A/N Hey, this is my first fan-fiction! So I really hate writing first person, so please excuse the not A+ writing, I prefer third, but this came from a prompt that I really like so I decided to post it. Also I'm testing formats, so sorry about how it looks. Please no flames, only advice and constructive criticism. Enjoy!
His eyes were puffy and red as if he'd been crying, but I didn't say anything about it.I knew Able's death was hard on him, it was hard on us all. I also knew Beck would not appreciate me bring it up. The only thing I could do was offer to talk about it, and my support.
Beck was currently staying here in the hideout. I didn't want him to be left alone so soon after Able's death. Users know that Beck's friends were too mad at him to care, so he was covered for at least a week or two.I actually set a room up for Beck quite some time ago, he didn't use it often only when he had an injury or was exhausted to the point it was too dangerous for him to drive back to Argon.
Beck's voice was shaky as he asked about some knew developments. We had been tracking Cyrus relentlessly for over two cycles; with barely any sleep. Well I had barley any sleep, earlier I had threatened that I would make him train for 8 hours non stop to get him to actually sleep. Though judging by the dark rings orbiting his eyes, barley visible beneath the pale red, he got little to none.
My core sympathized with the younger program, he didn't deserve to go through this again. I strode over to Beck who was currently leaning against the black wall sipping some energy. His jaw was clenched, eyes guarded, body tense as if he was about to attack someone. "Beck.." I sighed, "talk to me, I'm not going to be mad or show you pity. I just know that if you don't talk to someone it will eat you up inside, you wont ever be the same again."
"Please" I practically begged, I hated seeing him like this. He peered at me warily through his usually spiky hair, but was now floppy and covered his eyes, before turning his head away and glared at the floor. "I'm fine" he ground out gruffly.
"No you're not going to lie and say your fine because your not."
"Do you think Able would want to see you like this?"
"WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WOULD HAVE WANTED! HE'S DEAD! AND ITS MY FAULT! IF I HADN'T HAVE RELEASED CYRUS ABLE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE!"
Beck was somewhat out of breath by the time he finished, and his face was flushed from what I guessed was embarrassment. "Sorry" he mumbled as he shuffled back over to his room, taking the vial of blue energy with him.
I rubbed my hands over my eyes as I sighed.
I mentally created a list as I walked over to the younger programs door. "Beck? May I come in?"
I didn't receive a reply so I slowly eased open the door to find Beck beside the wall on the ground with his knees drawn in and head against his hands which were resting on the top of his knees. Beck's shoulders were shaking and he was making muffled sniveling noises.
I slowly walked over him as not to disturb the grieving program. I felt my joints pop as I lowered my self to the ground beside him using my arm to bring him to my chest.
"Shh, it's okay Beck. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." I told him softly as I combed my fingers through his hair. The only response I received was him clutching on to me like a life line. I made soft shushing noises as he began to calm.
"Beck. Beck look at me." It took a little more persuasion, but he did eventually look up to me. I scrolled through my mental list trying to choose one, and ended up choosing one of the more important ones.
"What happened to Able was not your fault. It is Cyrus's, he's the one that created the bomb that killed Able not you." I told him firmly, daring him to disagree with me, dare he did.
"If I hadn't released him, Cyrus would have never built the bomb that killed Able!" He spoke with fire, fire conceived of hatred.
"And what if someone else released Cyrus, hmm? What would have happened to them, to the grid? If you hadn't accidentally released him, there's a possibility that none of us would be here today. You're right too though, I can't tell you what Able would have wanted, but I can guess. Able would not have wanted to see you like this, he would want you to grieve, yes, but not to blame yourself for something out of your hands. So enough with the guilt, grieve for your friend, but don't ever feel guilty about what happened. Do you understand?"
Beck slowly raised his head to look me in the eye and nodded, "Thank you."
"Go to sleep Beck, I promise you Cyrus will pay for what he's done, but you need some rest and energy at the moment, so Cyrus will have to wait." Beck started to say something, but was interrupted by a yawn, so he settled for a lazy nod.
"Sleep," I commanded, not unkindly.
Beck soon fell into a restful sleep, and I quickly followed.
