John's body was being cremated, Dean and Sam watched it, both still in shock. In Dean's mind, John's words still rang. 'I have to take care of Sam, more than before' he thought.

"He said something... before he...?" Sam quietly asked.

"No."

"Go pack, Sam" Dean said opening the motel room's door.

"What?! We're going?! How are we going? We have no car!"

"I don't care! I just want to leave, go pack!"

"Dean please, calm down, we can't leave, you have to fix your car," Sam said leaning on his brother bed then kneeling in front him.

"I can't... I can't... I want to leave... everything here reminds me of dad and everything that happened..." Dean said rocking himself holding back his tears.

"Dean-"

"Sam, leave me... just leave me alone! I want to be alone! I don't wanna see you!"

"Dean, you-"

"GET OUT! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU!" Dean yelled pushing Sam, making him fall on the floor. Still shocked at Dean's reaction, he just got up and left.

Dean cried his heart out laying on his bed, "Why me dad?! Why us?! We're not a family anymore... as much as I want him... he doesn't!! I don't want this dad... I can't! He's my brother... I can't do this!..." He wept. Later, after crying as much as he could, Dean fell asleep, and had a weird dream about his father...

John was at the window, looking down at him, smiling, "Dad?" Dean asked confused.

"Hi son..." John said.

"Dad, wha-"

"I don't have much time, Dean... You have to do what I told you. It's the only way to

keep Sam safe, to keep the demon go away from Sam"

"It's not! It's wrong!"

"But it's pure..."

"But dad-"

"Don't worry, everything will be ok. You'll work this out"

"Dad, please!"

"If you love your brother, you'll do this. It's not an order, Dean, it's a plea. I won't see you anymore, so wake up and go find your brother," John said vanishing.

"No! Dad!" Dean yelled waking up. He looked around and remembered he had shouted at Sam to get out, "Shit! Sam!?" he called running to the door and opening it, "Sam!"

"I'm right here, Dean." Sam quietly said sitting beside the doorway, crying.

"Thank God! I thought you'd left!"

"I didn't have anywhere to go so... I stayed here..."

"Oh Sammy, I'm so sorry..." Dean said kneeling and holding him.

"D-Dean... you're ok?"

"Yeah... why?" Dean said loosing up his embrace and looking away.

"You're so... affectionate."

"No... I... Well... I... uh... Let's... let's just go inside... ok?" Dean said getting up blushing and entering the room.

"You still want to leave?" Sam asked unsure, closing the door.

"No Sammy, I... I have to fix the car... I'm going to Bobby's to check on it, and see what I can do first, ok?" Dean said dressing.

"Ok... Well... I can help... if you want..."

"No, I can do this alone."

"I know, it's just, I didn't want-"

Dean closed the door not even hearing what Sam was saying.

"To be alone..." Sam whispered.

x x x

Sam sighed looking at the closed door and turned to the table, he got out his new laptop and looked for something to do. Dean spent the whole day out, that night he came back, sweaty and dirty, he opened the door and Sam looked up, "How was it?"

"Fine. I'll be pretty busy for a while," and went to shower. When he was out Sam tried to have a conversation. "Sam, I'm tired, I worked all day so... I just want to sleep alright?" And with that he laid turning his back to his brother.

Sam took a deep breath fighting back the tears and left the room, he sat outside and cried. Dean's behavior was hurting him, he felt so alone and Dean seemed not care about it. 'Why is it hurting so much, he questioned in his mind. 'I can't bear him this closed off from me.' His heart ached as he placed his hand on it, sobbing.

x x x

Dean heard Sam's cries outside and fought back the urge to go and hold him. 'I shouldn't do this. I have to. But... I can't...' Dean thought, trying not to listen to Sam out there, but he didn't stop, for a long time. Dean got up and opened the door, "Can you please be quiet?? I'm trying to sleep here!"

Sam didn't look back, he took a deep breathe and spoke "I'm... sorry..."

"Thank you!"

Sam got up and walked away, "Where are you going??" Dean asked, Sam just shuddered and kept walking, "Sam you shouldn't go out alone"

"I'm not a kid anymore!"

"But you know what's out there!"

"I don't care! Why do you care?!"

"Because I have to take care of you!"

"Well... you don't have to anymore!" Sam smirked.

"You're not going out alone Samuel!"

"JUST... LEAVE ME ALOOONE!" Sam yelled with his hands on his head and moved the trashcan beside him

and making it hit the wall.

Both brothers were frozen looking at each other, Dean just heard him whisper "It's back..." and Sam on the floor on his knees. He ran to him, holding him tight, rocking their bodies.

"No it's not! It's not Sammy! It's not!"

"Let go off me... don't touch me..." Sam whispered between his sobs trying to free himself from Dean's arms hearing him sob too.

"I won't, I won't let go Sammy"

"I'm going to hurt you... I don't want to hurt you!"

"You won't! Let's go inside, please," Dean said pulling him up and taking him to their room. He laid Sam on his bed and felt him holding his arm tight.

"Don't leave me... I don't want to be alone... please..." Sam whispered.

"It's ok Sam, I'm not leaving" Dean said trying to find a comfortable position and spooning himself with Sam falling asleep soon after.

x x x

"Sam... you... sleeping?" Dean asked uncertainly looking at Sam's back.

"No... why?"

"I... I just... can't sleep..."

Sam turned around and looked at Dean, they were so close, breathing just a bit harder than they normally would...

"What's wrong, Dean?" Sam asked with a glimpse in his eyes.

"I'm scared Sam..."

"Of what?"

"Everything... It's been a while, I'm feeling this... and I don't know what to do Sam... I think, I... I'm in love... with you..."

Sam didn't say anything. Dean touched his cheek with the back on his hand and kissed Sam softly.

"I love you Sam" he whispered.

"What-the-fuck-are-you-doing?!" Sam asked angry making Dean freeze, "Are you crazy?! What the hell are you thinking?! This is disgusting!! Get away from me! I'm not a fag! Why did you think I'd fall for you?! You're a man! And my brother! You want to go to hell, fine, but go alone! Shit! You kissed me!" Sam said going to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Sam... No... I..." Dean tried to speak.

"Shut up, Dean! You don't have anything you could say! That was awful and disgusting! You know, I don't want to live like this... Watching my back for you, don't make moves on me!"

"No Sam! I wouldn't do that! Please don't leave!"

"Yes I am! I hate this life anyway, and to live with someone like... you..." Sam said with a disgusted face and packing.

"No, Sam, please! No!" Dean screamed.

"Dean! Dean! Wake up man!" Sam said shaking Dean waking him up.

"Sam?? What th-"

"You're talking in your sleep man... saying that I was leaving and all... then you screamed that was when I woke you up!" Sam explained seeing Dean backing off. "What's wrong, Dean? You ok?"

"Fine. I'm fine. Go to sleep." Dean coldly replied going to the bathroom and closing the door. He washed his face and looked at his reflection "What the hell am I doing?"