My First Fan fiction story! I've read a lot of fan fiction stories and I thought I would right a story myself. So review and favorite my story (: Oh and I'm looking for a Beta. So if your interested message me (:

See I'm circling these patterns

Living out of memories

I' still a long way from accepting it

That there is just no you and me

~I Can't Break It Into My Heart By Delta Goodrem

Chapter 1: I Can't Break It To My Heart

Its been an agonizing two years waiting for him come back. Starring out my window waiting. I've spent two years of nothing. Alice checks in every few weeks. We talk on the phone, she emails me frequently, sends me pictures of them, Christmas cards, birthday cards and valentine's day cards. Emmett has been my valentine for two years. He took me out for dinner and a movie. Made me laugh and cry when he told me about Edward. It breaks my heart when they visit and have to leave. I'll never get used to it.

Jacob and I talk sometimes, but he is mostly with his pack. I'm not allowed to see him ever since Sam figured out that Jacob told me about him being a werewolf. But we still talk.

Angela finally convinced me to go to collage with her. I've been going t school to be kindergarten teacher. I really didn't think of what I wanted to be when I was in high school. Because I was hoping I would be with the love of my existence and be an immortal. I realized that he wasn't going to come back and that I needed to have job so I didn't have to rely on Charlie to pay the bills and take care of me. I needed a place to stay and I needed a job. Angle and I applied for a small collage in Forks. So we could stay close to the people we loved. I like that we had the same feelings on staying close to our parents. Alice texted me and told me that she was coming to visit me and Angela. Alice's visits were becoming less frequent. She has told me that it wasn't in my best interest that she visited me often. I would break down and cry at the thought she would leave me. I couldn't handle it.

Alice and Angel became best friends. Who wouldn't want to be friends with Alice? Alice was Alice. Beautiful, smart, and funny. I was glade that we all could hang out together. Some times Emmett would come with her. I was grateful that I had such good friends. I don't know what I would do with out them.

"Alice is here!" Angela yelled.

"Coming!" I yelled back. I pulled a shirt over my tank and pulled my hair up.

"Bella!" Alice squealed as she pulled me into a hug. I was breathing in as much of her sent has a I could. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too. Always." I said sadly.

Alice frowned.

"We all miss you." She said sadly.

"Yeah." I said sadly.

"Have you eaten today?" Alice said angrily. "Don't lie. Cause I know the answer."

"Not really." I said refusing to look into her eyes. I miss the golden brown eyes I used to love.

"Bella you know you can't take your medicine tonight if you don't eat." Angela said worriedly. I have terrible night mares. Angela couldn't take my screaming so I went to the doctor. He gave me some sleeping medication it helped with the sleeping but I still have night mares.

"I know, I know. I'll eat later." I promised.

"Have you herd anything from..." I trailed off suggestively.

"He checked in yesterday." She said watching me carefully. "No he isn't back." She said guessing what I was thinking

"Oh." I said sadly.

"Bella." Angela said pulling me down onto the couch."You have to let him go. Just like I had to do with Ben."

Angela walked in on Ben and some whore making out. Angela looked like me for a week at the most. I knew that they weren't in love. She would have tried to make it work. If I had the chance to make it work with Edward. I would ave tried my damnedest to make it work. I would have went through hell and back for him. If I could just see him one time. That's all I want. If I had to give up my arms and legs just to be with him one more day. I would give up everything just to see him again.

"She's right, Bella." Alice agreed.

"He can never be replaced. No one can ever replace him." I sobbed into my hands.

"You have too." Angela tried to sooth me.

"You two have never had this happen to you!" I yelled. "I love him! I love him! I would give up my life for his. I would give up everything just for one more day with him. But he doesn't care. He doesn't love me. I'm not good enough for him." I said sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shh its okay."Alice tried to sooth me. "Angela go get here something to eat so she can take her medicine, please." Alice gave Angela a dazzling smile.

Angela came back with crackers and my medicine. "Thanks." I mumbled.

I ate my crackers and took my pills. I laid my head on Alice's lap while she combed through my hair. How could I breathe with my lungs? How could I live with out my heart? The medicine kicked in and I fell into a deep sleep.

A/N: Hate it Like it? Review and message me about being a beta for my story or stories (: