Chapter 1 Things aren't as they seem
"Good show Kane"
"Thanks," I muttered to Randy Orton as I hurried out of the building, another show down another night passed by like a train. I passed by more people I knew but no one said anything, no one ever did these days, I wasn't someone people wanted to know. I walked by myself to the hotel, a cold and empty room waiting for me on the other side. Being in the cool crisp air allowed me time to think, I didn't like thinking these days but sometimes I had no choice. Everything had started out great, like most things did and then like that it turned to shit and I found myself at the bottom of the barrel, well deeper than that, it felt like rock bottom, fifty feet of crap and then me. As my boots collided with the ground, my dark mind drifted to the ex-wife. She was once the love of my life until I found out it was all a lie. I only had one meaning to her, a nice comfortable lifestyle and while I worked to keep her in diamonds and jewels, she was fucking a no-body, Why would I fuck a freak? She screamed at me when I found out, I had heard it many times before but it still cut deep to hear it from my own wife. I was happy to see the back of her but at the same time I realised that I would as always be alone and maybe she was right, maybe I was unloveable because I played a monster. I say play, because I was paid to be the monster in your nightmares but in reality I was just like anyother man, with the exception that I can admit that I'm lonely, lonely and as I was constantly reminded, old. Sighing I went inside the hotel and straight to my room, beautiful girls by the dozens passed me but not one of them would look at me, I may be famous but I still wasn't worth their time or even kindness. I pushed the door open and tried not to remind myself that once again I would be going to be alone, sex wasn't the only part of a woman I missed, I missed holding her and just feeling her small body next to mine. Shaking away the pathetic loneliness I took a quick shower and got into some kind of nightwear, an old t-shirt and boxers. Going over to my bag and to the small pocket, my eyes began to glaze over, I didn't want to do this again but it was the only way I would see her, it was the only way I would be able to sleep without being haunted. I took out the syringe and loaded it up, I wasn't one to use drugs but since everything became a downward spiral, I discovered that I had finally quit caring. They swept my body like a loving warm virus, it hit the system instantly and suddenly I wasn't alone, I was with someone and they wanted to be with me. Everything began spinning and before I passed out, I saw her. Standing over me, her silver eyes laced with sadness that I was hurting myself again. I closed my eyes and let the dark spiral pull me towards hell, I think she called out to me stretching her hand out to me. I took it and the warmth spread throughout me again, I had her and she had me. I closed my eyes and let it all happen and like a passenger I could only observe. As the drugs worked and the hullicinations pulled at me from all angles I couldn't help my last thought, it was always the same and it was the one thing that would never change. I wish I were dead.
