There I was on the S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Ship in Midgard, doing the usual, like wandering around and the second I hear Thor trying to fix the ship with his hammer, I yell at him, when Rogers is talking patriotism, when Banner turns into the beast creature, when Stark is making another suit, or, for the worst part, Barton and Romanoff flirting with each other. S.H.I.E.L.D. is truly the loudest, most corrupt place I have ever been.
Especially when someone took my pudding:
If you are going to share a refrigerator with the Avengers, I suggest you put a lock on it and throw away the key because it's better than sharing a refrigerator with the Avengers.
But I was too new and naive.
It all started when Director Fury asked Thor if I have "mellowed out" and of course Thor had to say "yes" from which I am now considered an "Independent S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent," which apparently that means I am a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who can practically do whatever I want… Besides world domination, sadly… And of course I can't kill other agents, especially during practice.
So to move on with the story, I had to move to Midgard, thankfully. I may have my own room, but I had to share a refrigerator with the Eye of Hawk who hates me to the death, which works for me because I'm the best when it comes to hate. Or what Stark says, "Hate is your middle name, little man!" NO MORTAL CALLS ME "LITTLE MAN!"
Then of course to get back at me, Barton allowed Stark to put his drinks in the refrigerator. Then he allowed his girlfriend to put her salads in the refrigerator. Then he allowed Rogers to put his red white and blue popsicles in the refrigerator. Then he allowed Banner to put what looked like antidotes in the refrigerator. And then the worst part- he allowed Thor to take over. But every once in awhile, I will do a weekly refrigerator cleaning, by taking everyone's food except for mine and Barton's and throwing them in the trash. And I blamed Fury for doing that.
But Thor yelled at me and Thor told Banner and… I really don't have to tell you what happened next.
But one day Thor and Jane brought me grocery shopping with them. Sadly I didn't really last too long in the store because of crazy mortal girls chasing after me while swooning-ugh- worse than dying!
But Jane couldn't decide what food I'd like, so she just bought me a bunch of pudding… Ahh… Pudding… I like pudding… I've been addicted to that stuff for a long time. Too bad Asgard doesn't have any pudding.
I was so agonized when someone ate all my pudding!
I woke up that morning and opened up the refrigerator for pudding for breakfast. But there was no pudding to be found! I went around knocking on everybody's doors with a face of sadness and terror.
Romanoff opened her door.
"Whoa, Loki, what happened?" she asked with a caring face.
"Did you take my pudding?" a tear went down my cheek.
"No, I didn't take your pudding." she replied. "Are you hungry, because I do have pudding in my pantry?"
"No, no. My pudding needs to be cold."
I knocked on the next door and Stark answered.
"Did you take my pudding?"
"No… Why would I take your pudding?" Stark replied.
"You're right; you're too rich for pudding."
"You're right, Little Man."
I hate it when he calls me that!
I knocked on the next door and Dr. Banner answered.
I gulped. "Did you, by any chance…" I glared. "Take my pudding?"
"Ummm…"
I ran away.
I knocked on the next door and Rogers answered.
"Listen, you mortal patriotic punk," I shouted while poking him. "DID YOU TAKE MY PUDDING?!"
"Nope," Rogers slammed his door shut and I heard him lock it.
I knocked on the next door and Barton answered.
"Hello, refrigerator landlord!" I smiled.
"Hello, refrigerator tenant!" he teased.
"Did you just randomly happen to…?" I glared. "Take my pudding?"
Thor walked up to me. "Brother!" he tempered. "Did thou take thy pop tarts?!"
"I eat pudding." I replied.
"You consume pudding?" he asked.
"Jane gets it for me." I answered.
"Jane gets you pudding for you to consume?"
"Yes."
"Baby brother," he warned. "I shall let you- as what the Man of Iron calls it- slide, but the next time thou consumes thy pop tarts, will not- as what the Man of Iron calls it- slide.
I lifted an eyebrow.
Thor walked away.
I looked at banner and said, "Did you take my-"
"No, I did not take your pudding!" he shut his door.
Later on in the afternoon, I told all the Avengers to meet me at the Meeting Table meant for meetings, which was perfect because this was an urgent meeting.
When they all sat down, I stood up.
"If any of you fancies pudding then raiseth thy hand." I said as I raised my hand.
Everyone raised their hand except for Stark and Thor.
I lifted an eyebrow. "Why do you not fancy pudding?" I asked Stark.
"It depends on the flavor." Stark replied simply.
"Fair enough," I answered. "And why do you not fancy pudding, brother?"
"I do not dishonor my father's name by consuming mortal sweets." said Thor.
"Then why do you consume pop tarts?" I asked.
"Please, brother," he begged. "Do not tell father! But if you do tell father, let him know I am sorry!"
"I am very sorry; brother, but I have no choice." Okay you're right. That didn't happen. But it should have! Just remember that...
"If any of you consumed my pudding, raiseth thy hand."
Nobody raised their hands.
"Then who ate my pudding?" I asked sternly.
Everybody looked down.
It was quiet. I did not know who took my pudding. I wished to know who. With all the pain and misery I went through, I needed my pudding. Then a miracle happened.
Rogers pointed and everyone's mouth dropped open with shock. I turned around… And there was Fury! He was eating pudding. I walked up to him.
I snatched the pudding cup out of his hand and I looked at the label and it was my pudding!
"AHA! Why did you take my pudding?" I glared at fury.
Fury scratched his head. "Because I love pudding." he said awkwardly.
"You took my pudding for a reason…" I said. "What was it."
"I eat pudding when I'm sad."
"Are you sad?"
"No."
"Are you cursed?"
"No."
"Then you have absolutely no reason to take my pudding?"
"No."
"Handeth over yee brother's pudding!" Thor summoned his hammer as a threat.
Fury handed over a cooler.
I opened it up, and there was my pudding.
"Thank you for your cooperation, Fury." I said and I walked back to the table and consumed my pudding.
At least I had a happy ending unlike the pudding! Hee hee!
THE END.
