Title

Print: Randomness-is-Awsomeness (Emma)

Italics: YuuYuu-chan (Katie)

Underlined: undefined (not a member on fanfic)

A/N- Okay, this is another random story me and YuuYuu-chan randomly wrote. This time, the two of us had gotten together at another one of our friends' house. It was written at four in the morning because YuuYuu-chan and I couldn't sleep for the life us and we were bored. Eventually, the undefined friend woke up and she joined in. We passed the paper around in a circle, each adding to the story with no idea how it would turn out. We didn't get to finish it because we fell asleep, but YuuYuu-chan and I continued it a few weeks later. When you see , that's when we fell asleep. Everything after that is the continuation (which was written while we were unbelievably bored. So that's probably also going to sound ridiculous).

WARNING- this fic has mild language and quite a bit of sexual content, including the mention of sex change, being gay, and many other things, along with the mention of lemons. And it's very OOC.

SO HERE WE GO!

One day, Tamaki decided that Haruhi was the wrong gender. He would much prefer if she was male, like Kyouya. However, Kyouya had already found the one person he loved more than anyone: himself. Every day in the mirror, he would gaze at himself and think…

"No wonder why Tamaki tried to hump me yesterday. I'm HOT!"

Haruhi was not amused. But she couldn't help that she wished SHE was the one being humped.

Maybe she should consider that gender-change Tamaki was talking about.

This was a random thought, so she randomly turned to the person sitting next to her, who happened to be the innocent Honey, and asked "Do you think I would look hot with a penis?"

Honey licked his lips. "Oh, I don't know sweet cakes. How about we find out?"

"Ok!" she replied.

"Tamaki!" Haruhi exclaimed as said prince strutted up in all his fine, princely glory. "What is it my darling daughter?"

"Why do I have to be your daughter? Why not your wife? What's wrong with me being your girlfriend? Hell, I'll even be your hooker!" she yelled before running out of the room with tears streaming down her face.

"PMS much?" Tamaki muttered as she ran out.

But suddenly, Tamaki felt as if time had all stopped, like the meanings of life had all been answered.

He realized that it was time for him to propose to Kyouya. Being friends was now impossible. Their feelings were much too strong to hold back. Well, Tamaki's were, at least.

While Tamaki rushed to get a ring, Kyouya was busy counting bills as we speak.

While looking through them, he finally found the answer to a problem that wouldn't leave him alone all day. He finally remembered the number to the newest Victoria's Secret!

He could finally buy that new pair of lingerie for himself that was on sale. It had the cutest, little frills! And he couldn't WAIT to get Brittany Spears newest scent of perfume. He just couldn't stand regular cologne. It made him feel manlier, and he most certainly wanted to feel anything but. For what reason we do not know, but Kyouya will be Kyouya. And Kyouya is anything but manly.

That's why he KNEW he had to get that new dress he saw Taylor Swift wearing. It was GORGEOUS! He tried it and it fit his girly figure perfectly. It was a small price to pay; one thousand forty three dollar was nothing to a rich, gay, and narcissistic man. And NO ONE refuses a rich GAY man of anything. Be it lovers or over-obsessive Taylor Swift items, he always got it. He couldn't possibly see why ANYONE wouldn't love him. In fact, if it was legal, he would propose to himself and reply "YES!" in a very girly shriek. But unfortunately, that wasn't possible. He was stuck with Kyouga, the bitch that she is.

Kyouya paused. Who was Kyouya again? Who said anything about 'she'?

And then he remembered what he had originally meant to do: he was on his way to get a gender change. He is going to exchange his penis and broad chest for a vagina and two beautiful breasts.

While in the waiting room for surgery, he spotted a familiar boy-looking girl nervously poling her fingers together. "What is Haruhi doing here?" He quickly pushed the thought and instead started to think about how pretty he was finally going to be.

But then he realized that he could never be prettier. He only wanted the gender-change so that he could have the result of his and Tamaki's love running all around the house. But just then, an image of little kids breaking his beauty kit completely destroyed the possibility of children in his house. EVER! He quickly walked out the front door, calling in to cancel his appointment. "Oh well," he said. He instead went on another shopping spree and bought shoes and a purse to match the dress he got.

When he saw himself in the mirror, he KNEW that Zack Effron would be so jealous if he was to see him at that moment, due to how sexy he was and how he would instantly get a boner.

In fact, he could feel one coming on right now due to his reflection. He enjoyed the feeling so much he did the chicken dance.

Therefore, he didn't care how much it cost (he still wouldn't have cared, though). He was buying that dress. But he didn't expect it to be Mori working at the cash register. With one look at his item, he blushed and uncomfortably shifted. It was obvious that Mori was somehow turned on by just the thought. And that turned Kyouya on.

"Your place or mine?" Mori asked in what he KNEW was a seductive voice.

"Why don't we do it right now?" Kyouya suggested.

Mori looked down at his watch. "I should have time before doing- I mean visiting Honey.Let's go."

Before you could blink, they were crammed into the dressing rooms and started doing it when Honey walked in.

After a few seconds of shocked silence, Honey said, "I had a dream about this a few nights ago. I hated it when I woke up. We were getting to the good part!"

Kyouya smirked. "Want to join?"

Honey excitedly jumped up and down while clapping his hands. But once he had calmed down a bit, he asked, "Can I call some of my other friends so I can see if they want to join?"

Mori bent down to Honey's level and replied, "If that is what you wish, master."

Honey gasped. "You talked! You actually said something! Are you feeling okay?"

Kyouya also gasped. Mori's voice was so much sexier than he expected. The deep tones went perfectly with his manly exterior.

Before anyone could even blink, Kyouya was pinning Mori to the floor and ravishing him as if he was starving and Mori was an all-you-could-eat buffet.

To say Mori was surprised would be and understatement. Honey inwardly smirked in success and casually slipped out of the dressing room.

As Honey shut the door he unexpectedly ran into what felt like a hard wall, making him fall onto the floor. When he looked up at who he ran into, he found that it was the bitchy Kyouga.

She looked at Honey, appalled. Hearing a bang from inside the dressing room, her eyes widened.

"What on earth was that sound?" She tried to peek around Honey but he kept moving in her way.

After several failed attempts of Kyouga trying to get past Honey, he found himself becoming desperate to get rid of her so that Mori-senpai and Kyouya could fuck in peace. Hoping his idea would work, he stood on his tiptoes, grabbed the collar of her shirt, and forced their lips together.

Kyouga let out a muffled squeal. Honey took advantage of the situation and forced his tongue into her mouth.

She struggled against the small boy. Well, she was pretending, at least. She could easily over-power him, but she was enjoying it too much. But she knew if she let him know she liked what he was doing, she would become the biggest slut in all of Ouran High.

'But would that really be so bad?' she thought. 'I could get a good fuck anytime I want.'

Once she came to that realization, Honey found himself pushed against the wall. One hand was sneaking up his shirt and the other one pulling his jeans off. He hadn't expected her to get turned on, but he also hadn't thought he would get turned on, too.

He had never had sex with a girl. He only ever had sex with other boys. But he decided that when he was done with this hot bitch, he would sit down and straighten out his priorities.

And so they fucked right OUTSIDE the dressing rooms, where everyone could see them. If it wasn't for those security guards, we don't know if those kids' parents would have been happy with all those medical bills they would have to pay for their children's many therapy sessions.

The two were handcuffed and led to two separate police cars. As they were pulled away from each other, they looked over their shoulders and dramatically called each other's names and promised to love each other forever. They tried to do this in slow motion for dramatic effect, but the police wouldn't let them.

After that little episode was over (and the release fine was paid) they continued what they were doing when they were so rudely interrupted in a much safer place. This happened to be the alleyway behind McDonald's.

Well, they started in the alleyway. But once the stray Rottweiler tried to join in, they decided to try the dressing room in the store next to the one that still had Kyouya and Mori fucking in it.

Speaking of Mori and Kyouya, Kyouya's phone rang. "Damn it, Tamaki!" Picking up the phone, he answered, "What is it, Tamaki?"

"MARRY ME! I BEG OF YOU!" Kyouya threw the phone at the wall. He was disgusted. How could Tamaki propose to himself before he did? There was only one thing left to do. His only choice was suicide. He suddenly reached to grab his pants off the floor and grabbed the gun he always secretly carried with him. He pointed it at his head and pulled the trigger. The security guards ran in at the sound, and when they saw Kyouya's lifeless body, they immediately looked at Mori. But Mori decided that nothing was worth the publicity and drama that would come with Kyouya's suicide, not even life. So he also grabbed the gun and killed himself, too. They lived happily forever after in the burning pits of gay hell.

TO BE CONTINUED IN NEXT CHAPTER

ENDING NOTE FROM RANDOMNESS-IS-AWSOMENESS: It took me forever to type this. I just couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculous this is. And if you're wondering if we were also on crack at this time, I honestly don't blame you. But I hope it's not too terribly bad. It's just stupidly ridiculous.

ENDING NOTE FROM YUUYUU-CHAN: Well, Random-chan already covered the crack part already, so I guess I'll just…uh… sit here…yeah. We worked really hard on this (totally lying through my teeth), so I hope you enjoyed this crack…thing.

ENDING NOTE FROM UNDEFINED: No one told me we were posting this until Random-chan asked me to write this note thing. If I had know this would have been posted, I wouldn't have had anything to do with it in the first place. (lol)