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A/N: While working on the Souka Hatsu story, I came up with this. It's short, but I like it.


Name: Wrong corridor

Genre: Romance/Humor

Pairings: Chris x Jill, one-sided Carlos x Jill, hints of Claire x Leon

Rating: T for tramps... Okay, T is for teen! You got me! Can't a girl joke?..

Disclaimer: A little advice for you kids: next time try to find a map when you're in the unfamiliar surroundings if you don't want to end up like Carlos...Post RE3 and Code Veronica. Warning: mild sexual themes.


The safe house was quiet. Too quiet for Carlos's liking, so he stood and decided to explore the haven he, as well as Jill and Chris along with Barry and Rebecca and Claire were staying.

After the events of the Raccoon City disaster Barry brought them here, saying that it was probably safer then their own houses right now. Carlos didn't complain; he didn't have a home at all, actually, a permanent one at least, due to his job. And he doubted that after his... Resignation from Umbrella they would kindly let him stay in his last apartament in Monaco. Jill didn't complain either, considering her house was destroyed along with the whole Raccoon.

When they arrived, he got to meet the inhabitats of the safe house, who all rushed downstairs as they heard the door open and close. Everyone hugged Jill, who tiredly but happily hugged back, cried and shouts:"Gosh I can't believe your okay!" could be heard. Carlos even got a little worried when Rebecca Chambers, the medic, squeezed Jill too tought and nearly strangled her to death. Rebecca, as he thought, was a cute sweet girl, but sometimes she could be violent and dangerous without even knowing it. Claire Redfield was a sister of Chris Redfield, Jill's partner from S.T.A.R.S., with whom they'd survived the Spencer Mansion together. She was talking about him a lot during their escapade, but only as a good partner and a friend, and Carlos didn't worry too much and secretly hoped... Of course he could be mistaking because women were truly evil creatures, but man't ego is always there and Carlos though he could read girls like open books. So, he thought that Jill was alone for now and he could ask her out. Even the little incident while their escapade still made him think Jill would like him...

2 days ago, Raccoon City

"The ladies love my accent. It drives them crazy!"

"..."

"I said it drives them crazy!"

"..."

"I said... OW MY NOSE! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT!?"

"FALCON PUNCH, Carlos. Now shut the fuck up and give me the grenade launcher. I have this grand awesome macho in leather to kill"

"S.T.A.R.S.!"..

Present

...Talk about man's ego.

Leon was a quiet guy who had a serious look on his almost girly features. He was blond, but Carlos had a suspicion that it wasn't his true hair colour... Carlos thought the young cop was a socially awkward type untill he saw his smile and the way Leon was eyeing Claire... He finally found his match. Leon was a ladies man as well . The cop and the mercenary almost immediately decided to hold up a drink contest. By the way Leon's eyes twinkled when he agreed and glanced at Claire, Carlos assumed the contest was going to end in Claire's bed for Leon... The only problem was Chris who was against the friendly party. He was treated like some sort of a leader, the mercenary noted when nobody complained.

It wasn't like he didn't drink, Carlos thought angirly when Chris came and denied the party. This... Redfield guy... He couldn't say he didn't like him at the first sight, but he got slightly worried when he and Jill departed from the group that consisted of chatting Claire, Barry, Rebecca and Leon and silently hugged in the shadows of a living room. They seemed to be just friends, but... Carlos's senses picked up something more. But he soon had forgotten about it as Chris excused himself and went upstairs, saying with a smile that what the hell, do whatever you want. They all cheered, including Jill, but decided against the drinking competition and decided just to throw a party. Claire and Rebecca stormed off to the kitchen, saying they were going to do some food, and shut the door right before Jill's nose. As Jill loudly protested, the girls from the other side giggled and said that she couldn't even do bacon without burning it. Sighting in defeat, Jill turned rolled her eyes at a laughing Barry, whom Carlos assumed he was a little afraid of because of his bear-like size, but mostly because of the looks Barry was giving him when he was eyeing Jill hungirly. A typical overprotective father, Carlos mused. He knew Jill's true father was a thief and died on the crime spot, being shot, so he assumed Barry was her second dad.

After Jill's access to the kitchen was denied, she went upstairs, followed by Barry's throaty laughter. Leon sneaked into the kitchen to "help Claire" as he said, but when Rebecca soon stormed out with a stone expression, Carlos instantly knew what "help" Leon was talking about. Smiling at the flushed Rebecca, who decided to watch a comedy with Barry on the TV, Carlos decided to go upstairs and find his room. The house was huge, it didn't even look like a safehouse at all. More like the R.P.D. building, he thought, finally reaching the second floor. These wide corridors with beutiful lamps, paintings on the walls... Well, maybe the point of a safehouse was not to be looking like a safe house at all, but Carlos would like it to look more humble.

The suits of armor in the corners were too much. He scoffed as he turned absentminedly, only to find...

That he was completely lost in this large house.

Okay, maybe thinking hard about something and analyzing his surroundings wasn't the best thing to do when his legs were absentmindedly still walking. He was told his room was with a while door with a golden-like handle, but the problem was that all doors here were white and with golden like handles. Well, except a few maybe. Of course, he was told that his door was special, but in what way? "I'm so gonna kick Claire's ass... If I ever find a way out" - thought Carlos darkly and decided to ask Chris when he meets him again if this place had a map.

Suddenly a small sound interrupted his thoughts. Carlos stiffened, listening, his ears nearly moving, but nothing could be heard. The mercenary was about to admit he was starting to hear things when the sound was heard once again. And again. As Carlos identified it, his eyes widened in shock.

A moan.

Carlos frantically thought wether the zombies could be able to somehow follow him from Raccoon, but this idea was way too stupid. As he took several hesitant steps back in the unfamiliar corridor he got lost in, he heard the sound again.

The moan definitely was coming from somewhere to the right, Carlos thought as he walked forward a little more, findidng another turn and taking it. This whole damn place was like a labyrynth.

"Maybe there's a Minotaur here somewhere, and this is the cry of the prey he's eating" - Carlos thought sarcastically as another moan could be heard. And another. The intervals between the sounds became short and the moans became louder and louder with each passing second. And then, Carlos recognized it.

This moan didn't come from a zombie's rotten mouth nor from a mythological creature.

It was a sexual moan.

Carlos was practically running now, the sounds his only guide, curious and shocked beyond belief. His thoughts were something like "Oh my God, someone is having sex and it's not me!".

Finally, our hero found the corridor where the sounds seemed really loud and close. The door to the right was definitely the one where the room were in which the act took place was.

"Who could it be? Claire and Leon? Nah, they're screwing in the kitchen. Barry and Rebecca? Nah, too old, and besides, Barry has a family and he's watching TV downstairs along with the medic... "

He twisted the handle slowly and opened the door a little, peeping inside as his curiosity got the best of him. What he saw there made his jaw drop.

"Oh my God!" - Carlos nearly blurted out as quite a scene appeared right in front of hm.

Jill Valentine, sitting right on top of somebody he couldn't see yet only in her while underwear, her top and her skirt already discarded. She was moaning loudly as someone was sucking on her tender neck, sucking like a greedy vampire. As the face of the lucky man came into the view, Carlos nearly choked.

It was her S.T.A.R.S. "friend", none other than the famous Christopher Redfield.

They seemed a little too proccupied to notice Carlos. So he just stood there, enjoying the free porno show that was just about to begin before his very own eyes. He watched as Chris closed his eyes, brying himself in Jill's shoulder, kissing up to her collarbone, then passionately biting her ear and recieving a loud moan from her.

Carlos briefly wodered why Jill was moaning so loud before he found them, and he immediately got his answer when he saw Chris's hand in her panties. A small blush appeared on the mercenaries cheeks as he closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them, Jill was already without her bra and Chris without his green jacket. Carlos blinked.

"He's fast" - the mercenary thought with jealousy as Jill kissed Redfield, tugging on his spiky hair.

"Chris" - he heard her whisper to her "friend" hotly as they paused shortly to get rid of the rest of their clothes.

"Yeah?" - Redfield answered as was assaulting her breasts. Jill threw her head back.

"It's... Aah... my first time"

"I'll be gentle" - Chris promised as he ran his hands down her sides.

"Will it hurt?"

"A little" - Chris kissed down her belly as far as Carlos could see.

"We don't have a condom"

"I'll pull out"

"Love me?"

Her partner grinned as he looked up at her.

"Always"

As Chris's mouth was nearing her lower regions, Carlos politely decided to leave. As he closed the door behind him gently, his cheeks still flushed, the mercenary scratched the back of his neck and silently walked away.

"Well, my room isn't here, guess I took the wrong corridor" - he thought when he somehow found the stairs again.

When he heard moans coming from downstairs, he cursed. "Urgh, for the love of... What is it for them, a sex house!?" - thought Carlos as he walked even higher upstairs and finally found his room.

As he closed the door behind him, he fell on the bed, not even bothering to change his clothes, and murmured, hugging the pillow close to his face:

"Next time I'll ask for a map first" - and with these final words, our mercenary drifted to sleep.