I had always been a disappointment. Whether it was to my dad, or to Kurt, I seemed to be the central problem. I still remember the pain on Kurt's face when I... told him what had happened. It killed me. I still to this day, can't believe what happened, what I did to him. I hurt him bad… and I guess that's why he never took me back. I didn't deserve him anymore. He said he didn't trust me. How could he, when I couldn't even trust myself? I felt like a monster. But things turned around when I started looking at colleges to apply to.
My senior year was well, rough. I was miserable for at least ¾ of the year, trying to figure out what to do. I almost transferred back to Dalton. Sam convinced me to stay, but it was just so he wouldn't become the student bod president. That Was "Too much" for him. I almost quit school all together and went to New York, trying to make it. But my brother, cooper, wasn't going to let me quit. He said he's never hear the end of it from dad. I stayed a McKinley, but I was different. Well, I mean I acted different. I was quieter, I kept to myself, and I denied the solo at nationals that year. I just changed completely, I shut down. I didn't want to do anything.
Senior year started looking up when I applied for NYADA. I was determined to get in, like Rachel Berry determined. I stayed after school every day and practiced my number. I couldn't practice at home. That "Annoyed" my father. Of course it did… he didn't care if I got in or not. But I did, I wasn't staying in Ohio for the rest of my life.
It came time for auditions and I had everything prepared. I was singing "Being Alive" from "Company". I stepped on stage and I nailed the audition. Carmen Thibodeaux told me I did a fantastic job. A few months later I got my acceptance letter from NYADA. So I was off to New York.
Saying my first year in the big city was amazing would be an understatement. I loved every class I had at NYADA. I got to see Times Square in person. I got to see the ball drop on New Year's Eve. I saw a couple shows on Broadway. Life was good.
So now I'm here, four years later, with my first big audition. I've been practicing for 2 months now and I think I'm ready… I hope I'm ready.
