Little spoof I wrote on Spider-Man. Hope you enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Spider-Man.


"Look!"

"Up there!"

"It's Spider-Man!"

These words were all needed to be yelled to get everyone walking through the street to look above them. Sure enough, a familiar masked figure dressed in a red and blue suit came swinging through the air by the strings of web he shot from his hands. The crowd instantly began cheering. They were enormous fans of this guy. They trusted him to keep the city safe, which he always managed to do with the use of his spidey powers.

On realizing the cheers coming from below were for him, Spider-Man looked down, no longer focusing on which way he was swinging. It felt amazing that so many people excited to see him. He used his right hand while he was swinging from his left one to salute to them.

"Hey, guys!" he called cheerily. "Yeah, it's me! Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man-"

All of a sudden, Spidey smashed head on into a skyscraper that had been in his path without him noticing. The crowd he had been greeting let off loud cries over what they'd just seen him do. Bricks fell as a cloud of dust billowed from the spot where he'd crashed. When it finally cleared, everyone saw his waist and legs were sticking out of a large hole he had made in the building, about twenty storeys high.

Spidey groaned, rubbing his sore head before looking around at the room his upper body was stuck inside. He found himself in a small office where a really hot secretary was standing before him, an aghast look on her face.

"Hey, baby!" Spidey said in a flirtatious tone.

The secretary screamed, then slapped him hard across his face before exiting the room, leaving him stuck in the wall.

Spidey winced, placing his hand where he'd been hit, then tried to free himself from the wall. He attempted to pull himself forward to enter the room, but it was no good. He was well and truly stuck.

Then he remembered the crowd who he'd been waving to before he'd crashed. They'd surely help him, being huge fans of his.

"Hey, guys!" he yelled out. "Little help here!"

The crowd were still outside on the ground below, staring up towards where Spidey had gotten himself stuck. Quickly recovering from their shock, they pulled out cameras and cell phones. They started to take pictures of the superhero was trapped in the building, making no effort go up there to free him.

"Great!" Realizing his so-called fans weren't going to help him at all, Spidey angrily banged a fist on the floor...

...the impact of which was hard enough to loosen him from the hole...

...before he fell backwards to plummet all the way to the ground below. "ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"


SPIDER-MAN ATTACKS BUILDING

This was the misleading headline Peter Parker saw on the front page of the Daily Bugle as he went into work that afternoon. He was horrified to see below it was a clear picture of his alter-ego's lower body sticking out of the building he'd smashed into, obviously taken and sent in by one of the .

"I told you so!" The newspaper was thrown down to reveal the one holding it up was none other than Jonah J. Jameson. "I told you Spider-Man was a criminal! He attempted to destroy that building and terrorised a lady inside! I knew all along he was a public menace!"

"That's not true!" Peter spoke up, trying not to make it obvious he and Spider-Man were the same person. "He was not trying to destroy any building or scare anyone! It was an accident!"

"Shut up, Parker!" Jameson snapped. "You're fired!"


The end.