Anakin,
I'm not sure what to write, or even if this'll reach you, but you told me to write, so I shall.
I'm back on Coruscant now, I have much to do in the Senate and it was impossible for me to stay on Naboo, despite Captain Typho's insistence to the contrary.
It seems that many in the Senate blame me for the war, and I believe many more will before this war is over. It was Representative Binks who called for the Chancellor to be given emergency powers, so he could authorize an army. It doesn't matter that I was unaware of this and unable to do anything to prevent it. As Jar Jar is only my representative and I am the Senator, I will get the blame. Naboo will lose much of its influence in the Senate and my people will hold me responsible.
I feel I need to apologize, but no
one would listen and it's not even my fault, but I still feel the
need to apologize, the need to be forgiven, by someone, anyone.
So
I'll apologize to you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I was
unable to prevent this war.
I'm sorry that you must fight in it.
I'm sorry that it's already cost you so much, and it's
barely even begun
I'm sorry, please, forgive me.
I worry about you every day. I
wonder where you are, if you're comfortable there, if the food's
anywhere near edible. I wonder darker things too, things I try my
best not to think about but I can't stop myself.
I want you to
be home, safe and sound.
I want to see you again.
I want that
this war had never begun.
I want peace.
I know I'm not the
only one and sometimes I try to fool myself that if we all want it
enough then it'll happen. But there's always a small voice in the
back of my mind telling me that I know it won't work. That it's
only a child's game, a child's belief, a child's wish. But it's
not; it's my wish, and I'll keep wishing. It'll work, sooner or
later, and you won't have to fight anymore.
Until then, please, stay safe and well. Send my regards to Obi-Wan. I miss you.
Your, Padmé.
