Her Smile

Her Smile

By Yukimi Yuki Takiro

Prologue: Lost Heart

Life was a cruel reality that he hated to believe was there. Perhaps it happened because he refused to look at it, to acknowledge that it happened to anyone at anytime. Because of his stupidity, he lost the two people who loved him. Death was merciless. They were there one second and then the next they were gone. It was like a slap to the face.

Syaoran didn't want to admit to himself that he had been blind. He didn't even want to think about it. He just wanted to forget. He just wanted the pain in his heart to stop hurting him. He wanted to believe they weren't dead. Because then it wouldn't feel as though a knife were plunged into his chest. It wouldn't feel as though he couldn't breath. The day they were taken from him, that was the day he stopped smiling. Who could smile after losing them? He couldn't.

"Syaoran?" Meilin Li stared at his door, her fist poised a breath away from the door. She clenched her hand and lowered it, hearing no answer from the other side. Two years had passed since the death of Syaoran's father and Syaoran's love. In those two years Meilin hadn't seen her cousin smile even once. He never displayed a single emotion on his face or in his eyes. It was as though he were dead inside.

They'd started a new life in Japan, away from Hong Kong where they had died. Even though they were away from there, Syaoran still hadn't changed. It hurt. In her way, Meilin loved him. He may not love her in the same way, but they were still very close. They'd shared things with each other when they were children. That had all changed when Syaoran had met Lien. Meilin had resented Lien for taking Syaoran away from her, but as they grew older, she had to tell herself that she had never had Syaoran in the first place. Lien had made Syaoran laugh and smile. She had brought out a side to him that no one, not even herself, had seen. But one cold night Syaoran had returned carrying Lien's limp body. He had been silent and his eyes had held a deep, fathomless agony in their depths. It was later that Syaoran's father was found dead as well. Syaoran never spoke of what had happened and Meilin had never asked.

Meilin mentally shook her head and smiled sadly. What was she doing? Waiting? For what? Meilin gasped and jumped away when the door suddenly opened. She lowered her hands from her fighting stance.

Syaoran glanced at her briefly before walking away.

"Syaoran? Where are you going?"

He reached the door and paused. "Out." Syaoran opened the door and slammed it behind himself.

Meilin could only stare at the closed door with downcast eyes. She wanted Syaoran to tell her about that day. She wanted him to trust her. She wanted him to love her. Meilin hugged herself. How ridiculous. He never would return her feelings.

Suffocating. Being in a room for even a little felt as though the walls were closing in on him. He couldn't stand it. Not even the darkness made it feel any better. Syaoran kept walking. He had no destination in mind. He just wanted out. Even if he moved halfway across the world that still wouldn't erase the memories or the pain. It wouldn't do any good. As long as he lived he would always remember. And as long as he remembered, he would always feel the pain.

Syaoran slowed his walk as he found himself in the town's park. It was deserted and lonely. He halted on the bridge. He leaned against the railing, staring up at the blue sky.

"Hoooeee!!"

Syaoran sharply turned his head at the sound of a girl's scream and the loud crash which followed after. What he saw was the girl on hands and knees upon the ground. She sat up and slapped off the gravel from her palms. She was rather plain-looking with shoulder-length amber brown hair. But what caught his attention were her clear emerald green eyes.

Syaoran found himself walking toward her and holding out a hand. She glanced at his outstretched hand and then slowly up into his eyes. She blinked a few times before taking his hand. He hauled her up to her feet and stepped back to give her room. He watched her as she patted herself down.

"Are you alright?" he asked. He didn't know why he was asking. Just out of politeness, he guessed.

The girl glanced up at him and smiled. Her smile was bright and it even reached her eyes.

Syaoran was taken aback by that bright smile.

"Hai, arigato," she replied.

He looked away. Why did her smile surprise him? It was ridiculous. His eyes widened and he looked back at the girl. She tipped her head to the side, but her smile still graced her lips. He knew that smile. It surprised him because Lien had that same smile. Syaoran grimaced and clenched his hand into a fist.

The girl's smile faded. "Um…"

"Go," he hissed.

She was taken aback by his tone. He could see that in her eyes. He looked away.

"But-"

"Go!"

The girl quickly bowed and ran past him. Syaoran could only watch her as she ran away from him. He swore under his breath and struck the railing with his fist. He didn't need to be reminded of Lien. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to believe she was gone. He didn't want to accept that.

To Be Continued…