"Silence"
Fandom: Slayers
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Lina/Gourry.
AN: Alright, this is a weird one. Written for a writing community on Livejournal, and the theme to be used was path of sin. I chose to elaborate on the few seconds of time between Lina's casting of the Giga Slave and the Lord Of Nightmares taking control of her body.
Because of the setting and the state of the characters, I chose a different style with this piece, and I just hope it worked out all right. Also, my characterization of L-sama might be a bit different from what others consider her. I think I portrayed her a bit too motherly, but that's just how I see it being in this scene. Enjoy.
Silence.
She floats in darkness, her body weightless, her head disheveled.
She can't seem to form a coherent thought, each one slipping through her desperate fingers like grains of sand. First, she tries to think of Gourry, wonders if he's safe, alive. But then her mind jumps elsewhere, to her other friends, her enemies, even her family, their faces twirling around her, mere whispers of the wind. She sees food, so much food that she loves and yearns to stuff her face with. Slugs, they're crawling all over her...and trolls. What the hell are they doing in her thoughts? And the Sword Of Light...she wanted it so much. She still wants it...doesn't she? But it's Gourry's...Gourry...and then she tries to think of him once more.
Her skin tingles with the heat and pain of a vigorous fire, although there is no flame. It feels as if she's tearing, like one of the old ragdolls the neighborhood boys used to torment when they were bored. First the arms would go, and then the legs, and finally, the head. They didn't care about what was left, would throw it on the ground and watch as the wind carried it away to nothingness.
She wonders if death will be frightening. She wonders if the world and all its people will soon join her. She wonders so many things.
She chose a path. A spur of the moment decision.
Was it right? Was it wrong?
Too late to know...
And then...a whisper. A whisper tenderly caresses her ear, softens her soul. One word...
Come.
Her body shifts, falls further into darkness, silence. Arms, sculpted of smoke and air, catch her, cradle her in an embrace. Her eyes will not open, and yet, she sees...hair, the color of dandelions in the field, flows, shattering darkness.
She has never seen her before, and yet...she knows.
I have answered.
Her voice glistens like raindrops, fresh on the skin of her face. She wants to cry, to laugh, but cannot. She is made of stone.
Do you doubt yourself?
Her lips will not move, so instead, she thinks, thinks hard. Maybe she will hear her.
I...I don't know. I mean, if I had more time, I could have...
But you didn't.
...well, yeah, I know that. But IF I...
But you didn't. There was no more time, no more denial, no more running. You had to make a choice.
She takes a moment to recoil from her words. She sounds cold, final...but speaks nothing but truths.
She had to choose. And she did.
...was it a mistake?
You seem regretful. If I allowed you to go back, do you believe that maybe a different path would have been taken? She brushes a whispered hand against soft skin.
Her chest gnaws angrily. She tries to concentrate on the question, but her body is on fire, heat licking her eyes, singing her arms.
Would she? Would she try and save the world instead?
The answer resonates in her mind long before the question even fully presents itself.
No. I want to save Gourry. I would...I would do anything to save him.
The woman takes a breath, and it is like the wind.
Then sleep. It will be alright.
Her head begin to fall back. Her body stills, feels like glass.
But she isn't finished, not yet. She has to know the truth, has to know if...
And suddenly, her lips fiercely crack open, sculpted of stone, powered by fire. Words, hoarse and weak, spill through, shattering silence as if it was nothing but a delicate figurine, precariously perched on the edge of a high ridge. She doesn't breathe, she doesn't think...she only speaks.
"But is it wrong?"
The woman turns. She is a ghost, an illusion, maybe. But she is there, and she will listen.
What?
Now that she has found her voice, it is difficult to keep it under control.
"Was it wrong? Have I sinned! I mean, well, I just sacrificed the whole damn world...I could kill everyone, that must mean, I'm...I.. I just couldn't help it! He said if I didn't do something, he was going to die, and the crystal, the crystal was breaking and I couldn't...I couldn't just stand there and WATCH and-"
A wispy finger, the color of smoke, presses gently against her lips, and her mouth is suddenly too tired to form words any longer.
Her voice is soothing, a mother's lullaby to her crying child.
Do you love him?
Her body is aching, burning, searing with pain. She doesn't understand the question at first.
What?
The man you chose over the world. Do you love him?
She understand all too clearly now. Her. Gourry. Love.
If anyone else had asked her this question, she's well aware that her answer would be an immediate denial. She's never been one for proclaiming emotion, and would definitely rather eat a slug than have to confess to something as intimate as that.
But the woman before her...it's alright. She would understand. Her secret would be safe, perfectly safe...forever.
Yes.
The wind whispers, and the sun shines. A painted smile lingers just before her in the darkness, and lips press gently against her forehead, soothing her soul with their tender kiss.
No sin can ever come from something done out of pure love.
And with a burning in her chest, an aching in her heart, and the tears that drown her face..she believes her words.
Now sleep. I will save him, I promise.
This time, she listens. Her body feels no more pain as she begins to fall, deeper, faster. She doesn't think about the world coming to a destructive end, or of any supposed 'path of sin'.
She only thinks of Gourry. His face, his smile, his laugh...the knowledge that he will live to see another day comforts her more than he will ever know.
Thank you.
And with a final smile, happy, serene...Lina Inverse lets go of the world.
Reviews are appreciated, as always.:D
