I can't handle this show. I really can't. So here's me being cathartic and writing out my feelings.
This is based on the theory that ghosts can in fact interact with the environment to a degree. Seriously just watch Ghost Hunters, they move things and shit.
This is probably less edited than what I would normally do but...too many feelings. DX
RIP Cora- we hardly knew you.
She was dead.
That much was evident. She could see her own grave from where she was standing in the old mausoleum. And she could remember it...dying.
She could remember the pain, but more than that she could remember the rush of pure emotion she had felt just minutes prior to her death. She was glad to have had her heart, if only for those few precious, radiant moments.
But then she had been falling, a pair of arms had caught her and she'd known then she would only have a few seconds to say what had been buried inside her for a lifetime. Then there had been nothing. Darkness. Nonexistence.
And now she was here, aware but not alive, standing next to the ornate marble coffin she inexplicably knew contained her body. It was a strange feeling, a bit disorienting.
And a bit sad.
She lifted her hand, grazing it over the inscription.
Cora Mills. Beloved Mother.
She couldn't feel it, couldn't truly touch it. If she applied too much pressure, her hand would simply pass through it.
She supposed it was only natural her daughter would bestow her with her same last name. The last name she had taken, knowing her mother's roots.
Regina had not seen the shame in it like Cora had. She had cut all ties to that dismal place and her drunken, worthless father.
Even from beyond the grave, Cora could still feel that burning anger. And she could not, though she regretted everything else, feel any remorse for having clawed her way up and out of the dregs of society.
If only she had made different choices.
Perhaps that was why she had returned now. While alive, she had never known nor cared what existed on the other side of death. Now she wondered...why had she come back? She could remember nothing between this moment and her death...what of an afterlife? Did it not exist? Or was it simply not for her? Was she cursed to roam this place forever?
She looked up from the inscription, and with a pang of emotion saw a single red rose lying on top of the coffin. Cora could feel tears welling in her eyes. (So ghosts could cry. Interesting.) She made her way over to it, and instinctively tried to pick it up- she could not.
Smiling sadly, she remembered the first time she had lain in a coffin- her daughter had given her a rose then as well. Even without her heart, Cora had felt a great deal of emotion in that moment- a rush of love that had seemed overwhelming at the time. It had paled in comparison to what she felt now. Even so, that rose had restored hope to her, had given her the strength to put a plan in motion that would allow her to be with her daughter again.
She had kept the rose for 28 years.
But now, Cora could see now that the entire thing had been foolish. Her plan had been nothing short of ridiculous, though it had not seemed so at the time. But she knew now- she had not needed to manipulate or kill. She could have gotten Regina back without all that nonsense had she only allowed love to win out.
Oh how she regretted ripping out her heart. She had wasted an entire lifetime with her quest for power, she had missed out on...everything. On love. Family. Truly, she had missed her daughter's entire life. She had been there physically, but instead of loving her as she'd deserved, Cora had abused and mistreated her. Oh, she had certainly loved her to the best of her limited ability, but it had been all wrong.
Regina had been a smart, kind, and beautiful child. Even without her heart, Cora had seen that and been proud. But she couldn't stop the need for power, the desperate desire of her darkened soul to see her daughter succeed where she had failed. An act of love, warped and twisted.
Now she could see everything so much more clearly. She had not succeeded in anything, she had simply forced Regina into walking her same path the night she had killed that stable boy. If there was only one action she could take back...
But alas, they were where they were. Regina had married the King, and Cora had been flung into Wonderland to become Queen.
Power had been so empty there. Oh she had relished in it and used it to her advantage, but the place had been unbearably lonely. She had used her power only to find a way home, going quite mad in the process. Wonderland seemed to have that effect. It was as the Cat had once said- "We're all mad here."
Eventually the pirate had come and she could finally return to her daughter.
But Regina had wanted her dead. And there had been the real hurt, and even now Cora could still feel the sting.
It had worked out in the end, but not without destroying several lives in the process. Cora remembered the moment she had first beheld her beautiful girl, for the first time in several years. The moment had been overwhelming then, and she truly had meant every word she had said. To the extent that she was able to, she had loved Regina fiercely, had only wanted to be reunited with her and to help her. She could still remember the moment when Regina had fallen into her arms in that strange carriage. Holding her baby girl again had felt a dream at the time, but now...oh now, with all her emotions returned, she remembered the moment and could burst into tears. Why oh why had that not been enough?
Though to be fair, gaining the Dark One's power had come second. Regina had been her first goal. But the lust for power had ultimately consumed her. She had been so tunnel focused on that damned dagger...she easily could have lost Regina in the process.
Really her life had been nothing but a series of wrong choices.
She heaved an airless sigh, (no need to breathe anymore,) and turned away from the grave. There was no point in dwelling on things here. If she was to wander this earth for the rest of eternity, she might as well be with her daughter.
It was night, she realized, when she emerged from the mausoleum. The sky was cloudy, and there was a soft drizzle of rain. Slowly, she made her way to the main road.
The streets of Storybrooke were quiet, and to Cora it seemed there was a sad feeling about the town- perhaps that had always been there and she hadn't noticed it before? She knew it certainly had nothing to do with her. She could think of only one who might mourn her.
She turned the corner, not quite sure if she was walking or floating, and there it was- the large white mansion she had barely had time to know. And so much of that time had been wasted in all the pointless scheming. They had had a few quiet moments, though, and Cora would treasure them always. Even if at the time she hadn't.
Stopping at the door, she wondered briefly if this wasn't some sort of invasion of property. Was she to haunt this house for eternity? But then, if there was no other way to be with her daughter...she stepped through the door.
The house was dark, and quiet. Cora glanced around the corner, at the clock that sat on the mantle of a fireplace- 12:37 AM.
Curious of the date, Cora stepped into the kitchen, looking at the calendar that hung on the wall. Regina had taught her to read it. The day she had died had been March the 10th. She looked at all the crossed off days- Regina was meticulous about it, she kept her life almost obsessively organized- since the 10th, three days had been crossed off.
Three days she had simply not existed. How strange to realize.
She stepped back into the foyer, stopping at the base of the large staircase. She placed a hand gently on the railing, careful not to let it fall through- true, she couldn't really feel it, but she liked the illusion nonetheless.
She peered upwards, slowly climbing up to the first landing. Here, she could see that a light was still on. She recognized it, it was from Regina's bedroom. A lump formed in her throat, and suddenly she felt uncertain about seeing her daughter. But really she had no choice, her legs moved of their own accord and she continued her ascent, made her way down the hall, and stood quietly in the doorway.
Regina sat at her vanity, dressed in a nightgown and bathrobe, her head in her hands. She was silent and did not move- for all Cora knew she could have fallen asleep like that. But then Regina gave a soft sniff, and Cora knew she was awake- awake and crying.
Instinctively Cora felt the desire to comfort her, to hold her baby like she deserved to be held. She moved to her daughter's side, standing behind her. She placed her hands on Regina's shoulders, only to watch them fall right through- and then she remembered. She wasn't here.
She was dead.
Cora felt tears of her own beginning to fall. She steadied her hands- she could not touch Regina but she'd be damned if she didn't try. It was all she could do.
Suddenly Regina sat bolt upright, her reddened eyes darting around the room. Cora drew back in alarm, wondering if Regina had perhaps heard a noise. But there was nothing, and Regina shook her head and scoffed softly.
"You're losing your mind," she told her reflection in a thick, raspy sounding voice. She stood then, walking right past Cora to her bed. Cora watched as Regina flicked off the lights and crawled under the covers, sighing deeply. Cora moved to sit next to her on the bed, and found that she could. She sat and watched as Regina seemed to be fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She must have been exhausted.
Her baby girl looked very peaceful in her sleep, so different from her waking hours. Cora couldn't help but smile softly to herself- if she could only stay here, like this forever, then that would be enough.
She had done this on occasion when Regina was a child- come into her room and watch her sleep. She had often thought then, of the future that Regina would have. She had envisioned her daughter as queen, would brush Regina's long hair away from her face and whisper softly that she would never want for anything, that she would never suffer the way her mother had.
It felt so different now. But then, didn't everything?
With a sad smile, she noticed that Regina's hair had indeed fallen over her face- even short like it was, it still seemed to have that habit. Hesitantly, she reached out to brush it away. To her amazement, the hair moved. She had moved it. She had touched it.
Cora reached out again, brushing her hand over Regina's cheek. It didn't phase through. She was touching her baby girl. She couldn't feel her, but there was a still a sense that this was something solid, something real.
In her sleep, Regina seemed to lean into the touch. Cora felt her chest well up with emotion, and tears once again began to fall.
"I love you, Regina, my darling girl," she whispered. "And I'll never leave your side."
In her dreams, Regina heard, and she smiled.
