Well kiddies, its that time again; time for me to make a multiple chapter fic and only manage to fart out one chapter. WATCH ME GO! Yes this time its on Saiyuki…God damn…yeah I love this anime to death…and now…I'm going to trash it.
Today is Monday
Yes, today was Monday, an average day, the beginning of the week and the daily grind. Office worker Genjo Sanzo got out of his red sports car only to be harassed by his co-worker who was parked in her car next to him.
"Hey Sanzo, riding to work in your fancy ass car again are ya?!" Yaone screamed from her purple mini van packed with her seven whining kids (ages one to seven), "Well you know they say the men with fancy cars are trying to compensate for something." She said with a fiendish cackle as one of her children made a fart noise against the window.
"Yeah, shut up Yaone you slut. Why don't you go reproduce or something?"
"Oh, fuck you. You're just jealous that I actually have someone to reproduce with." She said as she slammed the van door shut and adjusted her pinstripe blazer, which dove down so far that her neon green bra was showing.
"Mommy! It's hot in here…" One of the children moaned through a kool-aid stained mouth and a runny nose.
"Oh don't worry baby," She said as she glanced at her watch "mommy will be back in…oh...about eight hours." She then turned on her heel and waltzed into the office building, all while purposely shaking her ass at Sanzo on her way in. Sanzo turned around to see all seven children mashing their faces against the window.
"Ew…" Sanzo commented to himself as he saw a slime mark left behind from one of the children. "I hate my life."
Sanzo sat at his cubicle ready to do some typing about god-knew-what, he never really knew what he was being paid for. Most of his time would be spent typing limericks about his co-workers, his most resent one was quite creative he thought:
There once was a whore named Yaone,
Who let people ride her like a pony,
She's a nasty looking tank,
And a fishy smelling skank,
If she were a man she'd be named Tony.
"Wow! Man, that poem sucks complete ass." A brown haired guy commented behind him as he peered over the blonde man's shoulder.
"Who the hell are you?!" Sanzo said as he brought his hands up to cover his monitor.
"I'm Goku, I'm new here." He said with a friendly smile as he extended a hand.
"Oh…fantastic." Sanzo groaned when in reality he wanted to vomit all over the brunette's face, but he wanted to wait a while before they got friendly like that, "You an English major or something?"
"Ah no I just love poetry; I've been studying/writing it for years…"
"Uh-huh." Sanzo snorted, "So what's wrong with my poem?"
"It has no depth." He explained nonchalantly.
"Depth?"
"Yeah, like you really need to elaborate on it a bit more. Like this:" He said as he began typing away at the computer.
Yaone…you are the red street walker,
You are the raven-haired mistress of Satan,
And you m o a n as you are ridden like the stallions of Mars,
Your body is hairy and strong like the great yaks of Mongolia ,
Even Attila would be in awe,
Your ripe smell of tuna long… past its heyday,
R A P E S my nostrils and mirrors your anger,
Anger that could only be summoned,
By the burliest of Hell's Angels…
T o n y …
"Hey…" Sanzo said as took in the last of the poem, "That's not bad…"
Goku stood back with his hands on his hips as he watched his new friend reread the poem with even more approval the second time, "Thank you." he said.
"Your going teach me to write like that." Sanzo commanded.
"Uh…I don't have a choice?"
"No."
"Hey that's really accurate poem, Sanzo." Hakkai said as he placed a box of files down on the blonde's desk.
"I didn't write it, the kid did." He said gesturing to Goku who was chugging some coffee.
"Hey you ass hole that's my coffee!" Sanzo screamed.
" 'Goku' is it? Do you think you could write a poem for me and my girlfriend?" Hakkai asked cheerfully ignoring the fact that a blood vessel in Sanzo's eye had just burst.
"SANZO!" Another voice blared causing Hakkai to scream like a girl and hide under his friend's desk.
"WHAT!?" He screamed at the purple haired beast that had plowed down one side of his cubicle.
"You scratched a hole in my van!" She screamed at him as she dug her heel into the fallen wall.
"What?! No I didn't! It was probably one of your slimy offspring clawing for air!"
"How dare you refer to my children that way! You're just jealous cause' you have a tiny pecker!"
"What the fuck are you talking about?! What does this have to do with my dick?! And why would I be jealous of you if I indeed was lacking anything!?"
Yaone paused for a moment as her face scrunched up in deep thought. Goku took the opportunity to speak up, "Um, if you don't mind...I'm going to go and find the copy room and Xerox my ass."
On his way to the copy room, he heard some slight mumbling from the group; "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! 'YOUR RIPE SMELL OF TUNA LONG PAST ITS HEYDAY'?! YOUR FUCK'N SICK SANZO!"
"YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH!"
"EW WHAT THE HELL IS HAKKAI DOING UNDER YOUR DESK!? IS HE GIVING YOU HEAD?!"
"If you have a twenty I can do you too." The man under the table said with a smile.
Maniacal laughter could then be heard causing a slight chuckle to escape Goku as he dropped his pants and sat on the warm comforting copy machine.
T.B.C…?
Hmmm...now that I read this its actually not as weird and random as my other humor fics....I dunno…maybe I'll go on with this…make it a really REALLY messed up romantic comedy…I have yet to get Gojyo in there and believe me…I have plans for him….hehehehe….all up to you guys…R&R.
