"Unless…you really…don't find me attractive." The words felt like venom as Vala said them. She wished she could take them back.

Daniel gave Vala a cutting, deeply skeptical look. "Do you want an honest answer to that question?"

"No." Vala answered. She turned around and picked up her shirt from his bed.

Daniel moved closer to Vala. "No seriously, you started this! Do you want an honest answer to the question?"

"No, don't worry about it." Vala answered. Her hands fiddled with her shirt, trying to fix it. She needed to leave. She needed to leave now.

"Do you believe I could have any kind of serious feelings for you?" Daniel asked.

Vala froze for a moment. What was she expecting from him? She turned slowly, facing him. "I wasn't suggesting you have serious feelings, Daniel."

Daniel nodded. "Oh! Oh, what, so what-what, we sleep together once, then what?" He paused. "We work together! And you know, even saying that part out loud sounds unbelievable." He walked away from Vala laughing darkly.

Vala turned from Daniel, slowly sinking to the bed behind her. Tears sting her eyes as they threaten to fall. Vala mentally tried to keep them from falling.

"I mean…come on! I mean, I can't even imagine what a—what a relationship with you would be like!" Daniel yelled.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. She kept her breathing slow, not wanting Daniel to be given the chance to hear, or see, Vala in her weakness.

Daniel continued his rant, a tad calmer this time. "I mean, yes, yes, you've proven yourself to be…trustworthy on a professional level, and for that I am very proud of you, but on a personal level? Vala, come on, give me a break!"

Vala inhaled quietly, trying to keep more tears from falling. Why couldn't se stop crying? She was stronger than this.

"I mean, at best, you're a-a-a…an emotional…unstable wreck!" Daniel said.

Vala felt her chest seize. Daniel's words cut into her deeply.

" I'm not saying I'm much better. I'm not saying I'm much better." Daniel stepped away from Vala again. "There was a time when I thought I would never get over my wife. I mean, the idea of…being hurt that way again. But I've finally gotten to the place. I've finally, for the first time in a long time, have gotten to the place where I actually feel I could get close to somebody again. But not in a million years, a million, million years, would I ever possibly consider that person being you!"

Vala winced as his words caused more tears to fall. But she still wouldn't face him. Not now.

" I mean, we are so completely opposite and wrong for each other, it's not even funny! And the worst part, the worst part about that is, you know that!" Daniel accused. "And this whole flirty sexual thing that you do, that's just your way of having a laugh at my expense. So I'm so sorry if I'm not more appreciative of that and I'm so sorry that you're bored. But don't you pretend it's anything else!"

Vala nodded slowly, appreciative that his venomous words and harsh- yet partially true- accusations were finally over. She heard Daniel sigh and step away. Vala wiped the tears that had fallen from her chin calmly.

"Don't act like you're hurt." Daniel demanded.

Vala gasped a brief laugh. Though it sounded more like a stifled cry. She picked up her sweater and slipped her arms through the sleeves. Her breath comes out in a ragged gasped. The room is silent, except the movements of Vala and her breathing.

What was she expecting coming to him? Certainly not this. Vala knew that her deeds in her life earned her many repercussions. And Vala accepted them. But Vala never once expected this as one of them, especially from Daniel.

Daniel's steps came from the other side of the room, growing closer to her. The bed shifts as he sits on the bed beside her. Vala quickly turned from him, hiding her tear stained face. She pulled up the sleeves of her sweater.

Daniel reached up and touched her back "Hey."

Vala covered her face with her hands. Her voice failed to keep her strength. "Just give me a minute."

Daniel withdrew his hand. His eyes wandered over Vala's hunched over form. Daniel had seen Vala in many forms, but rarely had he ever seen her look…hurt. Then Daniel saw it; there had been more to Vala's motion than Daniel had seen, or more than he wanted to believe.

Vala took a deep breath and lowered her hands. She still refused to look at Daniel. "I'm sorry, Daniel, for my inappropriate behavior. Rest assured, it won't happen again." She rose from the bed and stepped around Daniel.

Daniel stood quickly. "Vala."

"Thank you, for explaining your feelings toward me." Vala said. The door of Daniel's quarters opened in front of her.

Vala walked out of Daniel's room as the door shut behind her. She wasted no time in fleeing his quarters. Her tears returned within seconds, blurring her vision. Vala ran through the halls of the Odyssey. She avoided every frequently used hall, every room that was continuously used by the others, every populated section of the ship, Vala ran from them. She ran to the darkest, forgotten sections of the ship until she couldn't run anymore.

Vala leaned against one of the walls and slid to the ground. Her chest heaved breathlessly from running. She drew her knees up to her chest. Her hands trembled as they grasped her legs. The tears fell relentlessly down her cheeks, rolling off her chin.

Those tricks she used to recover failed her. Vala was lost in a sea of her own pain and tears. The walls that had protected her for years were now lying in ruins, much like her heart. She was trapped beneath the rubble of her walls with no one to help her out.

All of Vala's first few attempts were as Daniel had said, only for amusement. But as she had kept trying, Vala felt more beyond a lust for Daniel. Truth be told, Vala wasn't quiet sure what she felt for Daniel, but she knew it was more…much more than a lust for him.

Vala sat in the abandoned corridor of the Odyssey for hours. She held her legs against her chest, letting all her pain roll from her eyes. Her breathing came in short gasp with her tears.

Vala felt no need to try and hide her pain; clearly there was no one who would care if she hurt. There was no point in dropping her emotional guard any more, no point in anything for her anymore. She could slip away to the darkest part of the ship and no one would search for her.

When Vala felt she had cried enough, she used the wall and pushed herself up to her feet. She walked through the corridor toward her quarters. Vala kept her eyes opened for anyone who she might come across, especially Daniel. As she journeyed through the halls, Vala was relieved that they were empty of everyone.

The door to her quarters opened and Vala slipped inside. She stripped from her clothes and replaced them with pajamas. Vala crawled into her bed and curled up into a tight ball. Vala took one o f her pillows into her arms and buried her face into it. She felt her tears reforming behind her lids. Vala took a deep ragged breath into her lungs and forced herself to a dreamless, tormented sleep.


please don't kill me, this is my first SG1 fic. but be honest about your review.

i own nothing