Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Harry Potter.

Title: The Woe of Hogwarts


On a rainy Friday morning, whatever Ron Weasley said then happened. He joked that Umbridge would still deny Voldemort was back even if he was to walk into the Great Hall wearing a pink dress, then kiss Dumbledore.

A few moments later this very thing happened much to the disgust of everyone there.

In Potions, he told Harry "I would give anything for it to start raining bacon,". Before anyone knew what was going on, it was raining delicious crispy bacon.

It was then the boys discovered Ron's gift which led to horror and annoyance for all at Hogwarts.

Draco Malfoy lost all his hair and spent the day running from a group of angry white Ferrets. A piano, then a house fell on Umbridge.

The library was overrun with intoxicated Garden Gnomes. Every common room had a shark smoking a cigar in it.

First Years were battling House Elves, Professors had no clothes on and Goblins were fighting Unicorns on the Quidditch pitch.

Just after Snape got married to a Troll Hermione knew her friends needed someone to stop them so she wrote to Mrs Weasley.

Who luckily arrived just in time to stop Ron from saying something about spiders eating Slytherins.

After a very long and extremely loud conversation with his mum, Ron didn't speak a word for two months.

When he finally did, he found his gift had gone away.


AN: I wrote this because I was bored this is no way a serious fic whatsoever.