AN: This is CRUDE humor. I love the LK very much and this is just ideas I've conceived over time. Don't read it if you don't like crude humor. Offensive much? Yes it will be. ;)

I.

Rafiki took the newborn up in his hands.

Nothing could be more precious…

Well, except for weed.

The unusually stone-free monkey lifted the new prince to the sky.

All of the animals cheered.

Just when all seemed well the celebrating turned to collective gasps of horror.

Rafiki looked down to see that… the cub had slipped from his hands.

A high-pitched girly cry came from Queen Sarabi. Mufasa sat motionless with wide eyes.

In the blink of an eye a female elephant snatched the prince out of thin air.

"Oh…" she made a cooing noise and snuggled the little golden cub close.

He focused his eyes before giving her a lick.

Then, he smacked his tongue.

The elephant looked at him in concern.

As soon as the cub was returned to a stone-still Rafiki he turned awkwardly with the cub in his arms and gave him to his mother who took him graciously. The monkey walked off.

Sarabi snuggled her offspring before noticing her husband.

"Mufasa."

He didn't respond… he only stood there with the same expression as before.

"Mm. Mm." She tried to shove her son into her husband's paws.

Mufasa finally looked down, gasped and cuddled his son close.

"My baby… MY BABY!"

Sarabi could only then give the audience watching a bizarre look.

Elsewhere, an unemployed monkey would be getting hammered.

To be continued…

~ Lavenderpaw ~