It was a depressing sight as night came to pass, every last ray of light swallowed whole by a sea of shadows that polluted the sky. Clouds became thick with a toxic sludge that left it a paralyzed witness to the tragedy taking root under its solemn gaze. Water leaking from the depths of the clouds. The sky itself weeping. The only remnants of light were the short lived licks of the burning fire in the middle of the make-shift campsite, blazing sparks taking flight for the first time only to fizzle out their five seconds of life, only producing a small morsel of warmth for the people around it.
Jaune sat close to the fire with his knees brought up to his chest, his scratched chin dragged down, making the boy look akin to a turtle shielding itself from view. If there was one word to describe what the seven year old was going through for the moment, it was confusion. The emotions that burned within him reflected the sky, murky at best. Fires of anger, cold daggers of sorrow. A yearning deep within, screaming at him to cry. But he didn't want to. They wouldn't want him to cry.
He ran his grimy fingers through his previously blond locks, staring directly into the fire as his mind wondered. Today's events pass through his mind as a series of vivid and painful images, his uncle was probably looking for him now, worried about where Jaune had ran off too. He just couldn't take it, all the black suits and rain, staring at the names on the stone. The boy needed to be alone to... Cope.
It felt akin to a trance, a teasing dream that just couldn't be real. The sky felt fake in it's sympathies, the water was dry against his skin, the fire gave off falsehoods of heat and every comfort was a hollow lie that only that voice in the back of his mind cared to call out. The rest of him wanted to believe. For even a second.
There was a loud thumping noise beside the boy that ripped him from the painful memories clawing away for his attention, alerting him to the person that had seated themselves beside him. "Did the Blue Beetle get to you?" The high pitched female tone surprised him, turning his head slightly he was met with the sight of a very small girl, staring up at him through short raven locks. She looked to be much younger than him, her red beaten up shirt much too big for the girl and covering up her pale legs.
"B-blue Beetle? What's that?" He blurted out, not exactly sure how to talk to the little girl.
The girl met his confused stare with a wide smile and an unusual giggle, showing a missing tooth in her rows of white-ish chompers. "My momma says that they're small and nasty bugs that crawl into your brain and make you sad. She told me a lot about them"
"Uh… You think so?" Now he had the worry that there was a icky bug sleeping inside his brain.
"Well, you do look pretty sad…" Her lips faltered and eyes aligned into a thinking expression, as if inspecting Jaune. "I know! Let's ask Dr Chopper!" Before the boy could finish he found his vision clouded with dark blue cloth, soon making him realize that a large blue stuffed animal had just been shoved in his face. Pulling back slightly the boy saw a very worn out stuffed wolf, it's dark blue fur covered with stitches, an ear half chewed off and one eye missing. He certainly did not look like a certified doctor.
"Yep!" Proclaimed the wolf in a slightly higher pitched version of the girl's voice. "Big case of BB!" HIs paw found its way over Jaune's mouth as the girl pulled him back with a gasp.
"What are we gonna do, Doctor!?"
"There's only one thing we can do… HUGS!" And with that the doll was thrust upon Jaune as the girl practically pounced on the boy to wrap her arms around him. Despite the situation and the suddenness of it all, Jaune couldn't help but laugh out loud at the girl's antics.
"I think it's working, Dr. Chopper!" When Jaune simply nodded in response he received a very generous kiss on the nose from the Wolf Doctor, something about them being out of lolipops. "Another successful day for Dr. Chopper!" She held the wolf up in the air, which the nine year old marveled at. "Yep! Hugging is free of charge!" Before bringing the stuffed animal back into her chest and continuing to give the boy a cheerful stare. "I'm Ruby! What's your name?"
"O-oh, its... Its Jaune" Glancing away from the girl's practically shining face, his gaze returning to the ground. The cold touch of the rain water dripping down his back reminded him of why he was here, alone. Alone. Despite his best efforts tears started manifest in the corner of his eyes yet again, blending in with the rain pelting against his body. The stone. The names. The rain. The cold. It wouldn't leave his head.
"The BB got you good"
"Have your ever gotten bugs in your brain?" He was curious, how did she know so much about beetles? Or did her mother really tell her everything.
"Tons of times. Like, when I stubbed my toe on the door frame. Or when daddy caught me stealing cookies. Or when my big sis called me stupid, but that didn't last long because she said she was sorry and stole a cookie for me" She talked in an energetic voice that just dripped with pure joy, swinging her legs back and forth as they were too short to read the ground. "And there was that one time I got a big case of BB, when my mom…" She stopped talking, but she didn't stop swinging her legs.
Jaune understood the feeling. "Oh. Aren't you sad about it?"
"I cried a lot, even cookies couldn't help me, but then I told Chopper all this and he fixed me right up" Chopper was held up once more, slouching on the job. "He reminded me that it might look like she's gone, but she's here. Always here." She nodded to herself, grinning.
Jaune jumped up, his eyes darting around them in shock, only to become confusion when he couldn't find anything. "I don't see her!"
"She's not there, dummy!" Ruby reached forward to poke her own chest. "She's living in here, because that's where I always kept her. And as long I don't forget about her, she'll stay there"
Jaune squatted, eyes wide in amazement. "Wow! Your mom must be really small!"
"She's not small!"
"Then how does she get into your stomach?"
"That's the heart, not the stomach"
"Nu-uh"
"Ya-huh!" She crossed her arms. "Its magic an' stuff. Heart magic!"
"So, she's always there?" The boy scratched his chin, barely registering what she was saying. Why did life have to be so confusing. "Wait, do you think that maybe my mommy and daddy are living in MY heart!?"
"Duh! Where else would they go?"
"What about my seven sisters?"
"They live in all of those too!"
"Wow..."
"Here." Again, Chopper found his way into Jaune's lap, despite how much it exposed him to the rain. For a moment Jaune was confused, but Ruby simply showed him her bright smile and told him ''You can have him, but not for keepzies! I mean, you gotta make sure that the BB is away for a while..."
"But... He's yours"
"Then you take extra special care of him! I need to keep BBs away too" She waved around her finger as if to illustrate her point, but even to the nine year old it was clear. She didn't ask what happened, she didn't ask why. She just thought how she could help. "Friends share. We are friends, right?"
It was then he heard it, it was subtle and quiet at first, but soon the sky's laughter rose into an earth shaking roar. There wasn't any sympathy as the clouds descended upon the two, like a large serpent of emotion it slivered across the wind, rain unaffected by its presence. Shadows drowned out the scene, dragging his body far away from the moment, a familiar hollow ring inside his ear.
"The best."
"Promise?"
And like that the darkness shivered for once, her voice just as loud and just as distracting as the bitter memory. It was as if a light pierced through the veil of cruelty and took his tired body in its embrace, a warmth drying away the tears, dissolving the cold daggers stabbing into his heart.
He stuck his pinky finger out to wrap around her own, the rain finally starting to calm down and raise the sun for a while. The cold tears still stained his cheeks, but something about her smile made it hurt less. It still hurt, but he didn't have to go through it alone. "Pinky promise"
The darkness sneered, of course. But it's grip on his mind loosened, the weights on his heart became a bit lighter, and the shadows parted to return to the sky. The dissolving sea of emptiness revealed a new scene as it took it's place back in the sky, glaring down and mocking him. He was greeted solemnly by reality in a empty haze.
He was back at Haven, sinking into the fabric of the most comfortable couch he'd ever rested in. Though, the feeling of relaxation might have just been a side-effect of resting after such an arduous drain on his aura the night before. Pooling his aura into Weiss's bleeding body with a power he'd only found out he had at that moment was not the smoothest moment in his life. The first order of business was to start stretching his bones, testing his body, clicking his limbs; it felt better. To his right, he observed that Ren and Nora had left the comfort of the couch and gone off somewhere, maybe to get some air, maybe for some private time. I wish I knew the time. The blinds on the windows were closed, keeping the room strangled by darkness, making the raging fireplace look even brighter in comparison. But he was still not bothered enough to get up and close them.
After the battle of Haven all Jaune had heard from Qrow was how everyone needed to 'rest', how the journey's been hard, how he needs to drink a whole bar's worth of alcohol before he steps one toe in Ironwood's territory. Don't get Jaune wrong, he agreed whole heartedly with the idea, its just that after a year of traveling across Remnant, he'd learned that relaxing never really felt right. At least, not until you finish the conflict that put you in that position in the first place. Every second on your ass felt like a second wasted.
At first he'd tried reading, but he was still distracted by his thoughts, when he realised that he'd spent two hours trying to get through one sentence in 'Ninjas of Love' he called it quits. Next was simple, throwing a ball back and forth. Noise complaints and property damage abound. Stretches, eye spy, banging his head against the wall, ect. Everything came back to the same line of thinking from that voice. That voice saying he should be out there. That voice saying he's losing ground. That voice that doesn't care if their transport to Atlas is delayed by a week, if they can't fly there, then they should be swimming.
Maybe on some level it was guilt. A need to make it up to Pyrrha, for failing to save her, for not being the one to make Cinder pay. He always had that guilt, a trace of thinking to what he should have or could have done. But it wasn't that prevalent anymore, strangely enough. Maybe even Jaune Arc can get tired of beating himself up.
"Oh, did I wake you?" He didn't have the energy to jump, only now noticing the small figure that crouched by the fire, her red cloak making it very easy to blend in with the walls.
"I was just having one of those dreams" He yawned, leaning forward to allow the fire's warm embrace trickle down his cheeks. "Did I miss anything while I was out of it?"
To her credit, Ruby Rose managed to still keep her signature cuteness even while grimacing in fatigue. "Nothing important, unless you count my Uncle falling through a table after taking his eighth shot of alcohol" She sighed, sipping silently on a cold looking cup of hot chocolate. "Oscar's still out of it"
"He'll be okay. Oscar's a fighter who's been roughing it since he got involved in this mess" In all fairness, consider all that transpired in Haven's corrupted walls, having the only casualty being one guy exhausted into a mini-coma… Well, it could be worse. "Ozpin trusts him, so we know he'll pull through" She turned her head slightly, letting more of the fire flash her features every few seconds, her silver eyes sheltered by lowered ear lids. "Come on, sit with me"
An eyebrow raised in amusement. "What?"
"Sit with me. I'm gonna work my Arc Charm and turn that frown upside down, Craterface" While annoyed at the mention of her one time nick name, she didn't spare much hesitation before she walked over and plopped herself on the free space on the couch.
"Seriously?"
"What? Yang's the only one who can bring back nicknames?" He reached forward, brushing his hand over her hood, pushing the obstructing clothing down so he could see her face completely. "Now, what's wrong?"
She just shrugged, pulling her legs up to her chest. "I'm just bored"
"We have the relic. Cinder is dead. Lionheart has been outed as a criminal. The big bad bulky guy and his two cronies have been sent running home to Salem. And apparently the White Fang was getting crushed just outside all the action we were getting" Jaune tried his best to make himself look more… Professional, crossing one leg over the other, sitting straight and looking down at Ruby with such a mockingly intense expression that she could help but crack that blinding smile of hers. "But you're still blue. Got a bug rattling in your brain?"
Her giggle was short lived, a hint of recognition flashing across her face. "I don't know, Jaune. I mean, yeah, we've done a lot of good here and all, but…" She looked back to her knees, holding them tightly. "It just feel so empty. It feels lucky"
"Luck is bad now?" Jaune tilted his head, lost for what tone to speak in. He wanted to make her smile but feared that trying to joke would upset her. "Saved us, didn't it?"
"That's the problem!" Her voice raised, making Jaune instantly regret his words. "We survived because we were lucky. We 'won' because we were lucky. We were too weak to beat Cinder, to weak to stand a chance against Hazel, too uncoordinated to take care of Emerald and Mercury. We had to be saved by Raven. By the Mistral Police Force. We weren't good enough…" She spoke in a voice laced with disappointment, not teary eyed or emotional, just unenthused. "We didn't work together as a team, we didn't even put a dent in Salem's plans. I spent most of the battle knocked out while you were at Cinder's mercy"
"Maybe I shouldn't have rushed Cinder like that…" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, attempting to lighten the mood. "At least I took her attention off you"
Her hand squeezed his tightly. When did that get there? "You could have died"
"Yeah, I'm a Huntsman. It comes with the territory" Instead of questioning it, he squeezed her hand back, embracing the softness of her pale fingers. "We're always risking our neck, the only thing we can do is try our best"
"It's just…" She tipped over her body, letting her cheek rest against his shoulder. As friends, the two had shared similar gestures often, but never found it as strange as others might. "I feel like we haven't accomplished anything yet. Like we're… Insulting those who died for us" His free hand came up to cup her cheek as the thoughts of Penny and Pyrrha began to flood in. "I feel so scared. I can get through that, I can still fight even if I'm afraid. I just don't feel like I'm doing as much as I should be doing. After Penny and Pyrrha, I just wanted payback, to make things right. Every time I try to ignore the feeling it just gets worse" Her eyes returned to look at him. "How do I save people from monsters, if I'm not strong enough to fight them?"
Jaune had never seen Ruby so vulnerable before. Sure, many times before she'd let her heart leak out her fears and doubts, but she usually managed to carry that aura of optimism and confidence even when saying how scared she was. "Hit them harder?"
"Jaune, I'm serious!"
"I was just spitballing…" He let out a sigh, as much as he liked to pretend, he was not good at heart-to-heart talks. Never knew what to say. Maybe he just needed a little inspiration. "You know, Pyrrha once told me about how much she hated her success" Ruby didn't interrupt, but her eyebrows were raised as Jaune hesitantly continued. "She hated being the 'Invincible Girl'. It made people treat her differently, it put her on a pedestal she didn't want to be on, it scared her. She wanted to fight and train hard to help people, but then she felt like she had to do it all, put herself at risk, train every day; just to live up to a title other people gave her for being good"
His hand came down to squeeze her shoulder. "She was scared. So, so scared of not living up to that expectation, of failing everyone. Afraid that she just wasn't good enough and her life was a mistake because of that. She was so scared she…" His breath hitched, pain sinking into his words. "She made some decisions that led to her being taken away from us"
"Jaune-"
"Let me finish" He fought to stop his voice was cracking as he recalled his final moments with Pyrrha "I might never fully understand why she went to fight Cinder, but I do understand that I never want to go through that again and I fear that happening to any of you…" He paused, pursed his lips and shook his head. "Believe me, Ruby, I know how you feel. There wasn't a day after that where I didn't think that I'm not doing enough to make up for it. I'm sick of losing people and being powerless to stop it. I want to take the battle to Salem and give her a few bruises, maybe we'll get to do that someday, but just because we can't do that now doesn't mean we haven't accomplished anything"
"I suppose that surviving means something…"
"We're Huntsman, Ruby. Weiss is still alive. Haven is still standing. Blake is back and thanks to all this a few more families in Mistral are still whole tonight. That is an accomplishment, that means we're doing something right" He managed to coax a smile out of her, all teeth showing this time. "I'm just saying, it isn't a failure to not save the world with one battle. My dad once told me that the best victories can be the ones that just remind others that the world isn't ending today"
"The world isn't ending today?"
"And the weather forecast says that the skies clear for at least the rest of the week" Silence fell between them, the two just sharing an awkward look as either waited for the other to say something.
"Jaune… Does it still hurt? With Pyrrha not being here anymore"
"It always hurts to think about" Another pause, his eyes narrowing as a thought came to mind. A memory. A phrase to steal. "I cried a lot, even cookies couldn't help me, but then I told Chopper all this and he fixed me right up" The blatant stealing did not fall on deaf ears, Ruby's eyes widening in recognition. "He reminded me that it might look like she's gone, but she's here. Always here"
"C-Chopper?" She could barely speak, hardly believing that Jaune was the same little Jaune she'd comforted back when she was… What, five?
He had to admit, years had past after that fateful meeting, but the two really should have recognised each to when they reunited at Beacon. In Ruby's defence, Jaune had gotten much taller and hairier. "Hold up a sec…" Jaune reached beside the couch where his bag sat, his hands digging through the contents until it pulled out the prize.
An old stuffed blue bear, with one chewed off ear and an eye hanging on to the fabric of the left temple. "He's seen better days…"
"Heh, I did the best I could to keep him together. He's helped me through some rough times" Jaune patted the stuffed animal's head playfully. "Now, I think somebody has a bad case of BB-"
WHAM!
"What was that for!?" Jaune's cheek burned red with pain from Ruby's slap, the girl suddenly looking very childishly angry. Not like the fury of someone offended, but the glares of a child teetering on the edge of a tantrum.
"You never gave him back, you jerk!" Ruby puffed out her cheeks, poking him harmlessly in a way that only made him smirk. "You're lucky Dad got me Zwie afterwards, or I would have hunted you down!"
"Oh, common, I didn't know where you were!" Their heads collided in a rather ridiculous looking pushing war.
"You could have called" She pushed him down, their noses pressing against one another.
"I was seven. We both know I didn't know how to use a phone" He pushed back, gaining some even ground with his 'rival'.
"I thought he was torn up and made into a bean bag chair!"
"I took good care of him!" The two began to raise their voices in a needlessly aggressive manner, no matter what they were actually saying.
"Sowed him up?"
"Every week"
"Stuffing?"
"Plenty!
"Well, THAT's good to hear. Good job!" She spat.
"Thank you!" He growled
"YOU'RE A COOL GUY!"
"YOU'RE NOT SO BAD YOURSELF!"
"OKAY!"
"RIGHT!"
"Wanna stop knocking our heads together?" Jaune groaned as his head began to ache.
"Yeah, it kind of hurts" Ruby admitted quietly.
The two fell into silence as well as each other's arms, shuffling in their position, but making no effort to actually separate. Ruby was the first to speak after a while, an idea coming to mind. "So… Jaune Arc, huh?" Jaune looked amused. "Short, sweet, rolls off the tongue. Ladies love it "
"Do they?"
She pressed her lips against his cheek, curling up against him as crimson splotches stained both of their cheeks. "This one does at least"
After gaining some more confidence, Jaune cheekily asked "So, this is a thing now?"
Ruby giggled, that previous weight of the past few days seemed to finally break away from her face. "I don't know, want to play 'Will-They-Won't-They' for a while?"
"Nah, sounds like a lot of effort" He leaned back, pulling Ruby up to let her smaller body rest on him. "I feel like relaxing with a cute girl today"
"I'm cute?" Ruby flushed, the two's lack of social skills rearing it's head.
"Very"
"Wanna… Do you… Maybe… Uh… Kiss?" She coughed into her hand, stammering out an adorable display of stutters. "I mean, that's what people in a thing do, right?" She laughed nervously, of course they did.
"Well, we can try" He gulped as she all-to-eagerly leaned closer, their eyes locked on one another, trading whirling emotions of nervousness. They inched closer at a snails pace, to a point where if there was any witnesses to this event, there's be a rampant complaint for them to 'Get on with it'. Lips trembled, breath could be felt and the magic was in the air… So of course both awkward teens shrank away from each other, leaving the kiss incomplete before it even started. "We can work up to that"
"Yeah, we have time" The two took a moment to laugh, managing to surprise even themselves with how awkward they still were in their spare time. "Not like the world's ending today" She went back to resting her head on his chest, happy to just sit and cuddle. They didn't have to pick up the pace or anything at the moment. They just needed to be comfortable.
"Glad you feel the same way"
It was relaxing, for both of them. A weight off the mind. A comfort that didn't even fade when the fire eventually faded out, leaving them in perpetual darkness. Sometimes, you couldn't win. Sometimes you can't get the results you wanted from the day. Sometimes, the people around you won't have the answers you want. But sitting here in each other's arms, on a equal playing field, the two were reminded.
Sometimes it's best to simply make someone see that they're not alone in this.
