The inner workings of the mind can be a strange thing, one moment you can be the happiest person that thinks nothing can go wrong, and the next life can crash down upon you.

I can't say that life has been that difficult for me, but the fact that so many of my childhood friends don't talk to me anymore does tell you one thing. People don't like different. When you think about it it's simple whenever something can't be explained by simple logic it gets ignored or shunned. That's what happened to me, my mum had always been one of those vain people that only cared about how she looked to the outside world.

It didn't seem to matter that everyone had always been able to see straight through it. I should have been a younger version of her, but liking heavy metal music and have dark hair doesn't fit in with the stereotype.

I would say that school was my escape but the teachers were far more judgemental, always wondering why my parents allowed me to come to school dressed the way i do, and looking so pale. I knew half of them believed that i must some sort of medical disease. I was just me content to sit quietly on the sidelines and be invisible.

That was until the day that my car decided to break down.

The darkness can be all consuming and almost feel like a part of you disappears each time, it can be a struggle but you must hold onto your humanity.

The scary part is when you find safety in someone else, you rely upon them to find your place in the world. With the worry that at any moment it could all disappear, so you hold on in the hope that the dream won't stop. That you truly have found your better half, that life isn't play some sort of sick joke.

For anyone that has ever been in love you know the feeling, the all consuming need to be with your other half. The loss you feel when you aren't with them, like you lost part of yourself. It's an uncontrollable force, something that no mear book nor song can convey. It comes from the small things the tingles when you touch, the feeling when you know they watch your every move. The little kisses to take back your attention, and make plans for the future and knowing that it's possible, that life is finally giving you what you deserve.

People like to think that they can understand your feelings, that they understand but try and keep you apart, by tearing your feelings down, and trying to crush them. True strength is difficult you have to hold on because after a rain storm there's always a rainbow. As cliche as it sounds in every part of darkness there is light as long as you know where to look and i found mine. I should say he found me, he saved me when i was at my lowest and he brought be back.

The funny part his he doesn't realise just how much.