Do I really need a disclaimer for this?


After lurking in Fictionpress and Fanfiction for several months, I have decided that it's high time for me to revitalize this little project of mine that I have started years or months ago. I can't rightly remember. Numerous things that I have noticed continuously nag at my mind, and as I plough through around 40 or so stories, be they one-shots or stories bordering on becoming a novella, a constant thought plagued my mind: Why are people repeating the same mistakes again and again?

So, let's address these issues in this short chapter. And be warned, this chapter doesn't specifically target Pokemon even though it's placed in that category. It's a general overview.

Firstly, don't be stingy with paragraphs. Seriously, use them. They don't cost anything at all. It's not as if a chunk of your meat would be cut off if you used, say more than six paragraphs in this story. In fact, I highly recommend that you use them frequently. Just refer to any published books you have. A quick flip through them would give you this discovery: Published authors have short paragraphs, each paragraph lasting around 3 to 6 lines. And you would realize that this makes for easier reading, as information is broken down into small digestible bite-sizes, without the readers having to plough through a huge chunk of text.
An added benefit is that it ensures that your readers would read most of your story, as people have a tendency to simply skip or gloss through long paragraphs, simply because it looks boring.

But don't be overly liberal with paragraphs either. It makes reading disjointed and awfully un-conducive. Instead of reading short stories, readers will have the impression that they are reading a sequence of events in point forms. And this is awfully jarring and is highly discouraged. For people who wish to take a look at specific examples, they can simply take a peek in the earlier one-shots I have written, as I was fond of using excessive paragraphing in the past. Thank god though, that I have kicked the habit now, or my teacher would have kicked me in the shins.

So, know this – paragraphs are important.

Moving on, please don't write a story that is 90% made of dialogues. Words are inadequate to fully express my vehemence against it, as… well, I really don't like it. True, this may be my personal preference only, but I believe that a story should not be majorly constructed on words between characters. If you are only using dialogues to further the plot, without describing actions and feelings of the characters, you will find them you are typing an extremely dull and distanced essay that is void of emotions. And kindly, kindly, do not use "Kyah", "Ahhhhhhh!", or "Ring!" too much in your text. It doesn't add to the level of sophistication of your story. Seriously. I am not joking.
An example is:
Intitially – "Ahhhhhh!" the girl screamed in horror, as the man advanced menacingly towards her.

Suggested Alternative—A sickly-pale face, one that had evidently been deprived of sunlight, leered at the girl. It may be a trick of the light cast by the flickering streetlamp, but to the girl, the eyes on the man's face were inhumanely big, with the icy blue irises taking up the whole of the eyes. His lips were pale-white, totally drained of blood, one that would have appeared more suited on a corpse than a living human being. In the split second, the man noticed the girl's gaze on him and shot her a sneer full of teeth, casting a ravenous and threatening tone on the already horrifying face. He took a step nearer.

The girl's stomach clenched in fear and her eyes widened considerably in shock. A spasm of horror ran through her as her mouth opened, ready to convey her terror in sound. Yet, the terror had already taken the voice out of her, leaving her gaping in mute revulsion. The girl's haunted brown eyes locked with the man's feral blue eyes, and she found that her legs could no longer support her weight. They gave out on her, leaving her more vulnerable than ever.

Do you see how you can expand on just a single sentence to give more colours to your story? But of course, there is a limit to how far you can describe. Don't describe too much or it will just bore your readers, and they will simply chuck it in some virtual dustbin and never read it ever again.

Remember this—All things must be done in moderation to attain the best effect possible.

An important thing that ought to be mentioned is that sometime simple words do the trick as well. You don't need to pepper your story with impressive-sounding, bombastic words that makes absolutely no sense to most readers. After all, you write in hopes that someone will read it. So create a story that is engaging, lively and easily understandable.
An example is:
Initially—John perambulated about the corridor.

Suggested Alternative—John ambled about the corridor aimlessly. His stance was relaxed and his pace was slow. Swiveling his head from side to side, he searched for something of interest; something that would provide him with a task to do for this few hours. Yet, none could be seen. What a sad, dull, boring place that John was living in.

I hope you have understood what I mean through the above-mentioned example. When was it that you have seen 'perambulated'? Do you even know what it means, other than it sounding profound? And you do realize that while the suggested alternative does not have bombastic words like that, yet, it is able to create a better effect than the first. This is simply because it is more successful in creating imageries in readers via the usage of commonly-used words.

So don't throw in four or more syllables words when and when you feel like it. The best authors are able to create a strong impact on readers even when using relatively simple words.

And lastly and most importantly, be kind in your reviews. Some of the new authors here are fledglings who have barely begun to warm their wings. Yet, there are people who are overly harsh and critical who 'flames'. Have you any idea how harmful 'flames' are to a person's pride, especially to newcomers who joined the community in hopes of publishing a new story that would be like the jewel in the crown; the cream of the crop?

But of course, I am not telling that you cannot dislike or even hate another person's story. They might be really that crappy to elicit such a response for you, but there's no need for you to show it to the author. You can curse and swear all you want before the computer, and nobody would know or mind (with the exception of your family, for which I take no responsibility). But just don't write a review that is basically just being overly-critical.
An example is: "You F*, you have just written a f* story, and aren't you proud of the f*? I hope you rot in hell."

What sort of civilized, well-bred person would write that? After all, we have grown up in a hypocritical society, and ought to learn the art of hypocrisy as well. It's useful in many occasions, especially when you are out in the 'eat or be eaten world'. Hypocrisy is a part and parcel of life, and you may as well start practicing and employing it now. It can also add a semblance of civility to your reviews, as you can start of by complimenting the author on his effort first. So what if it sucks? At least the author bothered to type it out, and has sacrificed an hour of his life.

So from the previous example, you can change it to:
Good effort/attempt. There are still many areas for improvement, but at least you have tried. I suggest that you review the usage of your _ (grammar/spelling/sentence structure/prepositions/shampoo brand)
Do your best.

See, doesn't it sound so much gentler on the ears? Does it grate on your nerves any longer? No, it doesn't. Although it may not be as pleasing as those gushing reviews that basically go "I (heart) your story. I (heart) you. Let's get married.", at least it doesn't destroy a person's confidence. And you have given constructive criticisms! You have made the world a better place by ridding it of those blasphemous mistakes! Aren't you proud of yourself?

And the most important thing of all, with this drastic tone in change, you will have realized that you have just graduated from a 'flamer' to a strict critique. See the large discrepancies?


Please take note that the later chapters published under the same title, are in fact, older works. This first paragrpah is the latest and is placed foremost simply because I think that it's the most relevant one.