A lot of people seem to agree with me on the following fact : this site needz moar Hizumi and Ayumu. So here this comes ! The idea for this sprouted when I was feeling both angsty and childish-playful, which I think is quite obvious in the fic. Be warned for silly angsty boys :3
Warnings : Slight spoilers for the epilogue of the manga, flirty-deep-manly-friendship-bordering-on-shounen-ai, and probably a few swearwords. Oh, and crossdressing. (That's for you, Adina ! XD)
Disclaimer : You can't imagine what Spiral would be like if I owned it. (No, honestly. You can't.)
"Your coat."
"Oh, come on, it's been sunny and warm outside for weeks."
"Your coat, Hizumi."
"Yeah, yeah. Got the money ?"
"Not much, but yes."
"Snatched it from your dear neesan ? She's gonna kill you."
"She gave me some for the snacks and drinks machines. And I went through Aniki's pockets for more."
Hizumi laughs. "Well done, that !"
"I know. Let's go."
Hizumi grins as he puts his coat on.
"Green hair and red coat, how discreet," Ayumu remarks.
"Shut up, I like it." Ayumu shuts up and buttons up Hizumi's coat.
They begin with the shopping district, reasoning that this is where they're likely to find the most expensive things and they'd better do it first. They go in every shop that catches their eyes, more to look and fool around (Hizumi does the latter, anyway) than to buy much anything.
Though, to Ayumu's urging, Hizumi quickly buys himself a cap with some band's name tagged on it ; he insists it's a shame not to enjoy the sun properly, but after hard bargain Ayumu lets him stuff his coat in his backpack if he'll wear the cap. Ayumu takes off his own coat by the time they've reached the main shopping street anyway.
Hizumi searches through three bookshops before finding and buying a specific video-game helping guide, while Ayumu spends a good ten minutes carefully choosing a porn magazine, to the other boy's utter glee.
"For a friend," Ayumu quickly explains with a sly grin. "Because I know he'll like it and hence hate me, and his girlfriend is going to kill him. Again."
He gets a pat on the back as a mark of cheerful approval.
Hizumi next drags his partner inside a toys shop. Ayumu promptly finds a plastic baseball bat and proceeds to chase him around the shop in revenge, until Hizumi picks up a buzzing light-saber.
"Don't you dare say you're my father," Ayumu warns him as he trades his bat for another saber, flickering neon green.
Hizumi laughs out loud while they spar. "We've got enough genetic craziness anyway," he agrees.
Their fighting and chasing brings them to the part of the store dedicated to plush toys, and Hizumi carelessly drops his saber to go poke the stuffed animals and try on the puppets.
"Braided-girl would like this one," he remarks, waving the arms of a cute little cat puppet under Ayumu's nose.
The other boy grunts noncommittally. "That Kanone guy too," he simply remarks.
Hizumi shrugs and puts back the thing on the shelf to go look at the dolls. He catches Ayumu staring at it afterwards, though, but neither of them actually buys it, nor do they say anything more about it.
Next are some clothes shop. They try on basically everything ; Hizumi manages to make Ayumu dress up in black leather and fishnet ("Oh God, I look like Rutherford.") and takes some pictures. Ayumu stoically endures being called a pervert when he gets to return the favor.
"Gorgeous," he comments when Hizumi finally gets out of the changing cabin.
Hizumi only blushes a little but flashes him a wide cheeky grin. "Oooh, you flatterer, do you mean that ?" he asks in a girly voice, wrapping his arms around Ayumu and gracing him with his best flirty gaze.
"Absolutely," Ayumu answers without so much as blinking. "Really, gothic lolita is exactly your style."
Hizumi winks and blows him a kiss mockingly before bursting into laughters, and Ayumu smirks as he takes the pictures.
"You sure you don't have Kiyotaka's credit card ?" Hizumi later asks while changing back into his own clothes.
"Yeah. Why, do you want that dress ?"
"No, but I like the shoes."
Ayumu snorts and Hizumi pops his head past the curtain to show him he's grinning again. "I'll remember that for your next birthday."
They have lunch in an American fast-food where Hizumi gets happily stuffed with greasy fries and mayonnaise. He threatens to force-feed Ayumu if he doesn't at least taste something else than the salad ; Ayumu calmly asks whether he plans to do it with his hands or mouth, but ends up eating a few nuggets anyway.
Since the sun is still shining brightly, they go for a walk in a nearby public park after lunch.
"Ice cream ! I want some, I want some !"
"You're acting like a brat again."
"So what ? Come on, Ayumu, it's been forever since I had any !"
Ayumu sighs.
A few minutes later, Hizumi is sitting on the low wall surrounding the fountain, naked toes splashing in the water and pink ice cream all over his nose. Ayumu is eating his own in a much more dignified way that makes him look more like he's doing homework than eating a treat, which just forces Hizumi to tease him about it. Ayumu responds with a blank, unimpressed look.
"Don't eat so fast or you'll get a headache."
"Yeah, yeah." Hizumi grins and wiggles his toes. The movement startles a koi carp, making it brush his foot, so when he's finished Hizumi tries catching the fish swimming in the crystal-clear water.
He doesn't manage to catch even one, of course, but he's splashing water everywhere like a little kid and laughing like one too, and Ayumu doesn't even mind that much when he accidentally (or not ?) gets splashed.
Though he does mind just enough to splash Hizumi back.
By the time Ayumu finally decides that this is really stupid and childish, they're both dripping wet ; so they take off their coats (he stopped nagging Hizumi about getting ill hours ago) and lay down in the grass to dry and sunbathe for a while. Then Hizumi declares that they've had enough sun and oxygen for the afternoon, and he drags Ayumu to an arcade.
He actually doesn't completely own his partner at every game they play. Ayumu is rather unexperienced but he has quick wits and good coordination, and he learns fast. Hizumi moans in protest when Ayumu beats him at a two-players fighting game with his very own favourite character, using his signature combo.
They take turns attempting to get the ridiculous prizes from the (insanely difficult to maneuver) rewards machines, and after a few tries Hizumi manages to make the metal claws grab some kind of terribly ugly stuffed animal.
"It looks like a Pokémon," Ayumu off-handedly comments when Hizumi cheerfully hugs the thing and grabs its paw to make it wave at him. "Except even uglier. What ?" he adds, noticing the other boy's stare.
"You know Pokémon ?" Hizumi blurts out, eyes wide.
"... Heard about it when it was the latest fashion for the kids. Don't go thinking I'm a fan or something."
Hizumi purses his lips warily. "I'm not sure whether that gives you a hundred coolness points or makes you drop down to geekdom," he mutters, thoughtful.
Ayumu pointedly ignores him. Hizumi shrugs and stuffs the thing in his backpack, head and front paws poking out.
Then they do some purikura, because it's a stupid girly thing and neither of them has ever done any, much less with a friend. They print a dozen of them and Hizumi sticks some to Ayumu's backpack ; they both pretend Ayumu doesn't notice.
"If only we still had that dress," Ayumu sighs wistfully.
Hizumi snickers.
Then he starts coughing.
"No, no, he'll be okay, happens all the time," Ayumu quickly assures concerned passersby while patting Hizumi's back. "No need to call a doctor, honest, he'll be fine."
But he looks worried himself as he leans closer to Hizumi (bent over and trying hard to catch his breath and hoping, wishing, praying all the gods he's never believed in not to spit up blood) and lays an arm around the ill weak shaking boy's shoulders.
"You'll be fine," Ayumu whispers in his ear.
Hizumi coughs one last time - it ends in some kind of choking strangled moan - and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. He doesn't look up, and even when Ayumu's hand tightens on his shoulder he doesn't answer anything.
By the time night falls, they've gone back to the park with the koi pond. Hizumi is sitting on the low wall again, watching the fish gleam white and red and gold. "Here," Ayumu says, handing him a can of hot tea. Hizumi sets it by his feet, on the ground this time ; the air is still warm, but not enough to be getting his toes wet again. (Though you could never blame Hizumi for being too careful and sensible.)
Ayumu sits down beside his friend, holding his own opened can in both hands and blowing on it softly. Hizumi tilts his head back to look up to the sky. Stars are just starting to light up. "Hey, look, there are the star lovers," he says, pointing them out with his forefinger.
"Orihime and Hikoboshi ?"
"Yeah, I think that's it. They're called Altair and Vega in America."
"Really."
"Yup !" Hizumi grins. "Don't you know their story, it's really depressing and beautiful and stuff —"
"Actually, I do."
"— see, Altair was just a cow herd and Vega was a princess —"
"I know."
"— but they loved each other so much that the king allowed them to get married —"
Ayumu groans and covers his eyes with one hand.
Hizumi pokes him in the ribs a while later. "And they lived happily ever after," he concludes with the tone of one repeating himself. "One night a year, anyway."
"Right," Ayumu yawns.
"Okay, so now, applaud my story-telling skills !" Hizumi commands mock-haughtily.
Ayumu stares at him, deadpan.
"No."
Hizumi pouts. "But I just told you a beautiful story !"
"Which I already knew about," Ayumu reminds him dryly. You never know, maybe he'll listen this once. "We kind of celebrate that story with a festival every year, after all. It's not so hard to imagine I might have heard about it once or twice."
"... Okay," Hizumi shockingly answers, looking serious and frowning thoughtfully. "Then, how about..."
"Oh, please, don't you start..." Ayumu groans to his can of tea.
His friend grins. "If I catch a fish this time, you'll have to congratulate me ! It's such a difficult trial, I deserve a reward !"
"What the hell, Hizumi."
Hizumi does catch a fish. With his bare hands. After a good ten minutes of intense focusing (and at least half of that time doing weird faces), ridiculous battle cries at each one of his failed attempts (too many to count), and a few occurrences of swearing out of exasperation, but still. He does catch one. A beautiful gold and white carp that struggles helplessly in his grip.
He's grinning like a cat would in his position, but quite unlike a cat, he gently drops his so-called prey back in the water before staring at Ayumu. Still grinning, of course.
"I am not congratulating you, if that's what you're expecting," Ayumu kindly informs him.
Hizumi puffs his cheeks in annoyance. "But why ! Why not ?! I told you a beautiful story and I caught a fish ! Why don't you wanna acknowledge my greatness ?!"
Ayumu only cocks an eyebrow.
Hizumi starts shaking his arms around like a windmill gone berserk. "I've been nice today !" he keeps going desperately. "I wore my coat in the beginning and I bought a cap and I dressed up just for you and I didn't annoy you too much and —"
"No."
Hizumi frowns. "Hey, I'm gonna die to give you a few spare years, the least you could do is humor me !"
Ayumu gazes at him a long time, but Hizumi is looking serious now and staring right back, almost defiantly, unwavering. So, slowly, he leans in. He feels Hizumi startling a little, then stiffening and tensing up, just before he kisses him softly.
When he leans back, Hizumi looks away, unshed tears in his blinking eyes and thick voice. "I said 'humor me', you bastard," he whispers. "Not 'make me want to live longer'."
Ayumu can't find anything to answer.
Kirie is waiting for them outside the park. She throws her cigarette out the window when she sees them approaching and shoves a lollipop in her mouth while they get into the car.
She doesn't say anything ; none of them does during the whole ride. The hospital is a sharp contrast, all hustling and shrieking, the nurses and doctors loudly complaining, scolding and yelling, telling them how reckless and stupid they've been. Only then does Kirie speak.
"Shut up," she says. "Let them live a little."
She doesn't add 'while they can', but everyone can hear it. The boys' personal doctor sighs and hurries them back to their rooms.
Hizumi has an attack that night. His heart stops for one minute.
This is not the first time it happens, but that is little comfort.
Ayumu only finds out the afternoon of the following day, when he tries for the fifth time to get inside Hizumi's room and the nurse can't pretend any longer that the boy is still sleeping. She won't let him in, no one will ; so he sits down by the door and waits.
Madoka finds him there a couple hours later and simply sighs. Then she sits down beside him on the floor, setting the crutch between them.
"I don't need it," Ayumu says without turning his head to look at her.
"Yet," she shrugs. "The doctor insists on it, though." Ayumu doesn't scowl, but sighs instead. "Anything you'd like ? Besides seeing Hizumi-kun," she quickly adds when he opens his mouth. He shuts it slowly.
"A book," he eventually answers. "And a glass of whatever I'm allowed to drink this week."
She smiles and pats his head, looks for a second as if she's about to hug him or kiss his forehead, then stands up and leaves without doing either. Ayumu sighs and lightly lets his knuckles fall against the door.
He knocks.
"Fuck off," Hizumi's rasp voice snarls through the panel.
"It's me," Ayumu says clearly.
There's a long silence, then :
"Fuck off."
Ayumu bites his lip but doesn't move, and quietly thanks Madoka when she comes back with his current read and a glass of water.
They had to have that conversation sooner or later, of course ; Hizumi knows it just as well as Ayumu. But it is a conversation they hold in blank voices filtering through a locked door.
"What the hell, Hizumi," Ayumu says after Madoka has left and he has finished his book.
He wasn't really expecting an answer, but he can just barely make out a tired sigh through the door. "You don't get it."
"I think I do, but I can't be sure if you won't talk to me." He shrugs even though the other boy can't see him.
"No, you don't."
Ayumu starts distractedly playing with his bookmark. "Do enlighten me."
There's a long silence again, but Ayumu expects it this time when Hizumi finally whispers :
"It's easier to think that I'm dying for you when I don't see you."
Ayumu frowns and the words automatically slip out of his mouth before he can even think.
"That's completely illogical. Isn't it harder to die for someone you don't even see ?"
Hizumi laughs, although it sounds more like he's coughing or choking — but Ayumu has heard that harsh, struggling, desperate noise a lot lately and recognises it for what it is. Laughter, although there is no hint of honest amusement.
He can picture Hizumi, right now, curled up in a tight little ball under the pristine white hospital bedsheets, hugging the ugly stuffed Pokémon close and pretending he doesn't feel like crying.
"No," Hizumi says with that bitter humor of his. "'Cause when I see you, I wanna keep living."
