Man it's been a long time since I've written a fanfiction. This idea has been swimming around in my head for a while so I thought I attempt to write it. I've been apart of the Inuyasha fandom for quite some time now, so I thought it was about time I contributed to it. Hope you like it. Enjoy.
Chapter 1 – Thinking About You
Kagome's POV
I woke with a start. My breathing unsteady, heart beating rapidly. I placed my hand over my heart and tried to take deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down.
I haven't had that nightmare in a while…
On average I have 3 nightmares a week. They're never predictable, but they all have a reoccurring purpose. To shorten my life span by 20 years.
The most reoccurring one is when I'm never able to go back to the other side of the well, I become a distant memory to Inuyasha, and he moves on with his life. While that does put me in a sour mood most of the day, it's not as awful as the other recurring dream I have.
The nightmare that likes to haunt me rarely bears its fangs, but it's twice as lethal. The dream is always so detailed, not like the other nightmare. The other one is always blurred and inconsistent. But this nightmare, this nightmare is very consistent. Every drop of blood, every scream…it never changes.
The dream always starts in the midst of a raging battle. Inuyasha, Sango Miroku, and Shippo are all their fighting, but it's not like the other countless encounters we've had. The final Naraku battle barely holds up in comparison to this nightmare. The thing is… I'm not sure what they're fighting exactly. I want to say it's a fully transformed inu yokai, but there's something strange about this one. I've only come across white inu yokai during my time in the feudal era, but this one is entirely black. It's always surrounded by some type of barrier that no one can penetrate not even Inuyasha's red Tessaiga or Sesshomaru's Bakusaiga. I always try to rush to help them, but I'm paralyzed. Each dream I try with every fiber of my being to free myself, but I'm too weak and useless. I struggle to the point of exhaustion, and as I struggle the black inu yokai swings his black claws and slaughters every single one of my friends. Shippo, Miroku, Sango, Sesshomaru, Rin, Kohaku, Jaken. While everyone lies mangled in their blood I look to see Inuyasha struggling to stand as he faces his foe. He has a deep gash running up his torso and is taking ragged breathes... Tessaiga is quivering in his hands as he attempts to hold it up.
The black yokai slowly stalks towards him, and all I can do is watch in terror. I struggle more, but I know it's pointless.
He turns to me, pain written all over his gorgeous face and forces these words from his mouth, "You could have saved us, but you abandoned us… you abandoned me." With his final words, the black beast swings one last time.
I wake as soon as a piercing scream leaves his lips. It happens like this every time, and it never gets any easier.
I know Inuyasha would never blame me for my seven year absence like he does in the dream, but his pained face is engraved in my head. Sometimes I blame myself for not being able to go back, other times I blame the bone eaters well. When the anger consumes me, I blame every damn kami that thought they could use me as a pawn in their game. How dare they bring me to my soul mate and rip me away from him!
I like to lie to myself sometimes and say I have been able to get over that fact that I haven't seen Inuyasha for seven years. That I don't feel like there's been a hole punched through my heart. The lies I tell myself help me get through the day, but at night when the nightmares consume my body…my mind… my soul… I know it's pointless to lie. Inuyasha has consumed my whole being, and I will do anything to see him again.
XxX
I rolled out of bed, "No sense of staying in bed when I can't fall back asleep".
I put on the traditional Miko clothes my grandpa gave me a few years ago. Once I graduated high school, I decided to continue the family business and work for the family shrine. It seems appropriate, since my spiritual powers are on a whole different level compared to what this era has to offer. Business has been booming since all our merchandise has been handled by someone with actual spiritual powers. I think grandpa finally realized the difference between my abilities and his, so he "retired" a few years back. Now he spends most of the day cleaning the shrine, and annoying my mother to no end. Mom and Sota help out around the shrine too sometimes. Mom is in charge of the financial aspect of the shrine business like she always has, and Sota helps here and there when he can before and after high school.
I walked out the backdoor with my bow and arrows draped over my shoulder; the morning air was crisp, waking me up as I continued walking into the forest behind the shrine. I stopped in a small clearing surrounded by trees with a few beaten targets set up randomly and set my bow and arrows down. I sit down in the slightly damp grass and begin to meditate, but my mind keeps wandering back to my dreams of Inuyasha. No matter how many steps I've taken in the direction of healing, my mind always drifts back to the first three years without him, and I feel the hole in my heart widen.
Inuyasha…
XxX
During the first three years after the well sent me back to my own time, I found myself falling into a deep depression. I don't think I ever fooled myself into thinking the well would work soon after it sent me back, but it didn't stop me from going to visit it every other day. In retrospect that's what probably did me in. When I first started visiting the well I would just sit on the edge and stare. I let my mind wander, as I try to think of explanations for my situation
I fell into a deadly routine; sleep, eat, school, well. That's all I did every day for the first year I was thrown back into the modern era. I cut of all interactions from my friends, my family, from myself. All that was left was the pain and betrayal. Dark questions would fill my mind.
What is my life worth if I can't be my Inuyasha's side?
My family and friends all tried to snap me out of it. They took me to counseling, even tried to put me on medicine, but none of it worked. I was too far gone to be helped at that point.
Over time the well started to become my enemy. My pain turned into rage, and what better to take my rage out on then the thing that started it all?
How dare it send me to the feudal era, lead me to my soul mate and then rip everything out from underneath me!
I'm not sure when the transition from thought to action happen, maybe two or three years after the incident. I was like a fuse that was finally lit. I remember unceremoniously jumping into the well and landing with a thud as my legs gave out from the impact. I just stared at the dirt for a while as I knelt in the darkness of the well.
A terrible scream randomly surged past my lips. "WHY! I sobbed. WHY WON"T YOU LET ME BACK! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SEE HIM!" I pulled my fist back and pounded it into the ground will all the force and frustration I could muster.
I remember the distinct feeling as the power surge out of me. It burst from my fist and rippled all around me before it pushed itself out to the end of the well walls. The betrayal, the anger, the sadness, the pain, it all started to wash away as my power crackle all around me.
I think I was healing myself in a way. I saw the potential in my abilities; I saw a pathway to Inuyasha. If this was my power now, imagen what I could do if I trained? I could be as powerful as Kikiyo, or Midoriko. I could potentially have the power to get myself back to the feudal era.
I gave myself a chance that day by putting the odds of going back solely on my shoulders. I somehow channeled my rage of hatred into rage of determination, and I will never give up until this hole in my heart is filled again.
I WILL see Inuyasha again, one way or another.
