A/N: Wow lol okay I wrote this while i was drunk and i have no idea what it actually says and it's i'm too drunnk to speell check it so yeah maybe i'll write a new chapter later. :D! oh yeah there's not enough Fshep/Ashley in this fandom AND WE NEED TO CHANGE THAT
Ashley didn't know what went through Shepard's mind when she had decided to side with Cerberus. But Ashley did know that she was grateful when she did. The whole colony would've been lost, and she didn't know if she could handle that.
She looked different – something that scared the living shit out of Ashley. There were faded glowing scars along her jaw, her cheek, her left eyebrow. Shepard's eyes looked…tired – like she was resisting something that was going to end up taking over anyway. God, Cerberus didn't put anything weird in her, right?
God damnit.
"Shepard," she croaked. Why was she so weak? Why wouldn't she say her name with confidence? She imagines she's that shaken up about seeing her CO after she's been officially dead for two years. She stares at Shepard's N7 logo as she processes her feelings.
"Ash," Shepard's voice cuts through her thoughts like a knife, and Ashley realizes that she's missed the smooth timber of her voice – and she catches the…reverent way Shepard's tongue caresses her nickname.
She allows Shepard a small smile. She's missed her so much.
"I-I can't believe you're alive…"
Shepard's lips curve into a lazy smirk, one that usually adorned her face before the SR-1 blew up, and Ashley feels her heart constrict.
"Yeah, me either. I just – I remember getting spaced – oxygen was severed – and then – well,"
Ashley wants to slap Shepard's scarred cheek; she speaks of her death so…casually. She thinks that maybe it was…that maybe it was easy to let go – for her. But for Ashley, it was…devastating discovering her –probably best – CO had not made it. She remembers she cried for weeks.
She's still staring at Shepard's N7 logo. In her peripheral is a woman in…well, a catsuit. She has the Cerberus logo proudly shown above her right breast, and Ashley remembers that her Shepard isn't the same Shepard.
"I had…heard the rumors – I didn't know if I should believe them –but Cerberus?...Damn it Shepard; I knew that couldn't be true –" she scoffs, "but here you are."
Shepard looked pained. Ashley wanted to believe that maybe it was real – that maybe she was having a really difficult time admitting that yes, she was working for Cerberus. She could see the wheels turning in her head. Oh no, she's going to work the charm, Ashley thought.
"I – Ash, you know I wouldn't be with Cerberus if it wasn't for the right reasons!"
God damn Shepard. Her charm was as good as ever and Ashley's heart skipped at the thought that maybe…
No.
"Maybe."
Shepard's scars shone a little brighter.
"But maybe Cerberus…took control." Ashely continued.
She watched as her scars got a little brighter as she grit her teeth.
"Or maybe you're too blind to see the big picture!"
Ashley would never admit it, but maybe she was.
"Ash,"
She felt her ego inflate as Shepard moaned her name. She continued her assault on Shepard's neck, her fingers rubbing over Shepard's underwear. They were both wearing military-issued undergarments, but that didn't make it any less sexier.
God, she could feel her pulse fucking jump – Ashley need to resist the urge to just bite down hard. She rubbed a little harder, and in return Shepard cupped her ass a little more desperately. There was something about having her Commanding Officer under her, moaning her name with such…worship. Ashley felt her spine shiver at the power.
She rubbed in a circular motion, something that she noticed Shepard liked, as she made her way down to her collar bones. They were displayed for her and only for her, of course.
"Say my name,"
"Ashley," Shepard groaned.
"Ashley,"
She woke up with a gasp, sweat trickling down her back, tickling her. Private Michael was there, looking somewhat disturbed having to wake up her CO. Ashley growled at the casual use of her name and the private quickly stood straight, "Sorry, ma'am. XO Gulliver ordered me to wake you up and get to his office immediately."
Ashley nodded, too tired to reprimand the private for ever using her first name. Her subordinate left, and Ashley rolled over in her bunk, wondering why she had a dream about Shepard.
