Thank you, Dragon'sHost, for this idea! Usually I try and include as little pairings as possible, but it's a Cobra/Mirajane broship fic. How can you not have ships?
Cobra had decided that whatever divine being decided that it was a good idea for Crime Sorciere, Fairy Tail, Sting, Yukino, Rogue, and Lyon (why was he here?) to be in the same place was an idiot.
Crime Sorciere had been by Magnolia Town and had dropped in to see Fairy Tail. As soon as Yukino heard that her sister was in town, she came running, dragging the Twin Dragons with her. Sting and Rogue had promptly challenged Natsu and Gajeel to a battle, as per usual (or so he heard). Cobra was not surprised to see that they got destroyed. He was surprised, however, when Fairy Tail's personal she-devil sidled up beside him.
"You can hear thoughts, can't you?"
"What kind of a question is that?" And why did she care? Unless…he's sorry for insulting that divine being, whatever it is. It's not showing mercy. Her mind is just like Meredy's, except on a permanent sugar high.
"I was wondering if you could tell me something." came the singsong reply. Singsong voice. That was bad.
"I'm not telling you if Grey wants to kiss Juvia. Or if Elman's in love with Evergreen. Or if Lucy likes Natsu. Or whatever other twisted things your minds' spinning up."
Mirajane made a big show of waving around her arms and shushing him. "They'll hear you! Be quiet!" Cobra stared at her for a second, and then continued, just as loudly, "And I'm CERTAINLY not saying anything about Jellal. I got hit in the face with a meteor once, I don't want to experience that again."
"BE QUIET!"
This was going to be a long night.
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"Are you suuurrreee you won't tell me anything?"
"Yes."
"Possiiitttiiivveee?"
"Very."
"Absolutely and completely?"
"Most certainly."
"What if I get Kinana to convince you?"
"It won't work."
Exactly sixteen and a half minutes later, Cobra was being dragged around the guildhall, by a very happy Kinana and a very evil Mirajane.
"You're taking the blame for everything that comes of this."
"That's perfectly fine! So what about Natsu?
"Half of his brain is occupied with battling Erza. The other half is burning off Lucy's clothes to annoy her. I'm pretty sure that doesn't constitute love."
Mirajane and Kinana clucked. "You just don't understand Natsu's mind," came one answer. "It's true love!" was the other.
They were more annoying by the minute.
"So what about Lucy?"
"That girl's thought processes are so complex and twisted I'm surprised she's able to function. Forget it."
"Erza?"
"I reserve the right to not answer that question."
"Cana?"
"Drunk."
"Jellal?"
"See 'Erza'."
After several more answers like this, Mirajane gave him a very sad look. "You know, you aren't helpful at all."
That was the same face Meredy used when she wanted something. Wait a minute…..oh dear lord. It was intensifying. She learned that from the pink-haired menace herself. The irresistible pink-haired menace.
"Fine. I'll tell you one thing. But I have to say it really, really quietly."
He leaned very, very close to her ear and whispered, very, very softly,
"Juvia likes Grey."
Mirajane's scream of frustration was legendary.
This was surprisingly hard to write, mostly because I wasn't sure whether I had Cobra right or not. Well, it's done now. I think I'll make this into my first attempt at multichapter fics(though each chapter would be a separate oneshot). If there's a broship you'd like to see in a future chapter, please tell me in a review! Sayonara!
