Summary: Just a one-shot. Seth asks his favorite brother Emmett for advice on everyone's favorite subject. Sex. Just a funny one or two shot of a humorous brotherly moment. Will turn into lemons in the second chapter if I continue depending on reviews I get but for now just M for language. NOT slash.
AN- First fanfiction ever! Please be nice. Pure humor and just something that popped into my head one night which is sort of strange considering what it is. Hmm well just something funny. If I get good reviews could turn into a two-shot. Well enjoy!
Seth P.O.V
Being a wolf, I have the choice to start aging when I feel I'm no longer needed but I doubt that will happen anytime soon. Being frozen at 14 kind of sucks. I mean I'm a man trapped in a teenager's body. The Cullen's have taken me in as one of their own. I have begun calling Carlisle and Esme mom and dad and that's what they've become to me. I missed my parents a lot sometimes but they have both passed away now and Carlisle and Esme were there to fill the void of my mom and dad. The Cullen's all have their soft spots for me, even Rose. I think it has to do with being the "youngest". Nessie has matured to be 17 so even she has become "older than me. She and Jake were staying in Alaska for a while with the Denalis and Edward and Bella were staying on Isle Esme on another honey moon leaving just mom, dad, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and myself in the house. They are all pretty protective of me which I find amusing since I mean I'm a were wolf for goodness sake. I mean I can take care of myself. Yeah being 14 sucks, I mean don't get me wrong I like the fact that I can stay in tip top physical shape forever but at the same time I am still a kid. Leah decided to begin aging after imprinting on a guy and is now like 36 and has 3 kids, all girls, all my nieces. I don't get to see them that much though since the Cullens continuously have to move around and I have chosen to stay with them. Every time we move, I start as an 8th grader at the new school. My classmates find it amusing when they outgrow me junior year and all the sudden I'm the short kid in the grade.
Being stuck as a teenager also sucks because I have these RAGING hormones. I mean I'm probably the world's oldest virgin and for fucks sake I just want to fuck someone. My newest girlfriend, Meg, says that she's ready to go further than just making out. She says she wants to go at least third base but I'm a bit nervous. Sure I've got a pretty good package but I'm not exactly sure how to use it. That's what brings me to my favorite brother's room today, to ask for some advice. Emmett and Rosalie sure are loud enough that I know Emmett MUST know how to please a woman. This is going to be so damn embarrassing but what other choice do I have?
I finally grew some balls and managed to knock on the door. "It's open!" Rosalie called.
I let myself in mentally swearing because I was going to have to find a way to get Rosalie out of the room. "Hey can I talk to Emmett?" I asked.
"Sure bro." Emmett said.
"Alone?" I asked again hesitantly. "It's sort of um, private." I blushed a bit.
"I'll just go see if mom needs any help." Rosalie said giving me a curious look.
I waited for her to leave and for the door to be closed before I took a seat on Emmett's floor. "So, whatcha need bro?" He asked.
"I need some advice?" I said hesitantly. "Some girl advice."
"Are you sure you don't want Rosalie or Alice's help?" He asked me.
"NO!" I said "I mean it's not exactly help you want from your sisters." I explained.
"What is it then?" He asked.
"I umm, was wandering, umm well Meg wants to go to atleast third base and well, I don't really know what to do. I mean I want to I just don't really know how to please a lady."
He chuckled a bit. "You want me to tell you how to get your girl good and horny?" He asked me.
"Yeah I guess."
"Ok, well, first you've just got to talk to her and tell her how naughty she is and stuff and give her ass a slap. Then you just take control man. Stick those fingers in that pussy. If it smells bad don't eat it, let your dick do the rest."
I heard the door open and saw Jasper's look of disapproval. "No, no, no! Don't do that! SOME girls like that but other's HATE it. Is Meg a chains and whip type of girl?" He asked me.
I blushed a bit. "Umm, I don't think so."
"Then don't ask Emmett for advice. Rosalie and he are very rough and Meg probably wouldn't like that." He answered.
"So what do I do then?" I asked him.
"Start by making out and once she seems ready begin to rub her body over her clothes. When her breathing picks up go under the pants and if she doesn't stop you take the pants off. Start slowly, one finger, as she begins to get more and more wet add another. If you want to go all the way build up to three and when she begins to climax you stop going so fast and build up to her orgasm. Her moaning will tell you if you're doing it right." He explained. Maybe Jasper was the one to ask for advice. Meg surely wouldn't want me to treat her like a slut.
"When will I know to, well, you know go in her?" I asked my brothers.
"When she's all wet." Emmett answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"What if I don't fit? I mean I'm pretty big and she's a virgin and little so she's probably really tight." I asked them.
"You're never too big for a girl no matter how big you are. The tighter she is the better it feels for you so you are lucky." Jasper told me.
"And what if I hurt her?" I asked them.
"She's a virgin so it'll hurt her at first but she'll get so much pleasure she won't care." Emmett said.
"Ok. That makes since." I said.
The door opened once more and as if I couldn't become anymore embarrassed Carlisle stood in the doorway with a bag that he threw at me. I looked in and blushed the deepest shade of red I could as I saw condoms. "Use protection. I don't care if she's on the pill you can still get her pregnant or get an STI." He ordered me.
"Thanks dad." I said blushing.
"Remember what we said. Good luck bro!" Emmett said smacking me on the shoulder.
"You'll be fine." Jasper said sensing my nervousness.
"Use protection." Dad reinforced
And with that I began the walk to Meg's house.
Hmm, well, love it, hate it? Continue? Let it stand as a one-shot? If I continued the next chapter would be PURE lemons of Seth and Meg. So feedback? If you insist, I will try and write the lemons tonight and post in the we hours of the morning. Well anyway REVIEW!
