CSI: Kiss Kiss, Hellooo There: one shot

A/N: Spoilers for "Kiss Kiss, Bye Bye". This is set during the scene when Lois brings the platters of food to the lab. Here Grissom learns something new about two of his employees...


"And for you sweet boy… a little something for you at the end of your shift." Lois O'Neil handed an envelope to Greg and gave him a sly wink with a grin.

"I'm really sorry, but we can't accept this," Grissom politely declined the food her staff held.

While the entomologist and the extravagant woman bandied words back and forth Greg opened the envelope and read the slip of paper inside.

"Greg?"

He looked up to find Lois gone and his boss staring at him.

"What's that?" Grissom nodded at the paper he held.

"A… boy toy…" Greg was still in shock.

"A what?"

"A boy toy," he repeated. "When my shift's over I'm supposed to call this number and he'll arrive in a limo to pick me up."

"Greg… you can't… why a boy?"

"Oh, Grissom, I am sooo not giving this up!" Greg's grin was huge as he began to bounce on the balls of his feet in excitement. "As long as Nick says it's ok though." Greg's smile switched to a slight frown as he thought about that. How would Nick ever agree to something like this?

"Nick? What does he have…"

"I heard my name. What do I have to approve for you Greggo?" Nick appeared around a corner.

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." If he told Nick the truth, he knew what Nick would say. It was better he didn't say anything at all.

"Greg," Nick's tone said he'd be in trouble if he didn't tell him what was going on. And soon.

"He said something about a boy toy," Grissom tried to explain.

"A what?"

"I think Lois likes me," Greg smiled at him, hoping he could win him over. "She gave me a boy toy to help me relax after my shift."

"She did what?" Nick's eyes widened.

"And I'm sorry, but I'm not planning to share."

"You have to return him," Nick's response was quick, no thinking apparently necessary.

"No I don't!"

"Yes, you do Greg," Grissom spoke up. "You can't accept gifts during a case. I don't care what kind they are."

"You can tell her I said no," Nick placed the emphasis on himself.

Grissom looked at Nick, his eyebrows raised in confusion.

"Oh fine," Greg huffed and pulled out his cell phone, dialing the number provided.

"Why hellooo there," a sultry voice greeted him. "Your shift got out sooner than I expected." And oh, he sounded so delicious too.

Greg licked his lips and looked up at Nick. "Do you think… maybe… we can share?" he asked, covering the mouthpiece. He needed to at least try.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Cause I don't share."

Greg grinned at that and returned to the boy toy on the other end of the phone line. He was saying something about being versatile.

"That sounds really, really intriguing, but I'm going to have to pass." Saying no was much easier than he'd imagined as he kept his eyes on the hot man standing in front of him. All he had to do was picture Nick minus his clothes...

"What? Why?" The sultriness was gone and the boy seemed worried that perhaps he'd said the wrong thing.

"Because my other boy toy doesn't want to share." Greg winked at Nick.

"Aww, well that's too bad," the smoothness returned to his voice once again at the mention of the boyfriend Lois hadn't known about, obviously hoping he could get paid double.

Greg could feel Nick glaring at him, even before he'd had a chance to hang up. Both he and Grissom were staring at him as he put his cell phone away.

"You didn't just call me that. You didn't. Not here." Nick didn't seem too angry that he'd just outed them in front of their boss, merely shocked.

"I think I did. Boy Toy." He gave a quick laugh before he turned serious. "Besides, I wasn't going to accept her gift anyway."

"Then why did you..."

"You should have known that. I don't cheat, even if the hot sounding guy was a gift. Only you have ever been able to make me truly happy."

Nick blushed a bright fire engine red at his sincere words, though the sparkle in his eyes said he appreciated them no matter how embarrassed he was.

Catherine yelled from somewhere within the maze of the lab. "Greg!"

"Well, work is calling my name." As Greg left his boss and coworker, he gave his boyfriend a swat on the ass. Nick jumped a mile out of his skin, his cheeks turning an even brighter shade of red.

"See you later babe," Greg chirped and then he was gone, laughing jovially down the hall as both Grissom and Nick stared after him.


A/N: I apologize ahead of time for this long Author's Note...

Most of you know how I'm the Queen of Angst, but I saw this episode again recently, this scene seemed to be demanding some Greg Humor, so I wrote it out. I really hope you did find it funny. Even if there was the barest hint of a chuckle, that's better than nothing!

Anyway, for those of you who don't read the news section of my personal wiki (you should!) (Www-dot-QueenOfTheUniverse-dot-wetpaint-dot-com) I'll give you a little update on my happenings. For nearly two months I worked hard on an original novel, and not once did Nick and Greg enter my brain and beg me to write about them. This scared me quite a bit as it's never happened before, even during NaNoWriMo (www-dot-nanowrimo-dot-org), but it also invigorated me as I've been looking for a way to break into original fiction and work at getting published. Then I read Josh Lanyon's book entitled Man, Oh Man! Writing M/M Romance for Cash and Kinks and that set me off. Even if you're not looking to professionally publish anything, I highly recommend it. You'll learn a lot about writing M/M... I promise my boys will never burst into unnecessary tears ever again!

Of course, I'm still reading The Love, though I've found myself getting extremely picky about the stories I choose (Too many spelling and grammar mistakes means I probably won't read it, or an unrealistic plot, depending on what it is.)

As for my own stories, I've got six left to finish and/or write. Two, are the final pieces to the Don't Cry Daddy Series, Three are separate one shots and the final piece, entitled Faith and Love will be a foray into a different type of Love fanfic for me. Nick and Greg will be there, in a time-tested relationship, but the main story will focus on Bobby and Jack, with Nick and Greg in supporting roles. It'll be fun to write. I won't say it will be my last fic for The Love... I'll never stop loving the boys, you know I couldn't, but it will be a stepping stone, where I can take more originalish characters (since we don't know much about Bobby) and work with them, while still having well known men in very supporting roles. Jack is an original character of mine who has made a few appearances as Bobby's husband throughout my fic.

I certainly don't mean to bring you bad news. Hopefully some of you will follow me into the world of original published M/M romance fiction when/if I get there. Keep an eye on my wiki and I'll be sure to post updates, and give you the official penname I plan to use when I publish. Sound cool? I hope so.

So sorry my A/N took so long. I'll be going now...