What would you do if you had a chance to meet
with a person you used to love,
but never took the next step with?
What if you could meet up with
the one person that made you feel whole,
all those years ago?
What would you confess
if you had one last conversation
with the one that got away?
13thKey_Sora: Hey Kairi, can we talk?
Kairi_Prin7: Sora, if this is about after the graduation ceremony, those guys are just idiots.
13thKey_Sora: I know, I know
13thKey_Sora: It's just…
Kairi_Prin7: Just what?
13thKey_Sora: I'd be lying if I said I didn't like you
Kairi_Prin7: ...
13thKey_Sora: Please don't be creeped out.
Kairi_Prin7: No, no I'm not, it's just… Why didn't you tell me sooner?
13thKey_Sora: You know me… I was too scared. I don't think I'd be prepared for rejection. And I don't think that I'm ready for a relationship right now.
13thKey_Sora: Sorry you had to learn it this way… It's just that people did tell me that you liked me back, so can I please hear it from you? Just a simple yes or no.
Kairi_Prin7: Yes, yes I did.
13thKey_Sora: Why though? How would be able you like someone like me? I'm probably one of the awkward people on the planet! I'm not much of a looker either…
Kairi_Prin7: I liked you because you looked past my appearance! I'm not that attractive either, I mean, I wear glasses, my hair is always choppy, and I have braces!
Kairi_Prin7: You liked hanging out with the geeky girl that liked to write fanfics and draw Johnlock art, while I liked hanging out with the Geeky guy that loved anime and eating!
13thKey_Sora: You really mean that?
Kairi_Prin7: I do mean it Sora. You say you're not ready now, right?
13thKey_Sora: Yeah, why?
Kairi_Prin7: Let's try this relationship thing a year from now, right when our Freshman year ends!
Kairi_Prin7: Maybe by then, we'd both be ready!
13thKey_Sora: Sure! Why not?
That was a conversation I had with an old classmate and crush of mine, Kairi Heart four years ago, just hours after our Eighth Grade graduation. It's now the end of my senior year of highschool. I'm going through this old DM chain because just recently, an old classmate of mine that Kairi and I were in the Eighth Grade with, just invited me to a little reunion party. For some reason.
Now you're probably wondering, "What's the point in reading that old conversation then?" Well there's actually a really simple answer to it:
IT'S BEEN FOUR YEARS, AND I HAVEN'T SAID A SINGLE WORD TO KAIRI!
And I'm actually really freaking out about it! I haven't been hyperventilating this much ever since I actually told Kairi that I liked her! Yup, I was that awkward and weird that I started breathing heavily like some creepo stalking people on the internet!
Okay Sora, just calm down, take a deep breath and- OH GOD THIS ISN'T HELPING!
It's like all the regret and guilt I had, formed a giant bubble in my body, became bigger these past four years, and now is starting to burst because there's too much of it! I mean, it's not like I forgot about Kairi these past four years though.
Normally when the occasional thought of her popped up in my brain, guilt would always fill my heart. It's usually followed by me either randomly cursing, or trying to bash my head into a wall. After that, then it'd slowly go away, only for another thought of her to pop up again later in the day, repeating the process.
This has been happening for four years now. How embarrassing do you think it is when you try to explain to your friends why you randomly scream "FUCK!" out of nowhere?
Very. It's very embarrassing.
And it's not like I'm still in love with her. If anything, I've fallen out of love. Imagine if love was a giant crevice in the earth, and I jumped into it. After falling for some time, I then realize that there's a bungee cord tied to my feet. When the cord can't stretch any further, it launches me back onto the bridge over the crevice, that I had just jumped off on.
If that makes any sense.
The point is, I don't love her anymore. And because of that, I don't know if I hurt her or not. I mean, I agreed that we'd talk again after a year, and it's been four! And it's not like during that time, I haven't seen her on Instagram. She barely uploads, comments on, or likes pictures, but when she does happen to post a pic, the same thought rushes through my head:
What will she think when she sees that I've liked it?
Will she outright hate me? Will she be happy? Will she just ignore it and continue with her life like a normal person would?
At this moment however, I'm wondering if I should even go to the party. On one hand, I'd be able to finally do something about all this guilt that I have, but on the other, I can just play it safe, and try to never think about Kairi again…
Dammit this is a hard decision.
Maybe I should try to talk to the one person that would really listen to what I have to say about this, and will actually understand my internal quarrel. I leave Instagram, go to my contacts, and find my friend Riku. After the phone rings a couple times, he picks up.
"Hey Sora, you going to that party?" He asks. "I'm not going if you're not." His voice sounds uninterested and extremely bored.
"I dunno, okay?" I work up the courage to ask him to help me. "Hey listen, do you-"
"You probably are, considering Kairi is going."
My eyes flash open at his claim. "... what?"
"Sora, I already know why you called." He says. Dammit, why does my bestfriend have to be psychic? "You're still scared to confront Kairi about your feelings, right?"
"N-No… Maybe." Even though he's not in front of me, I can just imagine him raising his right eyebrow. "Okay fine, yes I'm still scared!"
"Dude, it's been four years."
"I don't have a crush on her anymore, Riku!"
"Then why is your voice so panicked?" He asks.
Is my voice really that nervous? I sigh. "It's because I haven't talked to her in years! What if she hates me for not doing anything?"
"You know Kairi, she can't hate anyone, even if her life depended on it."
"Listen, all I want to do is to be able to tell her sorry! So do you have any advice for me on what to do?"
"Listen Sora," Riku's voice becomes serious. "I'm sorry, but I can't help you with this. Because this has to do with your relationship with Kairi, you have to solve it yourself."
"But-"
"Butts are for sitting." Oh fuck you for playing that card. "If the friendship you and Kairi had was really special, then she'll forgive you for not taking the next step with her four years ago."
"You really think so?" I ask hesitantly.
"I know so. Anyway, the party is this Saturday. If I don't see you at Selphie's house at 8PM, I will personally drag your ass to the party, and shove you right in front of Kairi."
I gulp. "B-But aren't people supposed to show up around 7:00?"
Riku sighs. "Don't you know the concept of being fashionably late?"
"SORA GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!" Riku yells.
"I don't wanna!" As Riku tries to pull me out of his car by my legs, I wrap my arms around the chair arm.
After five more minutes of Riku pulling my lower body, my arms give out, and I fall out of his car. "Fina-fucking-ly!" Riku yells. "Now come on!"
"Fiiiiine…" I get off the ground, and start walking to the front door of Selphie's house. Just as Riku is about to ring the doorbell, Selphie opens the door.
"Hey guys! How's it going!" She asks. She's still as bubbly as ever, and her giant hair curl hasn't changed after four years either.
"Hey Selph, are Sora and I too late?" Riku asks.
"No, not at all!" She assures. "Man, you guys have changed! Sora!"
"Hm? Oh, uh, yeah?" I stutter.
"You're so skinny now! I remember how a couple years ago that you were chubby!" She raises her eyebrow, and her eyes pan up and down, as if she's looking for more things that've changed about me. "Your hair is still the same though..."
"Yeah, I went on a diet, exercised, and shit like that," I tell her. Yeah, a couple years ago, I definitely didn't look as good as I do now, if I do say so myself. "And what's wrong with my hair?"
"Anyway, c'mon in!" Wow, way to avoid the question jackass.
As soon as we enter the house, I begin to see some old and new faces. I attempt to meet up with as many of old classmates that I can, and there are even some people from the eighth grade class before us. I said hi to most of them, but Riku was the only one who held actual conversations with them, since he was the one in the same class as them. As I enter the basement of Selphie's house, where most of the people were, I see something that starts to make me nervous to the core:
Red hair.
I dodge the people walking around in the basement, and see Kairi sitting with some of our old friends, the twins Xion and Namine. But holy shit, puberty hit her like a truck! She doesn't have her braces or glasses anymore, and her hair isn't as choppy.
Okay Sora, time to do this! Just walk forward, say hi, and- OH GOD I CAN'T DO THIS!
I quickly turn around, and head back upstairs. Okay, so maybe I'm not ready to talk to her just yet, maybe I'll try again in a bit.
Three Hours Later
Wow, I really suck ass at this whole confrontation thing.
Seriously, it's already 11PM, and all I've done is just follow her around the house, waiting for a good moment to talk to her! How creepy is that?
Jesus, I need some fresh air. I walk out the front door, and sit down on the stoop. Maybe I should just leave. My house isn't that far from here to walk. Or maybe I'll just call Uber.
"Leavin' already Sora?" A voice behind me asks.
"Yeah, I-" I turn around and see Kairi grinning at me. "-got bored…"
Dear Bajesus, someone please help me. Or at least play Dearly Beloved at my funeral. Maybe even hire Utada Hikari to sing my eulogy.
"Heyyy Kairi. How's it going?" I start to awkwardly laugh.
"How come you haven't even attempted to talk to me all night?" She asks.
"Well… You know… Yeah…"
Kairi's face turns sad. "Did you really not want to see me?"
I stand up from the stoop and start waving my hands in front of me. "No no no no no! It's just that… I… I didn't know if I hurt you or not."
"How could you hurt me Sora?"
"Don't you remember that we'd promise to meet up with each other after our freshman years ends?" I ask. "The fact that we haven't talked in four years has kinda been killing me on the inside."
Kairi sits down and signals me to sit down, which I do. She takes a deep breath, and puts her hand on my shoulder. "OH THANK GOD I THOUGHT THAT I HAD HURT YOU TOO AND THAT YOU'D HATE MY GUTS!"
Wait.
What?
"Are you fucking shitting me right now?" I feeling a crap ton of emotions right now, ranging from happy that she doesn't hate me, and confused as to why I'd hate her guts.
Kairi is breathing heavily and her face is a deep shade of crimson, almost the same color as her hair. "Does it… Look like… I'm kidding here?" I start fanning Kairi's face, and she slowly starts to regain her composure. "Listen, if I hurt you because I didn't talk to you these past three years, I'm-"
"No, I'm the one who should be apologizing!" I tell her.
"But I was the one that said we should get together after a year!"
"And I was the one who left you hanging when I told you that I liked you!" I yell. "It's just… I've felt guilty these past couple years because I just told you something as heavy as that, and then did nothing about it. I feel even more guilty because you said that you liked me back. So I just want to know one thing."
"What is it Sora?" Kairi's face is full of concern. I clench my fists, and ready my heart. After all this time I can finally ask her.
"Kairi Heart, do you still love me?"
Kairi's eyes fill with shock, and she starts to blush. She then slowly looks away from me. "No… I don't. I'm sorry Sora, it's just that-"
"I don't love you anymore either!" There… I finally told her! "I even have a girlfriend!"
"You… Do?"
"Yeah, I do. Her name is Yuffie, and we've been dating for the past year. But I've felt guilty for not doing anything these past four." My breathing is course from my confession. It's like all the guilt that had built up these past four years is finally being lifted from my heart. "So what about you? Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Y-yeah, I do. I've been dating this guy named Ventus for a year as well." She confesses. "He goes to the same school I do. What about you, does Yuffie go to your school as well?"
"Yeah, she does."
"Good for you." Kairi smiles. "So do you feel guilty anymore?"
I return her smile. "No… No, not anymore."
"That's good." Kairi shivers. "Why is so cold out here? We're on a freaking island. You wanna go back in?"
"I'd love to, but I just wanna tell you one thing first."
"What?"
I flash her a grin. "I'm glad that I loved you Kairi."
Kairi returns the smile. "I'm glad I loved you too Sora!"
This was my first Oneshot, so I hope you liked it. I decided to write this because I'm suffering from Writer's Block when it comes to my other story. Feel free to leave a review, because I want to see how well my first venture into the Romance genre on this site was.
