Still don't owwwwwwwwwwn it.
The Tiger Ruler
By: KitsuneArasi
Inconvenience is the mother of--well, Sora wasn't quite sure what it was the mother of, but he was sure it would be helpful.
Indeed, poor Sora was desperately hoping for a reprieve-any reprieve-from the current situation.
The group had been desperate for something to do, and had wound up taking a vote.
Sora and Riku had wanted to swim, Wakka had been up for Blitzball, and Tidus was down for anything he could have fun watching that wouldn't aggravate his cold.
The girls had wanted to head inside and watched a movie of their choosing.
The boys outnumbered the girls four to two and had size on their side.
Selphie and Kairi were female and petite, with naught but their feminine natures to defend them.
So, naturally, the girls won.
And they were all sitting in Riku's den watching The Tiger Ruler, the boys crying (even before Mufuzzy died!) out of sheer misery.
Sora especially, because Selphie wasn't exactly light.
The quirky little brunette jump-roper would have no part in sitting on Tidus's lap, (taking a seat on Sora's instead, much to the keyblader's discomfort) due to 'Tidy-widy's germy-wermies'.
Sora had answered Tidus's mouthed 'Sorry, man' with a rather uncharacteristic flying of the bird in the blonde's direction.
His world was one of pure, unadulterated unhapiness until Riku, god of mercy that he was, cleared his throat.
"Selphie, don't you think Sora's a little...puny?"
"Hey! -Mmmmph." Sora had started upward only to be impeded by Selphie's yellow frame of doom.
"Well, yeah, I guess. Why?"
"Just look at him. He's too puny to even sit with someone in his lap!"
"Hmmmm."
"Poor Sora. Selphie, why don't you sit in Wakka's lap, and," he laughed, "Sora can sit in mine."
Sora froze. Damn, Riku was good.
And so the seating order was rearranged.
It was almost to the end of the movie, as Zuzu sang to Fleshwound about lovely bunches of avocados, when Sora felt Riku's hand massaging his lower stomach, inching lower and lower.
By the time Samba was leaving Fleshwound up to the Hyoonies, Sora was biting back moans toward the anemic end of the nosebleed scale.
Riku was enjoying every minute of it.
As soon as the movie ended, the two made their excuses as quickly as possible before high-tailing it up to Riku's room, tearing off their clothes, and lunging for the bed.
Kairi waved goodbye to the others at the front gate, as she lived in the opposite direction of the others. She glanced up at Riku's bedroom window and gave a smirk and an un-Kairi-like snicker before heading for home, singing "The Circular Cycle of Not Death" under her breath.
(La Fin)
Some of you may be sitting there, attempting to rip out your eyes or keep your bladders from exploding. Some of you may be asking 'Why?'.
Simple: Because clever euphemisms are oh-so-useful. Mwahaha.
