Author's Notes: Hello, munchkins. I now introduce Part II: Nightmares. In this Part of my little fanfiction saga, we will delve into the fears of our protagonists. I think it is good to point out that love isn't all about puppies and rainbows. There is patience and pain. But not to worry, this will not be as dark and brooding as you may imagine. I hope to keep it light and funny too. Don't want to be too angsty now. I plan on this to be four chapters as well. I have so many ideas floating around.
P.S. If you're not one for inspiro-lyrics, you can ignore the songs I picked for the chapters. But if you don't mind, I'd like for you to take a gander at the lyrics used. They can play as foreshadowing. I didn't pick them for nothing! And if you can, check the songs out too, they provide quite a mood while reading. It'll be fanfiction in 3-D! Or something to that affect.
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Chapter One: Heart From Iron
Jacob
We'd
be so less fragile
If we're made from metal
And our hearts from
iron
And our minds from steel
if we built an armour
For our
tender bodies
Could we love each other
Would we strive to feel
This
was ridiculous, but the asshole wouldn't stop smiling. I glared at
him through the mirror. He used his sister as an excuse. I doubt she
cared about my appearance.
"She does." He smirked,
"trust me."
"Uh huh." I scowled, throwing the
shirt off my back. I never thought shopping could be so tortorous. I
didn't mind getting new clothes, God knows I needed it, but something
about him
paying for it bothered me. I could hear him sigh behind me. I forgot
he'd hear that.
"I'm not just anybody, Jacob." He
scolded me. He was right. He wasn't just anybody. That's why it felt
weird. Standing there trying on more
clothes after he spent close to a grand on me already.
"Money
is no object, love." He said in that lullaby-tone. He was trying
to work his magic to get me to shut up. No sir, not this
time.
"Whatever, 50 Cent," I scowled. He didn't seem to
catch the allusion. He's been around for how long and never fancied
to turn on a radio once in awhile? Fancied?
Did I just think that? I was hanging around with him too much. He
chuckled behind me, "I'm not some materialistic tramp that you
throw money at." I added, making sure he got what I meant.
"I
never said you were." He placed the shirt I tried on back on the
hanger.
My eyes narrowed as he folded it over his arms, "You're
not buying that, are you?" He nodded, "Edward, is this
really necessary?" I scolded. I barely wore shirts these days,
why did I need ten dozen?
"It shuts Alice up." That
must have been a good thing, judging by his expression. I'd know soon
enough. Carlisle, AKA the Doc met me personally just a few days
earlier and scheduled a dinner with the rest of the Cullen family.
Fun. I had to admit, the idea was a bit unnerving, because of the
pack. I feared phasing these days. It was tragic enough, my mind was
an ongoing homoerotic ShowTime
series
for the rest of them to see, but it would make Sam surely outraged to
know I was having dinner with a load of lee- vampires. I have already
been scolded, followed, attacked...The list goes on. Paul already did
his fair share of "knocking" sense into me, but I still
managed to find a way to escape meeting Edward just over the border.
The past two weeks were a living nightmare. The pack fully exposed to
our lovely rendevous in Edward's room, our exchanges of the L
word. It was torturous seeing the expression on their faces. With
this sprung the episodes of Paul's anger fits, Edward's threats of
crossing the line that need not exist anymore and sadly, the end of
any type of dirty, nasty, awesome banging for the meantime. He
refused it after realizing his uncontrollable desire to do me in
half-way through sex. There's my luck. The only thing that kept me
from not pushing as I wanted was the fear of another string of
disappointed, ashamed looks from the boys at home. I had enough from
just kissing him. I stared in the mirror, a guilty look on my face. I
promised him I wouldn't think about it.
"Sorry," I
mumbled.
"It makes it harder for me when you do that."
"I know, but Paul can be a prick," I assured him, "he
means well when he punches me in the face." I saw his jaw lock
in anger.
"I wasn't speaking about that, although I wouldn't
mind being alone with him in a room..." He finished the last of
his fantasy to himself, "I was speaking about the sex
problem."
"Oh." I didn't know what to say. It had
become a really touchy subject only because I knew he wanted it as
much as I did.
"It is hard for me." He repeated.
I
smirked, "I bet."
He was serious, "Jacob," He
said sharply.
"What?" I rolled my eyes, "I'm not
the one holding you back. You are." He held his position, frozen
for about a minute. It was his signiture move when he was angry or
alert. I could only guess what he was now.
"Do you know how
much your life means to me?"
I let out an aggravated growl,
"Here we go again."
"I'm sorry I care more about
your well being than you do!" His voice rose was a bit higher.
He was getting angry as he usually did when I showed lack of concern
for my health. This was an ongiong, daily argument, "You don't
care. Whether it's me or that cretin Paul! You don't have any concern
for your life or body!"
I was silent, mostly because I was
shocked by his sudden outburst, but the curiousity was killing me,
because he didn't just... "Did you just call Paul a cretin?"
Edward grunted out an angry noise that sounded very much like a
primitive animal.
"I'm not playing games."
"Obviously,"
I retorted, "Holding out on yourself. I very much care for my
well being, because you're my well being. Why do you think I'm
risking so much to be here,
period?
Because I fancy my nose broken everyday?" there was that word
again.
He huffed out a breath, "It hurts me seeing you with
a broken nose. If he touches you again, I will personally come over
there and break something of his and there is nothing you can do or
say to stop me."
"As you wish." I replied calmly,
getting a loving smirk in response. He obviously caught that
allusion.
* * *
I
stared at the radio. The tune playing from Edward's ipod was very
much like him; beautiful, mysterious and soothing. How the hell did
he find these songs?
"What is this?" I asked, still
staring at the radio. We were on our way back from Port Angeles. Our
shopping was over, but the trip was another story. I enjoyed
listening to the music he played as we drove in silence. His playlist
was always random and astounding.
"AKA M80 The Wolf."
He replied, "By Portugal. the man."
"Excuse me?"
interesting name for a song, "Nice title."
He smirked.
the song ended and another played. This one lighter and familar...and
a bit 80s. He listened to 80s music?
"And this one?"
He
seemed to be holding back a smile, "Hungry like the Wolf."
I turned slowly in the passenger seat, glaring at him. He stared at
me briefly, eyes wide with innocence, "I swear it is on random."
"I'm sure." Maybe he had another sweet indie tune on
here. I pressed the next button. This one I recognised.
"Blue?"
I asked with raised eyebrows. Now he was pushing it, "Never knew
you had a thing for the band Splendid." I listened, reminding
myself to get Edward back.
"Night
falls
I fall
And where were you?
And where were you?
Warm
skin
Wolf grin
And where were you?"
I
swear he somehow contructed a playlist without my knowing.
He
ignored that thought, but a smirk was evident on that beautiful
face.
"She's a guilty pleasure. A close friend got me
hooked. She's a fan."
That got my attention, "Who?"
He laughed out at my curiousity.
"A friend."
He was enjoying this, "Jealous?"
I didn't answer right
away. Did he want me to be? Didn't matter, he knew my answer. The
cold bastard could see it.
"No, we didn't have a 'thing'."
He replied, picking up the question in my head. I was a bit taken
back to see him suddenly serious, "but she was a bit
persistant."
"Was she..." I stated more than
asked. He didn't have to read my mind to understand what was going on
in my head.
"Nothing happened, Jacob."
"I'm
not worried about that." I mumbled, totally lying.
"Your
face says it all," he was patient, watching my face relax a bit,
"You were my first everything, I'll have you know that."
"That
doesn't really matter, does it?" It did, alot. I wanted him to
myself.
"I'm all yours." He said straightly. His face
was strained. I knew that look. Something was bothering him. I
decided not to get into it this time. There were conflicts that we
had to work out and it made him worry. I wouldn't push, I'd leave
him alone. Just this once.
Edward
It
took just two days before the dinner settled in on his mind. I
wouldn't say he was worrying or having second thoughts; he was just
reviewing. The only thing he appeared to be having second thoughts
about was his attire. He thought of it as too "rich boy". I
knew it was coming. As we got out the car, he stared at his clothes
with a heated passion of hate.
"You look..." I couldn't
say anything too flattering or he'd have a fit, "nice."
"Nice
save, slick." He wrinkled his face in discomfort. He no longer
was accustomed to anything as binding as sneakers because of his
constant patrols of the land in his other form. He was on a
continuious schedule of diving out of shoes to phase so these days it
wasn't worth the rip.
"You do look breath taking." His
hair had grown out. It was shaggier and more wild, making him look as
unruly as his personalitiy allowed himself to be. He had just
finished slipping into the last of his clothes as he turned onto the
trail to the house. Dinner was moved to an earlier time due to the
fact that Alice had no patience to wait to see something that she
couldn't predict. This left Jacob with no time to "review"
fully.
"Sure, sure," He exhaled, relaxing himself,
"Says the one who can't breathe. I still think this is a bit
creepers. I'll be the only one eating."
"Don't worry
about it," I came around the car so I could take his hand in
mine. I, in no way, wanted him to feel alone in this. It was a big
deal bringing a wolf home to a house of vampires as was bringing a
lover home to a family. Perhaps that makes it twice as unnerving. He
chuckled under his breath, completely amused by his situation. I
heard no fear in his thoughts. We walked through the front door,
taking careful steps. Alice had kept an ear on the door, waiting, so
I wasn't surprised to see her standing there watching Jacob slightly
dumbfounded. She was put off by him, yet attracted at the same time.
She couldn't make up her mind whether to like him or not. As if to
help her settle the confusion, Jacob spoke directly to her.
"How's
your blindness going?" He started politely. He was trying. I
couldn't help the proud grin that crossed my face.
Alice frowned,
obviously put off by his knowledge of the disadvantage of his
company, "It has gotten worse since you walked in the
house."
"Shit happens." He was going to leave it
there, but he hesitated, "But, sorry to hear that." He
mumbled. It was like seeing a child say their please and thank you's
for the first time without parental guidance. I gave him no lecture
on how to act or any warnings of what not to do. I trusted his
behavior and his heart and of course I was right as to what he'd
do.
Alice tittered, and balanced a hand on his forearm. He didn't
flinch, but I could hear his tense thoughts echo as a warning to him.
It was instinct to back away from us.
She means no harm. She's just touchy. He assured himself.
"I'll get over it." Alice said soothingly, doing her best to sound polite. Jacob frowned, taking it as patronizing. She could be that too. A distinct voice picked up from the hum in the house. Esme. She was the only one to not get an entire glimpse of Jacob. This would be her first. She entered the room, her eyes wide with wonder. I had personally told her about Jacob not a week ago before our family had the meeting about him. Concern was always a mother's first instinct, but it was my happiness she wanted. Just like Carlisle, she took the information in quite easily. She glided toward him, taking in his large frame and tanned skin. For a second her golden eyes met the dark pool of his own and they stared transfixed with each other. Jacob was flabbergasted psychologically. There was no string of logic, emotion or any train of thought. His mind was blank, save for her face in his eyes. It suddenly hit me. He liked her. She said nothing to him, but the look in her eyes were those of love and affection. I stared at Esme with my own eyes and was speechless. It was like she was looking at her son; me.
Edward, he's beautiful
She opened her arms, pulling him in a hug. He stared wide eyed, unable to say much, but completed the hug nonetheless.
....the hell?
He
was finally able to pull something coherant to mind. His head turned
my way, jaw open with a priceless expression. He couldn't believe
what he was feeling, what she was doing. Esme pulled away, her neck
craned a bit to get a look at him.
"Dinner is ready."
She patted his shoulder before walking back toward the kitchen. Jacob
jerked a thumb her way, but didn't say anything.
Did she just HUG me?
"Yeah."
was all I could say. I felt the familar waves of Emmett. He was
coming down stairs. He smelt Jacob right as we walked in.
"You're
here!" He shot down the stairs at vampire pace. Jacob didn't
move a muscle of surprise as he halted not a foot in front of him, "I
thought you guys were..." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
I wish. Jacob thought bitterly.
"Hey,
sup," Emmett nodded his head Jacob's way. Jacob nodded back, "I
helped saved your life. I'm sure you remember me."
"Clearly,"
Jacob replied, his lips twitching in amusement.
"I witnessed
that you know how to throw down," He was of course referring to
Jacob's attack on the vampire who knocked me back, "Maybe we can
have a go. Love to see what a wolf can do." I raised an eyebrow
and Emmett rolled his eyes, "Not like that,
Edward." I watched Emmett carefully. I knew it was coming. He
was like a curious kitten.
"You have yourself a deal."
Jacob, unfortunately was always up for a fight.
"Speaking of
throwdowns..." Emmett did his best not to look directly at me as
if that would stunt my skill any, "Who-"
"It ends
there, Emm." I said in a warning tone.
Emmett shrugged
catching how serious I was. He'd try again later, but for now he knew
better. This was Jacob's initial meeting of the family. "Whatever."
He left the room chuckling to himself.
"What did he want to
know?" Jacob had an idea, but waited for me to say it.
"He
wanted to know who topped." I said through gritted teeth. I
forgot Alice stood right behind him. Her eyes widened as she thought
of previous accounts of me alone in my room. Visions she saw more
often these days. I, of course did have a a strong yearning to
release my desire for him. I couldn't help when my body responded to
it. I looked away from her, meeting his eyes. They were bright with
laughter. He found Emmett's curiousity funny. If it was up to me, I'd
prefer they drew a line between themselves and our private lives.
Jacob
The
Food Network has nothing on Esme Cullen. I'm sure I swallowed at
least five plates of her food. I couldn't tell what it really was.
Some fancy shit you saw in restaurants that usually cost 100 bucks a
pop. The rest of the family sat at the table. Emmett and the blonde,
who I now knew as Jasper, were playing Connect Four. Emmett was
extremely competitive and enthustiastic with just about every move
each of them made. Jasper was...quiet and very distant. The only
words I had gotten from him was a "how are you." Next to
me, Alice and Edward were having what to them was a conversation, but
to me it was Edward speaking with himself and responding to unheard
words. It was confusing and easily boring. His hand rested innocently
on my thigh under the table as they talked. Other than that, he paid
me no mind. Carlisle and Esme on the other hand, wouldn't shut up.
Carlisle debated the information he discovered with treating me. The
differences between my body and a regular human's. It was all very
informing, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was so
interested. Esme, was very much like an aunt with no kids, she was
jusr too
interested
in everything I had to say about my life at home and with vigor asked
about how well my family was. She was a bit...confusing. As much as
she was quiet and motherly, she was a bit too trusting and eager to
know me. I didn't know how to take it.
"This food is
just..." I swallowed, trying to find the right words, "fucking
awesome." I knew it was my 10th time complementing on the food,
but it really was that tasty. Esme didn't seem to mind my
complementary expression. She said thanks again, this time getting up
to take my plate. Carlisle followed suit into the kitchen. Emmett
whooped out as he won for the first time that night. Jasper stared at
him before mummering something incoherant and standing up. He didn't
seem bothered by Emmett's thrusting victory dance. In fact, as his
eyes landed my way, I realized what was bothering him. Jasper walked
out of the room. I heard the front door click gently, letting me know
he left. Edward froze, his hand tightened on my thigh.
"Alice,"
He hissed icily. Alice somehow knew what he was concerned about. I
frowned, not catching on. She nodded and within a second was out of
the door.
"What happened?" I asked, seeing his face
fall blank before he threw on a very practiced smile.
"Nothing
to worry about, Jake," He said tenderly, "Are you full?"
Huh. I only heard him use that one other time and that was when he
saw me right after Paul's first squabble with my face. I was furious,
violent and on the verge to phase. He calmed me down with some very
soothing words, but I could see his hand twitch occasionally.
Attempting to keep me calm, so he wouldn't lose it as well. The word
Jake seemed to bring me back down. Here he was using it again. He
obviously didn't want me worried about whatever crossed Jasper's
mind. And Alice came into the picture, because she could see if he
would do anything, hence her leaving the house entirely. The whole
blind problem.
"You see I already figured it out," I
said calmly, "Just tell me what he was thinking." Edward
sighed, averting his eyes. It was getting easier to read him these
days.
"Your scent bothered him." He said flatly. I
forgot about that. Of course they
smelled, but these days I got use to the burn. Edward's scent was
always on me. But the way most of them behaved around me, it was hard
to tell if they were bothered at all by me in an aroma sense. That
blonde twit Miss Priss was obviously bothered by me all round, hence
not being there at all when I arrived. I could hear her occasionally
upstairs throwing something whenever she heard me speak to someone in
light jest. She must hate that her parents liked me. Well, she at
least had someone on her team; Jasper.
"Enough to make you
concerned for my safety?"
"It's a bit complicated,
Jacob." He had that look again. That self-hate look. He must of
had the same feelings Jasper did at one point. I suddenly thought
about Edward's teeth on my shoulder, clenching as if to break skin.
Oh.
The pain in Edward's eyes were too sad for me to handle. I
looked away as he spoke, "It's hard for him. He's new to this
and he really is trying." I had the oddest feeling he wasn't
just talking about his brother.
"How hard?" I
challenged. Edward knew to whom I was referring that question
to.
"I'm sure it was a passing thought he had," He
continued, but the tone in his voice was much darker now, "but
just in case..."
"Sure, sure."
Emmett broke
the silence by slamming the Connect Four game pieces in front of
me.
"Come on, Jakey," he taunted, "Watch me kick
your ass."
Out of all games..."Your mouth big enough
to eat your words, Cullen?" I teased with raised
eyebrows.
"Pshhh," He leaped across the dining room
table with grace and sat in the chair across from me, "Let me
show you how it's done." He smirked. I turned feeling a sudden
draft. Edward was gone. I guess this concluded our conversation.
Edward
I
heard her before she could suppress it. In her attempts to focus on
Jasper's resulted future, she got another vision entirely; just me.
She appeared through the shadows of the trees. Her face was filled
with regret. I wanted so much for her to be as thankful as I was.
They made up their mind, they were finally coming back to Forks, but
he would be safe.
"I won't allow this." the words were
forced out with some form of momentum. Perhaps the look on my face;
relief.
"If it'll keep him safe." I said too
non-chalant for her to handle.
"You will die!" the
words came out in chokes. She was sobbing-or doing the closest a
vampire was allowed to do. She was right. James would track his
scent, only to have me standing in their way, stalling in a viscious
battle until they took me down. Alice, Jasper and Emmett would find
them and finish the job. I would die when he was miles away,
safe.
Alice stared me down, waiting for an answer. When she got
nothing, she scrambled furiously for another path where I would
survive. She got nothing. It was hard to get around Jacob.
He needs to know. He has a right to. His choice can change whether you live or die.
I
surprised her with a sharp snarl, my tranquility broken, "You
know what he'll choose and that would mean he
dies!"
"So you won't give him that choice?"
Alice's eyes stared hard into mines. She was challenging me to pull a
double standard. I had to.
"No." I finally
said.
"That's not what he would want."
"I
don't care-" I hesitated. "He is young. He doesn't know
what he wants." I said this more to myself then her.
"Does
that include you?" She asked smally. I nodded curtly, "How
can you be so sure?"
I felt that familar tightening in my
throat. One of the symptoms to crying. the automatic preparation the
muscles took. I wish I could breakdown, "Because there is always
a catch." And it didn't change anything. I'd die for him, not
for the mere reason that he would do the same, but for the fact that
one of us would have the chance at living, because if he no longer
went on, I wouldn't be able to either. It was just the way it was and
I was more than willing to accept that.
Jacob
I
don't think he looked at the road once. That didn't scare me, but the
look I was getting did. He came back in with Alice and watched my
game with Emmett quietly. After winning a enough times to royally
piss Emmett off, he finally suggested he should take me home. It was
only 7 o'clock. That worried me. He must've still been mad about our
brief argument.
"Stop ditching class to see me," He
said this softly, but I heard a bit of venom behind it, "You
have good grades to maintain."
"For what?" I
retorted, "My promising career elsewhere? Get real, Edward."
He didn't respond right away. He just kept on staring.
"How
do you feel about motorcycles?" He asked randomly. I had to do a
double take to see if he was serious.
"What?"
"I
know you have an interest in them," He spoke, shifting without
turning to see for what, "I thought I'd get you one since I
missed your last birthday."
"And the 15 others before
it?" I couldn't help but grin. He would do something like
that.
"Is there any kind you have in mind?"
"You've
already taken the grand tour." I said, smirking develishly. I
was referring to my brain of course, "surprise me."
"I
will." His car slowed, right where it always did, so I could get
out. My truck was waiting half a mile in the woods. We sat there, not
saying anything for awhile.
"You're acting funny." I
finally said outloud. He heard me think it at least five times
already.
"Because we're
funny." He said, no smile on his face. Dead serious. I'm
guessing we weren't Cheech and Chong funny then.
I couldn't help
but feel a bit uneasy by that statement, "Is that bad?" my
pulse quickened waiting for a response. My breath came out panting at
the extended pause. I felt something weird. It was as if he was
saying goodbye. Was something coming to a close?
His breath
caught and I jerked my head so fast, I heard something crack in my
neck.
"No," He said finally. He held my face in his
hands, cool thumbs massaging my cheeks gently, "It is perfect.
You're perfect." But the situation isn't. I could tell he wanted
to say this. Here we were, driving home from the big family dinner
and he couldn't even walk me to my door and give me a kiss like the
gentleman in him wanted to do. We had to settle for kissing at enemy
lines. How retarded was that? Too retarded, if you ask me.
"So
I guess that means we'll have to see each other after
school." I rolled my eyes. He was ever the perfect student. I
had to at least attempt to emulate.
"I'll call you when I
get out." He pulled me in for one of those gentle kisses. I
gotten use to this after the whole no-sex situation. It kept things
from getting steamy, I suppose, "You're my world." Wow,
what a way to put it. I felt gratitude, but the mush was a bit
much.
"I love you, too, Eddie." He chuckled at the
nickname, but his grin didn't crinkle to his amused, shiney eyes like
they usually did.
"I love you more."
I laughed,
opening the door. "Don't get all romance novel on me," I
jumped out, "See you tomorrow." I closed the door, tugged
off my sneakers and comfortably walked through the bushes and dirt in
the direction of my truck.
I woke up the next morning, exhausted and a bit out of
place. In a drowsy state, I showered, ate breakfast and avoided eye
contact with my dad. He rarely wore the face he had on, but when it
came, a storm usually followed. Unfortunately, Edward was the metal
rod to my father's lightening-like lectures, so the rarity of the
looks was beginning to become the norm.
In mid-yawn, I closed the
front door behind me, a backbpack on one shoulder, since it was too
goofy and small on my big frame. It made me feel like a monkey. It
took me a second to realize that there was something blocking my
path; a big, shiny, new bike. Two thoughts came to mind; Did Edward
already buy the bike before our conversation? How the hell did he get
on the reserv without getting trambled by any of the pack? I
carressed the bike and felt an electric tingle through my body.
Almost as good as sex. Folded very neatly, with a helmet placed on
top was a nice and accurate sized jacket. I would have screamed like
a fangirl if it wasn't for the careful eye my father had on me
through the front window of the house. This must have been what he
was irritated about. I jerked off my backpack and loaded up with
excitement. I needed to go for a brief joyride. It wasn't until I was
actually on the bike, did I hesitate. I really didn't mind gifts, but
things got awkward after someone throws down more than one Benjamin
for you. He knew my weaknesses and this
I wouldn't complain about. I wanted
this
so much. Automobiles was an addiction I couldn't rid myself of and he
knew it. My eyes narrowed, depite my joy. He was bribing me.
Billy
was funny. After school, he attempted to once again trap me in the
house with some more warnings. Sam respected me enough to not tell my
dad the entire story-you know, the fucking-but warned him that
feelings were growing from both parties. At least he was accurate. My
dad disappeared in his room, probably plotting a way to keep me from
going back to Forks later that night. I took the oppurtunity to get a
breath of fresh air, but before I could take a walk, have a moment to
myself, Quil walked in, all teeth.
"What you cheesing at?"
I narrowed my eyes.
His face wrinkled as he plugged his nosed
and waved a hand, "You stank,
brothah!" He laughed. I joined in. My relationships in La Push
were strained, but not broken. I was happy for the reminder. He
jumped on the living room couch, getting comfy, "I haven't seen
you in awhile." I sighed, nodding in agreement. These days I did
patrol without phasing and by myself. If it was up to me, patrolling
would be my job, not every one else's. It was my fault we were in
this situation, but seeing how there was some duo of vamps heading
our way, it was pretty much out of the question to request it.
Besides, it wasn't just me the pack was protecting. I scoffed at the
word. Protect. Like I couldn't take care of myself. That suddenly
brought Edward to mind, his intense desire to keep me safe. Quil's
face was wrinkled in what looked to be mild disgust.
"You're
thinking about that leech- I mean Edward again, aren't you?"
Well at least he used his name this time.
"No," I lied,
I didn't like being caught, "I was just thinking
of..."
"His...penis?" Quil asked with raised
eyebrows. I threw the first thing I could get my hands on. A fork
that was resting on the counter. He dodged just in time. It struck
the wall, before tumbling down, making an odd clattering
noise.
Quil's smile was still on his face as he spoke the next
words, "I'm not here for this, but a heads up. Sam wants to have
some sort of meeting alone with you."
"Why?" my
eyes narrowed. As much as Sam kept his calm, he was waiting. He
didn't trust Edward, even if I did. It was Quileute nature.
He
shrugged, "Not completely sure, but I can only say one thing,"
He settled deeper into the couch, "Sam thinks the Cullens are up
to something." Bingo.
"Like?"
"I dunno."
He really wasn't liking the tense atmosphere. He knew it was hard not
killing the messenger, "Like they are using you. to get across
here."
"And what does he think they do, dazzle
me
or something?" I sneered.
"Mmm, no." He replied
thoughtfully, "Just Edward."
"Dazzle..." I
tried the word again and snorted. I had a retarded
vocabulary.
"That'd be something if you're to be dazzled..."
He frowned at the sentance, "be...dazzled. Bedazzler! Hey, then
you can sparkle too, right?!"
"Be happy I don't wear
sneakers." I warned. I waited for him to settle down. He was now
laying on the couch, legs kicked over the arm, swinging like a little
child's.
"Seriously," He said, voice high from
laughing, "You should be careful. Whether they veg out or not,
you're still bleedable and your last name is Black, if you catch me."
He was right, but it wouldn't have been wise to add that Edward was
safe enough for the both of us.
"You hate them, huh?"
His legs stopped swinging at my question as he sat up.
"Look,
no offense, Jake, but they are still leeches to me," He sniffed
and scowled, "They smell and they make you smell."
"Thanks."
I said lightly, rolling my eyes.
"But, I know you. If you
are...having these feelings for the para- uh, Edward, then he must be
an okay." He exhaled, proud, I'm sure of his successful wording.
He looked a bit breathless. I never noticed how hard it was not
to
hate the Cullens
"Exhausting, wasn't it?"
He
laughed out, throwing his back on the couch again, "You have no
idea." Quil chuckled, then sat up again, his face more serious.
"So, uh...I noticed you have a new bike.." I paused,
forgetting for a second that he was right.
"Is that what
brought you over here?" I laughed out. He gave me a guilty
look.
"I really was curious as to how you were doing..."
Quil mumbled, "Honest."
"Nice." I didn't mind
it. I'm sure I'd stop by and say hi to an asshole if he had a nice
ride I wanted to take a spin in.
"So you're here because you
want to test drive," It was like showing a kid a sack full of
goodies. I oddly felt like a perverted pedo at the thought. His eyes
watered with overwhelming joy.
"I would do..." He
gulped, "Anything." I was feeling generous. I threw him the
keys and he caught it. He was out of the door before I could finish
my warning.
"Scratch it and you'll be shitting from a new
hole." I heard the familar purr, before the cunching of gravel.
Quil gave a whoop as he tore off. I'd kill him if he destroyed my
gift.
I eyed the clock warily. It was already 5 and no call. He
could've been busy, I assured myself. But he has about 8 more hours
to his day than the rest of us did. He could put a book down and call
right? I didn't wait for my brain to answer. The hair on my arms rose
and a involuntary growl boomed from my chest. A leech was very close
by. I shot out of my house, already pulling off my shirt, racing
towards the trees. It was coming from just beyond them. Too close. I
felt the shudder then. If anyone was hurt...Heat soared through me,
boiling my blood. I was seeing fire and an image stood right in the
middle. Her small form reminded me of a kid, but her eyes were very
knowledgable and...scared. She stood rigidly, knowing she was on
enemy grounds.
It was Little Miss.
"Alice!" I
needed a moment to settle down, but she came in my direction, anyway.
The fear wasn't from me or my pack, it was for something else.
Something urgent, "Edward!" his name erupted from my
body.
"He's fine." She said all too quickly. Fine...for
how long?
"What happened?" I waited. Her eyebrows
furrowed together as she fought internally with something, "Alice,
I can't help if you don't tell me."
"I saw something
last night," She said gravely, "Something Edward didn't
want me sharing with you."
I watched her eyes, those golden
eyes that were so much like his. They were tightened with that
familar necessary duty to do what you don't want to do, what you
feared to do. It was a regretful bravery. She was going to say
something I didn't like. "It is about those vampires? James
and..."
"Yes." She said straightly, "They are
on their way now."
Was Edward patrolling? Was that keeping
him from me? "Alright." I sighed, "Let's do this. I
can call the pack together, keep them on guard. They may want to
wreak damage here also..." My mind was whirling. I didn't know
if it was safe to stick so close to home. Edward did say they'd go
for a weakness. I thought of Billy, Quil, Embry...the pack...him.
Alice. Esme. The Cullens. I was actually concerned vampires. The
thought was paralyzing, but a little easier to believe after falling
in love with one of them.
"Jacob," she shook her head,
"No. It won't happen that way."
I gulped. Oh, so it was
like that, With a shakey exhale, I nodded, accepting my fate, "It's
okay. As long as everyone is safe, we can..." She shook her
head. It clicked then. The bike, the statement about me being his
world, the feeling he was leaving, "Edward..." What I
wouldn't give to have him there that moment.
"Jacob,"
she said lowly, "If you both leave, go out of the country, we
can find a way..." I shook my head. That wouldn't work.
"No,
James will follow us," I got a flashing image of my father, "and
I won't leave the pack to their wrath if it takes too long to do
it."
"We can help." Alice pressed.
"This
isn't your fight, Alice." I growled. Her mouth formed a small
pout.
"It is."
"And what would Jasper think
about all this?" I retorted, "risking your life for me. A
dirty mongrel?"
I could tell she didn't like that last bit.
She was silent, frozen as I remembered him to be last night after our
immature argument. I wanted to take back that laugh. I
love you more.
I laughed out of sheepishness. Being lovey-dovey could be a bit odd
and embarrassing. If I had a second chance to say something....I
couldn't think of anything as impacting as his words, but all that
came to mind was... He
had no idea.
I suddenly realized what I had to do. I stared at Alice again, seeing
her in an entirely new light. She risked everything to give me this
choice, to save her brother.
"Alice," I said softly,
"Tell him that I love him, more than he can comprehend. Tell him
that without him, I'd wouldn't be here. He should know, he saved
me."
She started to argue, but I held up a hand. My mind was
already made.
"Tell Carlisle thank you and Esme to take
care," I gave a shakey sigh, "It would have been awesome
having you as a sister." She stared at me wide-eyed as I leaned
forward crushing her frame to mine. She smelled just like him. My
body shook back a sob. Those last words in the car was all I had. It
was a happy ending in my opinion. And I owed it all to her.
"No."
Her tinkling voice whispered. I could barely hear it over the roar of
a motorcycle. My motorcycle. Quil threw off the helmet, allowing it
to crash onto the earth. He smelled Alice and booked it back. He
didn't know...
"It's okay." I held up a hand as he
jumped forward, his body shuddering, "Quil. Look at me. LOOK at
me." I met with him, holding his shoulders to keep him in place.
He was seething.
"This is important. I got a warning. The
vampire is coming with company." His eyes finally locked with
mine, "They want me."
"We know that." his
voice was surprisingly soft, despite his shaking.
"If I'm
out the way, then nothing will happen."
"Nothing would
happen if you were in
the way" He already knew where this was going, "Don't play
the bait that will be killed, Jacob."
"Do me a favor,"
I had no time for arguing."Give me 6 hours. I will head
north."
He shook his head. His eyes were wide, aghast. "I
won't."
I motioned my head towards the bike, "You
said you would do anything." I cracked a smile. He didn't smile
back, but shocked me with what would have been a whiney sob if he
wasn't so angry.
"Don't do this, man."
"You
know me," I sighed, looking back, Alice was already gone,
"Always doing the stupid. You can keep the bike if you do
it."
"I'm not picking a shitty bike over your life."
Ah. Now the bike is shitty.
"But you're picking my
life over your family's, the ones you love?" His eyes clouded
over, "Think about this, Quil. It keeps them safe." A look
I never seen on his face, took over. It reminded me very much of the
look Edward had when he saw my bloodied nose after the brawl with
Paul. It was a helpless pained expression, as if it hurt him 10 times
as much.
"You've got 6 hours." He said darkly, "No
more, no less."
"Thank you. I am forever in your debt."
I hugged him, but he stood stiffly still.
"Take the bike."
He was already out of my jacket, handing it to me.
"Thanks."
I put my arms through it, talking, "Tell Billy that I'm sorry
for the stress I put on him. And, if it isn't too much, can
you..?"
"It shouldn't even be a question. We'll look
after him." His eyes watered for the second time that day as he
said those words. This time, it was from a helpness
sadness.
"Thanks." I picked the helmet up, slipping it
on my head. The squeeze against my temples was comforting, a bear hug
to my head. I let a small thought slip in. One that weakened me. That
last kiss. A kiss to comfort my future, when it was him that would
hurt through my decision. It was worth it. In time, it would pass and
he'd live on, possible falling in love again. A weird pang struck my
chest. Even that was worth it. The rumble between my legs brought me
back to present. I kicked off, speeding through dirt and gravel, the
world fuzzing in my peripherals. It was time to make papa proud. The
thought made me chuckle.
___________________________________________________________________
Lyrics used: The
Pierces-Three Wishes, Angie Hart-Blue
Author's
Notes: Nightmares would basically be the "New
Moon" of this Jedward story, hence why I used the "is this
goodbye?" homage to the book. It is to remind you, that this is
alternate storyline. Things will be similar, yet backwards or
flipped. (aka Vicky dead, James alive)
The plot thickens, my friends.
