Chapter 1: Strangers

Fitz had seen everything that Eli had put Clare through. To be fair, which he hated to be when it came to Eli, but still, he tried... To be fair, he had witnessed everything they had put each other through.

From Eli's intensity scaring her, to Clare pulling away: Fitz knew it all. Their on-off-on again relationship had been unpleasant to watch, but in the beginning he had been unable to look away. It was like some sort of punishment. Like 'look what you did, that could have been you, but now it's him.' As if he'd ever stood a chance. If only one person felt a connection, then there was no connection. He knew that now. Anyway, he had watched.

Clare driving around with Eli. Clare talking to Adam. Clare shopping with Alli. Clare. Clare. Clare. He'd gone to bed thinking about her and woken up thinking about her. Sometimes, in between, he had dreamed about her too.

Until one day, while he was watching Clare have an argument with Eli, it hit him. He was becoming a stalker. So, he stopped. Stopped following her around, stopped wishing death on Eli. It wasn't the Christian way and Clare wouldn't appreciate it if she found out. That didn't change the fact that Fitz still wanted to punch Eli in his stupid fucking face.

See, he was no good at this. What would Jesus do and all that. Fitz was pretty sure that Jesus had never wanted to punch someone, even though he had clearly met plenty of people who had deserved it. Jesus didn't swear either. It was just hard to quit. It had become a habit.

He could do a lot of other things, though. He could stop tailing her. He could volunteer for community work. He could go to church – not hers, because he knew she would interpret his presence incorrectly. He could pray for Steve. He could confess that he used to call her house and hang up when one of her parents answered the phone. There were two things he couldn't do. He couldn't stop cursing and he couldn't stop missing Clare.

It was more than missing her, really. Fitz was concerned. As if he didn't have enough problems of his own to worry about. But he couldn't help picking up on what was happening in her life. He heard that her parents were divorced and that Eli had crashed his freak mobile. He heard about Jake. And of course, he kept hearing about their relationship. Eli screws up. They break up. Clare forgives him. They get back together. Always the same. 1234. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Just once Fitz wanted Clare to walk away. It wasn't even because he didn't like Eli. Eli wasn't the problem. It was the two of them. Together.

Fitz knew that it was in Clare's nature to see the good in everybody. It was what she had done with him. He knew how powerful that feeling was. To feel that somebody cared and believed in you. It had made him feel better than he had ever felt.

The problem was that when they were a couple, Eli and Clare brought out the worst in each other. Apart, they were both good people, but they weren't good together.

Why couldn't Clare see that? Every time someone told Fitz that Clare and Eli were an item again, he wanted to go find her and shake some sense into her. That wasn't an option, however. He hadn't seen Clare in a long time. If he saw her now, he'd have something completely different on his mind. He probably wouldn't be able to control himself.

Nothing he could say or do would matter, anyway. Because the thing that surprised him the most – even though it really shouldn't – was that Clare still loved Eli. It drove Fitz crazy. The thought of it was in his head 24/7. He practically sleepwalked through life worrying about that girl.

Which was why, in the grocery store, he didn't look as he steered the shopping cart into the last aisle. He was thinking about the latest news. Apparently, Clare and Eli were together again.

'Why don't you watch where you're going?' he snapped as he bumped into another cart. When he looked up, he encountered a pair of familiar blue eyes.

'Fitz?'

'Clare.'