Swim
Ryo threw himself on his bed. He squeezed his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to keep the tears in. He buried his face into his pillow and sobbed. His bed was covered in papers and books open to random pages; he had left in such a hurry that morning and hadn't cleaned up after himself as adequately as normal. His school bag was thrown into a corner of the room, carelessly. All Ryo cared about was trying to stop his crying.
The weight of his world was crushing down upon him. He didn't know what to do anymore. The more he thought about it, the more he cried. He wasn't sure he could handle it anymore.
He remembered his family. His mother and sister dead, his father never around. Ryo wondered if his father actually cared about him, or just did things for him out of obligation. Yes, he got him the Millennium Ring, but that was really it. He wondered if he was little more than a burden to his father.
He thought of school, and his 'friends'. He'd never had many friends, they kept dying or ending up in comas after playing with him, and he had never remembered what had happened. Those he met at Domino High were nice enough in general, and allowed him to tag along, but they weren't really considering him as anything but that kid who had nowhere else to go. They still shied away from him sometimes, like when the school served meat for lunch. They would casually scoot a bit further away from him, thinking he didn't notice.
But Ryo noticed. He noticed everything. He took a deep breath and sat up in his bed, wiping at his tear streaked face. Ryo cupped the ring that hung from his neck and glared at it. 'Everything can be traced back to this stupid ring!' he thought, gripping it tighter.
It was true, ever since he acquired the ring, and therein gaining his Yami, things were rough for Ryo. He lost friends, he lost ties to reality, he lost control. His body was doing things Ryo would never have it do. He had even woken up once to find his hands and shirt stained red with blood.
"I hate you!" Ryo screamed as he threw the ring across the room. The sound of the metal hitting the wall resonated through the small room and throughout the rest of the apartment. He crossed his arms over his knees and buried his face in his arms. He shook with silent sobs.
A knock sounded on his door. "Ryo?" A muffled, uncertain voice called from behind the thick wood.
"Go away." Ryo replied, attempting to put in every ounce of anger and resentment he felt into those two words. His voice shook, regardless.
The door opened and his Yami came in, anyway. He closed the door behind him and stopped, looking around the room. He took in all of the discarded papers and clothes, Ryo's backpack on the ground, and the ring lying across the room. Bakura frowned and walked over to the ring, picking it up.
"What do you want, Yami?" Ryo asked, lifting his face and glaring at Bakura.
Bakura's expression softened slightly as he took in Ryo's tear streaked face and obvious anger. Bakura walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "What is wrong, Ryo?"
Ryo breathed deeply, and wiped at his face again. "Memories like bullets, they fire at me from a gun. Cracking me off again. I'm thinking about how everything has gone wrong since you came into my life." He glared at Bakura. "It's all your fault. I don't even see the point anymore." He looked down again, his eyes welling with tears. "I hate you, yami."
Bakura blinked. He sighed and turned to face Ryo. "Ryo, you can swim through this. I know things aren't the best for you right now, but you can do it. You gotta swim. Swim for your life. You gotta swim. Swim when it hurts. The whole world is watching; you haven't come this far to fall off the earth. The currents will pull you away from your love. Just keep your head above."
Ryo lifted his head and stared at Bakura. He wasn't angry anymore, more confused.
Bakura continued, his eyes sincere and his voice calm. "You gotta swim through nights that won't end. Swim for your families, your lovers, your sisters, and brothers, and friends. You gotta swim through wars without cause. Just.... keep your head above." Bakura hesitantly reached out and touched Ryo's arm. "Swim in the dark. There's no shame in drifting, feelings are shifting, and wait for the spark. Don't let yourself sink. Just find the horizon. I promise you, it's not as far as you think. Just keep your head above."
Ryo smiled slightly. He unfolded himself from his wrapped position and crawled over to sit next to Bakura. "I found a tidal wave, begging to tear down the dawn. I swim for brighter days, despite the absence of sun. ...Choking on salt water." Ryo laughed weakly. "I'm not giving in."
Bakura put his arm around Ryo and pulled him close. Ryo smiled weakly and hugged his Yami. Bakura started humming.
"I-... I'm sorry, Yami. I don't hate you. I didn't mean it." Ryo said, closing his eyes. "I just had to blame this on someone. It wasn't fair and I'm sorry."
"Forget it." Bakura said, rubbing his Hikari's shoulder soothingly. "I know I haven't exactly been the world's best person." He laughed. "I know it can be taxing on you. I don't mean to hurt you."
Ryo smiled. "You can be a good friend, Yami. If only to me."
Bakura chuckled. "Yes, no one else gets to see this." He rested his head on Ryo's. "You can be sad. Just don't off yourself or do anything stupid, okay?"
Ryo laughed weakly. "Okay. Light at the end of the tunnel, right?"
Bakura nodded. "Just find the horizon. I promise you, it's not as far as you think."
Ryo squeezed his Yami again and they sat there, talking, until Ryo's face was dry. Bakura stood and offered his hand to Ryo, which he took. Bakura pulled Ryo up and into an embrace again, and led him out of his room. Bakura sat Ryo down on a couch and went to get him an ice cream from the freezer.
Ryo sat there and closed his eyes. Things weren't as bad as he had thought. He had forgotten how good of a friend Bakura could be to him, if Ryo needed him to be.
Bakura came back with the treat and handed it to Ryo, ruffling his hair. He then plopped down next to Ryo and looked for the remote. Bakura then found his left hand held captive, and he looked up and over to Ryo.
Ryo smiled and squeezed his hand, in gratitude. Bakura grinned back. "Oh here it is, let's watch this." He turned on Fuse to see a music video finishing.
"Swim. Just keep your head above, Swim. Swim. Just keep your head above, Swim."
[Swim- Jack's Mannequin.
I do not own either the song, or the YuGiOh characters.]
