"Diary Of The

Affair and Death"

One day on great Wisteria Lane, Bree Van De' Kamp of the Van De' Kamp home is still grieving her husband's death about four and a half years ago. She was going through old boxes of her husband, Rex's until she found a diary and on the cover it said:

Bree Van De' Kamp

June 1st 2005

Diary of Now and Beyond

Bree carefully opened the diary as if she were opening something 100 years old hoping wouldn't break.The first page of the diary said:

Dear Diary,

Rex went out of town today. George Williams is coming over at nine. We kissed yesterday. If I had to rate his kiss on a 1 through 10 scale, I'd give him a 3.He made Rex feel like a good kisser.

Well I feel so bad about cheating on my great loving husband. I so really, dearly love my great husband. Oh my goodness, the cops are outside.I have to go they have Andrew.

Bree looked up thinking she shouldn't read anymore because she was already teary eyed. Another part of Bree was telling her to go ahead and read more. Bree ended up fllowing her second stomach and read more:

Dear Diary,

The cops were here because Andrew ran over Mother Solis; Gabi's Mother-In-Law.I took a stand for my son because I believe it was partially my fault.

Rex came home today but he said he had to go to a friend's about work. Last night, George, well he's an okay lover but Rex on the other hand whoa! George came over to my house right after Rex Left today and we made love as if we were two animals in heat.

Lynette actually got to spend time with Tom today. Susan is still grieving the fact Karl left her. Edie is still taking other women's leftovers. Well I have to go make dinner now.

The more Bree thought the more she was upset. Even though she felt as if her world were falling she still felt on reading the diary.

Dear Diary,

Sorry about not writing the past couple of weeks. I found out Rex was cheating on me with Maisy. How dare he do this to me? I know I cheated but, T at least George doesn't step on me with very expensive stilettos. Andrew has shared with us that he is gay or my mistake Bi-Sexual. Well I'm ticked off I have to go good bye.

Bree's sadness had now turned to fury thinking about Rex's cheating with Maisy. The anger and sadness filled Bree's mind. Even though she felt like closing the book she didn't she just kept reading.

Dear Diary,

Today Rex found out I was cheating on him with George. Rex got really mad and left. Maisy came over to show sorriness but I told her to leave immediately. Well there isn't a lot to talk about today, Goodbye.

Dear Diary,

Rex died today. I really miss him. Phyllis came over today and she's annoying me. Guess what I made her feel really shocked today because I told her she couldn't go to my husband's funeral. Sometimes I really wish I could pay people to beat her with sticks. Phyllis is so annoying. Well im going to go tell her to shut up or ill shut her up. Well Bye.

"Mom" Andrew called for Bree. Bree tried to wipe her tears before he got there but he found her. "Mom, are you okay." Andrew said in a loving tone. Bree smiled and said "When your dad died all I could think about was suicide, but seeing you, your sister, and now your little brother Alexander, smiling faces made laying next to your father seem like hell.' Andrew dropped to the ground and held his mother and with a quivery voice he said" P, P, Please don't leave me like dad did, Mom I really love you". Bree smiled and watched Andrew wipe his tears as he walked out. Then Bree started reading again.

Dear Diary,

Today at the funeral Phyllis got so scared because I actually changed Rex's tie in the middle of the ceremony.

Can you believe this that damn forensics place actually think I killed Rex yeah right. They even made e take a lie detector test.

Dear Diary,

Today George and Andrew got in a fight. I invited George over for dinner. Well there's not a lot to talk about today.

Dear Diary,

The dinner idea was really bad idea. Come to find out Andrew knows my love life way to much. He told George that when im having a good time I make an mmmmm, him noise. Well, George just like went crazy telling me to ground Andrew. He was acting like such a nerd. Well, I really got to go goodbye.

Bree smiled and felt as if her life just brightened up. "Mommy, Mommy." Alexander called from the hallway. "Yes Alex, mommy's in Rex's old office." Bree told her son. "Oh hey, mommy since I love you so much, frown, may I got to the mall with Bub and Sis," Alex asked ," bub and sis told me to ask you that ?"" Tell them I said to have you back by 7:00 for dinner." Bree answered her son.

Alex's feet patted against the floor sounding like a puppy running in hardwood floors." No running in the house," Bree yelled down the steps. Seeing Alex put a smile on her face.

Dear Diary,

Today is March, 1st 2006 and I just had two twins a boy and a beautiful little girl. My baby for the short amount of time she was alive her name was Wisteria Lalaine Van De' Kamp. She died right in my arms.''

R.I.P

Wisteria Lalaine Van De' Kamp

March, 1st 2006- March 1st 2006

My baby Alexander Rex Van De' Kamp is still alive for now. Im not sure if Rex or George is the father. Im not even sure if I want to know. Well im getting a little tired or woozy cause of the twins.

Bree looked up from her diary and smiled softly thinking of Alex then once Wisteria hit her mind she cried until she heard the little patting on the floor. Before she knew it she was being knocked over by her dog Wisteria.

Bree was done reading her diary so she finished cleaning out Rex's boxes until she found a note that said:

Hey honey,

As you know I should be dead now. Before forensics starts asking you questions give them this letter. I Rex Van De' Kamp committed suicide. When I had found out that my wife Bree Van De' Kamp cheated on me I called my pharmacist, George, and pretended to be my son Andrew so he'd change my prescription and id die. So know now that it's not your fault and I forgive you, and love you. Good bye y sweet love

Rex Van De' Kamp

Bree cried as if Rex died yesterday. Bree cleaned herself up and got ready for dinner. Alex came running through the front door and told Bree "Mom, look bubs and sis got me toys." Bree smiled and thought f how lucky she was.