK RIGHT" yelled Wendy. "Ok guys love you both especially you Wendy but I am nutting up and asking her out" I said. I got up and Wendy gave me a thumbs up and I walked over to Red and tapped her on her shoulder. "Hey Red" I said nervously. "HEY Kyle" said Red. She wrapped her arms around me and her C cups were crushing me. "I wanna ask you something wi..." "Oh my god guess what GREGORY ASK ME OUT" yetest tomarrow Red. Well that I didn't expect Greg was a British smart ass who also is one of the smartest kids in school...behind me by the way. "Oh well I am happy for you" I said. "What did you want to ask me" asked Red. "Uhh did you study for that math test" I asked. "Didn't it get cancelled after everyone got in A on the state test last week they ordered Pizza hut...lucky for us cartman isn't in our class haha" said Red. Yeah so fucking funny. "Ha that's a good one" I said sarcastically. I didn't have to be a dick about it but I was hurt I was working on Red for the last 3 months but I guess fucking Greg has too be a douche nozel.

I walked back to the table and put my head on the table. "Wow that bad" said Stan. Wendy elbowed him. "Show some form of caring" said Wendy. You would think the amount of fighting they do they would eventually break up well your wrong they are head over heels in love and I can see it. "OY Jew hippie 1 and 2 what the fuck happened" asked Cartman. Cartman and Kenny walked over here with there food and Kenny was down. "Kenny what are you doing here be with you sister" said Wendy. Karen got beat up by a bunch of juniors but Nichole kicked there asses. "Cartman if you recall Karen got stabbed and a girl she was talking too got killed so WHY DONT YOU BE A HUMAN FUCKING BEING AND CARE" I yelled. Cartman just stood there dumb fucked at what I did I guess he knew I was serious and he decided too back off. "Hey I appreciate the jesture Kyle but don't make a scene in front of the school. "You gonna be ok" I asked. "Yeah Wendy's boobs are cheering me up right now" said Kenny. That's Kenny for ya he is a perv but we love him for it.

"Uhh I am standing right here" said Stan. Then Kenny took Stans shirt off. "Damn Stan you are fucking ripped" said Kenny. Stan is the quarterback and hits the gym all the time so naturally his body is toned but hell I am probably the 2nd most toned in the school cause I work out with Stan. "Uhh can I have my shirt back" asked Stan. "Nope" said Kenny. "Wendy please get Kenny too fork over my shirt" said Stan. Wendy was currently lost in Stans pecks at the moment I could tell she wanted him right there and now but so did every girl in school.

Speak of the devil a bunch of girls walked by gossiping loud enough for us too hear I think it was Trisha from my Spanish class. "So Wendy is still a virgin I mean if I was Stan I would upgrade to a real girl like me sense Wendy is too scared to lay on them sexy pecks" said Trish. What a bitch I know why Wendy hasn't put out and so does Stan she is A not whore and B smart enough to wanna wait till she is ready... and who says she doesn't lay on his abs my facts say Wendy likes to suck. "Don't listen TOO THEM WHORES" I yelled. The girls then gave me a FUCK YOU look and walked away then Wendy kissed my cheek. "Thanks Kyle but I don't care what them bitches say when I am ready I will go for it...and Stan I am warning you I might be an animal in bed" said Wendy.

"Well maybe I don't want to dress like a slut asshole we broke up last year for a reason so BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME" yelled a voice. "Ahh here comes Bebe" said Stan. Now remember when I spoke of urges well 90% of every male urge in this school is Bebe she is so hot you probably melt just from looking at her she has the boobs that would crush you and an ass that would put your dick in a wheelchair and a body that would knock you out...you could tell I was head over heels. "She then dropped her purse and bent over...HOLY SHIT she has a black mini skirt and was trying too conceal her rainbow underwear but I saw and the worst part was she saw me peeking...but she smiled and started walking over. "Hey sexy" said Wendy. "Wendy not in front of Stan" said Bebe. "I don't care if he looks I love you" said Wendy. They both laughed at there joke and I was trying to hide my boner. "So Kyle you like my panties I was going to wear my pink but I felt rainbow today" said Bebe. I had to go to the bathroom to relieve this urge...but when I got up I felt a draft between my legs... "Haha stupid Jew has a boner haha" said Cartman. The entire school stared at me and I ran ad fast as I could out of the lunch room in tears.

After about 30 minutes the school officially went into lockdown it appears the girls had boyfriends who wanted Token dead so security was lined up outside and we were stuck in the school for an extra hour. I am sitting here in the bathroom when someone knocked on the stall. "Kyle I know your in here" said Kenny. I opened the door. "Yeah what do you want" I asked. "Look Butters decked Eric again and Bebe wasn't embarrassed that you got turned on my her wendy is worried and stan took Eric too the nurses office" said Kenny. Why did Kenny come for me? "Why did Stan send you and not come too me himself" I asked. "Actually he wanted to come but I offered too give advice on the birds and the bees" said Kenny. Kenny then went on about sex I just toned him out. "And that is why hookers and pirates never get along. anyway I have had boners in school and trust me Bebe has given me plenty of them I just give her a pat on the ass and say thanks for the detention of what god gave me " said Kenny. Kenny means well but he doesn't know the truth...I have had a major crush on that girl sense middle school and I wanted my first to be in her.

End Of Chapter

This was my first attempt at Kybe I really REALLY hope it works out cause I love the pairing but I never had an idea how to write it until I read Happily Unhealthy People by Lillyfan123 and the continued version by YoshiSilverLover check them out I swear it is a good story and it is still being developed

oh and this chapter is up cause i was excited most likely chapter 2 wont be up till sunday or saturday night