A/N Okay so this is my new story its shorter than the other one. My first lemon guys so please don't be too harsh.

I lie awake in bed once again. I know I shouldn't let this weigh so heavily on me but I can't help myself. Its 3am in the morning and images of 'him' still clouds my mind preventing sleep from enveloping me. I feel tired and wired, restless and frustrated. I should hate him but I can't bring myself to. I love him so much it hurts; it feels like physical pain is being inflicted upon me. Maybe I overreacted who knows? I guess I never will. When I saw him with her (Tanya) it felt like my heart had been ripped out. I thought I meant more to him than that; I wasn't one of his usual bimbos. He told me I was special, hah! What a joke that turned out to be. Though he kissing another woman couldn't have prepared me for the lies that he told the very next morning. He admitted going to the bar but denies ever kissing Tanya. I, Isabella Marie Swan saw him with my very own eyes yet he still denied it. His infidelity really crushed me. He looked so sincere, so honest when he lied that it caused me to question what else he had been lying about. This happened 2 weeks ago and still my body mourns his loss. The things he could do with those long fingers and tongue are unimaginable. The feeling of pure ecstasy when he made love to me is just indescribable. I know I shouldn't yearn for his body heat next to mine, but I do. While I was lost in my own inner ramblings I heard a feint knock on my door. I immediately flipped over to look at my alarm clock it was 3:30 am way too early for anybody to be visiting me. I tiptoed to the lounge and peeped through the peephole. Their stood Edward Cullen in all his glory. Hesitantly, I opened the door. The smell that washed over my senses was horrendous. He reeked of alcohol, his eyes wore purplish blue bruises, he hadn't shaved in a while and his attire left much to be desired. He stumbled into the lounge, sat on the large black couch and stared off into space. What the hell was he doing here? I didn't want to frighten him so I spoke softly but the look of sheer sadness on his face stopped me. Before I even had time to register what he was doing or even stop him his mouth was on mine, sucking and biting on my lower lip. I let out a guttural moan. I missed him so much, but this had to stop. It wasn't fair on me neither to his new girlfriend. I was just about to pull away when he started chanting that he didn't kiss her that she kissed him and that he pushed her off him right after . He moaned how much he loved me and how he couldn't bear to live another day without me.