Finally! I've been wanting post this story here on the site for a while!
A message to all Twilight fans: The movies suck, okay? So don't go grilling me just because I'm not part of some 'trend', alright?
Please read and review!
_
"Vat travels for yonder over such malicious paths!" Count Spankulot acted out as the cameras aimed at him. "Vat fools on bicycles getting themselves boo-boos!"
"I blame the children," said an elderly woman, who acted out as well, "they make you nuts."
"Oh, so now this is about the children?" Count Spankulot demanded in almost realistic anger.
"And cut!" The director shouted. Finally, the Count and his actress partner relaxed as the cameras were put down. "Good work, people. That's a wrap for Bloo's Epiphany: Episode 53."
Spankulot smiled proudly to himself at another job well-done. Wanting to contribute to something other than adult tyranny, he had recently tried out for a career in acting. A few months later, he had become one of the greatest actors to appear in adult villain television dramas. Bloo's Epiphany was in the top ten, as well as the Count was one of the top three best television actors.
He didn't get the award for Best Foreign Villain for nothing! And it wasn't because his words that started with a 'w' sounded more like they started with a 'v'!
There was no spanking naughty children involved, but at least he received a fat paycheck to make up for it.
"Mr. Spankulot," an intern called as he approached the Count, "you got a call. From a Mr. Boss."
The Count's smiled, his fangs gleaming, remembering his adult villains ally and good friend. "Ah, my villain companion," the Count smiled, "perhaps to inform me vhen ve'll strike the KND once again."
"Also, here's your magazine which you subscribed for," the intern added before handing him his mail.
Once the Count had a moment to himself and sat down on his reserved chair, he began flipping through the magazine to see more reviews on the incredibly popular drama he was proud to be in. Then something caught his eye.
"New books coming out this month?" He questioned as he read the section. "Hmm, vonder what the vriter is like…"
_
Wish.
That's what she was named.
People thought it to be a very original name, and that it seemed to fit her character very well. Though some wondered why she could have been named Star, Twinkle, or Moon.
Because those are for hippies, her mother would tell them.
Wish chuckled to herself as she drove her car through the Interstate as she sipped her coffee. She had just left her home in Canada five hours ago and was traveling to America to run her career as a novelist.
America was the land of opportunity, said many foreigners who later became U.S. citizens. Wish knew this was a very big opportunity for her literature. Having only written a few books, she was riding on the path to fame and popularity. Her books had gotten good reviews, and the publishers have asked permission to expand the merchandise. It would be no surprise if she found her book in some café/bookstore right now…
Welcome to Cleveland Ohio, the sign said as she drove passed it. Adjusting her glasses, Wish poked her head out her car window and took in the sight of the lovely town.
The atmosphere…the colors…the cute stuff…it, however, was making her sort of phobic.
She was a bit Gothic so of course she felt a bit uncomfortable.
Though she didn't entirely look the part, her dark brown hair with blue highlights and black/purple and midnight blue clothing proved her of the Goth kind. Plus, she was wearing her grandmother's strange-looking medallion, so her character was as visible as paint.
"Oh, wow," she said to herself as she spotted a darker image before her.
Down the path, she spotted what appeared to be the woods, looking dead and scary with a simplicity of shadow and gray light to effect it nicely. Parking her car at a nearby sidewalk, Wish quickly grabbed her camera and dashed over to the area, wanting to take some quick pictures to work as inspiration for her next book.
She had gone deeper through the woods, taking a picture here and there of dead trees or black crows looking creepy but sophisticated. Then Wish looked up in astonishment. The top of one tree in particular was high enough to see the scenery, and that would be a great photo for her to take.
Determination written all over her face, Wish held her camera close as she grabbed a nearby branch and hoisted herself up to another. Soon, she was getting higher and higher until finally she made it to the top.
"This will make a great introduction," she told herself as she angled her camera at the view before taking a step forward to take the shot.
SNAP!
Startled, Wish looked around, wondering where that sound came from. Finally, she looked down and noticed her foot had touched fragile wood. Nervously, Wish took a step back-
And the whole branch broke.
Wish screamed as she grabbed helplessly at air as she began to fall. She braced herself to hit the ground, closing her eyes hoping not to break her glasses or her face...
But she never felt the impact as something quickly grabbed her around the waist.
Slowly opening her eyes, Wish noticed her face was inches away from the ground. Confused, she raised her head up to see her body had never contacted the dirt. Like she was floating.
"You really shouldn't be on such a high tree," said a voice, "they are dangerous."
Wish turned and her eyes widened to see a tall vampire-like man standing before herm whom held her in his arms.
"I, uh…" she began, her face heating up as she felt his hands around her waist.
"Are you alright?" He asked as he placed her on her feet. "I vas on my vay somewhere ven I saw you around here."
"Oh, yeah, uh…" She began nervously. "I needed a few snapshots."
"Everyone vants a good shot," the man shrugged, "ah, vell." He smiled at her, showing his white fangs. "I am Count Spankulot, and you are?"
"Wish," she began, "Wish Brennan."
"Ah, you must be new here," he shook her hand, "velcome."
Wish cocked an eyebrow and looked at him closely. "Holy cow! Now I know why you're so familiar! You're one of those wacky adult villains who fight against some organization called the KND, right?"
"Yes, I am an adult villain," he said modestly, "but, if you really must know, I am one of the best actors on adult villain television. I am the star of the show, Bloo's Epiphany."
"Oh, yeah, I know that show," Wish nodded, "my grandma watches it."
Once they got out of the woods and back to her car, Wish gave the Count her card. "I'm a novelist, by the way, you may have seen some of my work?"
"Ah, yes, in my subscribed magazine," the Count nodded, "I passed over your booklist vile reading my reviews."
"Have you ever read any of them?" She asked curiously.
"Oh, I've read quite a lot," he laughed, "I especially like the horror ones! Oh, boy! I don't think I can look at a mist the same way again!"
Wish smiled as she opened her car door. Placing her camera on her backseat, she couldn't stop looking at the Count. He was a vampire! A spanking vampire, but an actual vampire. True to her Gothic nature, Wish loved all things mysterious and quite spooky. While ghosts were a nice thing to learn about, vampires are what she really admired.
"Eh, vhat?" The Count asked, feeling nervous under her gaze.
"Oh, nothing," she laughed as she averted her eyes. "It's just…well, you're a vampire!"
"I'm sorry, are you quite repulsed by vampires?" The Count asked nervously.
"Are you kidding?" She exclaimed. "I love vampires! And trust me, you are like a classic vampire. Way better than those crappy ones from Twilight."
The Count blushed. "Eh, thanks."
Wish looked at him for a few moments, then closed her door.
"Hey, I don't know anyone here," she told him, "and you're like the first person I've met." The smallest of smiles played on her lips. You think you can show me around here?"
"I vould be delighted," the Count said with a bow, "but be aware that if any Kids Next Door appear, I will attack no matter vhat."
"Oh, trust me, the more that happens in my life, that's just another chapter waiting to be written," Wish laughed.
As they walked through the city, the Count informed her as much as she needed. They had also talked about themselves, and surprisingly, they had a lot in common: favorite types of books, favorite movies, favorite color which was extremely dark blue. While Wish knew too well, that the Count wasn't Gothic or anything dark, he was quite a rare man to be with.
"What kind of food do you like?" She asked him.
"Rainbow Munchies!" He exclaimed happily.
Wish snorted at his response. "Well, mine's a bowl of pasta, and sometimes I like eating it with a little garlic mixed in."
"Bleh!" The Count pretended to gag. "Garlic is so cruel. I nearly choked to death on a clove!"
"You're a vampire," she rolled her eyes, "you're suppose to hate it."
They turned a corner and the Count motioned toward their destination. Wish looked over and saw a huge crowd of villains waiting and murmuring amongst each other.
"What's going on?" She asked him as they approached the crowd.
"Grand opening of the villains' market," he explained, "it's been under construction for a few month after a recent battle with a new KND operative." He was half-startled when he felt a beefy arm go around him.
"Spankulot, good to see you!" It was Mr. Boss. "So you've finally made it." He glanced over at Wish, who was watching the soon-to-be opened store with anticipation. "Hey, who's the Goth girl with glasses?"
"That is my friend, Wish," the Count told him, "she's a novelist."
"A little dark, don't you think?" Mr. Boss whispered as he gazed at Wish's interesting clothing as well as the blue highlights in her hair and the necklace around her neck.
Before the Count could protest, cheers erupted as the sliding glass doors to the renovated market opened and the crowd squeezed in. The Count led Wish inside and the girl became astonished at the sight of all the villains who were around the market. That and the awesome prices of all the items in the store, especially on Rainbow Munchies.
"I know you!" Wish exclaimed as she spotted an old cat-like woman who was at the pet supplies aisle getting some cat food. "You're that insane cat lady, aren't you?"
The old woman looked at Wish with raised eyebrows."I'm not insane," the old woman retorted, "I'm crazy…"
"Crazy Old Cat Lady, right!" Wish laughed before her eyes shifted in another direction. "Hey, I think I see Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb!" And she dashed off.
"Ed, who is that?" Crazy Old Cat Lady asked the Count as they watched Wish act like such a fangirl.
"New friend, her name is Wish," he told her, his tongue tickling as it rolled over the 'W' of the name. It was one word he wanted to pronounce correctly "She's a novelist."
"She's quite lovely," the old woman nodded. Then her ears perked up. "Wait, Wish Brennan?"
"That's her."
"She wrote one of my favorite books," she exclaimed as she took out a copy, "and she's here in town!" The Count watched as she dashed off to talk to Wish about her work.
"Hey, Count, I didn't know you had a niece in town."
The Count turned to see it was Father as he approached beside him to grab a can of soup.
"She's got more tan than you ever had," Father laughed.
"She's not my niece!" The Count retorted. "Do ve look that separate in age?"
If Father had an actual face, the Count would have seen him smirk. "In vampire terms, yeah..." he laughed mockingly.
_
"That was pretty cool," Wish chuckled as she drove in her car with the Count beside her. "Those villains aren't so bad, especially that Boss guy"
"And they really like your books," the Count added, "vasn't it great that the store manager asked that you have a book signing next veek?"
"My first book signing," Wish sighed dreamily, "and in a market! I can sign and eat cookies at the same time." She smiled at him. "And thanks again for helping me out in finding an apartment around here."
"Velcome," he told her gradually, "so, vhat are your plans for your next book?"
Wish sighed. "Well, I'm trying really hard to come up with romance. But apparently, I suck…"
"But you vrite so good with fantasy and horror," he insisted, "how can you not come up with romance?"
"Well, I suck at writing romance because I myself lack romance..." she grumbled.
"Can't get a date?" He asked curiously.
"No, I had a boyfriend recently," she replied, "a selfish jerkwad who thinks I don't give him enough!" Wish's hands gripped the steering wheel, the veins on her knuckles almost visible on her barely tanned skin. She didn't want to think about him now...not when she had just made a new friend and knew too well how successful she would become.
"Enough of vhat?" The Count asked in confusion.
Wish looked at him in surprise. "You've never done it, have you?"
"Done vhat?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh, never mind," she sighed as she parked her car at a nearby sidewalk.
Once inside the building and the Count showed her a nice apartment, which was right across the hall from his, and helped her move in, Wish asked him to stay for dinner so they could get to know one another better. The Count could never refuse grilled pork loins and mashed potatoes. They were now sitting on the couch eating while the Count's drama played on Wish's television.
"That's me!" He said excitedly, pointing at himself on the television.
"Yeah, you might as well get an Emmy," Wish chuckled, "you're pretty good."
"Good?" He demanded in mock surprise. "I am, as you say, awesome!"
"Wow, you remind me of one of my cousin's friends," she laughed, "awesome was always a trademark word in his showcase."
"Perhaps you could tell me a bit more about your upcoming vork," he insisted.
"Perhaps you could show me around a bit more," Wish insisted as well, a smile playing on her lips.
"Absolutely," he said with a broad grin, "I tell you, this town almost beats my home."
"Transylvania?" She asked hopefully.
"Transylvania?" He questioned. "Please, anything is better than that swamp! No, I mean I was born in another vorld vhere creatures such as me roam around."
"Creatures?" She asked. "Likes werewolves and mummies?"
"Oh, yeah," he laughed, "and you should meet my cousin Frank, he is always crashing into things, but he has a good heart."
"Think maybe you could show me there sometime?" She asked, almost flirtatiously. "I've always wanted to meet mythical creatures. But not that I'm not happy I've met a vampire such as yourself…" She leaned toward him. "I've read in most romantic books that vampires are considered major sex symbols," she whispered.
The Count nervously gulped down his food as he looked down at Wish with a nervous smile. Why did he suddenly feel hot?
Suddenly, he began to gag.
"Oh, crap, I'm sorry!" Wish cried as she raced to help him. "I made garlic mashed potatoes by mistake!"
_
Operation: MUNCHIES is my favorite episode! And if you're wondering where I thought of Spankulot's name from, here's a hint: it's a short nickname from a certain character that most girls won't shut up about.
I'm sure you guys already knew that the television drama he's in is a parody of Grey's Anatomy, the dialogue is a reference to the actual dialogue from the series. And you can certainly understand why 'blue' is spelled a specific way... )
By the way, if you've read Operation: CHANGE, you'd remember what happened to the villains' supermarket a while back before construction began. :D
If you want to see a picture of Wish, go to my profile, or go to my Deviantart page, cartuneslover16; the picture there is called "TDA+KND: MY Wish". :)
