(Disclaimer: If a mysterious boy comes up to you and asks if you'd like to travel with him and his tiger... SAY YES. SAY YES.)
BEEP-BEEP. BEEP-BEEP.
A hand shot out from underneath the covers and slammed down hard on the alarm clock's Snooze Button. The hand flailed about in the air for a moment, before ripping off the sheets, revealing a teenage girl with messy blonde hair. She groaned for a moment, still sleepy, before tumbling out of bed. The room was pink, various shades of it mixed with the slightest bit of purple. She pulled on some clothes- a simple pair of jeans and a white T-shirt. Quickly and efficiently making her bed, she grabbed a pair of shoes off the rack from the corner of the room, and walked out of the room, flicking off the light as she went. A middle-aged woman, still in her pajamas, bustled about the kitchen, making breakfast. She glanced up as the girl stepped into the room, and sat down in a chair.
"Morning, Rose," she told her, and served her some toast. Rose grabbed it and hungrily chowed down.
"G'morning, Mum."
She slipped on a jacket, and exited the house. It sat on a slight rise, just above the other houses in the neighbourhood. The sign in front of the arrangement of houses and apartments read, in big, bold letters 'POWELL ESTATE'. Rose strolled down to the bus stop, and casually waited for a bus to arrive. A few stragglers were seated around the bus stop, but she ignored them, fixated on her mobile phone. A text had just arrived from her friend, and she was focused on replying to her. A bus pulled up, and Rose climbed on, and sat down in a seat, still reading her social media updates. The bus chugged along the road, stopping only to pick up the customary early-morning workers. Rose glanced out the grimy bus window, noting her reflection. She could use a trip to the hair salon, the dye was wearing off, and the brown was showing through. She exited the bus as it pulled up at Henrick's. She pushed open the glass double doors, and began her job.
The day passed, as it usually does. Rose showed the customers at the store to the areas that they wanted. She collected cash at the register, and filed reports. At lunchtime, she met up with her boyfriend, Mickey, in the square and they ate together, teasing each other as they did. As the day wound to a close, an announcement came over the Tannoy.
"This is a customer announcement. The store will be closing in five minutes. Thank you."
Rose headed towards the exit, and a guard shook a plastic bag at her. She noticed, and took it, telling the guard that she'd deliver it to the Chief Electrician right then. She dashed across to the lift and took it to the basement. It was dark and gloomy down there, and Rose was more than a little spooked. She crept along the darkly illuminated hallway, calling softly.
"Wilson? Wilson, I've got the lottery money!"
There was a noise behind her, and she spun around. There was nothing there.
"Wilson! Where are you? This isn't funny! Wilson?"
She rapped for a moment on his office door. There was no reply, but a crash echoed from one of the storerooms. She headed directly for it.
"Wilson? It's Rose."
She carefully opened the storeroom door, and flicked on the lights. There was absolutely no one in there. Shop dummies stood in various states of dress, and boxes were strewn across the room. Wire hangers hung loosely on racks.
"Hello?" she called, and made her way across the storeroom, her gaze searching the area. Still, no one. "Is anyone down here?"
There was a creak, and she glanced in the direction of it. A shop dummy had been moved. But still, no sign of human life.
And that was when the dummies began to move.
She backed away slowly, not exactly afraid. It was probably a student prank, after all. But they continued for her, moving slightly unsteadily. Plastic dummies were approaching from all directions.
"Yeah, this is really funny," she informed them sarcastically. "Can you please stop this now?"
The dummies didn't listen, and she was now stuck between a coat rack and the wall. A narrow water pipe pressed at her head. The dummies were surrounding her, and she began to feel slightly afraid. "Who are you?"
And then a tiny hand grabbed hers. She looked down, and saw a small boy with spiky blonde hair that seemed to defy gravity, staring at her with piercing blue eyes. He was clutching a stuffed tiger with one hand.
"Run!" he told her, and the water pipe exploded. He gripped her arm tightly, and they were off. He tore across the room with inhuman speed, practically dragging her behind him. They reached the lift, and dashed inside. He jabbed the 'Close' button frantically, but the plastic shop dummies were advancing.
"Get them, Hobbes!" he yelled at the tiger. Rose couldn't have been entirely sure what happened, but the plastic dummies were suddenly MOVING BACK from the stuffed tiger, which had inexplicably moved across the lift, and then the doors were closing, and a plastic arm lay on the ground next to them.
"What?" Rose managed weakly. The boy turned towards her.
"Oh, I almost forgot."
He hit her on the head with a rubber hammer. Rose stumbled back, shocked.
"What was that-!"
She then noticed a tiger standing on two legs, leaning against the side of the lift, and quickly changed tack.
"What are you?"
"A tiger," the tiger replied calmly. "Hello. I'm Hobbes."
"A...tiger..." Rose was having trouble getting her mind around this.
"What, you were just faced with homicidal shop models, and you're surprised by a talking tiger?"
Rose blinked. "They aren't homicidal, it was just a student prank... wasn't it?" She wasn't entirely sure. What else could it be, though?
The boy gave a superior snort, and tossed her the plastic arm from the floor. "Does this feel like a prank to you?"
She ran her hands over it. "What in the-"
The lift dinged, and shuddered to a halt. Rose stumbled out of the lift, still staring in shock at the boy and his tiger. He gave her a little shove towards the exit at the back, and she immediately started walking.
"But what are you doing here?" she asked them.
"Trying to get rid of them, of course," Hobbes told her. He held up an object that looked vaguely like a remote control, but with a lot more buttons. "The controller is around here somewhere, and we're here to stop the Earth being destroyed." He glanced over at the boy. "This is the, what?"
"Seventy-th time," he completed. He opened the exit door, and gestured with his hand out the door. "What was your name?"
"Rose," Rose told him. "Rose Tyler."
He gave her a small wave. "Nice to meet you, Rose Tyler. I'm Calvin." He grabbed the remote control from Hobbes with a swift movement, and held it up, looking slightly deranged. "Run for your life!"
With that, he slammed the exit door, leaving Rose and Hobbes staring at the door.
"You'd better run," advised Hobbes. "When he says something like that, it usually means one of three things; one, there's an immense danger and he's being all noble and sacrificial; two, he's about to go work on a birthday surprise for someone and doesn't want us to see, or three, he's about to blow something up. Since two is a bit unlikely, we really should move."
"Oh!" Rose exclaimed, and tucked the plastic hand into her belt. "Let's move, then."
They dashed out into the darkened street, Rose glancing quickly behind her. The looming figure of the Henrick's building was still standing. Nothing notable had happened. They had reached two blocks over when the explosion occurred.
It was spectacular, really. Plumes of red-white flame spurted out of the windows, seemingly in slow motion. The roof collapsed into shreds, the shrapnel flying every which way.
"That's my cue, then," decided Hobbes, brushing off dust from his fur. He extended a paw to Rose, who shook it tentatively. "It was nice to meet you, Rose. We might see you later, then?"
He winked at her, and strode off into the darkness.
Did a stuffed tiger just flirt with me? she wondered.
The next day, Rose was lying on the couch, watching the news. They were displaying the results of Calvin meeting an explosives detonator. Her mother was on the phone with a friend.
"-I know. It's on the telly. It's everywhere. She's lucky to be alive. Honestly, it's aged her. Skin like an old bible. Walking in now you'd think I was her daughter."
Rose's boyfriend, Mickey, walked in the door. He was a dark skinned, close-shaven man, and greeted Rose's mum with a wide smile and a hug.
"Hi, Jackie! Just came in to say hello to Rose." He turned to the aforementioned girl, who was staring absently at the television screen. "Why didn't you call? You could have been dead!"
Rose waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine! I'm alive, don't make a fuss."
"What was it, though? Did you see what caused it."
Rose closed her eyes for a moment. "No. I was outside the shop. I didn't see anything."
They continued with the idle small talk for a moment, before kissing. Mickey made for the door. His gaze fell on the plastic dummy arm, and he swooped it up, pretending it was strangling him. Rose laughed in slight amusement, and he dropped it, laughing also.
"Bye, babe. See you later."
And he left.
The day after that, Rose's alarm went off again. She hopped out of bed, intending to go to work, but then remembered.
"Oh. It's blown up."
She sighed, and instead pulled on a fluffy pink bath robe, and strolled casually into the kitchen. Her mum brandished a phone at her.
"Rose, you should sue for trauma! You need some money for a job, Shirleen knows a person…"
"Not now, mum," Rose told her.
She walked into the hallway, intending to pick up the newspaper from where it had been thrown carelessly yesterday, but paused when she heard a rattling noise coming from outside the door. She listened intently. Yes, there was definitely someone (or something) there. The cat flap, long forgotten because of the fact there were no cats in the Tyler household, was jittering slightly. A puff of smoke came from where a screw was, and when it dissipated, the screw was gone. This was repeated several times, and the cat flap fell to the floor with a loud clatter. Rose snatched it up, and bent down to look through the gap in the door.
An unmistakable head with spiky blonde hair peered back at her. She yelped, and staggered backwards a few steps, before yanking open the door and glaring at Calvin, who stood there, clutching a water gun.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded.
"I live here!" Rose shot back.
"Well, what did you go and do that for?"
"Because I do. I'm only at home because someone blew up my job," she said accusingly, pointing a finger at him.
Hobbes stepped up next to him, and waved at Rose, before turning to Calvin. "We must have got the wrong signal. Unless she's plastic...?"
Calvin tapped Rose on the forehead, and shook his head. "Nope. She's a complete bonehead. Well, we must be off." He turned to leave, but Rose gripped him firmly by the arm and dragged him inside.
"No. Not until you tell me what's going on here."
Calvin protested weakly, but the door shut with a loud bang. Hobbes slipped through the cat flap, and followed them.
"Who is it?" Jackie called from her room.
"Boy scout, selling cookies," Rose called back, without missing a beat. "He wanted a drink of water."
"Boy scout?" Calvin mouthed, and waved quickly at Jackie while passing her room. She blinked.
"Oh, aren't you just the cutest little thing!" she cooed.
"Yes, I am," Calvin responded, looking quite pleased.
"I just want to cuddle you to death!"
"...no."
Calvin exited stage left, and Hobbes followed, wolf whistling at Jackie, and blowing her a kiss. In the kitchen, Rose poured two cups of milk, and a bowl of it for Hobbes, and pushed it at them. Hobbes grinned in appreciation, and began lapping it up.
"We should go to the police. Seriously. All of us."
Calvin paid her no heed, flipping through magazines and examining things on the shelves.
"They said on the news that they found a body."
Hobbes spotted a pack of cards and unsuccessfully attempted to shuffle them. The cards went flying. There was a scuffle behind them, and he turned around.
"Rose," Hobbes queried. "Do you have any cats?"
"Apart from you? No."
She came in from the other room, just as the plastic arm from the other day launched itself up at Calvin's face. He gargled for a moment, before attempting to wrestle it off. Hobbes noticed, and grabbed the arm as well. They weren't having much luck, and it was slowly attempting to strangle him. Rose was oblivious.
"I told Mickey to chuck that out. You're all the same. Give a man a plastic hand. Anyway, I don't even know your name. Calvin, what was it?"
Hobbes finally succeeded in prising it off Calvin's neck, and it flew towards Rose. It attached itself to her face, and she screamed. Calvin grabbed his water gun, and fired it at the arm. Instead of spurting out water, it somehow emitted a flash of blue light. The plastic appendage fell to the floor, motionless.
Hobbes picked it up, laughing slightly. "There, you see? 'Armless."
Calvin snatched it up off him. "Oh yeah?"
There was a resounding smack as plastic hit fur.
"You can't just go swanning off like this!" Rose yelled as the boy and the tiger descended the stairwell on the side of the complex. Calvin shrugged carelessly.
"Yes, we can. See, this is us. Swanning off. See ya."
"But that arm was moving! It tried to kill me!"
"Wow, this girl is a genius," he told Hobbes.
"You can't walk away! That's not fair! You've got to tell me what's going on!" she protested.
"No, we don't."
They were outside the block of flats, now, Rose hurrying to catch up to the demented adrenaline of a six-year-old boy and a tiger.
"All right, then. I'll go to the police." she challenged. "I'll tell everyone. You said, if I did that, I'd get people killed. So, your choice. Tell me, or I'll start talking."
Hobbes laughed. "Is that supposed to sound impressive."
"Uh, yeah."
"It doesn't work."
"Who are you!" she threw up her hands in exasperation.
"We're Calvin and Hobbes."
"Yeah, but Calvin what? Don't you have a last name?"
"Well, I did, but Hobbes ate it."
"Wait, WHAT?"
"So, Calvin, then."
"Hello!" he waved the plastic arm at her.
"Come on, then. You can tell me. I've seen enough. Are you, like, some division of the X-Files?"
"No way," Hobbes scoffed. "We're just travellers. We tend to get caught up in these sorts of things, though."
"Don't tell her anything," Calvin warned the tiger. "She's a SLIMY GIRL, remember?"
"I'm not slimy," Rose protested. "But what have I done wrong? How comes those plastic things keep coming after me?"
"They weren't coming after you, they were coming after us. You were an accident. It was after us not you. Last night, in the shop, we were there, you blundered in, almost ruined the whole thing. This morning, we were tracking it down, it was tracking us down. The only reason it fixed on you is 'cos you've met us."
"So, the world revolves around you two."
"Sort of, yeah," Hobbes replied.
"Your egos are way too big."
"Sort of, yeah."
They were in the middle of a park now. All three of them stopped, facing each other.
"Tell me what's happening."
Calvin sighed, and relented. "It's living plastic. The thing controlling it projects life into the arm. I cut off the signal, dead. It's controlling it through though control. We're trying to stop the thing from overthrowing the human race and destroying you all."
"I'm supposed to believe that."
"Sort of, yeah," Hobbes told her.
"Really though, Calvin. Who are you? Why is there a talking tiger here?"
"Do you know like we were saying about the Earth revolving?" he told her. "It's like when you were a kid. The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can't feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour, and I can't feel it. My timeline is different to yours. I've been six for hundreds of years, and the only way I've managed to stay sane is because I've had my best friend here with me. We save the world together. Me and Hobbes." He stepped next to his friend. "We're falling through space, him and me, clinging to the knowledge that we're doing something good, and if we let go... That's who I am. Now, forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home."
He turned to a corner of the street that had a cardboard box sitting on it, and Hobbes followed, glancing back in her direction once. Rose Tyler turned towards home and set off, but she looked back once. Just once. And in that one moment she looked back, the cardboard box was gone.
(A/N: This was originally posted in my Big Blue Box of Randomness, and is a direct parody of the Doctor Who episode, as you can plainly see. This stretched out much longer than I thought it would, so I'm splitting it up into two parts. Please, PLEASE tell me if you want me to continue. If I do get enough positive feedback, I'm going to post part two next week. See you then, I guess.
~Kitty)
