Disclaimer: As with all my many fics I own nothing but the original characters and the plot line. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

Lost Without You

"I want to thank you again, Miss.Otowa. I was so nervous that I was ready to just leave and save myself the embarrassment of screwing up." The young man said with an earnest look on his face as he walked along side Madoka Otowa, the current star of the music world. Her violin playing was said to be like a gift from the gods, anyone who heard her play left feeling blessed and at peace. He was no exception and he was completely in awe of the woman beside him. "If you hadn't given me that pep talk...well I never would have gotten in."

"It was no problem, really. I was glad to help." Madoka said with a smile, looking over at him though her large dark eyes couldn't see him or anything else for that matter. "And please, call me Madoka, Suichi. We're going to be playing together after all and I hope we can be friends."

"It..would be my honor to be your friend." Suichi stammered up, his handsome face beaming down at her. "I just know I'm going to learn so much, working with you."

"And I from you. Every person you meet has something to teach you if you only pause to learn it." Madoka said with a kind smile as her seeing eye dog, Mozart, led the way down the hallway. She was rather tired from a long day of practicing but she felt excited too. She was to be in a large concert soon that would require plenty of preparation and challenge since there was a composer writing all new music just for the event. Music that would challenge even the most accomplished of musicians.


"Are you going for lunch?" Suichi wanted to know, thinking that perhaps he could ask her to join him at one of the restaurants nearby. She was so talented and beautiful, the perfect woman as far as he could see. Imagine having her as a girlfriend.

"Yes, Shido is meeting me here and we're going to visit some friends of ours. Well Shido doesn't like Ban very much but I think they're getting better." Madoka said with a soft chuckle. "Ginji and I are determined to see those two at least act civil to each other before the end of the year."

"They're all friends of yours?" Suichi asked carefully, not wanting to make his interest too apparent, especially if one of these guys she'd mentioned was more then just a friend. After all, Madoka was such a lovely woman it was to be expected that she'd have a boyfriend.

"Oh yes, my very best friends. My violin was stolen a few months ago and I hired Ban and Ginji to get it back for me. They're called the GetBackers and they can really get back anything, guaranteed. That's when I met Shido too but he doesn't work with them." Madoka explained with a soft look coming into her eyes. "Ever since then we've stayed in touch."

"Oh." Suichi said with a smile, taking that to mean none of them were of any threat. If they were she would have said that one of them was her boyfriend. "Well maybe after the next rehearsal you and I could go out to lunch or dinner somewhere."

Looking over at him in surprise Madoka smiled, pleased to have made a new friend. He seemed like a really nice person. "I'd like that. There are some really good restaurants around here."

"It's a date then." Suichi said with a beaming smile.


"A date? But..." Madoka was about to say something when Mozart started barking happily, signaling the arrival of his favorite person after Madoka. "Oh, Shido must be nearby." Madoka beamed, letting go of the dog's handle. "Go ahead, boy." She laughed, not surprised when her dog went running down the hall before disappearing from view. "The two are very close." Madoka explained to Suichi, continuing to walk down the familiar hallway. "When Mozart isn't with me he's always with Shido and Shido's other pets."

"He's an animal lover?"

"Oh yes. People call him the Beast Master because animals come when he calls them. He likes them better then people." Madoka explained, not thinking how strange it might seem to someone, the idea of animals following Shido like he was the Pied Piper. "I like his lion the best."

"His..his lion?" Suichi repeated, sure that he must have heard wrong.

"Yes, I'm not sure where he got him from though. I mean it must be pretty hard to find a lion in Japan, wouldn't you think?" Madoka said with a delicate shrug. "It's so funny to put your head to his side and listen to his heart beat. I like to braid his mane too, even though Shido says it's not right to do that to the king of the jungle. I don't think the lion minds though."

"Are you sure..it's a real lion?" Suichi asked, getting a bad feeling in his stomach.

"Oh yes. Maybe you'd like to meet him sometime?" Madoka inquired, not seeing the fear that leapt into his eyes at the idea. Hearing the faintest of footsteps Madoka turned, her special smile, the one just for Shido, crossing her lips. "Shido!"


"Madoka." Shido said with his hands in his pockets, his heart sinking as he looked at the man Mozart said was interested in Madoka. The young man was pretty boy handsome and Mozart said he was a violinist, just like Madoka. A normal, talented young man who would be perfectly suited for Madoka from all appearances.

"This is Suichi Tayanki." Madoka said with a beaming smile, gesturing in her new friend's direction, completely unaware of the way the two men were eyeing each other competitively. Suichi being obvious and Shido hiding his interest behind an ice cold stare. "I was just telling him how good you were with animals and about your lion."

Which would explain why the kid was looking at him with such uneasiness, Shido speculated in amusement, giving the kid a once over. Maybe he wasn't good enough for Madoka after all, Shido thought with more relief then he'd ever admit. After all Madoka needed someone who could take care of her too. Who would give up everything for her...the way he himself would. "Tayanki." Shido said with a curt nod, bordering on rude. He had lousy people skills and the fact didn't bother him in the least. Except when it came to Madoka. With her he wished he had the words other people seemed to find and use so easily.


"Hello." Suichi said with a nod of his own, not knowing what the man's last name was since Madoka had forgotten to mention it.

"We should be heading over to that stupid hangout of theirs." Shido said swiftly, turning all his attention to Madoka and ignoring Suichi. Not out of rudeness but because he just had nothing to say to the other man now that he'd looked his fill. "I don't want to be around Ban longer then I have to. If we're lucky they won't be there."

"Now, Shido." Madoka reprimanded softly. "You know if you just gave Ban a chance you'd like him a lot more."

"I wish my lion had eaten him." Was Shido's short reply.

"He doesn't mean it." Madoka assured Suichi who was looking at Shido like it was he who was about to be thrown to the lions. "He just pretends to hate Ban. They just dislike each other for the fun of it. At least that's Natsumi's theory."

"Well seeing as she's friends of theirs that's not saying much." Shido pointed out with a dark look. He hated Ban and there was nothing more to it. One of these days he and that guy were going to go head to head and only one of them was coming out of it in one piece.

"Well I should let you guys get going to see your friends." Suichi said with a weak smile in Madoka's direction. "I'll see you on Tuesday, Madoka. Nice to meet you, Shido."

"Bye bye." Madoka said with a smile while Shido settled for a nod before watching the other man make himself scarce pretty quick.


He made the kid nervous it would see, Shido thought, pleased with the idea. Turning to look back at Madoka who was smiling at him happily Shido felt his heart beat pick up from her smile alone. She had a way of smiling at him that was like the sun suddenly shining down on you after years of utter darkness. He didn't know what he'd do if she ever stopped smiling at him like that. "He likes you."

"Hmm?" Madoka said questioningly as she walked over to his side, linking her arm with his out of habit.

"That Tayanki guy. He likes you." Shido pointed out, wondering if as usual she was clueless to her appeal to the opposite sex. He'd been around her enough to know that such things tended to go completely over her head unless it was pointed out to her. Hell she'd invited a strange man to live with her after only meeting him a handful of times. None of those times being exhibitions of his good character. If she'd been able to see him that time she'd come across him fighting that dangerous four eyes, seen him in his true beast form..well then he certainly wouldn't be paying her rent right now. "Mozart said that he asked you out to lunch after your next rehearsal."

"Yes he did." Madoka said with a rather sheepish smile. "I didn't realize he was thinking of it as a date until he said so. After I'd told him I'd go. I'll have to correct him on Tuesday."

"Correct him?" Shido repeated, turning his body to the side slightly so that he could help her down the stairs that led to the entrance of the concert hall.


"Yes. I would enjoy his company as a friend but I'm not interested in dating him." Madoka explained, passing through the door as he opened it for her so that they were now outside, the sun bright and shining down upon her. Even though she couldn't see it she could feel its welcoming rays which brought another smile to her face as they walked towards the sidewalk. She could hear faintly the traffic, the sounds of people going places, their lives playing out around her like a tape with no picture. But she could imagine and that was enough. After all it was hard to miss something she'd never had.

"Really, why not?" Shido wanted to know, looking over at her questioningly. There weren't a lot of people around but he still kept a firm grip on her arm, simply to keep her close while Mozart happily walked beside her, trusting Shido to keep his mistress safe.

Looking up at Shido Madoka in surprise she simply sighed and shook her head ruefully. Shido knew so much but there were just some things where he was as clueless about as she was. Everyone was always teasing her about her feelings for Shido but it seemed like it always went right over Shido's head which wasn't a good thing since she was too shy and unsure of his own feelings to tell him herself. Like for instance now, where he'd given her a perfect opportunity that she was just too cowardly to take. But she did have to answer him. "Well he's...he's just not the sort of man I'm interested in." Madoka finally replied, figuring that was as good an excuse as she was going to come up with at the moment. It was true after all. Suichi wasn't the sort of guy for her for the sole reason that he just wasn't Shido.

"Oh." Shido replied, not sure what to think of that.


"He's a nice person but it would be wrong of me to let him think a relationship with me would go anywhere beyond friends." Madoka continued, smiling up at him before laying her head against his shoulder, keeping it there as they continued to walk along the quiet street. They were a picture perfect couple, strolling along the street together on a perfect day, wrapped up in each other with their faithful dog trailing beside them. She delicately beautiful while he was strongly handsome with a protective and yet gentle air about him. You just knew from looking at the two that this was a man who would do anything for the woman who leaned against his side and she for him.

"Well I'm sure you'll find someone someday soon." Shido said softly, knowing that it was most girls dreams to have some handsome, daring young man sweep them off their feet. It was bound to happen to his Madoka someday. And then she wouldn't be his anymore.

"Oh but I already have." Madoka blurted out before blushing hotly as she felt his fierce gaze suddenly turned to her.

"You..you have?" Shido asked, forcing his voice not to shake. Who was it? She hadn't mentioned anything to him or any of the animals, they would have told him. They at least knew how he felt about her.

"Yes, but I don't think that anything will ever come out of it. I don't think he likes me in that way. But that's okay, so long as I can be near him." Madoka said, looking up at him, mentally pleading with him to know that it was him she was talking about. But if he didn't she'd accept it so long as he stayed with her. She couldn't imagine life without him in it, not since he'd come out of the darkness to ask her to play for him.


"Then he's a fool." Shido said shortly, pushing back the pain her words caused. As much as they hurt, as much as the idea of her with someone else killed him he would just have to bear it. He'd bear it because he had to stay in her life, even if it was only as a friend. What he truly couldn't bear was being without her completely. She was as much a part of him as his flesh and blood now. The light in the darkness that had slowly been sucking him in before she'd come. He didn't want to go back to the way things were. It would be much worse then any pain he'd felt when Ginji had left him and the other Volts. This would kill him.

"No, he's anything but. He's the most wonderful person I know. He's sweet and kind and he makes me so happy. I could simply sit with him all day long without saying a word and be content." Madoka said with a sigh, not even aware of the wistful tone to it. "I love the sound of his voice, the way it changes when he's talking to his pets."

"He's an animal lover?" Shido asked, trying to think of anyone she'd ever mentioned who had more then one pet. There were a few male friends of hers that he knew of but he couldn't recall Madoka acting any differently around any of them.

"Yes, he loves them more then people or anyone else. They're his best friends."

"Oh. Have I met him?" Shido wanted to know, not being able to come up with even one person that fit that description in his mind. He knew most of the people she did because she insisted on bringing them to the house to introduce him to. Not that she had a lot of friends. Not because she wasn't a wonderful person but because she'd spent so much of her life studying music and honing her craft. Her schedule hadn't left a lot of free time for her to go out and meet people her own age.

"Not exactly. I see him differently then you do." Madoka replied quietly, her words perfectly true. She had the feeling that Shido saw himself as a misfit, a strange creature that didn't fit into the world of man at all. It did seem like the only people he could stand being around were her and the other members of his gang. Ginji said he'd always been like that. Only his animals got to see the true Shido. The Shido he didn't even know he was inside.

"How does he see himself?" Shido asked, figuring that odds were this guy saw himself better then Madoka could. She tended to see the goodness in people, believing in them even when they weren't deserving of her kindness. Like him.

"I don't know exactly, it's hard to read him, much less understand him. But that's okay, because I learn something new about him all the time." Madoka said with a smile as they turned the corner so that they were now on the right street with only a couple blocks left to go before they reached their destination.

"So you see him often."

"Every day."


"Every day...but..." Shido began, looking down at her in confusion. There was no one that worked for her that fit that description and he should know since he was...with her most every day. "Madoka..." Shido said slowly, stopping where they were and letting her go moved to stand in front of her, blocking her way. "What's the name..of this man?" He asked slowly, his heart beating so fast he wouldn't have been surprised if her sensitive ears could hear it.

"I...uhm...that's not important." As she let his arm go, groping around for Mozart's handle.

"It is important..it's important to me." Shido said as he took her hand in his, tugging her closer. "Who is it, Madoka?"

"It's...he's...I...Shido...you." Madoka said so quietly only the most sensitive ears would have caught it. One minute she was standing there and the next she was in his arms, his wrapped around her like bands of steel that held her gently captive. "How could it be anyone but you?"

"How could it be me though?" Shido said softly, unable to believe and yet she stayed in his arms without moving, holding him just as closely as he held her. "How could someone like you care for a monster like me?"


"You're never a monster, even at your worst, Shido. You may not see that, but I do. I love you, every part of you. So long as you stay with me..I'll be happy. I hope you never leave me! "If you ever went away..I'd hire Ginji and Ban to find you. You know they have a 100 success rate!" Madoka declared, going red in the face as she dropped her gaze to the ground, unable to hold his gaze, unable to see the joy her words had brought him. All she could think was, Oh God, she'd told him. She'd let him see the truth and now he'd tell her. He'd tell her how he felt about her.

"How could I leave you?" Shido asked quietly, reaching down with his hand to gently lift her chin up so that he could look into her face. It was the fact of the girl he loved more then anything or anyone in this world. The face of the woman he would die for, give everything to at her whim. His one and only reason for living. The one person he couldn't live without. "I'd be lost without you." Shido whispered as he leaned down, brushing his lips against hers.