I don't think this uploaded right, so here we go a second time with a few corrections.

Anyway, I still don't own the characters, if I did, I wouldn't wait tables.



As the fall term's end began to draw near, Ron began to care more and more for Harry. It wasn't an all of a sudden thing, but it began growing from the moment that he and Harry had met at the train station. Ever since then, the two had become inseparable. Ron cared for him not like the way he cared for his brothers or Ginny, or his parents, but in a different way.

Ron had been thinking deeply on this for a few days now, and had become oddly quiet. Usually, Ron was all fidgety in Professor Flitwick's class whenever a lecture was given, but today he was stone still, seemingly somewhere else.

Hermione took time from her rapt note taking to glance at Ron's total lack of attention. No doodles, no "I hate Malfoy" or anything of the sort. Just blank.

"Ron, our final is in just under a week! Why aren't you paying attention to Professor Flitwick?"

"Hmmmm?" was all that Ron replied.

"You've not taken a single note."

"Sure I have." He glanced down at his blank parchment and un-inked quill. "Oh, well, maybe I haven't then. Did I miss anything important?"

"Just a few things," Hermione replied as she held up half a dozen completely filled sheets.

"Ah, I didn't miss that much then."

Hermione threw him a look of disbelief that he completely didn't catch and went back to her note taking. The class ended a few minutes later and the two of them headed out into the hallway to wait for Harry.

While they were waiting, Hermione asked, "Ron, where were you in there?"

"I was thinking." After seeing a quick grin spread across her face before she could squash it, he added, "I *do* think sometimes, you know."

"I know Ron, I'm sorry. What were you thinking about?"

"Hogwarts, my family, Harry, and a load of other things."

"What about Harry?" she asked, since she thought about him a bit here and there too.

"His horrible family for a start. And . Um.. And that little brat Dudley." Ron didn't sound too terribly convincing with his reply. Hermione didn't buy it for a second, but didn't press the issue.

"Here comes Harry," Ron exclaimed, glad to end the conversation.

Over the next week, between studying for finals and the exhaustive and fruitless search for Flamel, Ron had very little time for thinking. In the little time he did have, he decided that he really liked Harry and that if anything were to happen to young mister Potter, Ron would surely die. He wasn't sure yet, but he was starting to think that he might even like Harry 'that way.'

The finals passed, and nearly miraculously, so did Ron. Harry and Hermione passed easily, of course, with Hermione getting nearly perfect marks. The fall term was over and nearly all the students were going home for the holidays. Hermione packed and gave the boys the order to keep searching for the mysterious Flamel in the restricted section of the library.

The days until Christmas passed slowly. The boys had Gryffindor house all to themselves. There were perhaps two dozen other students scattered throughout the other three houses. Without classes and studying, the two had more time than they thought possible. They could spend only so much time in the library during the day wasting their time. They couldn't get into the restricted section because it seemed that the other remaining students all decided they'd come in and catch up on a little work. The boys decided that they'd have to sneak in at night after Christmas sometime.

Christmas Eve rolled around, and after a delicious dinner, the two Gryffindor boys head off to the tower for a long winter's nap. Harry had been looking a bit sad and tired, so instead of getting him to play a little game of wizard's chess like he wanted, Ron decided to go ahead and go to sleep as well.

Harry took off his glasses and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead. He gazed out the window for a moment or two and climbed into bed.

"Goodnight, Ron," Harry called out to his friend and turned on his side.

"'Night Harry." less than thirty seconds later, Ron called out again, "Harry?" He got no reply aside from the sound of Harry's breathing. Asleep already. He felt so bad for Harry sometimes. Ron had a gigantic family it seemed. Dozens of brothers, a sister, two parents, all of whom loved him fiercely. Harry Potter had none of that. He lived with those horrid Muggles. They loved him like a toothache and treated him like a leper. As much as Ron grew tired of his family on occasion, he didn't know what he would do without them.

He looked over at Harry's bed in time to see him roll over and face him. He was smiling in his sleep. Harry pulled the blankets a little higher, up to his chin, and sighed contentedly. "Beautiful," thought Ron. As he watched the boy sleep, his mind drifted back to one of their first few weeks at Hogwarts.

The two of them were sitting under a tree after classes were over for the day. It was way too pretty to stay inside they told Hermione, but she claimed that she had some sort of research to do. Whatever. The two were lounging the afternoon away, chatting about various things, Eventually, Harry told Ron about his life with the Dursley's. After recalling a few of the more atrocious moments in his life, Harry sniffed a few times and wiped a handful of stray tears from his eyes.

Without even thinking, Ron put his arm around Harry's shoulder and pulled him into a hug. After a half-second, Harry hugged him back hard. Harry cried for a bit longer and then calmed himself down, all the while Ron holding him. When he was through, he let Ron go and wiped his eyes a final time and replaced his glasses. He looked at Ron.

"Thanks, Ron," and after a pause, "if you can believe it, that was the first hug I can remember, excluding Dudley's bear hugs."

At first, Ron wasn't sure exactly how to reply to that, but quickly figured it out.

"Well Harry, my family gives them out by the trunk load, so if you ever need another one, I have tons to spare."

"Thanks Ron. What do you say we go find Hermione?"

"Sounds good to me. Let's find her and grab a snack. It's been forever since lunch."

"Ron!! It's hardly been 90 minutes! Let's go."

The two took off, laughing heartily, heading for the library and then the kitchen.

Ron didn't forget that conversation. Some of what Harry said stayed with him and was heavy on his mind when he wrote a letter home a few days later. He told Ma Weasley about his first few weeks at Hogwarts and all the interesting things he'd seen so far. He also wrote about how Harry had such a rotten life. He didn't mention what Harry had told him, but got the point across efficiently. He got a letter back the next morning at breakfast.

It was short and said, "Harry might not have had a family before, but now he has a big one. Be a good brother to him, Ron." Ron folded the note and put it into his robes.

"My mum says hello, Harry," he said as he shoveled a heaping spoonful of eggs into his mouth.

That seemed like a long time ago, but it was actually only just over two months ago. Ron smiled and looked over at Harry for a final time that night. He was still smiling a bit.

"Happy Christmas, Harry." Ron closed his eyes and dropped off to sleep.

Christmas morning came and the presents were opened and amazed comments about the invisibility cloak were exchanged and many pounds of candy were consumed. The day passed too quickly and before the two knew it, it was almost time for bed.

Well, as we all know what happened that evening, with the mirror and all, I won't bore you with the details. What happened afterwards you don't know, so we'll pick up again there.

Ron awoke rather early the next morning and looked over to Harry's bed. The unmade bed was empty. Ron walked over to it and put his hand where Harry's body would be. Cold. "Harry's been gone for a while it seems," Ron said to no one.

He glanced out the window and looked into the courtyard. The sun was just beginning to rise above the horizon and was throwing faint light into the courtyard. A small form sat huddled under a statue in the lightly falling snow, a small form with a messy mop of black hair nearly hidden in thick black robes. Ron watched the sun come up, and once it had risen, the boy outside stood up and shook off the light dusting of snow and headed inside.

Ron threw on some warm robes and headed down to the main hall to meet up with Harry. Harry was just closing the door as Ron walked down the last of the stairs.

"Harry, what were you doing outside? It's frigid out there."

"I was just thinking, that's all."

"Well, how about you go with me to breakfast and you can maybe think where it's warmer and we can get some pancakes."

"Sure. Let's go." Harry's voice was sort of flat. It was lacking something, was it his normal spark? Ron wasn't sure. The two of them joined the few other students in the

Great Hall and had a delicious breakfast. Ron wolfed down plates of the cakes, but Harry hardly picked at his.

"Harry, what's wrong? You're just moving them around."

Harry looked at him in silence for a few seconds. "I just saw my parents for the first time last night, Ron. I can't get the images out of my mind." It looked like he was just barely holding back a flood of tears. "I think I'm going to go lay down for a little while. I'll see you a little later."

Harry got up and walked away, leaving Ron sitting in silence. It was quite obvious that Harry was hurting deep, and it hurt Ron to see his best friend that way. When he arrived, Harry was laying in bed asleep.

"How long were you sitting out there this morning?" Ron said in a barely audible voice.

He pulled Harry's covers up all the way and jumped in surprise as Harry cried out in his sleep. He soon started crying and Ron sat on the edge of the bed and patted his shoulder, saying "there there, it will be okay." He started whispering a lullaby he remembered his mum singing to him and Ginny when they were younger. After a short while of this, Harry quieted down and fell into a deep slumber. Ron slowly got up and went off to Harry some much needed quiet time and to find himself something to do.

Ron came back a few hours later after a snowball fight with the remaining students, and most surprisingly, Professor Dumbledore. No one could ever seem to hit Dumbledore, though.. When Ron got back to the dorm rooms to change out of his wet robes, Harry was gone. He was still missing when Ron got back from dinner quite a few hours later. Ron was getting very worried when he was preparing to go to bed Harry still wasn't back. He was about to go to Dumbledore when the door opened and then closed, seemingly on its own. Harry appeared a second later with the cloak now in his hand.

"Where have you been all day? I was getting worried. You missed dinner and everything!"

"I was looking in the mirror again. I was looking at my parents. I've never really met them, Ron. I don't remember ever hearing them speak. Never. I don't remember a single touch." Harry begins changing into his bed clothes. "The two most important people in my life are nothing but ghosts. Everyone knows more about Harry Potter than Harry Potter."

Ron is sitting in silence as Harry climbs into bed and wipes a few rogue tears from his cheeks. He pulls the covers up and takes off his glasses. "Do you know what the worst part of it all is Ron?" Harry asks in a choked voice. "The worst part is that in my entire life I've never known what love feels like."

With that last remark, Harry turned over and seemed to instantly fall asleep. Ron sits frozen, listening to his own racing thoughts as well as Harry's deepening breathing. Finally, he comes out of his near-trance and whispers to Harry's slightly snoring form while blowing out his candle, "Harry, I think I love you."

Ron awoke late the next morning after having a few quite unsettling dreams. He couldn't remember the whole of them, but a common thread running between them seemed to be losing Harry. He pushed the covers down and glanced over at the empty bed next to him.

"Oh bloody hell. Not again." Ron threw on his robes and sailed out the door into the common room. He was in such a huff that he would have walked right past Harry and out the common room door if the black haired boy hadn't spoken up.

"That hungry, Ron?"

"Ah! Harry, you scared the jeevers out of me."

"Where were you going?"

"I well, I figured that you were sitting out in the snow again and I was going to bring you back in here."

"No, actually, I was sitting out here while you proceeded to lumberjack all the trees in your dream in there."

"Huh?"

"Ron, you were snoring like a buzz saw. You actually beat Neville this time."

"Sorry Harry, you know, stuffy nose and all.Wanna get some breakfast?"

"Sure. Let's go."

The two boys had some wonderful oatmeal and toast that morning. By the time that breakfast was over, Ron was beginning to think that maybe Harry had snapped out of whatever funk he had been in. The two of them played games all morning and took turns on Harry's broom in the afternoon. Dinner came and went normally, and they retired to the dorms. A few games of Exploding Snap later, they turned in. Ron fell asleep rather quickly, seemingly relieved.

On Ron began to clear his forests again, Harry quietly got his invisibility cloak and snuck out of the dorm. He returned a few hours later, as the moon was just beginning to go down. He tried to sneak back in as quietly as he left, but made just enough noise to stir Ron.

"Harry, is that you?"

"I didn't mean to wake you, go on back to sleep."

Ron was about to tell Harry off a bit, about being out late again and all, but the look of sadness on Harry's face changed his mind.

"Harry, please tell me what's wrong. Please?"

"I'm fine Ron, just fine, really," Harry squeaked out in as reassuring a voice as he could muster. Ron however, believed that Harry was fine about as much as he believed that Malfoy had a soul.

"Harry, that mirror isn't doing you any good at all, you know that right? All it's doing is making you hurt. I don't think that you should go to it anymore." What he didn't add, but felt was "Harry, it hurts me to see you this way. Please don't go back to the mirror!"

"Ron, I wish I could explain it to you so you'll understand. They're my parents. I have to see them. I just have to. Eleven years go by and I can't just walk away from them, you know?"

"Harry, I .."

"I'm fine Ron, I'll see you in the morning." Harry said and buried himself in his covers and turned away. "goodnight."

"G'night, Harry." Ron croaked, choking back nearly all the tears that were welling up, except for a single one, which rolled down his cheek. He rolled over and tried to go to sleep, but it was a long time in coming.

When the sun came up, Harry's bed was once again empty. Ron looked over at it and felt more tears coming. He wiped them on his sleeve and laid back down and thought for a while. Ron eventually got up and looked out the window. Again, Harry was sitting in the snow, with his head hung low. He put his palm against the glass and mouthed the word 'Harry'. he sat back on his bed and cried himself back to sleep. When he awoke again, the sun was quite a bit higher in the sky and there was no robed figure sitting in the courtyard.

Ron changed out of his pajamas and headed to the Great Hall for lunch. Harry wasn't there. Ron was crestfallen. It seemed like his world was being ripped out from under him. Harry was hurting, and Ron felt like he was dying.

Dumbledore was in there as well. He was chatting with a group of students when he glanced in Ron's direction. He could see the anguish on the boy's face. If he only had a potion to cure hurt, Albus would have given it in a second. He excused himself from the little group and ambled Ron's way. The boy didn't even notice him approach from behind, so he gave a start when Dumbledore laid his hands on his shoulders.

"Sometimes, Mr. Weasley, it is best we speak our minds and throw the dice, rather than pine over all the possible outcomes of the gamble may be." With that, he tapped each of Ron's shoulders and mussed his hair a bit and strolled back to his chair.

Was Dumbledore telling him to go to Harry? Did he know? Of course not. Even if he didn't, he was right though, wasn't he? Ron smiled Dumbledore's way and tore out of the Great Hall.

It took him a little time, but he eventually found his way back to the room with the mirror. He opened the door and quickly walked inside. He saw the mirror and nothing else.

"Harry? Are you in here, Harry?" Ron called out, but got no reply. He walked forward and gazed into the mirror. A few days ago, it had shown him all grown up, but now it showed him the was he was now, only he was standing arm in arm with Harry. He hung his head and started crying heavily.

"Oh, Harry," Ron cried out, to no one, "we're together. That's what I want the most. Not to be head boy, not the quiddich cup, you." Had he been listening, he'd possibly heard the door shut almost silently.

He looked back into the mirror and spoke to the mirror's Harry, "Harry, you said that you've never felt what love is. I can show you." Tears were freely flowing again. "You just have to quit living in the past, Harry, because I love you now."



This almost made me cry a few times as I was writing it. The title came from the Blessid Union of Souls song, 'I Believe'. it just seemed to fit as I was writing the story. It was originally was going to be a Harry angst, but sorta became a Ron angst instead. I think it is better that way, what about you?

I almost don't want to end it, mainly because I can't figure out how to do it. Does Harry leave, or does he stay? I don't know. How about a few ideas???? thanks