Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. I hope that's obvious by now. Title comes from a Foo Fighters song. Great band, great song. If you haven't heard it yet, you should change that.

Warning: This story definitely contains Slash of the Sam/Edwin and Sam/OC variety. I hope you give it a chance.

Chapter One: All My Life

The first person that Sam Macalister ever came out to was his older sister. Not that he'd actually had a choice in the matter, of course. She'd thrown open the closet door and dragged him out kicking and screaming. Well, technically she'd thrown open the bedroom door and seen much more than she'd bargained for.

Sam had been sixteen at the time and still trying to come to terms with the fact that he would rather make out with another guy instead of whatever girl had flirted with him in homeroom. Hell, he'd barely been able to admit to himself that he was gay. It still felt too weird for him to even think the words I'm gay. He knew he was attracted to guys and didn't want to deny who he was, but labeling himself as gay would open up a whole new can of worms that he just wasn't ready to deal with.

It was like the second he labeled himself as gay, he'd be throwing a giant wall up to set himself apart from everyone else. Instead, he told himself that he was what he was. For the time being that was easier to handle and it helped him feel a little less isolated from everyone else around him. Because everyone else was what they were too.

Needless to say, the idea of discussing it with any of his family or friends was, at best, an abstract idea that could possibly maybe happen in a decade or so. Unfortunately fate had other ideas for him.

It was rare that he ever got the house completely to himself. With his parents and four sisters all living under the same roof with him it was actually damn near impossible. But every once in a while the stars aligned and Sam got the house to himself for an afternoon. And like any normal sixteen year old boy, he jumped at the chance to bring his boyfriend home with him.

The minute the front door closed behind Brian, Sam was on him, attacking Brian's lips with his own. Brian let his backpack fall to the floor next to Sam's and returned the kiss full force. After a few minutes, never breaking the kiss, Brian shifted his weight to gently nudge Sam in the direction of the stairs. Almost immediately Sam started unbuttoning Brian's shirt. When he'd freed all the buttons he tugged the shirt off Brian's shoulders, letting it fall to the ground a few feet away from their shoes (when had they kicked those off, anyway?).

Somehow they'd made it up the stairs without tripping and before he really registered it, Brian had Sam pinned up against his bedroom door. Sam was willing to bet there was a clothing trail leading up the stairs because he was certain that both he and Brian had been wearing more clothing just a few moments ago. But he pushed that thought aside. There would be plenty of time to worry about clothes later. Right now he was too busy enjoying every visible inch of Brian's body. He let out a small gasp as Brian's hand started trying to work the zipper on Sam's jeans. Sam pulled one of his hands from Brian's hair and started groping for the doorknob. Once he found it, he wasted no time in pulling Brian in with him.

The rest of that afternoon would be one that changed everything for Sam. He and Brian had just barely drifted off to sleep when Brian's cell phone started chirping his little sister's ring tone. Sam jolted out of his happily sated stupor and nudged Brian so he would answer the damn phone already. Realizing what was going on, Brian leaned over his side of the bed and grabbed his cell phone out of the pocket. Flopping back into bed, he flipped it open.

"Hey Kimmy, what's up?" A minute later he hung up and rolled over so he was facing Sam. "Listen, I've gotta go pick Kimmy up from swim practice. Mom forgot to go get her and she's not answering her phone now so. . ." Brian let his explanation trail off as he stood up and started getting dressed.

Sam groaned.

"Are you mad?"

"No," Sam sighed, his voice muffled by the pillow covering half of his face. It wasn't the first time that Kimmy had had to call Brian to come get her after school. Their mom had an atrocious track record for remembering her kids. "Just disappointed you can't stay longer."

"Me too babe," said Brian, leaning down to kiss Sam once more, determined to make it count. Sam deepened the kiss and wrapped a hand around Brian's neck, pulling the boy closer to him. This kiss was so completely different from their earlier one. While that one had been frenzied and hungry, this one was slow and sensual, both boys tried to make it last as long as possible.

"You're killing me, you know that, right?" Asked Brian as he reluctantly broke away from his boyfriend to finally take a breath. "How am I supposed to leave when you keep kissing me like that?"

Sam smirked but decided to take pity on Kimmy. "Just imagine your poor little sister waiting all alone for you to go get her. Besides, you're hot when you play knight in shining armor."

"Tell that to Kimmy then. To her I'm just a free taxi service."

"Yeah, right after you tell your whole family about us," laughed Sam, knowing that neither of them wanted that to happen anytime soon. "Give me a second to get dressed and I'll walk you out," offered Sam. Growing up, his mother had insisted on teaching all of her children manners and one of her personal favorites had always been the importance of seeing a guest to the door. Needless to say, that habit had been completely ingrained in the five Macalister children since birth. Sam quickly threw on a pair of boxers and zipped his jeans. On their way downstairs he snatched up his t-shirt that had fallen to one of the stairs. With a promise to call that weekend and one last kiss, Sam said goodbye to Brian and turned to make sure that all of his clothing had been picked up from the living room. He definitely did not want to have to explain that to his parents.

"So who's the hottie?"

Sam looked up and sharply drew in a breath. Standing there in the kitchen (with a perfect view of the front door, no less) was his oldest sister.

"Jules?" He squeaked, because that's really all you could call the strangled sound that came from him at the moment he realized he was busted. And there was no doubt that she'd seen everything. "What?" He squeaked again. He'd wanted to ask her what she'd seen but hadn't quite managed to get the full question out. "How much?" He tried again but didn't do much better.

Instead, he just stopped trying to say anything. That clearly wasn't going to work right anyway. Besides, he already had his answer when he took a second to look at his sister, who looked quite distressed. She was biting her lower lip, which was a classic sign for her. And he was almost positive that tears were forming in her eyes, getting ready to spill over at any moment.

"Don't cry, Jules," Sam pleaded. He hated seeing any of his sisters cry and he detested being the reason for those tears, and that was clearly the case here. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and quickly crossed the room to her brother and pulled him into a tight hug.

Sam immediately let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. The minute that Jules hugged him, he knew she was okay with him. He wasn't going to lose her as his sister. He wasn't going to lose his best friend. Hot tears of relief stung at his eyes and before he could stop them, he was crying on his big sister's shoulder. Feeling ridiculous, he furiously wiped at his eyes.

Jules pulled him over to the couch and sat down next to him. "Where's your head at right now?"

"I don't know. All over the place?" Answered Sam after a few minutes. How could he answer that question? He was still trying to process everything that had just happened. How could he explain to her that he was so relieved that his sister knew the truth and wasn't going to disown him, but somehow it scared him so much more now. How could he tell her that he was sick of lying to everyone but it felt like it was the only option he had?

"Are you gay?" She asked, wanting to be one hundred percent sure that they were on the same page.

He nodded ever so slightly. "You can't tell mom and dad. Please," Sam requested softly, locking eyes with his sister and pleading with her with everything he had. He knew that if their parents found out, the best case scenario would end in his getting kicked out of the house. Their dad had flat out told him years ago that that would happen if his only son came home gay. His exact words were "no fairy fags will live under my roof." And Sam was fairly certain that Jules knew that, judging by the steely, angry look in her eyes at the mention of their dad finding out.

"I would never do that to you. I promise. I am on your side. Now listen to me," she ordered, placing one hand on either side of his face to make sure that she had his complete attention. "First of all, I love you. I always have and I always will."

Once more, Sam sighed with relief and pulled Jules into another tight hug, burying his face in her shoulder, causing what he said next to sound quite muffled.

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

"This changes nothing between us. Do you hear me? I don't know what crazy thoughts have been going through you head lately, but we're still us. You're still my partner in crime and I'll love you as much tomorrow as I did yesterday. And I'm right here if you ever need a reminder. Or someone to cover for you with mom and dad," Jules grinned a little impish grin.

"I'll remember that," Sam promised, grinning right back at her. He was never more grateful for the sister that he had than he was at that very moment. She was always able to make him feel better, no matter what. And she knew just what to say to keep things from getting too heavy and serious.

"And promise me that you'll tell Kelly, Tina and Rachel eventually. Not today or tomorrow, but eventually. They deserve to know everything about their big brother and how brave he is."

"Okay," Sam agreed. Truthfully, he wanted them to know the truth. He wasn't ashamed of who he was and he didn't want them to grow up thinking that. He never wanted them to think that there was anything wrong with being gay. But he also knew that his youngest sisters weren't ready to find out yet. Kelly was fourteen and old enough to keep a secret but she would find some way of making it seem like Sam was ruining her life. Tina and Rachel (ten and seven respectively) were just too young to really know how to keep a secret and understand the implications of what would happen if they accidentally let something slip.

Jules pulled Sam against her and the two of them sat like that on the couch for a long time, sometimes talking and sometimes just thinking. Sam told her that he's been seeing Brian for about six months now, but that he wasn't the first guy he'd dated. And Jules had convinced Sam to introduce her to Brian that weekend.

"Are you feeling up to a big family dinner tonight?" She asked him.

"Not without alcohol," he confessed. Over the years he had had to sit through countless dinners with the family where his sisters talked about whatever boy they were interested in that week (hell, even Rachel had announced she had a boyfriend at dinner one night). Inevitably, his dad would raise an eyebrow at him to silently ask him if he had anything to add or his mom would sweetly ask "any girls you're interested in, sweetie?" and instead of being able to talk about his boyfriend like the rest of the family, he'd mumble something about Casey or whichever blonde Derek had set him up with that week. And then he'd hope that he was convincing enough that he'd fooled his parents once again, all the while convinced that later that night his parents were going to come into his room and throw him out because they'd seen through his flimsy lies. It was enough to cause anyone stress. He hadn't actually started drinking to deal with his family, but it was certainly sounding like a better and better idea every time.

"Why don't we get out of here before anyone else gets home and go get a burger or something? If they ask, we went to the library."

"Sounds good," he agreed.

Leer y Responder, por favor!

-MM

Thanks for reading! This is completely new territory for me and so far I'm having fun writing this. I've got a rough outline of what I want to happen but I'm still open to requests so if there's anything you want to see that's just shy of smut, I'll consider it. I'm also playing around with chapter titles so those suggestions would rock too. Next on my list is CH6 of The Place You're In, which is completely outlined already.

Also, if anyone wants to beta this, feel free! Point out any typos you see and I'll hopefully fix them soon. And if you think it's crap, tell me that too. But keep in mind that this is the third draft (where it was heavily rewritten each time) so it could be so much worse!