Miss Marie told me that I should keep a diary .I didn't know what that is so she explained me that it's a notebook where people write their thoughts and secrets . Also , nobody else should read my diary , it's secret , she said . Well , there's nothing I can do about Ragnarok reading it but he already knows all my thoughts so it doesn't matter . I think writing things down it's supposed to help me , something like when Maka taught me that if I feel down , I should write a poem . I'm not sure that helped me , I just depressed everyone...
Dear diary , I have a secret I can't talk to anyone about : I wish I never woke up . I was happy with dieing in my closest friend's arms, death seems so peaceful... I hate seeing Maka cry but I know she would get over my death , she has lots of friends , all of them better than me . I don't know why did Dr. Stein work so hard to save my life. Doesn't he know I betrayed him ? Doesn't he know I lied everybody ? Doesn't he realise that living with all this guilt it's worse than death for me ? I guess I have to live on on now and deal with the hate I will most likely get all my life because of my past mistakes .
I am really scared right now because I don't know what's going to happen to me .Will Lord Death really give me another chance ? Is he going to exile me like he said he would ? I know I probably deserve to be exiled but there's no way I'll survive on my own . I wish Maka was back already , I miss her ... and I really want a hug .
