Headstrong

Song By: Hinder

EDWARD'S POV

*I do not own Twilight, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. The song Headstrong belongs to Hinder, I don't own that either. This is pretty much Edward vs. Jacob based on New Moon, when Edward is gone. I hope you like it. ^_^ Review, Please. Enjoy!*

I almost expected more from Jacob. Yes, I was gone for a few months but that didn't mean that he could take my soul mate away from me. I knew all too well what was going through his head. I could see what he wanted to do with her and it disgusted me. I wanted so much to go back and kill him for what he thought of Bella. The way he thought of her made me sick. I revolted him so much that all I could think were think that I could do to get rid of his existence.

Circling your, circling your, circling your head,
Contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth, I got doubt
A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out
See you later
I see your fantasy, You want to make it a reality paved in gold
See inside, Inside of our heads (yeah)
Well now that's over
I see your motives inside, decisions to hide

I really felt it best for Bella if I stayed away from Forks, from her, and from what we had become. After what happened at her Birthday party I knew that Jasper couldn't take much more of this. It was either change her now and stay with her or leave her and just live with the pain that I caused her that I caused myself. I really want to stay but I was thinking of a way to protect her. I didn't have any choice in the matter, really. I was either going to keep her in danger by staying with her or keep her alive without me to make things difficult.

Now while I was gone, I kept tabs on her. I truly cared about how she was doing. I wasn't expecting to rip out so much of her soul, her heart, when I left her. I wanted her to move on and act like nothing between us had ever happened. That didn't happen the way I was hoping it would. I never expected her to turn to that dog. She really has an eye for danger and follows it. I love the fact that she found someone to confide in while I was away but did it really have to be the dog? I really got jealous while I was away. I had wished that I had not left, that I had stayed and we worked through this whole thing. But I saw how it was tearing my family apart, keeping her human. Roselie and Emmett were gone, Jasper and Alice ended up leaving, and Carlisle and Esme left also. I was going to break it off with Bella to save my family. Why couldn't it be easier, especially when I wasn't there to comfort her in the loss? She just had to go to the dog. Jacob's a good guy, but when he starts thinking about Bella that way, I shudder to think what could have happened if I hadn't come back.

Back off I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong
Headstrong we're Headstrong
Back off I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong
I can't give everything away
I won't give everything away

I had stayed away too long for both Bella and I. Why couldn't this be simpler? I kick myself everyday because I didn't stay with her. I should've stayed and worked through this with her and my family. Why did we have to lie and say that Carlisle got a better job offer in California, of all places? I knew Bella wouldn't believe that. She knew our secret and how we couldn't go out in public in the sunlight. Why had we said California?

While I was gone Bella got really close to Jacob. A little too close for my taste, but I was glad that she found someone to hang out with instead of being lifeless at home every day. See, I was keeping tabs on her with Alice's help. I hadn't expected this to happen though. Did Jacob really think of Bella that way? I couldn't believe it to start out. Maybe I was hearing Mike again. Then the thoughts were becoming more and more pronounced as she was over at Jacob's house almost every day after school. It was good that she found something to do with herself instead of school, work, and moping around the house for hours on end. But did it have to be Jacob? Why couldn't it be Jessica or Angela? I do respect the fact that Jacob and Bella are friends and though I may despise the friendship its Bella's choice who she wants to befriend and who she doesn't. For heaven's sake, she befriended me and my family all on her own.

Jacob's mind was getting fouler and fouler by the day. Every day that they were together I saw what he wanted to do to her and what he wanted to do with her. It was despicable, the way he thought of her. I couldn't just sit by and just listen. It was really starting to get on my nerves.

Conclusions manifest, your first impressions got to be your very best
I see you're full of shit, and that's alright
That's how you play, I guess you'll get through every night
Well now that's over
I see your fantasy, you want to make it a reality paved in gold
See inside, inside of our heads (yeah) Well now that's over
I see your motives inside, decisions to hide

I really wanted to go back to Forks, Washington and kill that mangy, good-for-nothing, little mutt. He was getting very vulgar in his thoughts and it was annoying the crap out of me. I'm sure I was getting on my family's nerves with all my spouting off profanities about him and what I wanted to do with that mutt when I got a hold of him. I truly wanted to kill him, I really did. My mom, Esme, kept telling me to "do unto others as you would have done unto you". I knew what she meant but it was so hard not to think about all of the things I wanted to do to him. It was good that Bella didn't know what he was thinking. She would have killed him herself if she knew. My family was holding me back from what my mind was telling me to do for Bella's sake. I knew that Bella wouldn't want me to kill her best friend, though I had been her best friend and more when I was at home. I really wanted to keep things good between us, like it was before I left. I wish I could turn back time and change what I had done to her.

Jacob was really starting to annoy me with his unending thoughts of what he could do for Bella and how he could make her feel. I truly despised him for it. My dad, Carlisle was always saying "son, he's just a boy, do you honestly think that Bella would even consider dating him?" I suppose he's right but I just wanted to kill him.

Back off I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong
Headstrong we're Headstrong
Back off I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong
I can't give everything away
I won't give everything away

The day I came back was a day of celebration for Bella, my family, and me. My family was waiting to come back home. Home felt like a safe word to use, though we moved around a lot, we really didn't have a home. Forks, Washington was the first place we had stayed the longest. Everywhere else we stayed for only a few months before Emmett or Jasper did something terrible to force us to move again. I hated moving. All the new human smells we had to get used to, all the new thoughts that I had to weed through, and the same boring school day that none of us looked forward to.

The first thing I did when we got back was that I went to Jacob and told him what I truly thought of him. I met him at the borderline of the treaty. I had called him earlier and told him to meet me there and not to say a word to Bella about this. I told him off for about an hour while he stood against the railing of the bridge with this amused look on his face which infuriated me further. It took all of my strength from lunging at his exposed throat and killing him right there.

I know, I know all about
I know, I know all about your motives inside, and your decision to hide

When I finally let Jacob speak, all he said was "come on Edward, don't tell me u didn't get any enjoyment out of my fantasies and thoughts about Bella. She's a gorgeous girl why let her go to waste?" I so wanted to push him off of the bridge and watch as he splattered on the ground below but I refrained for Bella's sake.

Back off I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong
Headstrong we're Headstrong
Back off I'll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong
I can't give everything away
I won't give everything away

When I finally left, I went straight over to Bella's house to wait for her in her room. When she got home from work, I could hear in her voice that she was emotionally and physically drained. I wanted so badly to run down the stairs and gather her up in my arms and just hold her and breathe in her scent that I had long missed. Charlie was home so I didn't want to seem like I broke into the house while they were both gone. I couldn't wait to see the look on Bella's face when she saw me, lying on her bed.

When she finally walked into her bedroom, it took her a while to notice me lying on her bed. She went through her normal routine of throwing her book bag on the chair at her desk and then went over to the closet. I knew what she was going to do when she got there so I walked up behind her and just stood there waiting and breathing in her scent, the scent that I was waiting for, to smell, to taste. I couldn't wait to kiss her soft lips again. When she turned around, she nearly fell over from running into me. I caught her with one hand as she just stared at me with a look of disbelief in her eyes, I finally said "hello, Bella. I've missed you so much." She just stared at me with disbelief. Until I kissed her soft lips and then she knew.