Hey all, this is a new story and pairing from me! It was so out of my comfort zone that I couldn't sit with it! It took me months to write and my amazing Beta and friend Sandra-Sempra stuck through me through it all and kept me going! At the beginning I was excited about it and then I became hateful of it because Luna is one weird character to write but now I'm glad I stuck it out and finished it! Thank you so much to Sandra for sticking with me this whole time! you are truly amazing!
This was written for the Live Journal Rare Pairs Fest2017
A/N: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
I hope you enjoy it!
Amor per tempus
Remus had arrived at the Ministry, when he remembered what his alterum had told him on the manner in which she had come to him.
They had followed their friend, to the Department of Mysteries, to search for their friends godfather, who had been taken. When they got there, they found it was a false memory and that Voldemort required the friend to grab a prophecy of sorts.
There were Death Eaters everywhere, and before they knew it, a battle ensued. Luna, who was fighting in the time room, was knocked back by a jinx. She hit the surface of an old oaken cabinet, knocking and shattering different variations of hourglasses and time turners. She stumbled on the shattered glass at her feet, and her nose went dry, falling victim to the metallic sand that inhaled her senses. As quickly as the magical contents brushed her skin, she was flung back through time. The last thing she recalled before time took hold of her, were blue and gold sand particles crashing down upon her.
He ran to that room as he arrived, the Death Eaters emerging from the opposite door. They spotted Luna the same time he did, and he desperately tried to stop them. She did not deserve the pain she would come to suffer so he could have love.
He was one second too late, he witnessed her fly back, his feet like stone to the floor, and saw her slam hard into a cabinet. She was covered in the blue and gold sand as he finally moved to her, but she was gone.. It had happened again, how could he let this happen!? It was all his fault. He should have remembered earlier and stopped it, he had promised her that he wouldn't let her come back no matter what. That was her final wish. He had let her down.
Albus Dumbledore walked in and took in the scene around him. He quickly approached Remus, comfortingly placing his hand on his shoulder, and stated there was nothing he could have done. It was predestined to happen, and no matter how quickly he had arrived at the ministry, it was inevitable. He told him not to beat himself up about it.
He knew that he had to help the others now, he was finding it hard to breathe, he had tried and failed and now he would have to face the onslaught of memories coming from his younger self. It wasn't right that he was held up because he had been getting healed from the full moon the previous night.
He quickly got himself back into fight mode and followed the sounds of battle, he had a bad feeling that something more was coming and he couldn't take any more pain.
As he ran into the massive room they were all fighting in, he saw Harry, Sirius and Lucius fighting with Bellatrix Lestrange standing off to the side laughing gleefully. He watched as Sirius moved in front of the Veil. His stomach wrenching, whatever the Veil did was bad. He saw as Bellatrix raised her wand screaming "Stupefy" and that's when his world slowed to a stop. He watched helplessly as it hit Sirius in the chest and went running to his friend's aid.
He was too late, again, grabbing Harry to stop him from trying to help Sirius. He had a feeling that if he had let go of him, Harry would have followed Sirius into the afterlife.
Remus was so angry with himself. If he had of reacted quicker he could have stopped Bellatrix and save his best friend. That was twice now within a few minutes of each other that he had failed.
What was wrong with him if he couldn't save the two people he loved most from leaving him!? Why did he continuously lose everyone he held so dear!?
He didn't know how, but he was still holding onto Harry, as he had that thought Harry pulled from his hold and followed Bellatrix, who was cackling and singing the same thing over and over, "I killed Sirius Black" followed by a mad screech type laugh.
Remus wasn't going to let Harry die as well; that would be the last straw for him. Having to cope with losing his best friend's son as well would tip him over the edge.
He muddled through his grief for his best friend and ran after him, now was not the time for it, he would have the rest of his life to grieve for those he had lost. He knew this wasn't the end of the loss, but he would get through it.
June 18, 1974
Luna didn't know what had happened. One minute she had been battling in the Department of Mysteries, then the next a blinding flash of blue light engulfed her, causing her to land in a very different Department of Mysteries. There were no time turners in this room, and no evidence of a battle.
There was what looked like muggle chemistry sets everywhere and no people around. Where was she? How far in time had she gone? Was it the future or the past?
She stood up, dusting the remaining lingering dust from her clothes and waited with a hand to her temple, counteracting the dizziness and pain she felt. She looked around and found nothing to tell her what the date and year was, and tried to remember the spell that Hermione had taught her, something to do with the time.
Think Luna what was the spell! She furrowed her brows in contemplation. Aha! "Et Tempus" she moved her wand in a semi circle and the date appeared; June 18, 1974 was written across the room in gold lettering.
That meant she had been sent twenty-two years into the past,a massive time jump, and she had to figure out what kind of state the Wizarding world was in. Had the first war against Voldemort started in this time or did she come back to before that? Who did she know that was in this time?
Dumbledore. That was the only person she could think of that would be of some help. If the date was correct, he would be still at Hogwarts and would be the Headmaster.
So she had to figure out how to get to Hogwarts. Being in her fourth year, she had never been taught how to apparate in her time. Maybe she could create a portkey. She had read about the Incantation to create one and it wasn't that hard in theory.
She quickly found a small inanimate object that wouldn't be missed, pointed her wand at it and said, "Portus," whilst picturing the start of Hogsmeade, while she would love to be closer to Hogwarts and not be seen by too many people she didn't know how far the wards around the school extended.
She immediately felt a pull behind her navel and was pulled once again through a portal, praying she didn't end up somewhere else completely.
She felt the pressure release and fell to her knees. Looking around she sighed in relief. he had done it, she had gotten the spell right and was in Hogsmeade in one piece.
As she went to stand, she felt two arms grab her around the waist and pick her up. A strong grip turned her around, and she was left facing a handsome boy with mousy brown hair and the most gorgeous amber eyes. Scars marked his face, and his eyes looked as if they had seen pain. She couldn't help but think that he seemed familiar.
Dressed in the colors of a Gryffindor uniform, he looked behind him and said, "she seems to be okay, guys." His voice sounding like melted chocolate running through one of those fountain things the muggles seemed to like.
She then realised there were three other boys with him, all decked out in Gryffindor attire. They were all looking at her with a strange expression across their faces. Her thoughts led her to asking herself why she was standing there. Blinking, she turned from them to flit up to the castle.
The boys all followed suit, wondering why she seemed so airy, and why she was dressed in such weird fashion. They trailed her all the way from the village to the headmasters office.
It was strange: they hadn't seen her around before today and she looked to be their age, but she knew the way like she had been there thousands of times.
"Excuse me, Miss, I was wondering what your name was?" The boy with the mousy hair asked. "I'm Remus and these are my friends James," he pointed to the boy with messy black hair and Hazel eyes, "Sirius," pointing to a boy who looked very much the pureblood wizard she knew him to be: he had long, shoulder length black hair that a many girls would be jealous of. "Peter." He was a short, pudgy kind of boy with beady, glass-like eyes that resembled a rats.
Luna realised why it was the boy seemed so familiar. He was her professor in the future, and they had bonded with each other! He had offered to teach her some of the higher levels of Defense Against the Dark Arts as she was excelling, and she had often wondered why he was so nice to her when everyone else seemed to shy away. Maybe this was her answer, he knew her already.
Perhaps history was repeating itself, and maybe she could makes some changes while here. Give Harry his parents back. She could stop Bellatrix from torturing Neville's parents to insanity and he would grow up with some kind of normalcy and support. That would alter so many things! If she warned them, they could figure out how He Who Must Not Be Named was so powerful and they could stop him before he killed anyone.
Lost in her revelations, she had ignored the boy's too long. She had to say something. They couldn't know the truth, but if there was a possibility she couldn't go home, she would need allies and friends.
She was aware of the difficulties when it came to time travel, and her being here was a major complication that may not be able to be fixed, but, she would hold onto hope until the very end.
"It's nice to meet you. I must be going though, would one of you be able to help me with the password? I need to see the Headmaster right away. It's kind of urgent," she stated, perfectly content in her way of thinking whilst the boys looked as if they were suffering from whiplash!
Remus was the first to recover and walked to the griffin after shaking off the confusion and said, "chocolate frogs." The massive guard jumped aside and let her pass.
She waved and skipped over to the stairs, looking back and smiling as she followed the path upwards to the large, brown oak door. She raised her hand to knock, however, she heard an "enter" before her hand ever touched the door.
Entering the office, it was pretty much the same as the future. The only thing missing was some instruments. Dumbledore was sitting behind the desk reading a letter of some kind and pointed to the chair.
"Welcome dear, take a seat. I won't be but a minute, and then I will assist you in whatever you need".
She quickly complied and inspected the portraits around the room, knowing they would be listening into what was about to be said as they had gossiped to her a lot in the future after all.
She noticed that the Headmaster had less lines around his face, showing that he had less stress to deal with in this time.
"I know what brought you here, no need to explain," he began without looking up, "I recently came across a spell that allows me to detect when time travel is used, and precisely where the person lands." Eyes still focused on his letter, he reached over, picking up a lemon drop and popping it in his mouth. "It allows me to see what time they came from, all we need to do now is get a cover story sorted. For you to have the sorting hat place you, and get you acquainted with this time and the fashion., How does that sound?" He looked at her then with his blue eyes twinkling, and it felt like he was looking right down into the depths of her soul.
"Yes sir, but I know what house I'm in already. I'm a Ravenclaw" she said quietly.
"Are you? Hmm… we'll see soon. Do you want to get that done first so you can stop stressing?"
"Yes please, sir, I know I'll get Ravenclaw again, but I may as well get it over with" she looked around the room, and her eyes locked onto the sorting hat that sat behind his desk.
The Headmaster stood, grabbing the hat down and moved around the desk. He placed it on her head, waiting for the result.
Luna blinked politely, waited for the voice to sound in her head as she knew it would. It was silent for a while, probably asleep because it wasn't expected to be used for another three months. As she gave up on the idea that it would sort her and was about to pull the hat off she heard a deep yawn sound through her ears.
"Oooh a time traveller, interesting… very interesting… you say you know where you belong?" A voice that sounded ancient questioned her.
"Yes sir, I am a Ravenclaw," she thought confidently.
"Ha! That is not what I see. Yes you have the wit and knowledge to do greatly in Ravenclaw, but there are other qualities that stand out to me… yes... you are courageous, loyal, you would do wondrously in Gryffindor," the hat said to her.
"Please no! I am already out of my element here… can't you have a bit of sympathy for me?" She pleaded.
"I am not unsympathetic… no…but you will flourish during your time here under the House of Gryffindor, " he said he shouted for the Headmaster to hear "GRYFFINDOR!"
Luna's shoulders dropped as she slid the hat from her head. She never knew a life at Hogwarts without the comfort of Ravenclaw Tower, and she surely didn't feel brave enough to be amongst the lions of Gryffindor.
The Headmaster smiled at her with a look of pure sympathy in his eyes. She felt lost not being in her original house. How could things change so quickly?
"Don't worry dear, I heard Mr. Lupin and his comrades down in the hall. They will help you get settled once you leave here and find the common room. I may even call them here once we are finished," he stated calmly.
Luna still sat in a state of shock, she was away from her friends, and now she was being placed in a different house.
Dumbledore was playing it off as nothing, and he had already called for a house elf to procure her some school robes, books and equipment. He had also told the House Elf Halle as he said to get Professor McGonagall so he could introduce her to a new Gryffindor student.
"Alright, now onto your cover story," he stated, cupping his hands together, "Your pureblood status will remain as such, but you were home-schooled, up until the point of a horrific accident, leaving you without your family, or a place to reside," Luna's eyes widened as she witnessed the old wizard's brain at work, "From this moment on, you will be known as Luna Burke. The Burke's are a family originating in Sweden? Norway? No one will suspect the falsehood behind your heritage," he was off in his his own little world, going through the details and not taking notice of the girl in front of him.
As she worked up the courage to interrupt to inquire whether she had a say in all this, he paused and said "enter", once again before a knock emerged on the door..
Luna turned slightly to see Professor McGonagall walk in, a look of curiosity upon her face.
"Ah, Minerva, take a seat. We have much to discuss."
The whole lot took an hour, and Luna was standing at the door waiting to leave in her new Gryffindor uniform and books. She was told she would be lead to the Common Room.
As they walked through the corridors in silence, they rounded the last corner to the Common Room. Once there, the four boys she had met previously, and a girl who had red hair and green eyes, were standing outside.
"I thought you would be more comfortable if you entered the common room with students your own age," the slightly younger version of one of her favourite professors said with a smile.
"Thanks," Luna said airily.
They walked towards the five Gryffindors and McGonagall introduced them all.
"Luna Burke… this is Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, Lily Evans and Peter Pettigrew," she pointed them out individually and then continued, "this young lady is going to be starting in with you all, and hopefully you five will help her get her feet wet here at Hogwarts".
Luna looked around at the group and noticed that Remus was the only one still looking at her, the rest were listening to the Professor, but Remus was studying her with amber eyes that looked like they saw and knew far too much.
They each introduced themselves and Lily said she would take care of her.
The Professor left them and Remus told the rest to go before him, they instantly obeyed and he gestured for Luna, placing his hand on her lower back to help guide her through the entranceway.
She had never been into the lion's den before. It was extremely over decorated in burgundy and gold. Not another colour in sight besides in the paintings around the room. There were arm chairs and sofas strategically placed, and tables with chess boards sitting upon them, ready to be played, and a little alcove off to the side that looked to have desks in it for people to do their homework.
The five other students headed towards the chairs near the fireplace and got comfortable, each of them looked to have their own spot and they fit well. Luna didn't see any other seat available besides the one right next to Remus, so she quickly sat down and waited for the questions they would surely be bursting at the seams to ask.
Lily was the first to burst, "So how was it being at a wizarding school in a different country? How long were you over there for? Why did your parents all of a sudden bring you back?"
Luna went to answer when Remus stepped in.
"Lily, to let her rest for a bit. She had only arrived not long ago, surely she's feeling overwhelmed."
"No, it's okay," she said blinking, and Remus gave her a concerned look so she added, "Really it is". She turned on her best Luna Burke face and continued, "I was actually homeschooled by my parents. They didn't have much confidence in the schools in Australia, and we were only going to be there temporarily. We originally lived in England in Surrey, and were on our way back there when my parents were killed." She sniffed near the end to make it seem like it hurt her to talk about. "The Ministry for Magic over there contacted our ministry, and the only person that had any idea who I was, is Professor Dumbledore. He said he'd take me into the school and look after me until I was old enough to make my own way."
The lie came to easily for Luna and she felt worried over that. She wasn't normally one to lie. She looked around at the others who had been silent, four out of the five looked like they believed her, but Remus appeared as though he could sense she was lying.
They continued to talk for hours, and then started to move out and go to bed. Lily showed her the way to their dorm room and helped her get settled. She gave her a set of pyjamas to wear so that she didn't have to sleep in her robes.
June 20, 1974
Luna's first day of classes began today, and she was nervous as hades. Everyone was going to be confused over her sudden arrival, and would be asking questions on why she was there, and she was going to have to remember every little detail of her and the headmaster's little lie. She hoped she wouldn't accidentally slip up.
When she got down to the Common Room, Lily, Remus, James and Sirius were all standing there talking.
"We have to make sure she feels welcome and that no one asks too many questions. She's going to be out of her element without adding more to her plate."
"Talking about me, are you?" She said.
"Ah no?" Lily said accidentally adding a question at the end of her sentence.
"It's okay, thank you for wanting to help me out with people asking questions!" She exclaimed.
They talked for a moment longer and then headed out to breakfast. Peter had already gone ahead to save them seats together, and on the way there Lily explained how everything worked at Hogwarts. Luna gave the girl her attention, thankful for her help, but all the while thinking she already knew, as she had lived there for the last four years.
When they arrived, the whole room instantly went silent and stared at Luna. Dumbledore stood up and called the room to order telling them that the new student should made to feel welcome, and that no one was to bombard her with inquiries as she had been through a great deal and the transition for her was going to be hard.
Her and the four others went and sat with Peter. On the way there, every eye in the room followed her journey and when she sat down she could feel them watching her. She tried to ignore it, knowing this was going to happen for a while until she got to go home, so she would have to get used to it.
Remus appeared to eat extremely fast, and as soon as Luna finished, he offered to take her somewhere before classes so she could have some peace.
She stood up and walked out with him, walking out to the lake, and sat down. Remus sat in silence for a bit, then said, "You know if you ever want to talk or tell anyone what really brought you here to Hogwarts, I'm here."
"How do you know that I am not telling the truth?" She asked him nervously.
"Ahhh… I'm perceptive?" He said and cringed at the question at the end of it. He couldn't tell her exactly how he knew she was lying. How would that sound?Oh yeah I can hear your heartbeat that speeds up every time you talk about who you are and where you are from. Oh how can I hear your heartbeat? I'm a werewolf. Yeah that'd go down so well.
She eyed him curiously, wondering how he read her so easily. She assumed werewolves were able to sense details a witch or wizard could not, and clung to that, hoping she wasn't that terrible of a liar. She couldn't allow her secret to be exposed
The silence lingered albeit too long between them, and Remus awkwardly stood, clearing his throat as he helped her up. Without another word, they walked in quietude to their first class, Transfiguration. Luckily, it flew by quickly with Remus by her side. She had to admit, he was a welcoming distraction.
Free period came in an instant, and the two walked with the rest of the gang to the library to start on their essays for class together. It was a nice change from her own time, where barely any of the Ravenclaws would sit together and study. This must be what it felt like to be a Gryffindor, included.
September 13 1974
Luna was sitting in the library studying, as come her habit to try and remain close to Hermione in the future. It seemed like she could feel her comforting her through the pages of the texts.
She was writing an essay on werewolves for their Defence Against the Dark Arts and was smiling at the revelation in her own time, when they learnt this in third year. She remembered when Professor Lupin…. well Remus was outed and how she hadn't really minded, but disappointed she had lost a professor.
He was nice and she had gotten to know him well, and considered him a great friend. Now that she was in the past and he was here, she was getting to know him all over again. She started to see his qualities as a best friend. A best friend who was quite good looking.
As last thought ran in her mind, there was a clearing of the throat, and she looked up to see Remus, as if appearing straight from out of her very musings. She smiled up at him, and he blushingly returned the expression, Speaking in his roguish tone.
"Where were you now? You looked as if you were a million years away."
"I was thinking about our friendship, actually. Well if you consider us friends that is. It's quite nice having someone as close to me as you are," she said in her dreamy, melodic voice.
"Luna, we are friends, I like you a lot. I'm glad you feel close to me, and know I'll always be here for as long as you need me," he said with a smile.
Luna gestured for him to sit down and they discussed the essay she had been working on. Her attempt was to get him to be comfortable telling her that he was a werewolf. She didn't understand why he would ever be ashamed of who he was. It was another part of him; an amazing, kind spirited person who was loved by everyone who came into contact with him.
It was hard for her to pretend she didn't know. As they became closer it was getting harder still,and on top of that, she was exhausted from pretending to be from this time. All of the lies she had to tell were taking their toll. She felt like she was two different people and it was becoming harder not talking to someone other than Dumbledore.
She had become one of the group and they wouldn't allow her to be alone for a moment because they didn't trust the Slytherins to leave the new girl alone.
The nights that Remus had to disappear because of the full moon, her and Lily would have sleepovers in the common room and Luna tried to memorise every little detail, hoping when she got back to her time she could tell Harry how his parents were in their youth, and how their friends were always loyal to him. She thought that'd be nice for him to hear and she could even transfer some memories to a pensieve or something so that he could see it happening and get a glimpse of their lives before the war started.
Remus pulled her out of her mind again and said it was dinner time and they had better get down there so that they didn't have to sneak into the kitchens later. It didn't take too long to pack her stuff into her bag and race down to the Great Hall and fall into their usual spots.
December 12, 1974
Luna had been in the past for six months now. When she had met with the headmaster and told him about what had occurred that resulted in her arriving here, he had promised to look into ways of getting her back to her own time.
He had convinced her that she should stay at Hogwarts, for her protection, and she was to stay blended as a student, making a life here for herself in case he couldn't find her a way back.
Every week she would go and see him to see if he had made any progress and every week she was disappointed when he said no.
She had tried the sorting hat on because he hadn't wanted to use her past… well future sorting, so she agreed to have the hat placed again and it had taken all of 3 seconds to shout "GRYFFINDOR" that one word had changed everything, she was now going to be in an unfamiliar time and an unfamiliar common room.
She had fought it at first, now she saw she had both Ravenclaw and Gryffindor traits she didn't mind. She had become close friends with Harry's mother, father and their friends and couldn't see how any of them would betray the other.
Luna had been approached by Sirius Black but turned him down straight away, she only had eyes for one person but he didn't seem to notice her.
That was Remus, he was happier here in this time, less of a weight on his shoulders that the wars had caused. He also looked a lot healthier and had a glow about him, she didn't understand why she was the only one who could see the glow, she had talked about it with her roommates but none of them would even look twice at him, they must be infected with Wrackspurts.
It was time for another meeting with Dumbledore and she moved slowly towards the office, when she turned the last corner, she ran full on into a hard defined body and fell back.
The person hunched down to see if she was okay and she noticed it was Remus, of course he had to come by now when she was off with the fairies… then again she was always off with the fairies.
He was speaking but she couldn't hear him, all she could do was stare at his amber eyes and wonder what they would look like when he was excited….
She shook her head, came back to reality and jumped up, brushing off her clothes to get rid of the images of how she could get him excited enough to see what they would look like. She would unbutton her shirt enough that the swells of the top of her breasts were showing and bite her lip.
She was getting flustered thinking about it so quickly excused herself and ran the rest of the way to the office, leaving a confused Remus behind.
When she reached the top of the stairs, she knocked and got the usual "enter" he was sitting behind his desk and gave her a grave look.
"Still no answers for you my dear" he said in his old wizened voice. She felt a little excitement course through her and a bit of disappointment, the excitement had no place being there, she was going to go back to her time and she wasn't going to have a problem with it.
The Headmaster gave her a knowing look, as if he could see what was going on in her head. When had she started to prefer it here rather than in her own time.
It was probably around the same time that she had started to look Remus in a new light, he seemed to act different around her than he did before, he blew off the others if she needed to talk, always wanting to know how she was settling in.
He had been interested how she had spent her summer holidays and she hadn't been able to say as she had stayed at Hogwarts and went through the library searching for information on time travel but there was nothing that actually helped.
She had quickly changed the subject to focus on him and he had looked confused at first and then thought that it probably had to do with whatever she was hiding and let her take the distraction, thinking that she would tell him in her own time.
"It seems you're distracted, Luna, maybe we should catch each other, next week, you go and enjoy some time with your new friends" Dumbledore said.
Luna thanked him and rushed out to find Remus, maybe it was time to talk to him about what had really brought her here, she didn't have to tell everyone Remus deserved to know and maybe then he would tell her about his secret and they could move forward.
December 12, 1974
She found Remus in the library looking at a thick book, he was so distracted that she was right upon him before he looked up. He had a fierce look in his eyes and pushed the book towards her "anything to tell me?" He asked.
Her eyes came upon the words TIMETRAVEL right there in bold, of course he would find out. He was still looking at her.
"I saw you in this section the other day and saw you put this book back, I waited until I knew you wouldn't find me and came back to see what you were so engrossed in."
"I was about to explain if you would like to go somewhere that we can be alone" she said. He nodded and lead her out to the whomping willow.
"This is the one place that I know we won't be disturbed, I have some things to tell you as well if you tell me the truth, I need to know that I can trust you with this secret" he explained.
Luna nodded and he pressed the knot and grabbed her hand to lead her down the passageway.
Once they reached the spot, he lead her to the lounge room and made a space for them on the so that they would be comfortable while they cleared the massive hippogriff in the room.
"I'll go first seeing as you already know that I'm hiding something big, about twenty years from now I will go into the Department of Mysteries with five of my friends to rescue one of their godfather's, it turns out it was a trap and that there was people called Death Eaters there, I will get into a fight with one in what's called the room of time and be sent back here somehow, all I remember from being sent back is Gold and Blue sand hitting me as I fall down and me ending up here in this time" she said whilst looking into his eyes so that he knew that what she was saying was the truth.
Remus sat there in shock, he knew that something big had happened to her but to be chucked back in time and not know whether you were ever going to see your family and friends again was beyond horrible. "Are you okay? Are you dealing okay? I couldn't begin to imagine how hard this must be for you" he said.
"I've been slowly starting to cope, but it has been hard trying to fit into what is expected in this time and not knowing whether I was going to get home, now my biggest problem has been that I'm starting to love it here and I have been fighting with my conscience on whether I actually want to go. It's also hard not trying to change things that I know is going to happen that I could save a lot of people hurt and pain" she said.
"You know that you can't change anything, right? I know it's hard but everything has to stay the same otherwise you could inadvertently make things worse rather than fix things" he said.
"Yes, I know I can't, it's hard though" she responded.
"I know, if you need anyone to talk to or a shoulder I am right here, now do you want to know my big secret? I'm not meant to tell anyone, Dumbledore's orders but I'm guessing he told you the same so it'll be fine" he said with a wink.
"Of course I want to know, you are the only one in this time that I feel like I am friends with" she said. She already knew what he was but she knew that it was important to let him tell her for his peace of mind.
"When I was four years old my father was working in the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures and he had vocally said some horrible things against werewolves, what he didn't know was that their was a werewolf in the room and he wanted revenge against my father." He paused for a moment to take a deep breath.
"He then waited until that night and snuck into my bedroom and bit me" she gasped not knowing that he had only been a child when it had happened.
"For a month we waited to see what would happen and then my parents resigned themselves to the fact that I would never have a normal life that I would always be followed around by the fact that I was a werewolf" he finished and looked down not wanting to see the disgust in her eyes at what he was.
He should have known that she wouldn't be disgusted from the way she acted about everything, a moment later she laid her hand on his shoulder and said "look at me, it's okay, it's who you are and you're a wonderful person despite the thing that you have been cursed with".
He sighed with relief and they remain there talking for a while longer and then walked together back to the castle and sat together in the Common Room talking quietly whilst doing their homework and both went to bed feeling like a weight had been lifted from their shoulders with.
January 12, 1975
Luna was having a hard time as of late, she was conflicted, on one hand she wanted to return home, on the other she was happy here she had become extremely close to Remus and the other Marauders and didn't want to leave them, knowing what she knew was going to happen.
She had talked to Dumbledore about the possibility of staying even if there was a way to get her back to her time and he had explained that now that she was here and she had made a life here, if she so chose she could stay, that it was completely up to her.
She had discussed the idea of it with Remus and his true feelings on the matter showed for a second, he wanted her to stay but then his mask went up and he made it clear that he would miss her but if going back to her own time was what she wanted he would deal with it and maybe she would meet his older self and become friends again.
That was the problem lately, the word friend was chucked around so much between the two and they both didn't like it but neither had the courage to do anything about it.
Luna knew that if she didn't say anything soon her opportunity might cease to exist as he may find someone else and if she let anything get between them the future relationships may happen.
She planned it all out over the New Year's break and she knew that there was a dance coming up but the Prefects and Professors hadn't picked a theme yet, she may be able to talk to Dumbledore and get him to make it a Sadie Hawkins dance where the females asked the males to go.
She walked up to his office and knocked to here the usual "enter" and went in. "What do I owe the pleasure, Miss Lovegood?"
"I was wondering if you had a theme for the dance that is coming up next month?" She go straight to the point and asked so that she could plan on asking Remus.
"Ah… I do believe that there is still no theme! I'm guessing you have one in mind?" He asked.
"I do, it's called a Sadie Hawkins dance where the females ask the male instead of the males asking the females, it'll make things a bit different".
"What a great idea I will suggest it to the Prefects and see what we can do" he said with a smile.
Not even three hours later the school was abuzz with the news of the theme of the dance and the females were trying to pluck up the courage to ask the guy they wanted to go with them and knew that if they didn't ask soon that all the good ones would be taken.
Luna walked up to the Gryffindor table and looked at Remus sitting there looking pretty dejected, "Hey Remus, I was wondering if you had someone to go to the dance yet?"
"No, Luna, I have no one and because of the theme I won't be going no one will ask me" he said still looking down at his plate.
"I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?" She asked.
"I'm going to sit in my ro…. wait what did you say?" He spun around in his chair with a giant smile on his face.
"I said do you want to go to the dance with me?" She asked again.
"Yes! Of course I do!" He said excitedly.
"Okay! Dance! Me and you! This'll be good" Luna said and walked off.
Now the only thing she had to do was find the perfect dress, she might go and ask Lily if she could help, they weren't as close as the others but she was still friends with her.
February 14, 1975
Remus had been waiting at the bottom of the stairs to the girls dormitory for over an hour, he was nervous and had sweat running down his back because he was thinking of all the worst possible scenarios that could happen tonight. It had been a month since Luna had asked him to the dance and they had spent most of it together.
At first he had been scared that she would leave him once he had been through a full moon and left her alone for a few days but when he had returned she was waiting for him inside the library ready to look through more time travel books.
They had still not found a thing on how she could get back to her own time and Dumbledore was struggling as well. From their late night conversations Remus knew that she was considering staying and not bothering to look anymore but he had to keep hope for her even if she didn't, he didn't want her stuck here with him if there was a chance of her getting back.
He looked up towards the top floor again to see if she was coming and his breath rushed out in one go, at the top of the stairs was Luna in a stunning floor length purple dress that had accents of a lavender through it. Remus found himself clenching his face, ensuring his jaw didn't match the span of the dress to the floor. He swallowed hard in relief, unable to take his eyes off her as she glided down the stairs with one hand on the rail he noticed that the dress had billowing short sleeves.
She had her hair falling down in luxuriant curls that brought the colour of her skin out as they framed her face perfectly. Once she reached the bottom of the stairs he noticed that she had a smoky eyeshadow on and a light blush. He couldn't make his mouth open to tell her exactly how beautiful he thought she was.
She stopped before him looking down at her feet waiting for a response. He tried but again no words passed his tight throat, he was finding it difficult to breathe and Sirius was staring at the two of them with an incredulous look on his face. "Luna, you look absolutely stunning and Remus my old pal is currently trying to make himself breathe because he has lost all abilities to form a coherent sentence".
"You have?" She said as she slowly looked up into his Amber eyes.
"Yes, I'm sorry I lost my thoughts, I think that you are going to be the most beautiful girl in attendance tonight, this dress is amazing and you make it so" he said and held out his hand "shall we head down? The dance starts in fifteen minutes"
She took his arm and let him lead the way, they made small talk on the way to avoid the quiet so that their overactive minds wouldn't get in the way of them having fun for the night.
Remus already felt uncomfortable in his dress robes that Sirius and James had purchased for him for Christmas last year so that he would have something nice to wear instead of his usual worn robes, every school year they had at least two dances and it was a chance for everyone to dress up and let loose for the night. Usually Remus would sit in his room not wanting to be embarrassed but this year he could fully enjoy the festivities.
It didn't take long after they had arrived and eaten for the dancing to start and immediately the Marauders stood and asked their partners to dance.
A slow song started as they stepped onto the dance floor and Remus pulled Luna to him, leaving a small gap between them and started to dance whilst looking down into her eyes.
As they danced through the different songs he slowly pulled her closer and closer, as the band that was playing said that it was the last song he leant down ever so slowly and brushed his lips against hers to share their first kiss. He went to pull away when she threaded her hands into his locks and pulled him into deepen the kiss.
They came up for air as the last line of the song played and all they could both say was "Wow".
After that they went back up to the common room sharing a good night kiss and both stayed awake long into the night thinking about how much had changed in such a short amount of time and how happy they both were
June 07, 1975
Luna had received Dumbledore's owl at breakfast to come see him at some point during the day, it didn't matter what time as long as she came and seen him. For the rest of the day she floated through classes and exam preparation with a feeling of pure dread in her stomach, this could only mean one thing he had found a way to get her home and she was going to have to choose.
She had made a life here and she didn't know whether she could go back to her old life knowing that her Remus was here lonely and that she would go back to her time and have to deal with experiencing all that she had and living life as if nothing had happened.
When dinner had finished Luna decided that she had better go and see him otherwise she might upset him and that was the last thing that she needed.
Remus walked her up to the Headmaster's office and they paused outside knowing that whatever he wanted to see her for could change everything, he hadn't met with her in a few months wanting to let her relax for a bit.
Remus gave her a kiss and squeezed her hand "I'll wait down here for you" he said and urged her towards the staircase.
She slowly began her walk up the stairs and knocked on the door, the usual "enter" came and she started to shake as she turned the handle. In this moment she knew what she wanted to do, she wanted to stay here in the past and make this her home instead of going back and wondering what could have been.
She sat down in her usual seat waiting for him to drop the bomb that he had found a way to get her back and decided to tell him her decision before he had the chance.
"I've decided that I want to stay here and build a life for myself instead of going back to the future and going through life as a shell of myself" she finished and looked up at him.
"My dear, I still haven't found a way to get you back to your time but I wanted to check in with how you were going as it is coming up on a year since you came here. I see now that you prefer it here" he said.
"I didn't click to the date, it's really been a year since I came?" Dumbledore nodded and she continued "I guess I didn't really keep too much track of time when I started to really get to know Remus and the others, they made it easier being away from home".
"Well if you are sure that you want to stay here I will stop looking for a way to get you back and concentrate on making sure that no one can ever find out about your timetravel, it could put you in real danger" he said looking off slightly to the side.
"If you are talking about Voldemort, I know exactly how much damage I would be in if he knew where I was from" she said.
"Okay, I will start the process and you can start to relax knowing that you have made a decision on your fate, now off to bed and say hello to Mr Lupin when you get downstairs" he said with a twinkle in his eye.
She stood up and with a bit of extra bounce in her step she left the office to go downstairs and start her new life officially.
September 23, 1975
They had been back at school and started into their fifth year, from day one the work was piled on and the study began it was the year of their Ordinary Wizarding Levels.
Remus had set up a strict study schedule for them all and was driving them mad but Luna loved every bit of it, over the holidays they had met up several times and she had finally found her place.
Luna had vowed over the holidays that she would concentrate more on her studies now that she knew for sure that she wasn't going anywhere, it was easier knowing that she wasn't going to be pulled out of the middle of a subject and sent back to her time without any chance of saying goodbye.
She also vowed that she was going to branch out and make other friends, The Marauders and Lily were great yes but Luna liked to have lots of friends to hang around now that she had experienced the joys of being able to joke around with them and have fun instead of always being the outsider.
Her relationship with Remus had blossomed since the dance and they had been practically inseparable since. She would quite often wake up at the home that Dumbledore had set up for her to find that he had snuck out of his home and into hers during the night.
He had also become extremely protective over her and only those that he approved of would be able to come near her. She had no idea why he was so protective but it wasn't something that she was going to fight him on.
She had tried to comment on his over protectiveness during the Summer holidays when a muggle postman had come to her house and he had nearly attacked him. She knew that eventually they would have to talk but she didn't want another fight to get in the way of their blossoming relationship at the moment.
If she left it long enough she had a feeling that he would come and talk to her, it was the way he was. He couldn't let things rest he had to air it all out and have people on the same page as him.
November 15, 1975
Remus had been stressing over this conversation for months, he didn't think that she would freak out, she was naturally okay with everything that came her way but this was something huge and the fact that they were only fifteen was even bigger.
He had asked if she would meet him up in the Astronomy tower the other day that they needed somewhere private to discuss what he had to tell her and she had given him one of her looks that told him that there was something that happened in the future that was about to be revealed. She had slowly been telling him everything and at first all that she had been through had been overwhelming then he had time to come to terms with it all and he would deal with whatever came next.
So he waited outside the Gryffindor Common Room and thought of why she would change the location from somewhere as private as the Astronomy tower to the Gryffindor Tower which was the furthest place from private that you could get. She came down the hall, with a smile on her face and said "follow me!"
As usual when it came to Luna it was best to do as she said because there was always some reason that you couldn't see at first. They walked further into the seventh floor they came to a wall with a tapestry of a man teaching some trolls ballet and a blank wall. She started to pace back and forth in front of the blank wall and after the third pass a brown oak door appeared.
"What is this?" He asked.
"This is the Room of Requirement, it makes a room to fit with whatever you may need, take for instance if you need a room to practise spells without being found out it will create a safe space for you…." she said suddenly drifting off into one of her moments where she remembered something from the future.
Remus walked over to the door and pushed it open knowing that if he made movement she would follow and he could tell her something that would drive her life more of the path.
He found within the room a plush, red loveseat and two matching armchairs, there were taps nearby with cups so that they could get a drink if needed, he thought that with what he was about to reveal that they would need them so went over and filled two glasses and then turned to see that Luna had followed him in and taken a seat on the loveseat, he went and placed the drinks on the oak coffee table that had appeared and sat down next to her.
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Luna asked getting straight to the point.
He looked down at his lap, took a deep breath in and started "I've known this for a few months, since you came out and got me at the end of the full moon in July. My wolf told me and I knew in my heart that he was right.." he trailed off and looked into her eyes.
"What is it Remus?" She asked. He couldn't keep his mind straight it was a mess and he was nervous so he was rambling.
"My wolf seemed to sense you from the beginning if you were stressing or emotional in anyway he would be overactive, he also had a sense of your thoughts, he only started to let me in on this fact a few months ago but this all adds up to one thing…"
"Remus, get it out, you are making me anxious" she stated.
"The thing is you are my true mate, it means that you are the one that fits my wolf the best, he can find other mates but they will be chosen. You will always be the most important being in his life and mine" he spat out.
"Oh.. well I guess we know how our future relationship will go then" she said in her usual relaxed tone.
Remus sat there in shock for a moment that she accepted it so quickly and easily but he should have known she always takes things as they come.
They took some time talking about what being true mates meant for them and what they would have to do to make the mate bond enact and then went back to the common room and relaxed both thinking of how this was perfect as then they knew that their relationship would last.
February 14,1976
Remus had been planning this day for months, they had been together for a year now and that to him was something big, he had never felt like he has with Luna in the past year and before they made their relationship official she had become his best friend, he couldn't let it go by without making it special.
He had enlisted Lily's help and had made the Room of Requirement into the perfect date place for Luna and he had organised for the House Elves to deliver a picnic so that they wouldn't have to leave the room for anything.
James, Sirius and Peter were all under the impression that he was going to take her out of the castle so that they wouldn't try and do something crazy.
Luna was due in twenty minutes but he knew that she would be early as she was excited to finally see what he had planned. He had kept it secret from her and she hated it because it was the only thing they kept from each other. He had opened up about everything that had happened to him since he was bitten and she had told him everything from the future and now she understood the look of pure sadness whenever she looked at James, Lily, Sirius, Frank and Alice they weren't going to have a bright future and she had tried to change it but Dumbledore kept interfering.
Remus had told her that she couldn't change anything either, they needed to go through what they went through so that they could make this world a better place for the future generations.
As he was thinking about what his future was going to be like without his friends he heard the door open and looked up to see Luna looking radiant as ever and wearing jeans that were pure sin, he didn't know how he would be able to control himself or the wolf with her looking like that and from the look on her face she knew this.
He held his hand out and when she placed hers in his he pulled her in close and placed his lips over hers moving his tongue over the seam of her lips and sucking her bottom lip into his mouth slightly nipping it, the moan that passed through her body had him feeling hot and uncomfortable. He released her and as he sat down readjusted his pants and started setting out the plates.
She smiled at him and popped a grape into her mouth "thank you for going to so much trouble, my love" she said.
"Definitely okay, my light, what would you like to do today besides the picnic? I wanted there to be at least one thing that there was only us but we can do anything you want after this" he said.
"This is perfect, let's stay here where no one can reach us and have some fun" she said.
He smiled at her and she placed her plate down and crawled over to him and kissed him hard, thrusting her tongue into his mouth and placing her hands into his hair.
He knew that she thought she was ready for all of this but he knew different so kissed her for a bit longer and slowly pulled back "Love, we have plenty of time for that later, let's celebrate us now" he said and she pulled back and started talking about how the last year had gone. Not really worried that he had stopped and that's what he loved about her, she never took anything to heart and he could say no without hurting her feelings.
"Happy One Year Remus" she said with a smile
"Happy Anniversary Luna" he said and went back to eating.
June 18, 1976
Two years. That's how long Luna had been here, she still missed her friends and family but couldn't think of changing anything she had made an amazing life here and would miss it dearly.
Dumbledore had sent her an owl that morning that she and the others were to meet him in his office. He had something massive to do to mark the occasion.
So after classes had ended for the day they all walked up to his office. Lily, James, Sirius and Peter were confused on why Luna coming to Hogwarts was such a big deal but they went along with it anyway knowing that Dumbledore always had a reason for doing what he did.
When they arrived he was waiting up in his office with Professor McGonagall, who looked as if she would rather be anywhere than in the office with these students. She of course knew what was going on but she didn't see the need to celebrate an anniversary like this, the day that the poor girl was ripped from her family and friends so abruptly.
Luna was happy to celebrate as it marked the day that she had come into Remus' life and that was something to celebrate, she didn't know what she'd do now if she was suddenly ripped from here back to her time these guys had become like family.
"I have decided that Miss Burke needs to have proper ties here, it will help strengthen her magical core and protection. The way to do this is to make her someone's family now I was going to make it me but then I received an owl from someone in the ministry after I sent the approval forms in and they volunteered their family as she was close to their son" he said.
Everyone looked around at each other wondering who he was talking about and then James stepped forward "Sir, is it my father that sent you the owl?"
"Why yes it is James" Dumbledore said.
"How do we make it official?" James questioned. Looking at Luna with a smile, he saw tears come to her eyes and Remus place his arm around her, this was an emotional moment.
Dumbledore cleared his throat and said "First I have decided because Luna is such a big part of all your lives that you should know the real circumstances behind her arrival here, now I know Remus knows but the rest of you are still in the dark"
They all nodded and he continued "She was in a fight with some people called Death Eaters and was knocked back into a cabinet, this cabinet contained Time Turners, Luna was brought back to our time twenty years from now and we had been working to find a way back for over a year but then Luna made the decision to stay here".
The room was silent for a moment and then James spoke up and said "then I guess she really does need a family to protect her then, doesn't she? Let's do this, let's make her my sister in more ways than she has already become".
Dumbledore stepped forward and told them to hold each other's forearms and for James to say that he accepted her into his family wholeheartedly and would always love her. After they had done this Dumbledore moved his wand around their arms and body saying the words "familiae capere".
The two forearms glowed gold for about thirty seconds and then they felt a cord like air move through them and knot together.
"I don't know how I can thank you James" Luna said sounding slightly choked up.
"You don't have to thank me or my family, sis" he responded with a giant grin on his face "I've always wanted a sister to make fun of".
They all burst into laughter and gave each other a hug, no one seeming to notice the slight glint in Peter's eyes.
They stayed for a while longer and James' parents came to meet Luna having stayed away to make it special for the small group but still wanting to meet the girl they has adopted as their daughter.
November 12, 1976
Luna and Remus had made a habit of going up to the room of requirement at least once a week from when he had told her that they were true mates. He said that they had to do some mating ritual but he didn't want to do it while they were still at school. She didn't understand why they had to wait but if it calmed Remus down she would go along with it.
Lately he had been stressing over every little thing and had said that he felt like his older self should have done more to stop her from coming back that this was no life for someone like her. She should be with her father and her friends that she talked about so much.
It was time that they sit down and her have another one of her talks with him about stressing over things that you can't change.
So when he had said that they should go to their place today she took that as the perfect opportunity and had grabbed some snacks and drinks from the kitchen and headed up to wait for him to finish. This afternoon was the only day that they didn't have the same schedule and that was because Dumbledore had made sure that she had a day that she could research time travel and the free period had stuck even now that she was staying.
Remus arrived not long after her and pulled her into a long, demanding kiss. He had been doing this a lot more lately. Before he used to cut their kisses off before they could get heated but now he stayed for a bit longer and would lose control. He had said that his wolf was getting restless with him about making her his mate.
"Remus, you have to understand that I came here for a reason, it's happened before, it will happen again, there is nothing that we can do to change it and I don't want to change it, you make me so happy and since I've been here I've found my place in this world" she said as soon as he pulled back and got comfortable on the lounge.
"You shouldn't be stuck here like this.. you shouldn't be stuck with me. You deserve so much better" he said.
"Look at me" she said, he looked up into her eyes and she continued "I would not go back for anything, this is where I'm meant to be and where I want to be, I love you Remus."
"I love you too, my golden light" he said with a smile.
Luna couldn't understand where his self conscious came from, he was an amazing person but she would have to work harder to make him see that she was happy staying here and that she wouldn't change anything that had happened to her, it was meant to be that she went into that time room at that time.
August 13, 1977
Remus had a bad feeling about this raid from word go. Dumbledore had called them in and talked through the details, but something didn't add up. They had been on plenty of raids since finishing school and they had all been fine, but his wolf was restless on this one.
He had tried to talk Luna out of going, but she was standing her guard and wouldn't allow herself to be seen as weak. He had explained she wouldn't be, that something was off, but she still insisted.
Lily was going so Luna was, and she was quite stubborn when she wanted to be. Sometimes it annoyed the absolute hell out of him; this was one of those times.
It was time to head out of Headquarters and set up a perimeter. They were split into teams, the auror that was dividing everyone up paired Luna with Sirius and Remus with Peter. Scowling, he made every attempt to swap for Luna, but they weren't having any of that.
"It's okay mate, I'll watch out for her. You have nothing to worry about," Sirius said, slapping a hand on his shoulder as they made to leave.
"Thanks, Sirius. I don't have a good feeling about this, and would rather know she was safe over being out here with us," he replied.
"It'll be fine. See you on the other side!" Sirius said before grabbing Luna's arm and apparating out.
Remus followed suit by apparating and once Peter had joined him they started toward their target "You okay, Pete? You seem a bit nervous," he asked the shorter boy.
"It's this raid, it's making me antsy," he replied and Remus nodded, fully understanding how his friend was feeling. Remus couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible was going to happen, or that the something terrible was going to be surrounding Luna.
"Let's get through this and then we can relax a bit," Remus said.
They continued on, about to reach the main street of where they were all converging on when Peter started coughing loudly. Remus tried to get him to be quiet, but it was too late. They had been compromised, and the Death Eaters started firing spells in their direction. During the commotion, he saw Sirius go down and two burly men in masks grab Luna.
His eyes flashed, as an inhuman growl erupted from him. He darted after them, but by the time he reached where they had been, they had apparated out. Remus fell to his knees in despair, his hands pulling at his hair in defeat. He had let the most important person in his life down. He should have listened to his wolf and forced her to stay away. It knew that something was going to happen to their mate and had tried to warn him, but he had failed.
A wave of pure unadulterated, anger washed over him and he stood up, returning to the battle, flinging curses at Death Eaters and showing no mercy. All of his comrades that were still standing stopped and stared at him in action. They gazed around with wide eyes to see what had set him off, noticing that Luna was nowhere in sight. Instantly they were back in the fray, helping him defeat everyone so they could get back and find her.
September 12, 1977
Remus frantically looked everywhere for her, and still hadn't seen or heard anything. It's been over a month since they started their search, and still nothing.
When they had went on that raid, he had a feeling that something bad was going to happen but ignored it for the good of the mission.
Now she was missing: his golden haired light had been taken from him, and he couldn't do a thing about it. Except search.
The others had given up weeks ago, there was no sign of her anywhere. Remus, more determined than ever, couldn't give up hope. He needed her in his life. She had given him faith that he could be a good person.
His mind raced back over the past months with her, remembering their first date, and her being her usual whimsical self. He laughed at his memory where she talked about something called a Nargle being responsible for some of his items being missing.
He had known even then she was the person who had taken his sweater and his shirt. It was confirmed the night she had that nightmare, and Lily removing the ward on their dormitory so he could enter and help her.
There she was, all tangled up in her bedding wearing his favourite shirt and he didn't mind one bit. She had once said that his scent comforted her when she was feeling lost and scared.
He had been allowed to stay with her for the rest of the night and had never wanted to sleep without her by his side again. He hadn't slept a full night since.
He couldn't let her be gone. He needed her as she needed him. Calling it a night, he made to leave when a blinding blue light flashed above him, a piece of parchment fluttering down to the ground at his feet.
His hands shook as he opened it, reading the contents of the letter that seemed to be addressed to him.
"Remus,
I hope that this letter finds you in time. I have enclosed the coordinates and the people responsible of your moonlight's whereabouts.,Last time she was taken, there was no warning.
This is your one chance to save her. By now she will have only been locked away, if you wait they will start to torture her for information.
Be quick,
Signed,
Your saving grace"
Beneath the signature lay the names of both a location and three men. He quickly apparated to James', knowing that Sirius would also be there. If he was lucky, maybe Dumbledore would be too.
He landed in the living room with a pop! and stumbled forward. His friends stared at him for a moment at his sudden appearance.
"I know where Luna is."
Jumping into action, they began making a plan. Within an hour, the final details were made and they apparated to the letter's coordinates. They found themselves standing outside a house, ready to race in.
The three friends exchanged looks. Sirius said he would go around back, James to the side and Remus through the front. They weren't taking any chances with Luna, she was too precious and too naive to deal with this kind of shit.
Remus only had the one thing on his mind: getting his mate out. The others were here for that reason as well; however, they were also there to gather intel on the Death Eaters, Dumbledore's orders.
As soon as they rescued Luna, he was going to ensure she was safe, then planned on making their mate bond official. He couldn't go through the stress of not being able to find her again.
The end... or is it xx
