Tachikomatic Fun! By Bloo96

This story was inspired by the short "Tachikomatic Days" I do not own any of the ghost in the shell characters, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda! You know the drill.

It is morning and all over section nine it is quiet, until...,

"Comrades! I have good news!" shouts a tachikoma standing on a box

"What is it now?" asked a tachikoma

"You're getting decommissioned! That is good news, now we can get some peace and quiet for a change," said another

A group forms around the box

"No, I'm not getting decommissioned," said the tachikoma on the box

"Well then what is the good news?" asked a tachikoma

"Well, I was spying on the major and,…"

"You what!" interupted a tachikoma

"Oh no, not again" said another

"What's wrong with spying on the major?" asked the one on the box

"You idiot, that might be one of the reasons we were sent back to the lab" explained a tachikoma

A tachikoma is banging its head against a wall

"Why,. Do,. We,. Always,. Pay,. For,. That,. Morons,. Mistakes!"

The other tachikomas watch as a hole begins to appear in the wall

"Great, now we have to explain why there is a hole in the wall" said one of them

"You guys are just paranoid, the major wouldn't send us back to the lab, not after we have proven our selves useful"

"Proven our selves useful! We all died! How did we prove our usefulness" asked a tachikoma

"We're useful" said the one on the box

"Yeah, as shields" said a tachikoma

"Not to mention decoys" said another

"Or the ones that have to do all the dirty work" another one explained

"Wow talk about low self esteem" said one of them

"Look guys I just wanted to tell you some good news"

"What is good news when we might get sent back to the lab again" said a tachikoma

"Yeah and if we do get sent back to the lab I'll make sure that you pay with a Trojan virus" said another

"Trojan Virus? What's that?" asked the tachikoma on the box

"Oh nothing, it's just the most feared virus that you can get infected with" said a tachikoma

"First you get a ton of random errors, then you go blind and then you get so corrupted to the point that your walking backwards when you want to move foreword and,.. Backwards when you want to go backwards" explained another

"Yeah and when you try to shoot, your gun jams up and explodes" said another tachikoma

"Boom!" shouted one of them

"yeah and then finally you get a fatal error and your system shuts down, next thing you know your being melted down to build a Toyota Pickup truck, or even worse" said a tachikoma

"What's worse than that!" asked the tachikoma on the box

"Microsoft buys you, rips you apart to build apple computers!" said one of them

"Ha! Now I know that you are making it all up besides if it is true, you can never get access to that type of virus" said the one on the box

"Oh yeah" said one of them

It holds up a disk in its claw

"Then what do you call this" it said

"You wouldn't" said the one on the box

"Try me" replied the one with the disk

The tachikoma on the box looks around for a quick exit

"Oh gee, look at the time, I have to go,. Because,. Because, I'm late for target practice, yeah that's it target practice, see you guys later!" it said

The tachikoma jumps off the box and runs down the hall

"There's nothing on that disk is there" said a tachikoma

"Nope, just Batou's music, besides we can't even get infected with a Trojan, it's only a computer email virus, but at least we finally now have some peace and quiet" said the tachikoma holding the disk

"That's true" said one of them

The major walks in

"Well, I have some good news for you guys, we just got this fresh from the lab this morning," she said

A tachikoma walks in

"I want you guys to make it feel like its home," she said as she left

The tachikoma stands in front of the group, it looks around and notices the box, and it jumps on top of it and says

"Greetings comrades! I am Tachikoma unit number nine!"

"Oh god not another one!"

Said a tachikoma collapsing to the ground.

The End!

Yes that's right, I really have that type of time to think of and type this story

"I HAVE NO LIFE!"

Remember, I am an obsessed fan who happens to own a few too many DVD's

I'm sure to write more Tachikomatic fun stories because "I HAVE NO LIFE!"

Oh yeah before I forget I am thinking of writing a crossover of ghost in the shell and Hellsing I'm not sure how I'm going to make it work, but I'll worry about that at a latter date.

Till then Cya!

Bloo96

((RESET THE WORLD!)) >:P