Chapter 1: It Wouldn't Matter

(Erin's P.O.V.)

A loud noise very close to her ear woke Erin with a start. Her head shot up from where it had rested on her arms on the table and she looked around, confused and slightly annoyed at whatever had disturbed her. Finally, her gaze found her mother standing right next to her, an apologetic smile on her face and a few empty shot glasses in her hand.

"I'm so sorry, honey," she said and busied herself with cleaning the sticky surface in front of Erin with a wet cloth. "I wanted to clean up a bit and knocked over a bottle."

Taking a deep breath, Erin just nodded at her and shut her eyes for a second as suddenly, a wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm her. She rubbed her eye with the back of her hand, trying to ignore her upset stomach and dizzy mind.

"It's all right, mom," she managed to croak out after a moment. But her voice was so husky and hoarse that it was a miracle her mother even understood what she had said.

"Yeah, sorry, honey," Bunny repeated absentmindedly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Um, what time is it?" Erin ignored her mother's words and sat up, clumsily stretching her sore arms a little. Her whole body ached from the position she'd passed out in.

"It's around 3 in the morning," Bunny said casually and started picking up another glass. "Can I get you anything else?"

Erin didn't even really listen to her mother's words. Her fuzzy thoughts were already focused on finding a more comfortable place than this wooden table to take a much-needed nap on.

"I think I'm gonna head to my apartment for tonight." Erin slurred, looking around at the other people in the bar. It was a rather quiet night with a group of girls doing shots in the corner and mostly middle-aged men drinking beer together. Her lips curved into a slight frown. There was no one she might even have the slightest bit of interest in.

"You sure?" Bunny stopped cleaning the booth next to Erin's. "You know you can always stay at my place in your room. It's been nice with you around."

"Nah, I'm good...'n my apartment's closer."

Erin frantically searched for her coat for a good minute only to notice that she had been sitting on it the whole time. At least it wasn't as sticky from the spilled booze on the table as her shirt and hands.

"But I could call you a cab?" Of course Bunny tried everything to maintain a little control over her but Erin was really not in the mood to discuss this with her now. Plus, she didn't want to waste any money on a cab. The free booze was great but she needed the money she had left for…other things. And she didn't want to walk all the way to her mom's house now, especially because she was positive she was still pretty drunk - assuming alcohol was all that was in her system right now. She certainly didn't remember. Or care, for that matter.

"Just let it go, mom."

And with that, Erin struggled to get up, put on her coat and finally stumbled past her mother out the door, not even bothering to listen to whatever she was calling after her. As soon as she stepped out of the bar into the night, Erin started walking in the direction of her apartment. It was only a few blocks and no matter how drunk she was, she had always found her way back there in the past. As she felt the cold night air on her skin, a shiver went down her entire body and she immediately tightened her coat around her small frame. She wrapped her trembling arms around her torso and continued through the lonely streets.

Soon, she noticed that all this movement was doing no good to her increasingly upset stomach and the dizziness she had felt in Bunny's bar was returning full force, despite the fresh air out here. Erin only made it to the next alley before she had to bend over, clutching her middle, to empty the few contents of her stomach behind a light post. When she was done, she leaned against the wall for support and took a few deep breaths to calm herself.

Feeling beyond exhausted and tired, Erin slowly slid down the wall all the way to the ground and sat in the dirt. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, resting her head on top of it. She closed her eyes for a moment and thought about just sleeping right there in that alley. It wouldn't matter. No one expected her home, no one even knew where she was right now. And Bunny certainly wouldn't even care. Just like when she was a kid.

But somewhere deep inside of her, she knew she couldn't bring herself to actually stay here tonight. She couldn't be the girl literally sleeping in the street again. It would make everything more real and she wasn't ready for that. She didn't want to deal with it. The lone thought of it triggered a distant memory or rather a very bad feeling she didn't want to relive. She shivered again and felt her heart rate quicken, not quite understanding that sudden wave of panic and anxiety in her buzzed state.

With a sudden burst of energy, Erin quickly got up on her feet again and made her way out of there as fast as possible. She almost ran into a trashcan on the next corner as she hurried home at a fast pace. When she finally arrived at her apartment building, she was surprised to find her keys still in the inside pocket of her coat. She struggled to unlock the main door but soon found herself riding the elevator all the way up to her floor. She actually managed to open the door to her apartment after only two attempts and quickly got inside, flipping on the lights.

She hung up her coat and sighed, not willing to face what would await her. After all, she knew all too well why she had been avoiding this place for over a week now. After the attack from those dirty cops who tried to kill her and Landon, she had never bothered to clean the place. Instead, she had just left it as a crime scene that night and never looked back. Until now.

But as she headed into her living room, she stopped in her tracks, frozen in place. It wasn't messy anymore. The broken lamp was gone and Landon's blood on the couch had been removed somehow. She raised an eyebrow but found herself actually not really caring at this point as to why everything was back to how it was before the incident. She just shrugged to herself and stripped off her coat and boots, dropping everything right where she stood. She almost tripped over the coffee table on her way to her bedroom but managed to catch herself on the couch. Annoyed by her drunken clumsiness, she finally made her way over to her bedroom.

Once she reached the foot of her bed, she simply took off her shirt, bra, and pants, threw the items of clothing on the floor and crawled into bed in just her underwear. She could care less to put on some decent sleeping wear at this point.

Erin briefly contemplated who might have cleaned her apartment, but her mind was too foggy to form coherent thoughts. After settling in and clutching a pillow to her chest, she drifted off into a restless slumber.