Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

Summery: Sango's had it so she takes the ultimate revenge on Miroku. He'll learn to not have messed with her!

Beware: Inuyasha will actually show that he has some brains in this fic

This is what results when I get extremely bored. Poor, not so innocent, characters pay the price in my simple one-shot. Enjoy is I-really-need-to-get-a-life fanfic.


Inuyasha and the gang were camping that night while looking for Naraku (this is after the festival episode I never saw cause Adult Swim took it off). Kagome had cooked a dinner consisting of Ramen and they all were huddled around the campfire.

Inuyasha, as usual, sat in the shadows with his beloved Tetseiga while he idly listened to the others. Kikyo's final death had really hit him hard and made him reconsider some things. Like Kagome.

She had always been there, since he woke up. She trusted him to protect her and she gave up something of herself each time he had went after Kikyo. He watched her through half closed eyes now and wondered. Kikyo had been his first friend 'cause they both had needed something. Him a friend, her, a way out.

But in the end they hadn't trusted enough and she had died and he had been stuck to a tree. Maybe his feelings for Kagome were the real thing and not the first time thing he had felt for Kikyo. It was a thought. There was a smack and a thud as a body hit the ground and he shifted his gaze to a fuming Sango.

Now that couple was completely naïve and as hilarious as they came. The cursed monk/perverted and the demon slayer. Everyone may think he was an idiot and didn't notice these things but he noticed more than they would ever think. Both had genuine feelings for each other they just refused to accept them.

Sango because she viewed him as a womanizing pervert and him because he didn't want to leave behind someone who loved him when the wind tunnel engulfed him. He may ask every female on two legs to bear his child but Inuyasha knew that was only a ploy to get into bed with them.

He would never leave a child to face what he had. Inuyasha contained a snicker. He had a feeling things with them were going to come to a boiling point soon and he hoped he was around to watch it. Then there came a screech that made him flatten his ears and growl.

Sango had uttered a shrill cry that was heard for miles and the sheer anger in it made demons and humans alike run as far and as fast as possible. Inuyasha looked over to see an interesting position. It seems the idiotic monk had dipped his fingers a little too intimately if you catch my drift (in other words he rubbed in the front instead of the back), and the boiling point Inuyasha had been thinking of came.

Kagome ran over to him with Kilala and Shippo not far behind her. She dove into his lap while Shippo and Kilala huddled under his knee. Inuyasha stared at Kagome for a moment before turning back to the couple.

Sango was currently beating the life out of Miroku and it wasn't a pretty sight. He could see that she would actually kill the monk and, sad to say, they actually needed him if they were to kill Naraku.

So he gently/reluctantly extracted Kagome and was sure not to step on either of the cowering demons on the ground as he stood. He quickly went to over to the battleground and dragged Sango away. She tried to turn her affection towards him but he wasn't half-demon for nothing.

He knocked her Hiraikotsu from her grip and was able to keep her from doing bodily harm, "cool it Sango. Go to the stream and take a cold bath. As much as the monk deserves to be killed we need him so he has to remain alive. Go cool off while I take care of this pile of mush."

Sango was taking deep breaths and she nodded to Inuyasha, grabbed some clothes, and then jogged off to the stream. Inuyasha didn't realize that Kagome, Shippo, and Kilala were staring at him in shock while he went over to test the monk's vital signs. In other words he poked Miroku and when he moaned, deemed him alive. He turned to Kagome, "you might want to patch him up.

Don't want him to be taken hostage 'cause he can't protect himself." Kagome nodded dumbly and got out her medical kit. It was awhile later when Miroku awoke, received a splintering lecture from Kagome, and fell into an uncommonly deep sleep since he did need to heal.

Sango had returned and had stayed on the opposite side of the fire, strangely docile to the wounded monk. Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder what she had planned.

Meanwhile, a few miles away

Sesshomaru was still rubbing his ears after that earsplitting shriek had nearly blown out his eardrum. Rin, his mate and turned dog demon, was still chuckling. Because she had been turned her hearing wasn't as good as his since that would only come with time.

She hadn't been particularly affected and was chuckling with the fact that Sesshomaru had nearly collapsed. "Poor baby." She said gently rubbing his ears. They sat at their own campsite, where they had been forced to stop when Sesshomaru was becoming disoriented.

Sesshomaru glared at Rin, "that fucking hurt so quit laughing." Rin chuckled and continued to massage his ears, lulling him into sleep, "not on your life boy-o. Not on your life."

Back at the doomed monks camp

Sango waited patiently. Since it seemed that none of her slaps or beatings had gotten through that monk's thick skull she was going to use a different tactic. So she waited until the fire was down to its coals and only produced a dull glow, Inuyasha was in his tree supposedly dosing, and Kagome, Kilala, and Shippo were asleep in Kagome's sleeping thingy.

Then she struck. She took some hocked twin blades that Kagome had brought back from her era called scissors and crept towards the dead-to-the-world monk. Inuyasha watched from his tree to make sure she didn't try to kill Miroku again.

Sango gently took Miroku's hair, which was confined to a ponytail, and took the scissors just above the tie and 'snip', it was gone. Miroku's secret vanity she only knew about because she had spied on him. Now he had no hanging hair since she had cut off all the excess.

Trying hard not to laugh manically she crept back over to her spot, tossed the hair into the fire except for a single lock, and stirred the fire until the hair remained no more. She then stashed the lock in one of her slayer outfit's secret pockets and, mentally laughing her head, went to sleep.

She couldn't wait until morning. Inuyasha himself was having a hard time not cracking up. Morning was going to be interesting.

Morning

Miroku slowly awoke and realized it was morning. He must have slept through the night after the beating Sango had given him. Not a smart move but an enjoyable one at that. He yawned and stretched, wincing, and as was his normal morning routine, made to take his hair out of its tail and brush it.

His beautiful hair. Heloved itmore than he loved women and that was saying something.He reached back there and grabbed the mass of hair. It wasn't there. He blinked and reached again. It wasn't there. Don't panic, he soothed himself as he grabbed a bowl and poured some water from his flask into it. What he saw shocked him to the core.

"WHERE'S MY HAIR! IT'S GONE! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR IS GONE!" The others awoke quickly and stifled laughter and astonishment. Miroku actually cried, yet, no one could find his hair. They went on the road later wondering what had happened to Miroku's hair. Only Inuyasha and Sango knew and they weren't telling.

Sesshomaru and Rin

"God damn it, I'm going to kill that entire camp! I need my fucking hearing!" Rin stifled a chuckle. It seemed that whoever had screamed in the morning had further impaired her Fluffy's hearing. She just patted him on the shoulder while he rubbed his ears and trudged on.

This was hilarious.

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Chrys signing off