The Wedding That Went Wrong
Disclaimer: I do now own any of these character, however, I do own a copy of the game Super Smash Bros. Melee. Don't we all?
Note: Okay, I apologize in advance if any of the characters are out of character. After all, all I have to go by is a fighting game. I only used characters that I found a place for (Mr. Game & Watch, unfortunately, is two-dimensional and incredibly hard to put in this story) and I used what I know to give them their personalities. Oh, and Young Link is missing from this and Dr. Mario is now combined with the real Mario. No telling how long this will go, it all depends on how many people will read it.
Chapter one: The WeddingToday was the day. Link and Zelda were finally going to marry after having to wait so long due to Link's heroic journeys. Zelda was in a white dress not unlike the one she normally wears and Link was wearing a black version of what he always wears.
Zelda was waiting impatiently near the church entrance for Link, clutching the white roses in a death grip. Link then appeared in the distance running as fast as he could under the heavy shield and sword secured to his back. Zelda yelled, "You're late!"
Link finally arrived at the church and caught his breath before saying, "Sorry…big dragon problem…the villagers needed help…"
Zelda scolded, "Yeah right…and I told you to leave those at home!" pointing the sword and shield on Link's back.
Link replied, "Sorry! I didn't have time to take them off! Anyway, what if we get attacked? I'd be helpless!"
Zelda commented, "Don't tell me you brought your bombs, too."
Link didn't respond and looked away fiddling with his hair. Zelda said hotly, "You did! What if they go off!"
Link defended, "Hey, after 10 years of carrying them around…"
Zelda added, "And nearly killing yourself with them…"
Link continued, "You'd think I was an expert when it came to explosives."
Zelda said coldly, "Need I remind you about the motion detector bomb incident?"
Link blushed a violent red. Zelda replied, "Okay then."
The wedding ceremony had reached the point where the couple had to walk in the church. Zelda then smiled and said, "Well, never mind that. Soon we'll be married and everything will be perfect."
Link smiled back and Zelda got a more secure grip on the roses and fixed her hair a bit before walking inside where all their friends were.
Earlier…Fox was sitting in the middle left hand corner in a suit. Fox was in his suit because Zelda requested (more like threatened) him to wear one, however, he did bring his laser.
Ness was in a black tuxedo and looked very uncomfortable with his now missing cap.
Pikachu thought this was a some sort of a big birthday party and wore his blue party hat with the white stars. Pikachu was so excited about the wedding that nobody had the heart to tell him he was wearing the wrong thing.
Mario and Peach were sitting together, Mario in a suit and Peach in her normal dress.
Luigi invited Daisy and she showed up in a frilly dress. She kept shifting uncomfortably, obviously not used to the frills.
Mario silently commented, "I hope this wedding doesn't take too long, I have an appointment with a patient in 1 hour…"
Peach shushed him and Mario consented quickly, afraid of getting on her bad side. Daisy, meanwhile was silently complaining, "Why'd I have to go where this stupid dress? It has too many frills and lace! Oh, why didn't I just wear my normal dress? It's too hot…"
She continued to grumble and Luigi held his tongue. She didn't shut up until Donkey Kong turned around and his big, ugly face was in hers. She then trembled fearfully until D.K. turned around again. She let out a big sigh and held her tongue, suddenly unaware of how uncomfortable her dress was.
D.K. was wearing his best tie, his red one with his initial on it, which was too big for him. He invited his nephew, Diddy Kong who didn't know it was a wedding and showed up in his usual red t-shirt and cap. Ness threw a jealous glance at Diddy's hat.
Even earlier…Marth and Roy were in the back talking. They were both in black tuxedos and were complaining at the beginning of the ceremony about how helpless they would be if a enemy would attack before they both accidentally revealed their swords, which they smuggled in.
Roy was bragging, "My sword is bigger than yours!" before Zelda showed up beside them and knocked their heads together harshly, leaving them unconscious in a pile on the floor until they woke up a bit later with little idea of what happened.
Afterward they started discussing how boring weddings were. Roy concluded, "I'd rather be fighting in a war than watching this."
Marth asked, "So why'd you come?"
Roy responded, "Nothing else to do."
Go back even further…Samus Aran came in early and left the robot suit made by the bird people under her chair, in case of attack. She left until more of the guests arrived. When Peach arrived with Mario, Luigi, and Daisy Peach waved and then said, "Hi Samus!"
Samus waved back at Peach. She then took her seat and started reading. Moments later Roy and Marth had arrived and took note of her. Roy asked, "Who's that?" pointing toward Samus.
Peach replied, "That's Samus. You remember her, don't you?"
They gave Samus a second glance before exclaiming, "You're a girl!"
Samus was extremely offended and yelled, "Of course I'm a girl!"
Marth and Roy then stood there confused while she walked away. Roy commented, "You know, she is pretty under all that armor…"
Samus overheard and looked away as if she was offended, yet a blush was faintly visible on her cheeks.
Go forward in time to first earlier…
Kirby was sitting in a seat trying to avoid being sat on. Earlier, he had sat down on a bench and D.K. sat down on top of Kirby unknowingly. He then noticed and pried the 4 inch pink ball off his butt and flicked him away. Kirby then spent the next 25 minutes washing himself in the sink getting ride of the offending smell.
Captain Falcon was polite and respectful and showed up in a suit, yet underneath it all was his hero costume and under the seat was his visor, provided he ever needed to fight.
Despite his politeness, he kept talking to the Ice Climbers, who were sitting next to him, Nana in a dress and Popo in a suit, "So are you two going out or something?"
The Ice Climbers nodded. Captain Falcon then said, "Don't you find it weird though, I mean, going out with your sibling?"
Popo and Nana said at once, "We're NOT related!"
Captain Falcon responded, "Yeah, but you two look so much alike it's scary. Sure you aren't, like, twins separated at birth or something?"
Nana and Popo then sulked. Roy, who had moved from the back to the bench in front of them with Marth, said, "Yeah, you two do look alike…"
Nana and Popo then, if possible, looked even more sulky.
Yoshi was in the very front row, away from Pikachu who continuously tried to jump on his back and ride him despite being eaten by Yoshi several hundred times. Pikachu finally stopped, but only after shocking the poor Yoshi half to death. Yoshi was wearing a red bow tie around his long neck.
Jigglypuff, who was wearing a blue ribbon, was sulking in a very similar manner to Nana and Popo when refused the opportunity to sing for the reception party. Pikachu attempted to cheer Jigglypuff up until she hit him hard with a double slap that would've put Sango to shame (Inuyasha reference, for those who don't know). Pikachu then walked away seeing stars, which isn't to surprising since Jigglypuff finished up the slap with pulling Pikachu's pointy party hat over his nose. Pikachu got back to his seat and put the hat back on the right way.
Now we return to the present…Bowzer, who only showed up for the free food, was showing his amazing talent for playing the piano that astounded everyone. They then let him stay, only if he didn't cause trouble or try to kidnap Peach again. He then started playing "Here Comes the Bride" and Zelda and Link walked the isle.
Zelda could be heard whispering angrily to Link, "See, everyone else showed up in suits!"
Link commented, "The monkeys didn't. Nor did the strange animals."
Zelda whispered, "You're not a monkey or a strange animal! If you were, I wouldn't be marrying you!"
This bickering continued down the isle and when they reached about where Nana, Popo, and Captain Falcon were sitting Captain Falcon silently commented, "See? Fighting already! They're perfect for each other!"
Nana said, "You aren't supposed to fight all the time in a relationship, you're supposed to love each other and get along!"
Captain Falcon whispered, "Shut up, incest twins."
Nana and Popo then continued to sulk.
Zelda and Link reached the alter where they continued to bicker. The priest then cleared his voice softly and the two ignored him. He then cleared his voice loudly and the two instantly shut up.
The priest then said, "Well, now that you two have stopped arguing we can begin this holy matrimony." The priest looked around at the guests and said under his breath, "Strange family…some aren't even human…"
Zelda then said while the priest was preoccupied with the guests, "Well, this is it."
Link commented, "Yes it is. And to think you didn't even let me have a bachelor party…"
Zelda said, "Well sorry if I didn't want some strange women dancing naked in front of my fiancé."
Link sighed and said, "That wouldn't have happened…" Zelda interrupted him with a snort and said, "Well, at least when this wedding is over with we can enjoy ourselves since you don't have to go on anymore journeys to save every single country that needs saving…"
Link said, "Well…"
Zelda asked, "Well what?"
Link gulped and said, "I actually do have a journey after this…I have to take care of this monster that's threatening the land of…"
Zelda didn't even let him finish before screeching out, "What!"
That brought the priest back to Earth and was looking at the couple he was supposed to be marrying now currently fighting. The fighting was, however, looking rather one sided…
Zelda was yelling, "I can't believe you! We are about to enter the most important chapter of our entire lives and you are going to go off and risk your neck for some strangers you don't even know! I can understand saving Hyrule, or saving some mystery place in your dreams…"
Link was suddenly reminded of his affair with another woman in the dream land and had a sudden thought, "Why didn't I just stay there…"
Meanwhile Zelda was continuing, "…but I can't understand why you are going off to the…the land of pink bunnies to save them from becoming victims of the…the chocolate machine!"
Pikachu, who for some reason was about to eat a chocolate bunny looked down at the thing and said in his own language, "Oh, I'm sorry, victim of the chocolate machine. I shall never eat another chocolate bunny again…instead I'll eat marshmallow peeps!"
Link then suddenly said, "Hey, that reminds me of one of my first adventures when I entered the Dark World and I turned into a pink bunny until I got the moon pearl…"
Zelda had suddenly grown fangs out of nowhere and was shouting, "I don't care!" Link was suddenly looking at her fearfully.
Suddenly, the fangs disappeared and she collapsed into tears. She was sobbing pitifully and saying, "Why do you keep doing this? You are so inconsiderate!"
Roy then said openly, "What a drama queen. Can we hurry it up with the wedding already? I'm already sick of this suit."
The priest was thinking along the same lines apparently, because he was watching his watch and tapping his foot impatiently.
Mario looked at his watch and said, "Shoot, it's 1:00! If this keeps up I'm going to be late for the appointment!" Peach hit him for being inconsiderate.
While these individuals were complaining the rest were taking sides, most being on Link's side. Pikachu, however, was crying. Everyone (well, all the girls anyway) except Jigglypuff thought he was being sensitive and crying because the couple were fighting. He was actually crying for all the chocolate bunnies he'd eaten in the past without considering the possibility (however ridiculous) that they might have been real bunnies at one point.
Link, meanwhile, was trying to comfort the troubled princess. She, however, turned on him, saying, "I can't believe you! Why did you have to arrange a mission when you knew that we were going to be marrying soon?"
Link said, "I didn't arrange it! They came to me and well…you know me. I can't let them down."
Zelda said, "But why? Why you have to go and go off on an adventure? Can't you take me along?"
Link said, "Oh, no. You can't come because I can't risk you getting hurt."
This did it. Zelda looked at him viciously and yelled, "Oh, I'll show you hurt! I'll teach you to think you can leave me behind!"
Zelda suddenly turned into her alter ego, Sheik, and Link yelled, "Couldn't we just be reasonable?"
Sheik then started gathering nails to throw at him and Link quickly pulled out his shield and blocked the incoming nails just in time. They bounced off the shield and scattered harmlessly across the room, though one narrowly missed Pikachu's hat. Pikachu looked up and said in his language, "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" apparently egging them on.
Mario was looking up at the feuding couple and said, "At least I'm not getting married…" suddenly scared of going through the ritual he previously thought was harmless.
Link was scrambling around, trying to talk sense into Sheik and avoid having to resort to force. Bowzer had abandoned his post at the piano and was cowering behind a bench. Fox was watching intently at the fight and Marth said, "He had to annoy the crazy one…"
Peach, a friend of Zelda's, yelled, "She isn't crazy!"
Mario said, "Now, Now there. No reason to get upset…"
Peach yelled at him, "Shut up, Mario! This doesn't concern you!"
Luigi snickered at his brother who had been yelled at and mouthed the word, "Whipped"
To everyone. Mario made a particularly rude hand sign back at Luigi. (You guess which one.) Marth as well as a few other guys (especially Roy) started laughing.
Peach went over to the laughing Marth and slapped him. Marth looked up at her and took out his sword. Mario then tried to yell some sense into the ex-prince, "Now hold on! You could kill her with that thing!"
Peach got out her parasol from thin air and wielded that. Mario collapsed back into the chair and watched as Marth and Peach fought, apparently embarrassed that Peach thought a parasol could match evenly for a sword. Well, she was right because the two were fairly even, mainly because the tuxedo was hard to move around in.
With all the fighting going on, soon almost everyone got into the spirit and started going at each other. Captain Falcon ripped off his suit and put on his visor. Samus had just put on her robot suit and looked genderless again. Yoshi just sprung into battle, as did Kirby, Pikachu, and D.K.
Diddy Kong managed to sneak out of the church and was waiting for the action to cool down inside, as did Mario, and Luigi. Luigi's date, Daisy, was too much of a tomboy to turn down a fight and had took off her dress (Roy whistled jokingly until Peach went over and slapped him) and revealed a t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans and was ready to fight.
Bowzer had just waited up there with the dumbstruck priest. The two looked at each other, shrugged, and turned to look at the brawl again. Jigglypuff joined them in watching the fight.
Meanwhile…Ganondorf, the evil fiend from Hyrule, sole man born to the Gerudo tribe in a hundred years, third recipient of the Triforce's power, was heading toward the church. He was talking to himself, saying, "I shall finally destroy Link and Zelda while they are at their weakest point!"
He then laughed maniacally, causing quite a few passerby's to stare. When he arrived at the church's entrance, Diddy Kong warned, "You don't want to go in there, it's not pretty."
Ganondorf replied, "Silence, you…strange…clothed…talking monkey…you!"
Diddy responded, "Whatever. I'm still saying it isn't pretty."
Mario then said as Ganondorf walked inside, "I think that guy's evil."
Luigi said sarcastically, "What was your first clue?"
Ganondorf walked into the church and closed the door. Bowzer, who didn't want to be beat up again horribly by the evil guy, hid behind a bench in a horribly failed attempt to hide himself. Ganondorf looked around blankly at the crowd of fighting people (along with the non-human things) and they finally took notice of him.
Somebody asked, "Who invited him?"
Since it was a high voice yet not really female, it was most likely Kirby. Anyway the whole mob then started to advance on the, now frightened Ganondorf. (and reasonably so, he had been originally beaten by Zelda and Link alone, and here is a whole bunch of other characters, including them.)
Ganondorf said, backing into the door, "Okay, I know I'm not one for fairness, but aren't you being a little unreasonable? This isn't fair!"
Pikachu was yelling out in his own language, "Kill the umpire!" stupidly, apparently still affected by the double slap which must've knocked the sense out of him. The group apparently got the gist of it, because they approached Ganondorf all in fighting stances.
Ganondorf, who decided that words were now meaningless, choose to end this fight the old fashioned way: fighting. He punched and kicked, however, he was slower than the rest of the group which proceeded to beat him up.
Jigglypuff then had a brilliant idea! She was so intent on singing at the wedding reception and it was denied to her, yet nobody was going to stop her so she stood on top of the podium and pulled out her marker/microphone. She then took a deep breath, inflating while she was doing it, and then started singing.
One by one, the fighters began to collapse to the ground. The smallest and closest were first to go, then the next group. The last to fall asleep was Ganondorf who, miraculously, didn't land on anybody.
Jigglypuff noticed the lack of movement and sound and thought they were all watching her. She opened her eyes and saw that everyone was in a deep slumber. She puffed up in anger and took the cap off her marker/microphone and started drawing on the people's faces. She went outside and noticed that Mario was gone (he needed to get to his appointment in time) and Luigi along with Diddy were asleep. She then drew on their faces and dragged them inside.
She then sat on one of the benches, waiting for them to come to.
Okay, what did you think? Yeah, Zelda is annoying. Plus controlling. Link fangirls who read this must be having a royal fit at the way Link responded to Zelda's treats. Not there should be any, considering that they pretty much can't take Link being with anyone other then themselves. (No offense to fangirls, a lot of my friends are one of them. Truthfully though, I'm not and will set up characters as I wish.)
Link and Mario are, well, whipped in a manner of speaking and I think I know that Nana and Popo aren't related. They just look so much alike it's, well, scary! I don't know if they're an item either. It's just something that came to me.
Roy is most likely out of character, but I wanted somebody to be the clown and he seems to be the type to do it! After all, could you imagine Fox doing some of the stuff Roy did? Roy seems to have the look of a potential clown but I know that he's been in wars almost all his life and so must be hardened emotionally. Of course in a comedy you have no place for characters like that unless you wish them to be put in the company of crazy characters who shall be unrelenting in their effort to make him conform to their will.
Hopefully you followed the time system okay…it was worse before I revised it because it just jumped around time randomly with no indication to the point were you would probably need a timeline to get the events in order. Next chapter will be in order though, so if you didn't get it this time it's alright.
