Ok so this is my 2nd attempt at a fanfic......I have to thank my beta Cullen818, she's amazing! Thanks for your help. Now I have to say that I have an interesting story to tell, I hope y'all like it! It begins as Bella and Edward but then changes to Bella and Riley, and though I am completely team Edward, this is a different spin on things. It is based off Eclipse continuing from there. I always reccomend Reviews, because they completely motivate me!
Things I do not own: Twilight and Stephenie Meyer, oh how envious I am.
Things I do own: My own personal Emmett, my man, I swear he is just like him, and my personal Alice, she helped with the idea of my story and I have to thank her somehow!~Jac
I wanted to remind myself of what happened, how it happened, and why it happened to me. Everyday for the three months, I would walk to the kitchen where the back door was. I would test my emotional state of myself to see how much I could handle; I would slide down at the kitchen table and contemplate what my next step would be. Since I was going to be starting college in just a couple of days I wanted to make sure that I could handle it alone. What else would I expect, nonetheless?
I have gotten to the point to get up and go to the counter and pull open that top drawer and leave a non-evidencial note saying I was going to the store, or to the library, whatever I know would not make Charlie feel at all nervous. If he knew that he left again, he would have wanted posters up and around the town so fast, he wouldn't even know what happened.
Today was a good day to say the least. I actually walked over to the back door, before leaving a note for Charlie and placed my shaking hand on the doorknob to twist and pull towards myself. I very slowly began walking out to the backyard. I took a deep breath, which I didn't even realize I was holding at the moment and started moving. At the moment, I felt like my legs had a mind of their own, moving at their own will.
I came to the tree line of which the terrain would convert over to trees and deep forest floor. I took another unknown breath that I holding and continued to walk forward on the same trail that at one time walked with someone else.
So many emotions ran through me at that exact moment: rage, anxiety, sadness, and love. None of which would bring him back to me. I tried to run through the events leading up to this point in my life that took him away from me again.
Flashback:
"Bella I need to talk to you alone, would you care to take a walk with me?" Edward asked while extending his arm out to take me hand, which I gratefully accepted.
"Of course is everything ok?" I offered as we strolled do the walk into the street.
"Why wouldn't it be?" He explained while gazing into my eyes with as much love as her could show with them. "I just feel like being alone with you and Charlie will be home soon."
"Oh, well I don't see a problem with that then lets go" I answered as we were reaching the street to walk more.
We began walking down the street in front of the house. Casually, he at his human pace, and me as being human walked at a normal pace. I took in the scenery around us, the beginning of the woods just a few feet away and the all the homes that lined either side of the road. I would try and sneak a look at him and notice he was staring blankly into the abyss that was the world.
For the last couple of weeks, I could tell that he was pulling further and further away from me. I kept reassuring myself that everything would be fine and he wouldn't leave me again. I know I have been pushing our relationship to move to the next step physically and I know he didn't want to hurt and go beyond his control, but something didn't feel right.
"Let's go this way" He stated as he began tugging on my hand to pull me in a different direction that appeared to be leading into a wooded area.
We turned to start heading towards a more wooded area, more into a more trailed area. He kept his arm around my waist and held me tight; making sure that my famous clumsiness wouldn't play into wherever we were going.
I noticed that the trail was starting to disappear, as we were walking on the damp forest floor.
"Where are we going Edward?" I said with a shaky voice, I knew something was wrong; by the way he didn't look at me while he spoke.
"I found a lovely little place back here, where we can sit and be comfortable and safe." He claimed, but I knew something was wrong, because the last time that he brought me into the woods, he was leaving me and told me that he didn't want me anymore and didn't love me. That couldn't be true this time because he knew what he was putting me through, why would he do it again?
"Oh,... well alright then." I voice was breaking down more now, and I could tell that he knew it. He was refusing to look at me face to face, like he was contemplating something, or trying to hide something from me.
He loosely released his hold on my waist and slowly let his hand graze my lower back, and it sent shivers down my spine with the electricity we omit to one another. I shuddered.
"Are you ok? Are you cold?" He asked as he cupped my face with his hands, staring intently at me trying to reassure me, or what appeared to be himself, held so much sadness in his eyes that I didn't understand what was going on.
"No, I'm fine." I answered back.
"Here take a seat" He offered towards the broken down trees that had lain all around us. I gladly complied and sat down on the tree trunk that had it final resting place among the forest floor among the insects and animals that have inhabited it.
He slowly sat down beside me never leaving my gaze, I slowly started to blush, he smiled back and I could tell that it didn't reach his eyes.
"You look beautiful." He said, but yet the comment didn't reach him fully as he said, as if he was saying it to make me feel better about what was to come next.
"Thank you" I complied back.
"Your welcome, love."
We sat there in a comfortable silence, knowing that we didn't have to speak to know what was going on.
"What's this all about?" I calmly asked.
"What do you mean?" He calmly stated back, but yet I could feel the tension in the air begin to rise, and something was coming I could feel it.
"Why are we here?"
"I thought it would be nice to bring you someone where you felt comfortable, are you not, we can go somewhere else if you would like, love."
"No, I'm fine." I answered truthfully as possible.
"I wanted to talk to you about something if that is ok."
"Of course." I answered back, hoping that this wasn't going to go as I hoped I just wanted to keep myself calm, like the calm before the storm.
"Well,...I don't know where to star; I'm actually for a loss of words." He said.
"Seriously?"
"Yes." He said as he turned towards me and his brow furrowed from my reaction.
"Yes Bella, I want to talk to you and I am trying to find the right way to say this." He advised with an authoritative tone about him that made me cringe when he said it that way.
I immediately jumped up to stand, because you never start a conversation like this and have a small inkling on what could possibly happen next.
"Bella....."
"No."
"Wait, let me explain."
"No."
"Why not."
"You want to leave me don't you?"
"..." He paused, he was turning more towards me now, and I could feel the anger building up in me like a bubble, and I wasn't sure that I could hold onto it any longer, if he really was going to leave me.
"DON'T YOU!" I yelled, I had anger coursing through my veins and I couldn't hold back any more. I clenched my fists and in a tremendous speed I pulled back my arm and swung. Hard. "OW." I realized that what I had just done was a huge mistake as my hand landed with a loud smack against his chest.
"Damn, Bella, I told you that you would just get hurt if you did that, don't you want an explanation?" He stated back at me, but the way I yelled back at him I good see him cringe from the venom in my words.
"I don't think I could accept anything you say to me right now."
"Bella, please."
"Please,...you actually asking politely to break up with me, are you serious?"
"Bella wait."
"No."
"I love you if that means anything."
"No."
"Do you love me?"
"You know I love you, but why would you do this, now?" I spat back, hoping that he would change his mind. I couldn't handle this, not now not like this.
"Because I can't handle this anymore, I need to go away for a little while and deal with some things." He said.
"What DO YOU have to deal with and not include me on?"
"You won't be safe."
"I am always safe when I am with you, what makes you think that I won't be if I go with you."
"Bella, you have to understand, I can't risk losing you, so I am not going to take you with me."
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
"Bella....please calm down."
"I will not calm the fuck down. You're leaving and obviously that's that." I yelled back, hoping that he would notice how messed up this was that he would actually do this again to me. I felt the knives repeating the process to my heart that I had felt a year ago and it was all because of him.
"Bella when I am done I will come find you and we can be together again."
"Bullshit."
"Bella please...understand, I love you and always will."
"Bullshit."
"Bella,...you don't know what you are saying, I know you love me."
He stood up to come close to me, to embrace me as I took a few steps back.
"Bella, what are you doing?"
"I can't touch you, not like this."
"What do you mean?"
"EDWARD, your breaking up with me, and you want to touch me? Embrace me it doesn't work like that." I said with anger behind the words I spoke, letting him know how I felt about all of this. "You have no right."
"But ...Bella."
"NO!" I screamed, hoping that I would shake him to the core, of how much he was actually hurting me. I began to feel the wetness rolling down my face; I hadn't realized that they had started to fall.
Edward took another step forward and as before I took another step back.
"Bella please, I want to be close to you before I leave."
"NO! If you want to leave me, leave it like this, with you hurting me, like last time, so I can bottle that anger up and when the time comes that you ever come back to me, I will let you have like there is no tomorrow." I said back, but sadness had overcome me now, so there was no passion behind my words.
He began taking another step towards me and I froze, his face was inches from mine, his gaze burning into mine, all the way to the core. I couldn't move, as I started to feel that all too familiar fog developed all around me. He was dazzling me.
He slowly slid his hands up from my lower back and embraced me tightly. He lowered his face so that we were eye level and blew his breath in my face; I inhaled his intoxicating scent that always reminded me why I always stood by him with all the love that I could give him.
He pressed his forehead against mine. I shuddered from the touch. I still felt the tears strolling down my face and I tried to contain myself from trying to slap him, knowing that I would end up hurting myself in the end. At this point if I did, I didn't even care. I knew he was playing dirty.
He lowered his face more and lightly brushed his lips against mine. I needed more. I slowly raised my hands to bring them up and wrapped them around his neck. He began to pull me tighter, as if for dear life.
I pulled him back towards me; I had to have more of him. I began to kiss him again, but with more urgency. He could tell how much I wanted it and returned the favor, with more urgency. I slid my tongue out, hoping this time since it would end up being the last; began sliding it back and forth a crossed his bottom lip hoping that he would grant me entrance. As usual he didn't.
He began to pull away, but instead he lowered his head and began nuzzling my neck. I hoped that he would do more, but nothing else happened. I could hear the low growl building from him in frustration. So I pulled back.
"What is wrong with you?" I yelled at him, all the rage was back and taking over.
"Wh-What?" He came back at me, but seemed dazed by my sudden impute from what just happened.
"Why would you do that to me, then pull away when I want more?"
"Bella, I can't"
"WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD!"
"I'm sorry." He said, as he began to hang his head in the shame that he has brought me now.
"Edward I want you to leave, NOW."
"But, Bella, I want to explain somethi-" He said, and then I abruptly cut him off. "NO! Just go, I can't deal with this anymore."
"BELLA! Stop interrupting me, I want to tell why I am leaving." He yelled back, with anger full in his voice as he looked back up to me, meeting my gaze, pleading with me to understand.
"This time you do, I'm shocked." I said back with venom mixing with the words that I was saying.
"Please."
"Fine. Then explain. It's not like you words mean anything to me now." I explained sarcastically.
"It's Victoria, we are leaving to search for her, and we aren't coming back until I know you are safe."
"Why?" Was all I could force out.
"Since we know that Laurent is already gone we don't see any other danger that is going to come for you except her." He explained as he looked toward the ground knowing that what he was saying was starting to sink in.
"So why do you have to leave because of her?"
"We feel that if we leave, it would give her an opening to try and come for you, but with the werewolves always on guard we know that they will protect you while we leave and track her down. Since I can't track her by myself we are going to do it as a family, do you understand?"
I could still feel the tears streaming down my face as he explained why he has to leave me again. I just couldn't comprehend the reasoning why his entire family has to do it together.
"Why do all of you have to go?" I asked, hoping that I wouldn't have to be here all by myself.
"We feel it will be the quickest this way to go about the situation."
"The situation? Edward you are leaving me again, I wouldn't say that would be considered a situation, would you?"
"No."
"Now what, are you going to tell me to move on with my pathetic human existence, have a happy human life is that it?" I stated, but I could tell that I hurt him with that comment.
"No, Bella, I don't expect you to wait forever, I just don't want you miss out on anything, because honestly Bella I don't know how long it will take."
"How dare you! How dare you try and make this sound all high and noble. Just say what this is and be done with it, because honestly I just want to go home now."
"I love you." He claimed. I honestly knew that I loved him, and always will but why would he do this in the first place, after everything that we have been through and for what? For him to turn around a leave again.
"NO!" I screamed. "Quit saying that shit to me, I am tired of it. I can't take this anymore, Edward! This is killing me; I can't believe you are doing this again."
I fell to my knees, clutching my chest tightly so I don't lose it even more. I knew I loved Edward and I didn't want to lose him, but how could he do this to me. Was I not good enough for him? Did I honestly think that I could keep him around forever?
"Bella, I have to go now."
"Why now? Why like this?"
"Because, if I leave now then it will be easier on us."
"ON US! You mean for you. Don't you remember what happened when you left me before? Don't you remember what you put me through?"
"Yes, Bella I remember, and Jake is the one that put you back together again. I don't want him to do that again, which is why I want to do this now at this point in time."
"Why is this time so much more convenient now, among any other time?"
"Since you are going to be starting school in just a couple weeks then you will be away from everyone, and you will be doing something new and exciting and you won't have time to think about me."
"EDWARD! We are supposed to do U of A together, remember! What about the vote? I want to be like your family, OUR family."
"Bella, we have plenty of time for that. I just want to make sure that there aren't any more threats against you before we have our future together."
"HA! What future? Maybe I should correct you; YOU JUST BROKE UP WITH ME! AGAIN!"
"I'm sorry Bella, I have to go now."
He bent down, slowly to not startle me and placed a chaste kiss upon my head, then he lowered him self ever more and bent his head down further and whispered in my ear, I will always love you for your entire existence.
I started hysterically crying once I knew he was gone, but I couldn't do it for long or Charlie would get suspicious and call the FBI or something to find me. I quickly swiped my face and with the sleeve of my shirt and got up. I couldn't torture myself and collapse on the ground letting the environment take me with it. I had to hide it, if not for myself then for Charlie, I could never let him see me like this again, it would just kill him.
End Flashback-
As I was beginning to walk out into the woods, my fate was against me today. I could hear the thunder building up from all around me. I could feel the static in the air as I cautiously walked through the deep floor in the woods.
I clenched my fists and wrapped them around my chest hoping to hold myself together. I took another deep breath that I didn't know I was holding. My flight for Anchorage was in less than twelve hours and I wanted to make sure that I didn't forget anything about where he left me again.
Thanks again,.....REVIEWS are always welcome.
Up next, Bella saying goodbye to Jacob and Charlie.....
