#ONESHOT-001
Title: Sing Me To Sleep (revised-version)
Edited by: Jocose
I've never thought of watching the love of my life cradling happily our three month old daughter Emily while laying on the hospital bed with so many machine around us, for her to... live. I felt my tears fell from my eyes so I looked away to hide it and stroke it away from my face.
Then suddenly, I heard her coughed and I jumped off my seat and ran towards her.
"Babe, Chloe are you okay- shit." I cussed when I saw a blood on her oxygen. I immediately took Emily from her and called the doctor and as they came, they immediately took care of Chloe. I can't bear seeing her like that so I went out of the room. It's not that too long when the doctor came out and nodded at me.
"She's okay now but Mrs. Mitchell, I need to talk to you later about your wife." He said with a hint of sadness but I shrugged it off.
I don't know what he means and I will never be ready of anything he will say.
.
[10 months ago..]
.
I return home from a long night shift at the station, it's dark here inside the living room and no sign of my wife so I let myselfin knowing Chloe might be sleeping. I always feel bad leaving Chloe to spend these nights lonely on her own, but even more lately. Chloe and I decided to have a baby after 7 years of being together and another 3 years of marriage so I need to pay so much money for our sperm donor we got so I need to work a little harder for us to get a baby.
For the past 6 months, we've been trying to have a baby but nothing seems to be happening. The doctor reassured Chloe that nothing is wrong with her and that seems to just be taking so long than to be expected. But yet she chooses to blame herself, and this week, she's been particularly distant and out of herself.
I drop my bag off the floor and took my shoes off and immediately tip toe to the bedroom to find Chloe wide awake and just staring at somewhere nothing in particular, eyes red from crying.
Something is definitely not right.
I climbed on the bed, gently pulling her closer on my side. She put her head on my shoulder as I heard her sobs. I held her chin up to face me and I saw the sadness on her most of the time bubbly blue eyes. I looked at her intently.
"Chloe, baby, what's wrong?" I gently asked. She just bit her bottom lip to contain her sobs before hugging me and cried out loud. "Please baby tell me what's wrong.." I added as I rubbed her back.
Then her sobs stopped and I looked at her in confusion as she pulled away. She wiped her tears away and chuckled, "I'm fine." She muffles that made me frown hard. I don't believe in any word she said. I breath heavily before speaking, maybe I need to lose patience sometimes.
"Do you think I'm going to believe that?" I asked trying not to yell. "Chloe. I come home to see that you've been crying and you'd expect me to believe you're fine?" I almost growl and let my voice seems to be also in despair. Chloe begins to cry again. I sighed. "Look Chloe, I can't help you if you didn't tell me what's wrong.." I whispered onto her eyes, trying to calm her down.
"Beca." She cracked. "There's something wrong but you have nothing to do with that. No one can help me." Chloe splutters out.
"Baby you can tell me anything, you know that. I love you no matter what." I reassured her.
"Beca, I-I'm.. I uhm." Chloe stuttered as she tried to calm down.
"You what Chlo?"
"I'm pregnant." She blurted out as she burst out of crying again. I held her face to face me.
"Chloe that's a great news!" I said in a very enthusiast way but it is so soon wiped off my face as I noticed Chloe still crying. "Why are you crying baby?" Concern fills my voice once again. She exhales and kissed my hand.
"When I got to the doctor I did some blood test taken and.. they think that.. I have a cancer Beca.. leukaemia."
And right in that moment, I felt the world turns against me. My happiness shattered and heart ripped out.
[PRESENT DAY]
.
I'm here at the doctor's front desk. I'm so nervous so I let my child with my bestfriend and Chloe's also bestfriend, Aubrey.
As the doctor came my heart's pace increase and anytime I think I will possibly had an heart attack.
"Hi Mrs. Mitchell." He greeted. I just looked at him. "Do you want me to take it slow or get in to the point?" I looked down on my fidgeting fingers over my lap. By the tone of his voice and use of his words, I know it's a bad new.
And I don't need to be so clueless. I need right away.
"Get into the point." I coldly said without looking at him after letting out a heavy sigh. My heart sink the possibilities.
"You know Chloe's already in life support right and some of her organs already failed and that's the only thing that's keeping her alive-
"P-Please.." I cracked. "..get into the point." I cut him off as my tears fell again. I firmly shut my eyes but why the fuck my tears still falling?!
"We can't keep your wife and life support forever.. it has to be turned off Beca."
"What? No. You can't do that," I said finally looking at him. "She's my wife, my world, my everything! And I'm ready to pay everything just to keep her alive!"
He stared at me for a few seconds before speaking again. "But Chloe." The doctor paused. "She already gave up. She wants to stop the machine."
And that's the moment I officially cried in front of him. I don't want anyone to see me at this moment of vulnerability but I can't help it. My hands squeezing my thighs in fury. "N-No. We have a daughter to bring up together.."
"Beca. She's tired."
"I'm also tired! I'm also tired of fucking working for her not to leave me! But.. fuck." I covered my face as I cried.
"She told me earlier. She's tired of the pain Beca."
"Me too. But I never.. I never complain.." I cried my lungs out before rushing to the door. I saw Aubrey but I ignored her. I wiped all the tears on my face and walked lifelessly towards Chloe's room.
I love her so much.
I love her so much that I do anything for her.
Anything she wants.
Why she can't give me the only thing I want..
I wiped the last drop of my tears on my face before entering the room with a smile.
I saw Chloe's eyes immediately looked at me. I closed the door and walked towards her. I sat beside her and took her hand with a dextrose. I leaned on it and kissed it.
"I love you." I said and feel her hand on my cheek. I exhaled. I know she's staring at me and I don't want her to see my eyes red from crying so I firmly close my eyes.
"Beca." She called after few seconds. "Please look at me. I want you to look at me." and without hesitation, I looked at her. "I love you too." Then.. that's it. I cried. I held her hand tight over my face.
"But why Chloe?" I said between my sobs. "I told you to stay.. that's the only thing I want Chloe. W-Why can't you give me that?"
"Baby.." She held my face with her cold hand. "I'm so s-sorry." Then I heard her cry. I immediately sat beside her.
"Please.. don't cry." I frantically said. "Okay." I sighed while trying to wipe her tears. My tears are still falling on her. "Just give me.. give me one more week or three days if it's too much. Chloe.. p-please. Please.." I cried on her hands.
"One week baby.." she wiped my tears as she also cried.
"I'm sorry baby that.. I- I'm so selfish. I'm sorry-
"Beca. Stop. Please. Let's.. just enjoy the rest of my life." She said in a very calm voice and lead me towards her arms and rest me there.
"After that.. What will I do next? How can I enjoy the rest of my life without you?" I cried and she just pulled me closer to her.
"Emily needs you. You need to be strong for her." She ran her hands on my hair. "I didn't bring her to the world Beca to make her suffer from you, okay?" She chuckled that made me smile while crying.
"Okay." I only said.
"Promise me." She demand. She's still demanding as ever. I rolled my eyes.
"Promised."
"Really?" She asked skeptically. I looked at her and she's smiling all the way.
"I always promise to you anything Chloe and I never failed anything." I smug and kissed her cheek.
"Then promise me again one thing."
"What is it?"
"Sing me to sleep."
"W-What do you mean?"
"Sing me to sleep everyday until you finally decided to turn off that life support."
I exhaled before answering. "I promised."
.
.
[A week later..]
.
The day had come for Chloe's life support to be switched off, the week had gone too fast in my opinion, with Chloe making a memory box containing videos, letters and photos for Emily so she would know who her wonderful mom was. Sometimes, she puked blood but she remained on ignoring it, for me. I saw the pain but I ignore it when she told me to ignore it since she came here. The rest of the week spent together as a family.
Which I wish not stop and come to an end.
I sat watching Chloe with her final goodbyes to an infant Emily like she'll understand everything Chloe will say to her.
"You be good to momma, okay?" Chloe whispered as tears forming in her eyes. "And don't you ever forget that I love you. I will always be looking down on you my angel." She said and kissed our daughter's forehead. I heard our parents and friends crying but I ignored it. I need to be strong. Like what Chloe told me.
I instictly walked towards the both of them and hugged them as tight as possible. I never want to let them go.
I need to accept that the time is over and I had to call our parents to pick up Emily from Chloe so they could say also goodbyes.
"We're going to miss you darling." Her mom said while crying. Her father comforting her mom while crying too.
"I'm going to miss you too.." she croaked back and looked away. "Please. Take Emily away befote it gets any harder." Chloe said her last goodbyes to Emily as her mom picked her up and headed to the door.
.
.
[That Evening 1am]
.
The final few hours were somewhat peaceful as we laid in silence but it was a nice silence, and I finally understand the meaning of the quote, 'if you love someone, you should set them free' I knew that I had to do.
"Are you ready?" Chloe asked hesitantly in my arms. She's so pale.
"I will never be ready on this Chloe." I fake chuckled. I moved her closer to me and looked at her eyes. It's watering.
"Please don't make it-
"Just kidding. Of course I'm ready." I keep myself from cracking or anything that will make Chloe cry. I want to make her happy for the last time. I smiled and kissed her hand before sitting up. Still holding her hand. "Chloe you know that you're thr best thing that happened to me, right?" I paused and gulped every sob that attempting to out. "I wouldn't be who I am right now without you. I want to thank you for bringing our wonderful daughter into the world, and making me the happiest woman in the world. I will always love you." I held her tight.
"Beca, you are my everything, my rock and the best thing that's ever been mine. I'll always be looking down on you and Emily. Please... be strong for me." I nodded. "And always remember that I always love you until my last breath."
I leaned closer to her to capture her lips. I placed one last deep kiss into her lips before picking up my laptop on the chair beside the machine. I start to play the instrumental version of this song I was dedicated to Chloe when we're in a prom. The first time I took a courage to sing for her in the middle of so many people with a piano and that's the official day we get to known together of our friends where we decided before to be subtle.. She smiled at me as she hears the intro. She closed her eyes as I began to sing..
.
I was down, my dreams were wearing thin
When you're lost, where do you begin?
My heart always seemed to drift from day to day
Looking for the love that never came my way
Then you smiled and I reached out to you
I could tell you were lonely too
One look and then it all began for you and me
The moment that we touched
I knew that there would be
Two less lonely people in the world
And it's gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can't believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people
In the world tonight
Just to think what I might have missed
Looking back how did I exist
I dreamed, still I never thought I'd come this far
But miracles come true,
I know 'cause here we are
Two less lonely people in the world
And it's gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can't believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people
In the world tonight
Tonight I fell in love with you
And all the things I never knew
Seemed to come to me somehow
'Cause, baby, love is here and now there's two less lonely people in the world
And it's gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can't believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people
Two less lonely people
Two less lonely people
In the world tonight
Two less lonely people in the world...
.
Chloe now sounds asleep. I smiled as I felt my tears fell again. I leaned to her to place one last kiss on her forehead, carefully not to wake her up.
My trembling hand held the plug and muttered, "Goodbye Chloe. I love you so much."
And I pulled the plug.
Then the heart monitor stopped as her soft breathing slowly stopped too.
Chloe Beale-Mitchell is now truly my angel.
A/N: We're accepting prompts!
