Game of Thrones – Fear The Big Brother

Modern!Times 5+ 1 Robb is too protective


1– Sansa (and Daenerys)

To be completely honest, Robb didn't think he would ever stop feeling guilty about what went down between Sansa and that fucking prick Joffrey. He had fooled no one but Sansa with her innocence and untouched spirit, and of course the more their parents, Jon, Robb himself, and even the little ones told Sansa it was a mistake, Joffrey was a piece of shit, the more she wanted to be with him.

In the aftermath, not even loudmouth Arya was cruel enough to tell Sansa she had told her so, the scars Sansa bore were enough, and the family embraced and cared for her as she tried to heal.

As part of her healing, she joined a support group for abused women. Their parents had been the loudest supporters, with the kids only a step behind, and slowly but surely, Sansa grew and flourished as she started to move on from Joffrey. Robb just wished it didn't involve HER.

Her, Daenerys Targaryen, Jon's aunt (though she was a little younger than him), rich, beautiful, and notorious for having killed her older brother Viserys in self defense one night when he tried to assault her. She had been a long time member of Sansa's support group, and from the way the red head gushed about her, Robb would've thought she was made of gold or something. Jon could only snort when he talked about their 'friendship', but what did he know. Robb was the wordly one, he knew what was up, he knew what a girl like Daenerys would want from his sweet, gentle sister. He knew!

Sansa wasn't amused when he proposed to their parents that he accompany the two girls when they went on their first date together. Or their second, or third, or any other. Their mom had been so overcome with gratitude she could only bow her head and hide her sobs with her hand over mouth (the sound was a little odd, but Robb was sure she was crying, what else could she be doing?), while their father just looked grave and austere as ever as he glanced from the fuming Sansa to the straight backed Robb.

"I suppose it could not hurt" – Catelyn made the oddest noise just then, Sansa huffed and whirled around murmuring to herself, and Ned's lips twitched in a way Robb knew meant he wholly agreed with and supported Robb acting like a good big brother.

It was rather difficult to convince Sansa that his presence was necessary, but if he hadn't been around, Daenerys would have kissed her! On the lips! Oh, the cheek on her! Not on his watch!


2– Arya (and Gendry)

For kind of a long time, Robb could've sworn Arya was ace. For reals, all the girl could talk about was how she was going to join the army when she was old enough, and doing track, and sparring with Jon, and on and on, never once mentioning a boy or girl a little more than the other, wrinkling her nose whenever Jon, Robb and Theon talked about love and sex, rolling her eyes at Sansa's romantic heart, and overall just seemingly uninterested in the entire concept.

Until HIM.

Him being Joffrey's half brother on their father's side (one of many, many, many out of wedlock kids Robert Baratheon bore, or so Robb had heard it say), and the Starks' new yard boy for the Summer. Despite his father's immense wealth, Gendry told Ned on his interview that he wanted to make his own money, not rely on his father's forever. Besides, he liked yard work, and he needed something to do over the Summer.

Robb had liked him fine, they were close in age (though Gendry was actually a year or two older), he was quiet like Jon but sarcastic and dry like Theon. All in all, there was little to dislike about the kid, and Catelyn seemed to adore his work, even after only a few days, and Ned spoke to him often about sports, from what Robb could tell. Sansa didn't pay him much attention (Robb suspected it was because of his familial connection to Joffrey, but they looked completely different, so maybe it was just because of Daenerys, who even after a year was still around, damnit). Rickon and Bran loved spending time around him, listening to him talk about plants and bugs alike. And Arya... Well. It didn't take Robb long to realize his baby sister was not, in fact, asexual. At all.

The first time was when she spotted her at a window, an odd occurrence by itself, but he just shook his head and continued on his way. And then he was outside, preparing to go jogging, and as he stretched his arms, he saw Gendry planting tulips and quickly put two and two together. He liked up to confirm his suspicions, and sure enough, Arya quickly walked away from the window.

Oh hell no. No, nope. Gendry had to be at least five years older than Arya! And nevermind that, he was Robert Baratheon's SON! Even Joffrey had been quite a flirt (though he was still a bigger asshole than anything else), so Gendry, who looked so much like his father at his age (or so Ned said), was bound to be just as much of a manwhore! No! No, it was worse than Daenerys!

Predictably, Arya was less than pleased when Robb quite calmly brought it up during dinner a couple of days later (during which time he had caught Arya even daring to SPEAK to Gendry while he was SHAMELESSLY shirtless while tending to the garden, and Robb di not care that it was super hot out!). Sansa and Catelyn started having a cough attack around the same time Arya slammed her hand on the table and got up in a rage.

"Gendry is just my friend!"

"A friend you quite like to see half naked!" – Robb said, still keeping his cool.

"That's not even– Shut up, Robb! It's none of your business anyway!"

"You are my SISTER, it is SO my business!" – Jon and Ned tried to interfere, surely to get Arya to see reason and stop shouting, because it was not comfortable for him to be so calm and for her to be yelling at him.

"This is the same shit you pulled with Sansa and Dany! And they were actually dating! I'm not– Gendry is my friend!" – she repeated.

"I do not see why you must speak about Sansa and Daenerys! This is absolutely different!"

"It's not! Uh, Robb, you are the worst!"

"THE WORST?!" – he not–screamed as she stomped off to her room – "I AM THE BEST BIG BROTHER YOU ARE EVER GOING TO HAVE!"

"DO NOT MISQUOTE THE INCREDIBLES AT ME, DUMBASS!"

"No, that's okay, I'll just get the potatoes myself" – Bran cut in, rolling his eyes and reaching for the plate he wanted.

Gendry left at the end of the Summer, and Robb hoped he never saw him again.


3– Bran (and Meera)

After the accident, Robb was understandably more protective of Bran, everyone was. Of course, that was not to say he was a fragile little boy now, pss, of course not, but the gripping fear of almost lose him made them all too aware how fragile life in general was, and they had been all too close to losing one of their own, and that was not okay.

Another thing that was not okay was HER.

Her being Bran's best friend's sister. Now, Jojen Reed was a creepy ass kid, even Sansa didn't like being around him much, so Robb was a little surprised to find out his sister Meera was very down to Earth, very conscientious, very book smart, but she was also into Bran. Bran, as in Robb's brother. THAT Bran. That was not cool, Jojen was already three years older than Bran, which was a little weird, but Meera was a whole FOUR years older than him!

What was with his siblings and older people? Geez.

Anyway, she started coming around a lot with Jojen after Bran returned home was settled down. Robb was kind of busy with his course load, but it was his (second) baby brother! He couldn't very well leave him alone with some– Some– Some girl who clearly wanted a piece of him! What if she was like Joffrey? He was Ned's oldest friend's son, they could trust him despite him being a shit, right? Wrong! So why should they trust Bran's best friend's sister (who was also Ned's good friend's daughter)? That was just like playing with fire, and like any good Stark, Robb much preferred the cold, thank you.

So he had a little talk with Meera. She was cool about it, trying to placate him and reassure him her interest for Bran was pure... Which he liked to hear, until she let it slip.

"I mean, he is pretty young"

"Yes, he is"

"He isn't nearly old enough to think about being in a relationship"

"Of course"

"Maybe when he's older–"

"Oh hell no"

He tried to beg with his parents that Bran was fine with just Jojen visiting, why did Meera need to come around all the time? It was weird, where were her friends? She needed friends who weren't Robb's (second) baby brother. Catelyn downright got up and left, and Ned shook his head, though Robb was sure that this time he would get some backing!


4– Rickon (and Shireen)

By the time it was Rickon's love life that Robb had to worry about, he had it down to a science (though Theon and Jon laughed very meanly about it, the jackasses). His parents were in the same position as he was, and couldn't do much to stop the kids from going off and having crushes and dating (much older) people. Sure, eventually Sansa and Daenerys drifted apart, and Daenerys went on to marry a (much older) man, and Sansa even attended the wedding! With her new boyfriend, Willas (who was much, much, much older than her, and someone Robb liked well enough, except for the fact that he was a total craddle robber). Arya and Gendry did date for a while after that Summer, but as Arya got older, she seemed determined to prove she was NOT in fact ace, and she dated ('dated') anyone and everyone, to the point that Robb decided maybe it was okay not to track them all down (Jon called it cyberstalking, Theon sniffed about him maybe needing a lawyer, and Robb ignored them). Bran eventually starting going out with Jojen, not Meera, which in itself was mildly disconcerting if only because Jojen didn't really improve over time, but clearly Robb's opinion didn't matter! Clearly!

God, he was just trying to be a good brother, but no, he was a creep, he was a stalker, he was a nag, blah blah blah.

Oh, right. Rickon. After much tribulations from all of their siblings, Robb was sure he could handle whatever it was that life (i.e. Rickon) threw at him, I mean, c'mon, he was a grown man, he knew the kind of people that were out there! He knew how to–

Damnit!

Something made Robb had the feeling he should perhaps ask his dad if he had had a fling with Robert Baratheon back in the day, or wanted to, 'cause it had to be an anomaly that Starks and Baratheons kept bumping– Ew, no, he did not need to end that particular sentence, ergh. His siblings having a sex life? No, thank you, no sir.

Anyway. Rickon fell, head first, for one Shireen Baratheon. Not Robert's, thank God, but she was his younger brother's, the ever stern Stannis (who was also Jon's boss – okay, seriously, Baratheons were like catnip for Starks, it was WEIRD). I mean, sure, Shireen was the cutest, sweetest, gentlest girl Robb had ever met, she was kind of dreamy, in fact, and he could see why Rickon would like.

But she was yet again older than him, three years this time, and Rickon was only fourteen! Oh, the horror!

"Robb, really, it's not that bad" – Ned told him, frowning ever so slightly.

"Dad, you don't get it! I failed with Sansa, I failed with Arya, and I– Well, I didn't fail with Bran, who could've seen that one coming? But I cannot and I will not fail with Rickon! He's my baby brother! He's so little, I can't just sit back and let him fall prey to some– Some–"

"Very nice young lady? Shireen is lovely"

"Yeah, yeah, and she's smart, she reads, she teaches underprivileged kids–"

"Oh, I didn't know that, good on her"

"Dad, you're not listening, this is important!"

"Of course, son, forgive me"

"Anyway! This time, you need to help me. I know it's not easy, but Rickon is the last one! We need to work together, we need to act fast, we need–!"

"Sorry to interrupt this" – Catelyn poked her head into the office – "but Stannis Baratheon is here, and he looks even less happy than usual"

Finally, an ally!


5– Jon (and Sam)

Robb really thought Rickon was the last one, but then Jon had to go and fall in love with some– Some– Some really intelligent and shy guy that respected the very air the Starks breathed, it seemed.

Nonetheless, he was Jon's first big, big love (he didn't count Ygritte, she was hot as hell, but Jon had later confessed it was more about sex than love with her, which made sense, 'cause Robb never felt the need to go up to her and tell her to fuck off), and Robb was the closest thing Jon had to a brother (Aegon did NOT count, the peacock). It fell to Robb to assess this Sam Tarly, because Ned and Catelyn welcomed Sam easily enough, Sansa loved talking books with him, and the rest of the kids liked him too.

This time, Robb was sure he was on his own, uphill battle and all that.

"Jon, Jon, are you sure this is–?"

"What?"

"Wise? I mean, don't get me wrong, Sam is– You know, but, really? You don't want to go jumping too quickly into a relationship, I mean, what do you really know about this guy? He could be a rapist! Or a murderer! Or a robber!"

"Can you not compare Sam to Joffrey?"

"Joffrey's not a robber"

"Right, 'cause that as my point"

"Jon~! I just want what's best for you!"

"Yes, and I like Sam. YOU like Sam, everyone likes Sam, what's the problem?"

"I– I mean, I don't know, it's just–"

"And I've know him since we met at the tour around Oldtown before we got in, we've been friends since then, and that was years ago, Robb. Get it together, man, it's not up to you"

"But– But–! Jon! Jon, Jon, Jon, please listen to me~!"

"I need to go, I'm having lunch with Egg"

"We'll talk about this later"

"Robb. Seriously, chill the fuck out"


+1– Robb (and Karma)

"What's happening?" – Robb had to frown as his new girlfriend Myrcella Baratheon (seriously, catnip, and she was Joffrey's non–psychotic sister too, yikes, but he liked her so~ much) was whisked away by Bran, Jon and Sansa. Arya and Rickon, by now as tall as Robb, stood in front of him with identical grins of doom.

"This, big brother, is called fucking payback, bitch" – Arya stated.

"I'm sorry? Payback for what!"

"Oh geez, let me think" – she started sarcastically – "Saying that Dany was unreliable–"

"She was"

"–trying to tell me Gendry was inappropriate–"

"He was!"

"–dude, seriously. And then there was Meera, and how blind could you be?"

"She liked Bran!"

"Yeah, and he had a huge boner for Jojen, pay attention"

"Wait, he did?"

"And then me!" – Rickon butted in – "Shireen and I are still together! Because she's the best girl in the world!"

"Well, okay, maybe she's–"

"Oh, and how could we forget? The grand finale! You trying to get Jon to dump his year old boyfriend–"

"They had NOT been dating for a year!"

"Yes they were" – Rickon said with a snort.

"ANYWAY!" – Arya interrupted before Robb could do or say anything – "Now it's our turn, bitch"

"Don't call me–"

"Myrcella is such a nice girl"

"Of course she is–"

"But we don't think she's good enough for you"

"Excuse me–"

"She IS Joffrey's sister, I'm sure Sansa will remind her of that"

"Hey! She is so not like–"

"Then there's the fact that she's so much younger than you, but that would be Bran's line"

"But–"

"And you have known each other for a while, which is when Jon is gonna go for the kill"

"No, no, I really like her!"

"Karma's a bitch" – Arya and Rickon said in unison as Catelyn snorted into her wine, Ned sighed and Robb looked worriedly at the kitchen door, where surely his doom was taking place.